Pew Pew Pew! It’s Video Game Grind from Futuristic Death Tank

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Your soundtrack to defeating flashing red monsters.

Do any of the following items interest you: Final Fantasy VII, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Mega Man, Krallice, colorful Lucasarts games, or Big Black? Cool, now that everyone on Earth is piqued, let’s talk about The Last Boss.

A lot of great music has been hitting the Toilet ov Hell inbox lately. I’m going to share all of that shit with you, but most pressing for your Wednesday morning is this 10-minute demo of retro video game-inspired cybergrind from Futuristic Death Tank. This Minnesconsin-affiliated duo specializes in quick bursts of chaotic grind, punk, and noise rock with a surprising panache for memorable melodic lines and hilariously accurate lyrics.

There are no song titles for this demo, so I’ve instead listed the game that inspires each song:

0:00 – Chrono Trigger
1:03 – Super Mario World
1:32 – Final Fantasy VI
1:58 – The Secret of Monkey Island
3:21 – Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!
3:52 – Mega Man X
4:28 – Day of the Tentacle
5:33 – StarFox 64
6:39 – Final Fantasy VII

The Last Boss is all about, uh, the last boss in a bunch of classic video games. The music here is appropriately urgent and apocalyptic. Every ounce of drama from these 9 different video games permeates throughout the demo. Standout tracks here include the sinister opener “Chromo Trigger”, punk-as-fuck “Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!”, and the appropriately epic “Final Fantasy VII”.

I would be a fool to not include some of the lyrical gems on display here. “Super Mario World” takes me back to the feeling of being an child in front of the Nintendo pre-Internet.

CLOWN COPTER
SMILING ON MY TELEVISION
THROWING MECHAKOOPAS
BACK UP AT YOU
MY FRIEND’S OLDER BROTHER SHOWED ME HOW
THROW EM UP YOU LIL RED FUCK

“Mega Man X” not only accurately describes the storyline, but gives some much-needed personality to the Blue Bomber:

IN THE PAST 54 MINUTES
I HAVE BEATEN UP 8 EXOTICALLY-DRESSED MEN
EACH WITH THEIR OWN DISTINCT SMELLS AND APPENDAGES
AND I HAVE ACQUIRED THE FINEST ACCESSORIES IN ALL OF MEGA-LAND
AND THEY ADORN MY SUPPLE, NUBILE SPACE SUIT
SIGMA’S IN FOR A TREAT, HE’S IN FOR A TREAT
AND THEN HE WAS EASY AS FUCK

“Final Fantasy VI” sums up my feelings for literally every video game I ever enjoyed as a child:

MAYBE NEXT TIME STEAD OF PLAYIN I’LL JUST WATCH THE SPEED RUN
PINNACLE OF GAMING
DON’T REMEMBER PLAYING IT

These fellas are on the next level. Go like Futuristic Death Tank on Facebook and tell ’em “Bleep bloop boop”.

(Image Via)

  • Dubs

    Only I have the brains to rule Lylat

    • ProfoundHatred

      I still remain undefeated in multiplayer on that shit.

      • Dubs

        I played the 3DS remake and was annoyed that the voice acting was changed.

  • Spear

    YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND THE TRUE FORM OF GIYGAS ATTACK

    • Dubs

      It’s an abortion, breh

      • Spear

        Well, yes, but Ness and friends don’t know that.

      • What’s next?

        Chrono Trigger retells the Bible? 😉

    • “I’m… H.. A.. P.. P.. Y..”.

  • “It’s not right… Not right… Not right…”

    “… It hurts… It hurts…”

    “I feel… G O O D…”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1QfIbLulf8

    This sounds pretty rad, Joe.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Pigs Blood from Wisconsin.

    https://pigsblood.bandcamp.com/releases

    • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

      I think thats a Waynecro workout supplement

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Whatever gets your shit ripped.

      • Waynecro

        I don’t think pigs’ blood is clean enough; pigs often eat a lot of weird shit.

    • Dubs
    • Absolutely rips! Highly recommended.

  • Boss the Turbid Ross

    Those lyrics are deep.

    • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

      Like most video game storylines

      • Mass Effect games have some really good storylines

        • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

          Im not saying there arent compelling storylines in vidya. Just not most of the time.

          • Dubs
          • I feel like that kind of shit is part of the charm of RE games though. It just wouldn’t feel right if it had legit voice acting and what not.

          • Dubs

            Oh, I totally love the over-the-top ridiculousness of it all. Leon escaping by jet-ski in RE4… This scene literally had me laughing, though.

          • Lol yea and Ashley inviting him to her place. “uh, no thanks” REKT

          • “I’M NOT… GONNA MAKE IT…”

            (repeat).

          • My favorite is “something doesn’t feel right” NO SHIT YOU HAVE BEEN FIGHTING DUDES WITH BUGS POPPING OUT OF THEIR HEAD FOR THE WHOLE GAME. ALSO GIANT BUGS. YOU’RE GODDAMNED RIGHT THINGS DONT FEEL RIGHT.

          • Go there, kill this, hahah just kidding it moved all the way across the map, go kill it. Oops you didnt make it in time go back to the other side of the map, go kill it. Oh you killed it good job yay.

