Photo Chop: 6th Edition

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What’s up, fuckers! Photo Chop has moved to Sundays in the interest of giving everyone more time to fart around with all these stupid pictures I find! No more worrying about trying to whip up an entry at work and having to hide your Pixlr window from your boss (who is probably a dick and/or bitch)! Huzzah! And huzzah again to the Masterlord for slithering in and RKO‘ing the 5th Edition into oblivion!

WINNER_5thEdition

A sincere round of applause for all the other 5th Edition entries, you guys are starting to get creative now. I like that. Masterlord, don’t forget to get in touch with Papa Joe for your copy of Buckshot Facelift‘s Living Ghosts of the Northern Shore! Now, on to the inaugural Sunday edition!

So now that ‘Merica has emerged from the worst month of the year and has more daylight to look forward to, what’s making you happy with Spring on the way? Nah now don’t try to deny it with the whole “I’m an evil force of metal to be reckoned with all the time 666 lol” bullshit, there’s gotta be something that’s keeping you from fully submitting to the void, and I wanna know what it is. Come on buddy, you can share it with us! *smiles & gives reassuring gentle punch to the shoulder*

What’s that? You’re not happy? Aww why not? … … … oh, that’s uh… that’s pretty dark, man. Wow. I’m not even sure how to respond to that one. Whew… yeah just gimme a second, I feel kinda lightheaded, oh man. Oh man. *shakes head* Oh man. Ugh, I feel shaky, uh… I’m gonna sit down on the floor here for a minute…. yeah if you could grab me that thing of water over there I’d appreciate it. I’m not even sure how to get that out of my head now, just hearing you say that makes me want to find an abandoned house and hang myself from the basement rafters. Ugh yeah I’ll be okay. Tell you what, just photoshop whatever you want dude. Forget the whole happiness thing. Just forget it. No point. There’s no point. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again, that emotion has completely left me now… *stares ahead blankly for 40 minutes*

The rules:

  • Keep it clean & safe for work
  • Be creative & use whatever tools you want; “talent” or “skill” is not required
  • Post your entry in a new Disqus comment below
  • Entries will be judged on the number of upvotes they receive
  • The winner will be announced in the following week’s edition and will win $500!*

* You will not win $500.

Here’s your image:

PhotoChop_6thEdition_Image

 Stab to embiggen (via)

*continues staring at nothing for three hours* … … …Satan.

(header img via)

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  • And so the cycle begins anew.

  • Good idea fellas, more time to perfect my photoshop game.

    • more beer

      I saw Enslaved last night it restored my faith in the metal community. As there was none of that rapey type shit that went on at Doro.

      • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

        I’m listening to the Monkees. I don’t know why but I’m enjoying them.

        • more beer

          I don`t either.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Their TV show is good though.

          • more beer

            I think silly is the word you are looking for.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            It’s a funny show. I like it more than the damn Brady Bunch which is on all the time.

          • Dr. Dubz

            What channels do you watch that have the Brady Bunch on constantly?

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            There’s a lot of local channels that rerun old shows and Brady Bunch is rerun constantly as well as the Andy Griffith Show and Barney Miller.

          • Dr. Dubz

            You should get Netflix, homey. You’ll find your television time much more enjoyable.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I have it. I watch Power Rangers on it as well as any other shows I loved in my childhood.

          • Lacertilian

            Do they show Dino Riders?

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            They have all of the seasons of Power Rangers but I’m unsure if they have Dino Riders.

          • Lacertilian

            Power Rangers was a bit past my childhood. My little brother used to watch the shit out of it though.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I still love it.

          • Maik Beninton

            Here the Warner channel has constant Friends reruns, and that goes on air on 5 or 6:00 pm.
            I’ve watched all the seasons from there.

        • Based Tapir

          It’s not a big surprise. They’re dad rock and you’re very partial to dad rock.

      • Maik Beninton

        Well Doro plays the type of metal that’s pretty attractive for bdubs bros.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCOGy0CvR9Y

        • more beer

          It wasn`t b dubs dudes it was more like registered sex offenders.

  • Enemy Of The Free World

    Now I need to revisit this? *in an ironic voice* Great.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      It doesn’t

      • Enemy Of The Free World

        So I thought.

