Photo Chop: 2nd Edition

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Congratulations ov hell to Stockhausen for taking the 1st Edition of Photo Chop with his upvote-stealing masterburgerwork:

WINNER_Stockhausen_small

Nicely done, dead musician. Think you can repeat your success?

This week, since the weather is shit and we all want to hasten our descent into the void as quickly and as painfully as possible, let’s go more solitary and get all, like, introspective and stuff, dude. Kinda like how I’ll take pictures of old tractor tires in farm fields because I feel it, y’know, inspires me lyrically… like, maybe I’m the one who’s been abandoned… in the field of life, right? And maybe the tire is actually the one who has it, like… figured out, man. Oh no wait the tire I’m remembering had a bunch of turds inside it, nevermind.

The rules:

  • Keep it clean & safe for work: no nudity, gore or racism
  • Be creative & use whatever tools you want; “talent” or “skill” is not required
  • Post your entry in a new Disqus comment below
  • Entries will be judged on the number of upvotes they receive
  • The winner will be announced in the following week’s edition and will win a copy of Cripple Bastards’ Nero Metastasi

 

This week’s image:

2ndedition_picture_small

Click to embiggen (via)

… … aaaaaand … … GO.

  • Firstly does it again!

    …whoops, wrong account.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      BUSTED!

      • You’re right, I SHOULD play gta

        • So bored with GTA V at the mo. Needs DLC (offline storymode IMO.)

          • That’s apparently in the works actually 🙂

          • Nice! I hate online-play and thought they were basically going to put all their efforts into that.

            I tried online and not fun cuz people are cocks. Can’t even bang a hooker without some oxygen thief coming along with the chopper and picking up my car and flying me around the city for fifteen minutes of my lifetime.

          • I totally agree, fucking hate gta online. However, I can spend hours rampaging in single player or just fucking with NPC’s. I’m easily amused when it comes to gta lol.

          • NefariousDude

            Love flipping npcs off in that game until they road rage. Guy drove into a median and blew himself up once because of that. I may have pissed my pants

          • lol I had the same thing except it was a bus and it drove into gas pumps and blew up the gas station. Also, stealing a firetruck makes you nearly indestructible.

          • NefariousDude

            Note to self: commandeer fire truck

        • Death

          Jack, you have played Inquisition, right? I was just wondering if you took the Iron Bull by the horns, if you know what I mean.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Since the Steam Sale is on now I have to buy that as well as Civilization V and the Killing Floor DLC I am missing.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Take the Civ V package with all the DLC right away. It’s only half the game without them.

          • VVorld Peace

            Hey, wanna play Civ V sometime?

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Sure, never multiplayered any Civ, but sure.

          • VVorld Peace

            It will probably be a while from now. I’m leaving town tomorrow and have a ton of things to accomplish at the beginning of January.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Do you have Steam? If so you should start buying the sale stuff.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            I’ve been looking at a few deals. Though many of the deals (most) last until feb 2, it’s just the grand sale that lasts 75h.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            As soon as I buy it I shall. Are you on Steam?

          • VVorld Peace

            I am indeed, but I haven’t logged on in a long time. Adult life <<<<<<

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            It’s a daily deal for the next 46 hours at 75 percent off. I’ll buy it ASAP.

          • VVorld Peace

            Definitely do so.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Is Civ V good? I’ve heard some good stuff, and was thinking about getting it… but you know. Money.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Very good. If you dig strategy. Only that it kind of does require the DLC before it really becomes the game it should be. But I bet the whole package is on sale now.

          • I still play inquisition, I have a disgusting amount of hours in it and I haven’t even scratched the surface. My female inquisitor banged Sera if that’s what you’re asking lol.

          • Sera is fucking annoying and my male Inquisitor banged Freddie Prinze Jr. as Iron Bull.

          • I think Sera is hilarious lol. She’s also the only one who you don’t have to almost sexually harass to get with.

          • Death

            Dorian >>>>>>>>

          • Death

            I’m quite enjoying it as well. I need to level up more so I can take down more dragons. 7 more to go.

          • I took my first one down yesterday, the one in the hinterlands.

          • Death

            That was my first one as well. I just took down the one in The Western Approach. I also took down one in Crestwood today.

          • They’re great fights. I’ve taken down five at this point. Always a nice challenge. I just wish that they would drop something other than a fucking dagger as I don’t normally run with anyone who uses one.

          • Death

            I play as a dwarf assassin, but those daggers are weak compared to my crafted ones. The last one dropped around 200 dps dagger, but I had one that does over 400 dps.

          • My next play through of the Dragon Age series, I plan to do a dwarf run. I also need to do a mage run. I play a human (I’m so boring) warrior.

