Photo Chop: 5th Edition

Share:

Congratulations (ov hell!) to George Lynch for dominating the 4th Edition of Photo Chop with his peerless pixel manipulation of the typical FFDP fan in his natural environment: upside down, ignoring women and guzzling Natty Ice.

WINNER_GL

GL, be sure to get in touch with Papa Joe for your glorious prize pack (prize pack does not include KFC pictured in header)! [Joe Note: I owe you TWO caption contest prizes. I’ll put ’em in the mail this week. Srs]

This time, it’s back to work. Let’s get some shit done, dammit. No more frittering away the day wasting time on Hellz Toiletz or whatever the hell this place is called. Get your ass in that conference room and let’s see what you’ve been working on these last two weeks. I’d better see some serious progress or you’re going back on that 90-day performance plan, buddy… stop crying it’s not that bad. Look, just have your latest draft sent over to me via email by 5PM… actually you’d better put it on the SharePoint site since my Outlook inbox has a thousand unread messages. Do you have SharePoint access? You should have set that up on day one.

Fine, just call Tim at the help desk and tell him I said to make this a priority. Let me know when you finish this. Do you also have the accompanying appendices for your presentation? You don’t?! What were you working on all day Thursday?! Karen from Southeast Marketing is depending on those appendices for her new recruits… okay you’d better get going, then. You’ve got your work cut out for ya, huh? *sighs, shakes head disapprovingly*

The rules:

  • Keep it clean & safe for work
  • Be creative & use whatever tools you want; “talent” or “skill” is not required
  • Post your entry in a new Disqus comment below
  • Entries will be judged on the number of upvotes they receive
  • The winner will be announced in the following week’s edition and will win a CD of Buckshot Facelift‘s Living Ghosts of the Northern Shore!

This edition’s image:

great-business-meeting-and-presentation_700

Click to embiggen (via)

Be sure to call me on my cell if you need any alignment on your action items, but only in the next 45 minutes cuz then I’m leaving for the day. Just because. Because I can. And you can’t.

  • You made my soul hurt real bad with this writeup, Robot.

    • Hellz Toiletz >>>>>

    • CyberneticOrganism

      That was manager language for important manager people stuff. If you’re not aligned to our corporate synergy, perhaps you need to speak to HR.

    • He should write the screenplay for Office Space pt. 2.

  • Watch out watch out watch out!

  • Tyreeling In The Years
    • Enemy Of The Free World

      Master>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • God ov All

    <3

  • No idea. I’m tired.

  • ….Satan

    • CyberneticOrganism

      … Chicken.

  • Stockhausen

    It kills me that I can’t join in on this at the moment. I think Masterlord takes it though.

    • i think @george_lynch:disqus just beat him.

      • Stockhausen

        It was really good, I would see both on the throne.

    • Me neither, can’t photoshop on an ipod touch. I will do one tonight that will be buried at the bottom of this thread.

      • Stockhausen

        We’ll have a pajama party tonight and I’ll vote for you.

        • Cool, we’ll scour the bowels of the internet for upvotes.

  • Guacamole Jim

    MUST.. NOT… DRAW… PENIS

    • Scrimm

      I keep thinking of that too. Trying, but I got nothing else.

    • It is tempting given the source material.

    • God ov All

      hehe

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Never not funny

    • Supreme Chief Poopypanties
  • Guacamole Jim

    I COULDN’T RESIST DICKBUTT 4 LYFE

    • CyberneticOrganism

      lol(dick)buttz!

  • Tyreeling In The Years

    Dumb.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Too extreme!

    • I loathe his soul patch more and more with each Photo Chop battle.

      • Tyreeling In The Years

        “That’s a game changer Bro”

        Quote by David Vincent.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          “Let’s grab some wings at BDubs, Trey.”

          – David Vincent

          • “…So I gave her the EVIL D, NAWWUTIMSAYIN”
            – David Vincent

          • CyberneticOrganism

            “Illud Divinum Insanus is totally fucking awesome and not at all shitty!”