  • Dagon

    Satan

  • Dr. Dubz

    Just for clarification, we’ll be trading off between Whiffs and Photochops on Sundays. Maybe even something new too.

    • J.R.

      Wait for reals? Surely we have not run out of whiffs. Though I can forgive you if it is because the pungent stank of Wiff has curdled your soul and a break is needed.

  • Pretty sure I’m dying. The only thing that might save me is sweet ‘chops.

    • Dr. Dubz

      Woikin on it.

    • how do i chop photos

      • pixlr.com. Stack images on top of each other with layers and cut ’em up.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      DON’T DIE JO PLZ

  • Scrimm

    I need some kind of image editor. This computer sucks.

    • Dr. Dubz

      Use pixlr. It’s free online.

      • Scrimm

        Thanks Doc.

    • paint.net, pixlr, gimp, and picasa all do good jobs. They all are free.

  • Dagon

    I suck at this. But join me in my quest to liberate Vrangsinn from the claws of posers and scene kids.

    • Dagon

      I forgot to add CentaurMole holding Axl’s head on a platter. But then again, that image is so glorious it shouldn’t be tampered with.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Poor, poor Vrangsinn’s heart

      • Dagon

        He is suck a good kid.

  • Scrimm

    I give up I’m too bad at this.

  • Dagon
  • Dr. Dubz

    I call this “The Rites of the Marker in Spring.”

    • Dr. Dubz

      @joshuathackston:disqus, I had you and Mssr. Bauer in mind with this one.

      • Scrimm

        Nice, you got my nod.

    • You’re right, I SHOULD play dead space, what a great idea!

      • Scrimm

        Think I’ll join you. Trying to finish The Evil WIthin is driving me insane.

        • I haven’t gotten very far in it, I’m just not feeling it. There isn’t anything that makes me want to progress.

          • Scrimm

            It has some great parts. some not so much, and some that make dark souls seem easy but I like it still. It picks up after the first third.

          • I got to the box head dude. Also dark souls is easy 😉

          • Scrimm

            That fucker shows up a few more times, just had a nasty run in with him and realized after if I had just hid and waited I wouldn’t have even had to face him. I agree mostly about Dark Souls now, but found it infuriating when I first got it. Also loving Dying Light.

          • DARKBEARD

            Forgive him, lawd, for he knows not what he says.

          • Lol I love dark souls but I don’t find it hard, at least not till ng+ or the dlc. A few bosses tick me off though

          • Enemy Of The Free World

            Darl Souls isn’t traditionally hard. You don’t need to get good to pass it, you just need to try.

          • JamesGrimm

            It has no soul and is a retread.

    • FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR MARKER!

  • ..

    • Dagon

      That’s depressing, bruh. I’m having trouble drying my face because my tears are also crying little mini tears. I can’t stop. This is sad.

    • This is the DSBM version of photo chop.

      • Maik Beninton

        I thought the same thing.

        • Maybe Ambient dsbm actually because sunrays

    • DARKBEARD

      Joe wins.

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      Damnit Joe, this still depresses me.

    • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

      The only way this could be better is if Seth Rollins was curb stomping Bambi. He probably would do that as he’s an evil man.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      HUZZAH! I mean… huzzah

  • For the win

    • Dagon

      Moe is the worst offender. God damn it his rapping is fucking awful. Better yet, put some quotes in there, fuck his “rapping”. Stupid dude.

      • Quite possibly the biggest pile of excrement playing music.

        • Dagon

          I’m still offended by the Attila song someone put on the Metalcore Whiff O’ The Week

    • Maik Beninton

      Who are they?
      Is Moe Fronz from Attila?

      • From left to right – Frankie Palmerie, Emmure, Chris Fronz or whatever that dildo calls himself, Attila and Phil Labonte from All That Remains.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Fronz = all that is wrong in the world

      • Stanley

        I like your style. I’m so kvlt, I don’t know who any of these halfwits are.

        • Lacertilian

          I didn’t recognise any of them which made sense because when I got to @Ron_Deuce:disqus ‘s comment below describing who they are.
          Only know what Phil Labonte looks like (from watching a Sounds Of The Underground DVD years ago) but I don’t think that pic really looks like the image I had in my memory.
          Get way too pissed off if I continued to take notice of things I dislike. I don’t know how you guys do it!
          I don’t think I’m kvlt, just old I guess.

