Photo Chop: 19th Edition

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Kudos to all of you on your especially well-executed 18th Edition entries. Let’s clear away the bloody detritus and see who made it to the top of the choppin’ pile.

A round of applause for Óðinn and his suicidal chicken tendies. Óðinn, get in touch with me to claim your custom voicemail greeting or other audio randomness.

18thEditionWinner$4.99 lunch special (pepe $2 extra)

A slightly smaller round of applause for Spear and his horrific, furry Sólstafur:

18thEditionSolstafur_700Masterpiece of Yifferness

And a smaller round of applause still for Tolo and his (her?) also furry but much less disturbing Barkthrone:

18thEditionBarkthroneTransylvanian Chew Toy

Your assignment for this edition is to engineer your own guitar face. You can do this by either A) finding a normal picture of your favorite musician and distorting, twisting & mangling their facial bits around as needed, or B) take a picture of yourself distorting, twisting & mangling your own face as much as possible. Extra points if you can integrate a stage pose and/or instruments.

guitarfacecomp700Like this but with less DMB and Mayer, because fuck those guys

 The rules:

  • Keep it safe for work
  • Be creative and use whatever tools you want; “talent” or “skill” is not required
  • Post your entry in a new Disqus comment below
  • Entries will be judged on the number of upvotes they receive
  • The winner will be announced in the next edition and can request a custom audio thingy

(header img via)

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  • KJM, Doom Hunter General

    Is the guy in the upper right corner Randy Jackson of Zebra or am I way off?

    • Count_Breznak

      Dunno, but the one in the upper middle is Steven Segal with about 50 kg less.

    • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

      I don’t know.

      • KJM, Doom Hunter General

        I can’t find that pic on Google, but it does look much the same as Randy Jackson does now.

        • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

          It might be him. I do like Zebra so it would be nice if that was him.

          • KJM, Doom Hunter General

            I saw them in 1988 in Boston at a club called Bunratty’s that doesn’t exist anymore. It was a great show and they did Zeppelin’s ‘The Ocean’ as an encore.

  • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

    So I was at a music festival yesterday and Hot Tuna played. Holy mother of fuck were they amazing. Jorma is the best living white blues guitarist.

    • EsusMoose

      Like always, who?

      • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

        They’re an offshoot of Jefferson Airplane

      • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

        C’mon, even I could have told you it was the (semi-)acoustic project of Jefferson Airplanes’ Finnishly-named guy.

        • Based Pingu

          First time I heard his name, I thought he was a real Finn.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            Me too.

        • EsusMoose

          probably cause it sounds finnish.

    • more beer

      Did they roll him out in a wheelchair? That guy has got to be like 100.

      • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

        No. Jack looked like he was 200 though.

      • KJM, Doom Hunter General

        As long as he doesn’t have major Arthritis in his hands, it’s all good.

        • more beer

          Yea I know. I was just giving JJD shit.

          • KJM, Doom Hunter General

            You’re right, of course. He is quite old.

          • more beer

            He was old when I was in high school.

    • KJM, Doom Hunter General

      Excellent, co-signed on Jorma. He’s very underrated.

      • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

        He was so good. The ground literally vibrated while they played.

    • Based Pingu

      Fun fact: Jorma is a normal name in Finland, but also slang for penis.

      • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

        I did not know that.

      • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

        Like “Dick” in Murica

        • Based Pingu

          Pretty much.

        • more beer

          Kind of like Richard here.

        • Poopypanty’s Hulk Poop Salsa

          Notice that people who call themselves that instead of Richard deserve the name? You’d think Colon Powell would change his first name by now.

  • Matt Damon

    MATT DAMON

  • Dancin’ XXX Jock Strap Toe Jam

    No love for Dejoe?

    • Óðinn

      I love Dejoe, KJU. We are not men, we are Dejoe.

      • Dancin’ XXX Jock Strap Toe Jam

        That’s your Freedom Of Choice.

        • Óðinn
          • KJM, Doom Hunter General

            It was fun. Now I’m fully up to speed for when Agents Of SHIELD starts again on Tuesday.

          • Óðinn

            I’m glad Agents of SHIELD is coming back.