            – David Vincent

          • Tyreeling In The Years

            “Not now Bro, I’m in the fucking zone”

            – David Vincent

          • David Vincent’s Spandex Shirt

            “Stab your pin number!”-David while working at CircleK when Morbid Angel’s not on tour.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            “Stab here for debit, sir.”

            – David Vincent (New Employee!)

      • CyberneticOrganism

        He’s got a “Trent Reznor’s look in the Perfect Drug video” thing going on there, only much more shitty

  • Speaking of Buckshot Facelift, want a copy of Elder Rasp on vinyl? I know someone else will appreciate it more than me.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Uh, I’ll take it!

      • Excellent! Are you in the FB group, we can get the details sorted out there.

  • (refresh for image)

    • Enemy Of The Free World

      Late to tha game, Mcsolloway

  • Herr Schmitty

    One of my very best friends on the planet recently confided that he has really come to love Five Finger Death Punch. My friend is a professional MMA fighter, and was apparently quite impressed that Zoltan (the guitarist) was an Abu Dhabi Submission Championships-level fighter. This information… is somehow accurate.

    They’re a goddamned awful lolbuttz-level band, but fuck, their guitarist *actually* possesses some legitimate ace-level skills! He won a fucking silver medal at Abu Dhabi! Why the fuck does he play those shitty songs when he’s nothing short of a monster as a fighter? Up is down. Black is white. Help me make sense of the world!

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      *but fuck*

    • Scrimm

      Because making money playing guitar>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> making money getting punched in the face.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        He has a dumb face and awful taste in music either way.

      • Herr Schmitty

        I dunno man, I think I’d legit rather get punched in the face!

        • more beer

          At least getting punched in the face you keep your self respect.

          • Herr Schmitty

            That is exactly the logic I’m using here, too. Like, if I lose a fistfight, I still get to keep my dignity.

          • more beer

            That`s right. There is no dignity in being in that band and dressing that way.

        • Scrimm

          On second thought you might be right.

      • more beer

        I don`t know about that. Carl the the Truth Williams used to run on a golf course I worked on. So we would talk from time to time. He fought Mike Tyson in his heyday. Tyson knocked him out in like 36 seconds or something like that. 5 million dollar payday for 36 seconds is pretty good money. But on the other hand he said getting hit by Tyson back then was like getting hit by truck.

        • Scrimm

          I’d do it for a lot less than 5 mil

          • more beer

            That`s why you get a manager to negotiate it. You need to get the most compensation possible for that kind of beating.

          • Supreme Chief Poopypanties

            Yeah, but look at how Don King robbed Tyson blind back in the day!

          • more beer

            But Don King would have been Tyson’s Manager not his.

        • Supreme Chief Poopypanties
          • more beer

            hahaha!!!!!!

    • They aren’t bad really, they just make really good formulaic soulless workout music with the occasional heinous ballad; which in and of itself is bad. I feel like if they tried to, they could probably make really good music but they won’t because simpleton tunes like under and over it sell.

    • sadly, he’s probably a gud guitar player too… just that noone will ever know it.

      • more beer

        Nope that ship has sailed.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    five finger death punch–are so “cooperative” with the msm–in a time when the average person—like really hates the fuck out of it—

    so it would be real natural—to resent them—and see them as an extension-of all the post 911 bullshit–
    also their music has a sort of pre meditated “pop element”—

    sometimes in life–it is the right time—to hate :”the system”—and the cliches–of what is supposed to be “the right thing”—

    here’s a video of the emperor from star wars —trying to do the “right thing”—and get a job
    1st vid–full vol
    2nd vid–50%vol
    both at once
    —-
    http://youtu.be/aKWVCv8uWDI

    http://youtu.be/jVf4_WglzWA

  • Rho Stone

    this one goes out to the crew

  • i tried

    I hope I win

    • CyberneticOrganism

      The Sound Of Conference Calls

    • MoshOff

      Holy balls, this is great and needs more upvotes.

  • Chief Poopypanties (KJU)

    Got the Drew Stone interview up and done, and sent it over. 😀

  • In The I… I…Irony Scoffed

    A poor effort, but no one will see it…

  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    It’s simple. It’s stupid. It won’t beat the Masterlord.