Photo Chop: 13th Edition

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We continue the decimation of all things choppable.

For the first time in this series’ illustrious history, our last edition has produced two (2) winners. Please congratulate tertius_decimus for winning the popular vote and for being all aboot that Canadian wildlife…

12thEditionWinner2_tertius_decimus

…and let us also congratulate J.R. for his spot-fucking-on nailing of the “immediate win” parameters: a silhouetted ninja drinking from a mead horn. Behold.

12thEditionWinner1_J-R

Well done gentlemen, be sure to get in touch with Papa Joe to see if there’s anything waiting for you in the magic bag ov prizes. If not, I’ll happily send you both a random audio file (which may or may not include a toilet flush… okay it’ll include a toilet flush, I have hundreds of them).

And now that the ashes of the old Photo Chop building (never forget) have been scattered by the wind, let’s have a look at the next target from that same incredible gallery of fiery European festivals, where brawny warriors hack and chop away at mighty oak and ash trees for their war-bringing longships, and quaff powerful fermentations to fuel both the honoring of their gods and the bravado of their fighting spirits, and uh… drink coffee in a local basement. Hey everybody needs their caffeine, y’know?

13thEditionImage_700

Stab to embiggen (via)

The rules:

  • Keep it safe for work
  • Be creative & use whatever tools you want; “talent” or “skill” is not required
  • Post your entry in a new Disqus comment below
  • Entries will be judged on the number of upvotes they receive
  • The winner will be announced in the following edition and probably won’t win anything

Challenges:

  1. Add a few timely portraits to the picture frames, or
  2. Suddenly, Rowdy Roddy Piper
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  • EsusMoose

    If anyone wants I attempted to cut them out if you want to speed up your chop or at least have a head start in the direction I’m going

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Ooh, convenient

  • Sir Tapir the Based™

    I suck.

  • EsusMoose

    1000 eons in ms paint

    • CyberneticOrganism

      HUZZAH! TO GLORY!

  • Óðinn

    ~~~

  • Bah…how do you even post a picture in a comment? My computer is bleeding…

  • KJM

    There is a metric fuckton of video from Copenhell 2015 on youtube now. Gonna search for this years Hellfest and Graspop stuff after I watch them.

  • Vicodin + No Skills =

    • KJM

      Vicodin + No Skills = me on my days off, usually

      • more beer

        Time well spent.

        • KJM

          Fortunately for me I do have PC and networking skillz. Otherwise I’d be a bit short on cash and that would be no fun.

          • more beer

            I know what you are saying. Thankfully I do well with my small business and don`t have to punch a clock. Getting paid by the job is pretty awesome.

          • KJM

            I get along great with my boss and my workplace is 10 minutes walking distance from my apartment, not always as much work as I’d like but I get by.

          • more beer

            I have to drive all over the place. Gas is definitely my biggest business expense. But I can write it all off on my taxes. Plus I do have to deal with some really stupid people. But that`s how it is in the trades. But for the most part I just go and do my thing without anyone bothering me. Plus most of the people on site don`t speak English so that helps.

      • Óðinn

        Vicodin + Gatorade + Fried Egg Sandwich = Hangover Cure, usually

        • more beer

          Just the Vicodin would work.

          • Óðinn

            Yup. That’s why it’s funny. 🙂

          • more beer

            I do like Fried Egg Sandwiches and Gatorade though.

          • Óðinn

            Me too.

          • more beer

            Not quite as much as I like beer wenches.

          • Óðinn

            That’s a good point. There’s nothing I like more than beer wenches.

          • more beer

            A life without beer wenches. Is a life not worth living!

          • KJM

            Just the Gatorade for me, thanks.

            I don’t drink nearly enough to get hangovers anyway, haven’t had a real vicious one since HS graduation(i.e. a VERY long time ago).

          • more beer

            I know you aren`t a drinker. I just love beer. I rarely drink liquor.

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            I like Fierce Grape Gatorade but not with fried egg sandwiches because that sounds awful. It goes well with cheesesteaks though.

          • more beer

            Vicodin goes with everything! I really like you jjd but I don`t want to be responsible for corrupting you!

          • Kevin Nash & Friends

            Drugs are bad though.

          • KJM

            Drugs are great. It’s the abuse, disrespect, and ignorance that’s bad.

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            “Drugs are great.” Oh boy Mr Mackey, you’ve changed.

          • KJM

            Mmkay?

        • Jock Strap Full Of Macaroni
    • Sir Tapir the Based™

      Is pixlr better than MS Paint?

      • Don’t have MS paint. I just started fucking around with pixlr today but I have -666 computer skills so I can’t figure out how to do anything. See above photo for proof.

      • EsusMoose

        You have a lot more options and stuff to mess with, but you have to figure out the user interface to get it to really work

  • Jasper Ringoldsby

    What is the best way to get in touch with Daddy Joesephus? Would he be mad if I show up at his house?

    • Jock Strap Full Of Macaroni

      Click your heels 3 times and say “Tay Tay” over and over, and he will fly in through your window.

      http://38.media.tumblr.com/1524f4c30cbb38b7f0141bdc88554dc4/tumblr_nc9z84LBe81qh59n0o3_500.gif

    • you wanna know his secret? he’s always mad

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Are you in the facebook group? Try there. Or, you can take my consolation prize and request a custom narration/greeting.

      • Jasper Ringoldsby

        Am I part of the Facebook group?!?!?!?!? Man I thought my joining would at least make an impact on SOME people. 🙁

        • CyberneticOrganism

          I’m not in there so I have no idea.

  • Jock Strap Full Of Macaroni

    ….

  • Jock Strap Full Of Macaroni

    In other news, it’s FINALLY official: Dave Vincent is out of Morbid Angel. Toilet Of Hell Grief Counseling will be available for those who can’t bear to live without another “Illud Divinum Insanus”.

    http://www.quickmeme.com/img/dd/dde973fe105c75da6a16eb636b3a0881ca3369416960380697598fa0c9624d27.jpg

  • I stand by the artistic merit of my first entry, but here’s what happened after screwing with pixlr all day . . .

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Thanks to @EsusMoose:disqus and his blank.

  • KJM

    Sooo, the first ep of TD season 2 was kind of, well, lame.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Heard that it’s just a high-budget cop drama now. No occult = no interest.

      • KJM

        There were hint that it might crop up in later episodes, but nothing like S1E1 at all.

        • I was prepared to hate it.
          The first 10 minutes or so didn’t really grab me.
          But by the end I was in love.

          • KJM

            The new opening credits make it seem like the freakin Sopranos. Leonard Cohen is the best cure for insomnia ever.

          • That song is god-awful. I interpreted it as a sign of the suckness to come–thankfully it was not. I wouldn’t be surprised if that alone causes the ratings to fail to meet expectations.

          • KJM

            I will say though, the ski mask scene(shhh!) was very well done, perfect even.

          • Agreed. That character is creepy in the best possible way. I sense he will remain unpredictable throughout. I can’t fault anyone for being disappointed that this season lacks the atmosphere of the first; then again, California is not Louisiana.

            I really dig the three cop characters: dark, damaged people on the verge of some kind of existential black hole . . . I eat that shit for breakfast.

      • KJM

        FWIW, there’s supposed to be a sub plot about the secret occult history of the CA railroad system or some shit like that.

      • There are very subtle occult overtones; we’ll see how all that pans out.

  • Jasper Ringoldsby

    Please dont ban me