          • Death

            I have two saves. The other one I started before and I play as a qunari rift mage. Knight-Enchanter can solo dragons, but it’s quite boring because it’s op.

          • I’m 56 hours in and I’ve not touched a huge amount of the story. I just cleared the Exalted Plains and am about to hit up the Emerald Graves (or whatever they’re called).

          • I got it for xmas, should be starting it soon. Pretty stoked.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            It’s a good game. Don’t become knight-enchanter unless you want to be op as fuck.

          • Will avoid, thanks. I haven’t played all of origins or DA2, is there a lot of shit I need to catch up on ahead of time?

          • Metaphysical Anus

            You can play it and enjoy it without fully playing them. I have not played da2 and I enjoyed this one. There are a lot of characters from bith games.

  • This is all I’ve got.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      poop is never not funny

    • BLVKKBEVRD, PVRPLE WYZDOOM

      this made me lollbutzz

    • Tyree
    • Scrimm

      The simplicity makes it perfect. Upvote.

    • Mother Shabubu III

      It’s the sheer minimalism of this ‘shop that speaks to me.

  • I feel like this image is related to a metalcore something or other

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Though not metalcore-related, it did make me thing of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SF07zxczzI

      • I’m still trying to decide which of the older aborted albums to keep on the playlist, some of them are rather generic, but so far i have their two most recent ones and slaughter and apparatus.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          Isn’t that, like, all Aborted albums?

          • BLVKKBEVRD, PVRPLE WYZDOOM

            Snap

          • old_man_doom

            I could say that I come here every day for the awesome content and the lolbuttz, but I’d be lying. No, I come here for your ridiculous name changes. Keep it up, pirate.

          • BLVKKBEVRD, PVRPLE WYZDOOM

            You’re welcome. I’ll try not to disappoint.

          • I like their two most recent albums a lot, but yea lol.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Necrotic Manifesto was half-meh and the one before I liked. I haven’t dug too deep on the backcatalog, but from what I’ve heard, it ain’t that miraculous.

          • Howard Dean

            Global Flatline > Nectrotic Manifesto

            Overall, Aborted = pretty meh

  • Tyree

    Well, I can’t do anything with this right now so here is this instead.

    http://awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/kim-kardashian-getting-dumped-into-a-shark.gif

    • CyberneticOrganism

      funny or SHARK

    • Howard Dean

      Those Mortal Kombat games are getting misogynistic.

  • Here’s mine.

    • horrifying

    • Kill me.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      GAAAAHH

    • NefariousDude

      My fucking favorite so far

    • I don’t get it…

      • It’s a furry crawling towards you. Possibly looking to smuggle some nuts just in time for winter…

  • Mr.CustodialArts

    “Keep it clean and safe for work.” Yeah, you know, cuz our bosses don’t frown upon our toilet frolic otherwise. “Better not be no tittays in that there toilet bloggy thingy.”

  • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

    Going to the record store today and I want to buy an Enslaved and a Dying Fetus record. I know very little about each band so which albums are recommended?

    • Howard Dean

      Enslaved: Anything really, though I recommend Eld, Below the Lights, Isa, and Axioma Ethica Odini.

      Dying Fetus: Destroy the Opposition is the best album they’ve ever made. Stop at Nothing and Reign Supreme are also really solid.

      • Or Destroy the Opposition.

      • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

        With Enslaved I think I may pick based on the album cover.

        • Howard Dean

          You’ll likely end up with Eld, then, as that has the coolest cover. It’s just bassist/vocalist Grutle sitting on a throne:

          http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/12/Enslaved_eld.jpg

          • What a majestic son of a bitch.

          • It looks like you.

          • This is the greatest compliment I have ever received…

          • VVorld Peace

            He has a little more facial hair, but I can see the resemblance.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            I like Isa the most. It really intrigues me

          • Howard Dean

            Isa is probably all around my favorite Enslaved album. I like every era of the band, but that middle era is choice. I also like Blodhemn quite a bit. That was still a bit rawer and more Viking-themed.

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            I’m so excited now. I keep hearing great things about Enslaved. And I always hear people say Dying Fetus is insanely heavy!

          • Howard Dean

            Dying Fetus is often classified as “proto-slam.” They are heavy in that they incorporate lots of slamming riffs and mosh riffs. It’s like beatdown death metal, similar to Skinless. John Gallagher (the lead guitarist/bandleader who splits vocals with the bassist) also has an insanely low death growl.

          • VVorld Peace
          • You know nothing gets heavier than this:
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=947WADZbohQ

          • VVorld Peace

            Let’s open up the pit.

