Photo Chop: 15th Edition

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In our last edition, we celebrated America… again. This time, we celebrate cheap inspiration.

But first, let’s all send congratulations ov hell to J.R.™ for taking home the popular vote with his masterful depiction of the Thrashnkill Poser-Punishing Draw Four Illuminati GuacJim Farting Buttwound Conspiracy:

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And let’s also applaud Master E… So Vindictive for meeting both challenge criteria of A) adding 100% more David Vincent alongside some B) especially shitty back tattoos. Thank you for recognizing the over-extremeness of ‘Merica.

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And now, let’s all forget this whole silly metal blog thing for awhile, chill for a bit and find some personal inspiration. You know the type I’m talking about: cheesy optimistic quotes over a washed-out picture of a sandy beach, a solitary tree or an empty chair. At some point, these advertisements for lifeloving saccharinity have either clogged your facebook feed so it looks like the discount bin at a Hallmark store, or bloated your email inbox to the point of crashing with forwarded messages from your aunt and/or uncle containing hundreds of these things.

Well no more. Fuck that shit. Let’s create a few alternatives.

Find a picture. Think of a quote. Put the quote on the picture and share it here. The weirder, the better. Here’s a few I made to get things started, and check this out if you need some more anti-inspiration.

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blastbeats_small

unhappyhole_small

The rules:

  • Keep it safe for work
  • Be creative & use whatever tools you want; “talent” or “skill” is not required
  • Post your entry in a new Disqus comment below
  • Entries will be judged on the number of upvotes they receive
  • The winner will be announced in the following edition and probably won’t win anything
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  • Dubzlinger, Malandro Slayer

    Weird. Death. Forever.

  • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

    …..

  • Howard Dean

    For those times you just need to drive the swish into ya and get drunk as fuck and then go bang behind the muffler shop in the backseat of the shitmobile.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlIUMfrJYYo&feature=youtube_gdata_player

    • Kevin Nash & Friends

      April Wine is good shit.

  • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

    Gentlemen, behold!

    • Vladimir Poutine

      I do not know what’s going on here. This is awesome in its absolute peculiarity.

      • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

        Happy Noodle Boy quotes at the top and a picture of him on the right.

        http://www.oocities.org/bottle_smasher/flyingnoodleboy.jpg
        http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Eky9xXxrAOU/hqdefault.jpg

        • KJM

          “We have technology beyond our comprehension!! Behold! The Mohawk of Eternity!!!”

          • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

            http://i.imgur.com/N9eFhrV.gif

            *commense the nonsensical thread jacking!*

          • KJM

            Ouch!Looks like the thread ain’t the only thing getting jacked. Besides, it’s Sunday.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            Speaking of thread jacking I have a very bad feeling about the new Fear Factory album. I’m listening to the second single and it sounds exactly like the first. I hope the third one can redeem my opinion of the album.

          • KJM

            I’m not a fan so I have no opinion on this at all.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I’m not a fan of any of the singles. At this point even though they’re coming to my area with Coal Chamber I’ll probably not go. I shall be seeing MRH and HED PE nine days after that though.

          • more beer

            All of their shit sounds the same!

          • Atomic Wedgie Massacre
          • more beer

            So it sounds like every other album they ever put out!

          • Atomic Wedgie Massacre
          • KJM

            Awesome.

          • Atomic Wedgie Massacre
          • KJM

            Melon Shakers?

          • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

            Carl from Aqua Teen probably talked him into going.

          • more beer

            Daddy is sick of banging that bitch!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Nag nag nag, it’s always “spend more time with our child” and “stop blowing our life savings at the strip club.” Fuck this. I’m going to the strip club.

          • more beer

            That is the reason her and the baby are on the billboard asking where he is. The strip club is the reason he`s not on the billboard under the headline wanted for murder the of his family. That made me laugh my ass of by the way.

    • KJM

      Much glasses, very woof. Wow.

    • Atomic Wedgie Massacre
    • CyberneticOrganism

      Disqualified. Flog thyself raw.

      • Look, man, just because you’re not into the whole skin look…

      • EsusMoose

        Corgis are above the weak laws of mankind

        • Kevin Nash & Friends

          They’re so adorable.

        • more beer

          No they aren`t. they are pitbull food!

  • A picturesque postcard from NY.

  • Kevin Nash & Friends

    Who the hell thought any man should wear pink, especially wrestlers?

    • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

      My god, is that camel toe down there?!?!?

      • KJM

        He’s done so many different kinds of drugs, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were.

        • Kevin Nash & Friends

          At least he’s still alive. Same goes with Bret.

          • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

            On the whole men wearing pink thing, what about athletes wearing pink in support for breast cancer? That was after Jim The Anvil’s time in the ring, I’m aware.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            It was after The Anvil. That was more of a 2000’s thing and the last time Anvil was in any major company was 1998 in WCW.

          • more beer

            Tit`s are awesome dudes in pink are not.

          • more beer

            Most men support tits!

      • Kevin Nash & Friends

        That’s Jim Neidhart. It’s possible but unlikely considering he’s a guy. Oddly enough he’s still alive even though he had a terrible drug problem. Only him and Bret are left as Owen and Bulldog are dead.

        • KJM

          Owen should’ve said no.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            He really should have. Maybe he’d still be here if that was the case. He was always better than Bret in my opinion.

          • KJM

            If he’d said no, he definitely would still be here. He didn’t drink, smoke, or take pills and wasn’t a risk taker.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            His 2 time Slammy award winner gimmick was the best. He brought the best out of people like Bret did with many wrestlers. His match with Bulldog to crown the first European champion was one of the best Raw matches ever and the best match Davey Boy ever had, even better than his match with Bret at Summerslam 92.

          • more beer

            So in other words the dude was no fun!

          • KJM

            Actually Owen Hart was a notorious practical joker.

          • more beer

            He is the one who fell to his death. If I`m not mistaken. Correct?

          • KJM

            Yeah, there was a fault with the harness. I was watching the PPV live when it happened, pretty chilling.

          • more beer

            I`m not a huge wrestling fan but I do remember that. When ever you actually see someone die it`s pretty fucked up. I`ve seen that a few times in my life and it never gets any easier.

          • KJM

            They didn’t show the fall. It happened halfway through the event but they chose to continue the PPV anyway.

        • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

          Might be a guy overall, but that sir is some thick and chunky camel toe!

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Moose knuckle

        • more beer

          Nope Pussies!

        • Atomic Wedgie Massacre

          Ninja foot.

    • Dubzlinger, Malandro Slayer

      Men who are secure in their sexuality wear pink.

      • DCLXVI

        Fo real playa

        • CyberneticOrganism

          BRO YOU WANT ANOTHER SMIRNOFF ICE?

      • more beer

        Hahahah! That is the biggest bunch of bullshit ever!

    • The Fish Boz

      Signed: your wife, Shannon

    • KJM

      I swear, Microsoft stole this background from the Teletubbies.

    • winner right here

  • Bozamole Jim

    This quote brought to you by the apostle Paul.

  • The Fish Boz

    I use my godly powers to hereby declare that “the unhappy hole is the butt” shall be the winner by default. Bless the lizard’s soul… if they have any, that is.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Thank thee

      • Lacertilinger

        Now that I see the full potential of the concept, I would like to stake my claim for the royalties it will no doubt accrue

    • Lacertilinger

      When I begged the original question I did not intend for @CyberneticOrganism:disqus to take it to the people, although the toilet dwellers do deserve such things to be put upon them.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        It’s a message that needs to be shouted from mountains.

      • The Fish Boz

        But not on their unhappy holes.

  • KJM
    • Kevin Nash & Friends

      They themed a song off The King In Yellow? The King In Yellow was a great book.

      • KJM

        Yep, Matt Pike’s a huge fan of that stuff.

        • Kevin Nash & Friends

          I like him now. That was a great book.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            It was a great book.

    • The Fish Boz

      Carcosa and The Cave are my favorite cuts from this album. Along with maybe The Falconist.

  • The Fish Boz

    I suck

  • J.R.™

    I think the official term is “fuckscapes”, but I’m gonna sit this one out. Give you kiddies a chance ;^)

  • KJM

    BREAKING GNUS: Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats are playing Boston on September 14! Aw yeah.

    • more beer

      I think I`m gonna spend the money and go see them. Even with California Death Fest about a month from when they are playing Denver!

  • MoshOff

    Inspirational

  • KJM

    TOUR

    • I’m debating on whether or not I want to drive for seven hours to see the show in Atlanta. Uncle Acid is probably my favorite doom band.

      • KJM

        I saw them last year and they were excellent.

  • Scrimm

    Blast beats or GTFO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • pïgchop™

    An age old mystery solved!

  • Howard Dean

    New Mgla track, album supposedly dropping late summer.

    NO SOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fyhg0PZ87k&feature=youtube_gdata_player

  • Master E… So Vindictive

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Mom jokes >>>>>

  • Master E… So Vindictive

  • Master E… So Vindictive

    • P4T4R

      Comic sans 2.0.