          • KJM, Doom Hunter General

            Among other things, it will fill the TV void created when The Strain ends next week.

          • Óðinn

            True. I like The Strain too.

          • KJM, Doom Hunter General

            David Bradley is becoming an invaluable actor in the world of fantasy TV/Moives. He’s been Abe Setrakian, Walder Frey, Filch, and The Doctor(sort of).

          • Óðinn

            You’re right. He was in Broadchurch as well, although it’s not Sci-fi/Fantasy.

          • Poopypanty’s Hulk Poop Salsa

            I lost track of TV shows a while back. Last ones I remember keeping up with were Aguila Roja, Wallander, and Varg Veum. Varg Veum is fucking amazing!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d4jik_XbTM

          • KJM, Doom Hunter General

            I have my handful of shows that I watch, all sci-fi, horror, cartoons, with the occasional foray into Pro Wrestling.

          • Poopypanty’s Hulk Poop Salsa

            Dunno if you’re up for reading subtitles, but check out the Varg Veum vid.

          • Poopypanty’s Hulk Poop Salsa

            I lost track of the show after the 3rd episode. I’m guessing it got better?

          • Dancin’ XXX Jock Strap Toe Jam

            I have zero idea what to watch on these two days off. Got a link where I can stream The Wire?

          • KJM, Doom Hunter General

            I don’t think so. That other site didn’t seem to work for you.

          • Guppusmaximus
          • Dancin’ XXX Jock Strap Toe Jam

            I haven’t even watched the first Avengers. Kevin Spade is an excellent actor, but when I saw the trailer, Ultron sounded like an overly gay art professor. I thought he’d sound more like Nivek Oger (Skinny Puppy).

          • Óðinn
          • Dancin’ XXX Jock Strap Toe Jam

            The Hulk shits guacamole?

          • Óðinn
          • Poopypanty’s Hulk Poop Salsa

            Guacamole Jim unavailable for comment. (BTW, using that as my new Disqus handle, lol)

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Age of Ultron looks fucking awful. GTFO of here with that cartoon robot lip bullshit.

          • Óðinn

            ~~~

          • Poopypanty’s Heroic Boogers

            This is what Ultron’s voice should’ve sounded like:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTHXdwbof7s

    • Óðinn
      • KJM, Doom Hunter General

        Cotton Ball Man, you are NOT the father!!!

      • Dancin’ XXX Jock Strap Toe Jam

        If I were a carrot, I’d be God.

        #let’sletthisthreadbeasrandomas possible

      • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

        I have a extreme fear of lemon meringue pie. The reason for that is I had a terrible nightmare about it coming to life and killing everyone. I can’t even look at it.

        • KJM, Doom Hunter General

          The Lemon Meringue Monster!

          • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

            It still scares me.

          • KJM, Doom Hunter General

            Wait a minute! That’s not really a Boston Cream! AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!! -SPLAT-

          • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

            NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

        • more beer

          I find it hard to believe that anything that has to do with food scares you.

          • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

            You have no idea. It was the worst nightmare I ever had. Not even the nightmare I had where I went to a steakhouse that stole my soul was that bad.

          • more beer

            So you don`t eat steak and baked potatoes either?

          • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

            No, I still eat steak. The food didn’t steal my soul in that case. The reason the steakhouse stole my soul was because there was a curse placed on it where anyone who entered that place was going to have their soul trapped there forever. The only way I got my soul back was by burning down the steakhouse with help from some random waitress whose soul was also trapped there. Once we got our souls back we discovered that everyone had disappeared into thin air. The ending was me and the random waitress finding a mansion to live in.

          • more beer

            That is some dream. The only thing that ever stole my soul in a dream was Satan!

          • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

            I have weird dreams.

          • more beer

            Yes you do.

          • KJM, Doom Hunter General

            Co-signed.

          • Dancin’ XXX Jock Strap Toe Jam

            I’ll try any kind of food once. About a year ago, I ate canned silkworms, for fuck’s sake. Only food I’d have any fear of is puffer fish, but then again the fact that you can die from eating that tends to have that effect.