          • Howard Dean
          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            This is the only Dying Fetus album that was availible. Holy crap it’s heavy

          • VVorld Peace

            I’m glad you dig!

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            Their heaviness is quite mind blowing

          • Stan Laurel

            Pick one. You can’t go wrong. There’s gems to be found on all of them. Isa does have my favorite Enslaved song though – Return To Yggdrasill. Absolutely magical!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKxSYzx8_Ko&list=RDvKxSYzx8_Ko&spfreload=10

          • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

            This is the one I bought! Terrific album so far!

          • Howard Dean

            That’s my favorite Enslaved song, also. Amazing. I’m pretty partial to Roots of the Mountain off of Riitiir and the title track off of Eld, too.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            That’s one field where Enslaved hasn’t excelled so well.

          • Howard Dean

            I agree. I don’t like most of their album covers–exceptions being the Yggdrasill demo, Vikinglr Veldi, Frost, and Eld.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Funny too, ’cause Black and Prog – the two main ingredients, arguably – often have great covers. Guess they just haven’t wanted to work with anyone from the scene.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Nnope

    • you might not need the whole album RIITIIR, but definitely youtube “Veilburner” and “Roots of the Mountain”

      • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

        I go buy records pretty frequently and I’m sure I’ll be buying more Enslaved. Finished the Isa album and LOVED it!

  • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

    “Going to see Emmure live…. Wish me luck”

  • Howard Dean

    I don’t know how to photoshop.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Suddenly… MUSTAINE

    • Old Man Hetfield

      I being getting that feeling a lot lately.

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan

    Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to George Lynch Land

    • Are you implying I deserve my own theme park? and that this image is you walking into that glorious-ness?!!!

      If not, I am thoroughly confused, lol

      GL

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        That is exactly what I am implying.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Does he have an axe?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Yes, if that’s what you call a guitar.

          • This is the only trve response.

            GL

  • I went back in time and turned my submission into a Falconer album’s artwork, totally me http://www.metalblade.com/us/covers/Falconer-Northwind.jpg

  • NefariousDude

    Idk how 2 photochop <3 here's my upvotes

    • Guacamole Jim

      MSpaint FTW!!

  • Guacamole Jim

    I call this particular piece “For Love”

  • VVorld Peace

    Shun the false prophet.

    • JWG

      It appears, actually, that you’re slightly off-centaur.

      • Howard Dean

        Holy shit does Don Dokken look rough.

        • His voice is three times as bad as his looks.

          #STAYLYNCHMOB

          GL

        • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

          Looks like father times been knockin up on Don Dokken!

        • PrivateTwitterIsKvlt

          At first I thought it was Matt Pike, but then I noticed the shirt.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        He looks like he’s high on meth.

        • He looks like the creepy uncle who’s not allowed at the family reunions anymore.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Uncle Touchy’s Naked Puzzle Basement

        • Lacertilian

          to me he looks nigh on deth

  • Tyree

  • everyone come back and vote tomorrow… we don’t all have photochop at work 🙁

  • JWG

    Don’t have the patience to fix the edges:

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      haha

  • Sir_William_Whalus

    I wanted to get in on this competition but couldn’t fit through the gate…

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      Awwwwwwww. That whale is as adorable as your name.

  • Tolo

    Krampus is coming. Prepare yourselves.

    • ok

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Niiiice

    • OldMetalHead

      Awesome. How did you get the graffiti to lie on the wall correctly with perspective? The one on the right looks kind of Banksy.

      • Tolo

        If you use the Perspective tool in Photoshop, it’ll let you adjust the angle that the image appears, it’s a pretty sweet tool.

  • George Clarke

    “embiggen” is a silly word

    • CyberneticOrganism

      It’s perfectly cromulent.

      • George Clarke

        i acquiesce

  • one last Void joke…

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Goin’ down the only void I’ve ever known…

    • Death

      What’s with those ugly flags? What kind of country would choose them?

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Greece

  • CT-12

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Ha ha ha we’d say no

      • Death

        Desperate times need desperate measures.

    • Jointsalot

      Hahaha this one is gold

      • CT-12

        Thank you kindly sir

  • Mother Shabubu III

    “Click to embiggen”

    What a cromulent image!

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Snuh!

  • Jöhnny Crünch ™

    I have no chance so here’s my lazy arse effort

  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    OMG, I wasted way too much time on this, being a shop-noob and all.

  • …Ellipsis…
    • CyberneticOrganism

      *Axl is finally fired from the MS mansion, walks home*

  • OldMetalHead

    Sorry for hurting your eyes. I know it’s not a proper photo shop, but this is what the shape reminded me of.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      NOM NOM