          • Stanley

            I’m just messing. I have no clue who they are either. I do know who Phil Laborite is though, but I didn’t recognize him in the picture. I’m old too! Older than you, even.

          • Lacertilian

            Faith in Stanley has been restored.

    • Kim Jong Un’s Supreme Mankini

      Thread closed, we already have a winner!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Now if only I could slap them all across the face at once. And by slap, I mean shoot.

  • The black metal convention is in town:

    • CyberneticOrganism

      … Satan. Love it.

  • JamesGrimm

    this site is slowly turning into last fm…..

    • God ov All

      They have photoshop competitions on last.fm?

      • JamesGrimm

        similar and worse.

        • Maik Beninton

          Really?
          Can you share one?

          • JamesGrimm

            I stoped going there years ago.

    • Maik Beninton

      How so?

      • JamesGrimm

        Various posts, personalitys and such.

        • Maik Beninton

          I don’t visit Last.fm so I just think it’s website to share and stream music.

          • JamesGrimm

            I wish it was.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          I will try my hardest to remove all traces of personality in the future

          • JamesGrimm

            Thank god.

    • EsusMoose

      I only use last.fm as an archive so I don’t know its community at all.Secondly, personalities come through a lot more on the non-metal articles which I enjoy but for those who just want a deluge of metal it’s probably unwanted noise.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        There are no other communities. TOH is love. TOH is life.

    • DARKBEARD

      i dont see how this is true

    • Based Tapir

      I hope that this site will turn into pornhub 🙂

      • DARKBEARD

        pics or it didn’t happen

        • Based Tapir

          • DARKBEARD

            Which one of us is which?

      • Guacamole Jim

        Come to Canada and we can make this dream a reality.

        • Based Tapir

          I actually want to visit Canada one day. I have some relatives there, but I don’t know them.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Whereabouts in Canada are they? There are some awesome places here, but they’re all in Alberta and BC.

          • Based Tapir

            The only thing I know is that I have some relaitves there. I know not who theybare. My grandfather’s uncle moved there after continuation war and had a family there.

          • Guacamole Jim

            There is a chance we may be related….

          • Based Tapir

            Cousin Jim!

    • lol

    • JVVG

      My last and only photoshop contest experience was Cracked.

      Except they typically only award graphic-designer level skills, and include bad shops only so their community of nerds can laugh at them and act superior.

      • EsusMoose

        Crack went down hill faster than a very large and spherical rock would on a greased hill. They had humor and wit, then transitioned to a message heavy clickbait site.

        • Dagon

          Nailed it. Fuck current Cracked. Needs more fucking Seanbaby.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        The point of this photoshop content is to suck. Through the suck, talent ov suck will rise to the top.

    • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))

      Nah, it doesn’t constantly redirect to my Spotify account.

  • vncle killvps

    we heart tay tay

    • SO GOOD

      • DARKBEARD

        I changed my mind

    • CyberneticOrganism

      I love this.

  • Guacamole Jim

    I hope I’m not too late.

    • Guacamole Jim

      Fuck disqus; don’t vote for this one. I’m going to repost my picture. Go vote for that one.

      • Maik Beninton

        I find it weird that when you delete a comment it doesn’t disappear, It just appear as a guest comment.

        • Inducing… The Sheeple

          I think Disqus gets off on preserving people’s mistakes for eternity…

  • Guacamole Jim

    Trying this again, because Disqus sucks. VOTE FOR ME.

    • Dr. Dubz

      Desktop background.

    • Dagon

      Damn homie you win

    • J.R.

      I FEEL AT PEACE AND ALSO DISGUSTED

    • CyberneticOrganism

      … and there was much rejoicing. “yaaaay”

  • Ted Nü-Djent ™

    “No more worrying about trying to whip up an entry at work”. Unless you’re from the future
    *frowny face*

  • pïgchop™

    Still good for a couple o’ laffs!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Flagged for batman peen

  • Inducing… The Sheeple

    • CyberneticOrganism

      YES

  • a) great idea moving this to Sunday
    2) the article’s header image wins this one.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      There are several variations on that office with different people. It must be a crowded office.