          • Waynecro

            Have you tried balut? Shit’s nasty, bro. Of course, I don’t like duck to begin with, so I was highly unlikely to enjoy balut. The smell and texture did me in.

          • Poopypanty’s Hulk Poop Salsa

            Yes, I have! Ever tried lutefisk? Pingu might know about this.

          • Waynecro

            I’m familiar with lutefisk, but I’ve never actually eaten it. Honestly, I don’t like anything that tastes fishy. I only eat, like, three or four kinds of fish. I don’t even like lobster. Dude, you know what would make a pretty decent band name? LuteFist. Heh.

        • Dancin’ XXX Jock Strap Toe Jam
    • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

      Winner winner chicken dinner.

  • pïgchop™

    For your best performance…

  • Óðinn

    ~~~

  • KJM, Doom Hunter General

    Gonna start a Doom/Stoner/Sludge band called Super Blood Moon.

    • Óðinn

      ~~~

      • KJM, Doom Hunter General

        Awesome!

      • more beer

        I am going to drink a fine marijuana product and watch this tonight.

        • KJM, Doom Hunter General

          I guess we don’t get blood moon until tomorrow night.

          • more beer

            There? They are saying tonight here. From what I read it should be best on the east coast. Unless it is cloudy. It starts at ^;10 here but it should start at about 8:10 there.

          • KJM, Doom Hunter General

            My mistake, I guess we get it at about 1030 or so.

          • more beer

            Did you watch that. I had a clear view from my back porch it was pretty incredible. There was a little bit of clouds which made it look even more evil.

          • KJM, Doom Hunter General

            It was more of an amber moon and it was normal size here, but it still looked pretty cool.

          • more beer

            It was a full eclipse here. saw the whole moon go dark.

          • KJM, Doom Hunter General

            It went fully dark, then turned a sort of amber with a slight hint of red.

          • more beer

            Here it was already amber and I could see it just get smaller and smaller. It was pretty cool.

  • Óðinn

    ~~~

  • Óðinn

    ~~~

    • more beer

      This guy has one big fucking head. I am not talking about his ego either.

  • Óðinn
  • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

    For all you Bears fans I am so sorry for your loss.

  • CyberneticOrganism
    • Óðinn

      Sorry, CyberneticOrganism

      I can do a few more if it helps.

  • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

    Why does everyone only remember the first Montrose album? It may be one of the best debuts ever but their album Warner Brothers Presents Montrose blows it away. The singer may not be Sammy Hagar but he sure as hell was able to replace him. This song off that album is among my favorites.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY8tCKXe4VU

  • Óðinn
    • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

      Yeah.

      • Óðinn

        That’s what I thought. Me too.

  • Óðinn
    • KJM, Doom Hunter General

      If the mugs had Guinness or Samuel Smith, this would be perfect.

      • Óðinn

        That’s a fair comment, KJM.

  • Óðinn
  • Óðinn
    • Count_Breznak

      She is desperately trying to keep smiling while her frail arm is about to collapse under the weight of one lone beer.

  • JJD Misses Witch Ripper

    Why do women like Dave Matthews Band and stuff like that so much? I do love his song Crash Into Me but I can’t stand the rest of his output.

    • i love DMB’s first three albums.
      #ToiletConfessions #OffTopic

      • KJM, Doom Hunter General

        NOOOOOOOO

      • Based Pingu

        I’m not even surprised.

    • KJM, Doom Hunter General

      I guarantee you this isn’t a universal thing.

    • Óðinn

      I have to admit that I’m not very familiar with his music, in spite of his popularity. I suspect his stuff is bit too mellow and ordinary for my taste.

  • Óðinn

    ~~~

  • Óðinn

    ~~~~

  • Óðinn
  • KJM, Doom Hunter General

    So it was not a Super Freaky Deaky Blood Moon, but it still looked kinda cool.

  • Óðinn
  • Óðinn
  • Poopypanty’s Heroic Boogers

    “What do you mean he’s staring at my ass?!?!?”
    Drummer: “Swiggety swooty, I’m getting all up in that booty!”

    http://acidcow.com/pics/20100115/funny_faces_of_guitar_players_02.jpg