        • Edward/Breegrodamus™

          Do I have to be the obvious person to point out how awesome the combination of Gothic monsters and extraterrestrials was in BB?

          • From software arguably has the deepest storylines, cause you actually have to dig for them. The lore is incredibly rich though.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            COUNTDOWN TO DKS3.

            ALREADY TOOK OFF WORK

            IM EXCITEBIKE

          • I may be able to take vacation that week, but it’s gonna be cutting it close since I won’t have been at this job a year until march.

          • Dubs

            The people who make Amnesia write good stories too. I’d pitch for Zelda too, but I’ve already gone there recently.

          • there’s a man after my heart.

          • Dubs

            I’ll probably never play SOMA because I already spoiled the end for myself, but that is a very interesting idea for a game.

          • SOMA had faults preventing it from being as good as the Amnesia titles. but dat story… really made me contemplate

        • remember when Commander Shepherd from those games used to hang around these parts?

        • Capra Hircus Hubertus

          Ehh, Mass Effect has good charachters and above average writing. The story itself is nothing special.

      • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

        I stick with NES rom hacks when I want classy storylines in video games.

        http://www.i-mockery.com/romhacks/megafag/intro06.gif
        http://www.i-mockery.com/romhacks/megafag/intro07.gif

        • smh

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            You know, you could always upgrade your avatar, ROM hack style.

            http://www.i-mockery.com/romhacks/megafag/megafagc.gif

          • Dubs

            This is the worst.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            Oh god no it isn’t. Go through the list of ROM hack reviews on I-Mockery. It gets much much worse!

          • Dubs

            I have zero intent to do that.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            Your loss!

  • COAL ROLL

    wow this is super fun

    • Dagon

      Agreed. Massively entertaining. Lots of memories.

  • Dagon

    Megaman X >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    • sweetooth0

      gotta say I disagree with the lyrics this band did for Megaman X, Sigma was fucking BRUTAL at the end of that game. And if you die once and use your e-tanks, the game basically says fuck you, you gotta hop up and down this shaft killing stupid little worms until you collect enough health chips to refill your tanks. Savage.

      • Dagon

        Those games are still hard. Very grueling. The only series I remember as more challenging than Megaman growing up was Ninja Gaiden. I had the Trilogy cartridge and all three of them games were sadistic.

        • sweetooth0

          yup. For the original separate NES Ninja Gaiden releases we used to pause the game and just turn the TV off because once you used up those 3 continues it was game over, back to the start. No saves, no codes, no mercy!

          • Dagon

            So much fun though. Those monsters looked ridiculous in both good and bad ways. The soundtrack was ace too.

  • *Googles Final Fantasy* *Gets up to go shit out a massive weeb turd*

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Honestly glad I don’t really play video games anymore. Just one more thing to keep me preoccupied from playing music.

    • Dubs

      Gotta have priorities. Vidya takes a backseat to most other things, but it’s good for the occasional downtime on a slow night.

      • Dagon

        A backseat to what, girls? I don’t have time for that nonsense.

        – Dude who brought gameboy to 1st year of medschool

        This is not a joke.

      • I don’t get play as much as I used to. I really want to play the new Doom when it comes out. My wife will probably file for divorce if that happens.

      • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

        I dont see why people have such a hard time having sex while being a huge nerd. I guess im on some next level shit

        • Dubs

          I’m a nerd and married, so… it can be done.

        • let me take a stab at this… single video game gals are a hot commodity, just like single heavy metal gals. where i live, they’ve all been snatched up. and if they haven’t been, there’s a line.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Same thing happens in my area.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Im p sure that nerdy girls are trending. Metal chicks are the opposite. Just use my approach, and turn a normie girl into a metal nerd

          • i’ve got a big enough trunk!

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Pfff. We have the same name. You shouldnt even need a trunk

        • Some people just ain’t trying to get laid.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Kids these days

          • I’m one of those kids. No shame.

          • Dubs

            You do you.

          • Dagon

            AKA masturbation

          • Guacamole Jim

            I think it’s an inevitable biproduct of not trying to get laid.

          • Dagon

            Tell me about it.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Why is everyone not trying to get laid now? What is this? Opposite world?

          • Dagon

            Free Bangbros passwords?

          • it’s just not a prime directive. i’d never turn down, say a good live show or a bag of pizza toppings to try to get laid.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            Why not both pizza and getting laid?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szCIMUmDyqY

          • Not I, dude. Women are one of the only things that make this stupid fucking world worth dealing with. However, I’m older so it doesn’t matter as much.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            I guess the alpha is too deep in our blud

          • Dagon

            Woof woof

          • I also tend to be more than happy to let “her” do most of the talking. That usually works out well.

          • millions of cats all over the world are collectively saying “shots fired”

          • Luna knows that she’s my buddy.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Big fuzz slept in between my legs last night because it was storming out. So cute ^-^

          • Luna always sleeps right behind my leg.

          • Dubs

            And by that I mean, there’s no shame in that.

          • It is what it is. Never been in a relationship and never had sex. True story bro. Just never happened and it does not bother me one bit.

          • Dubs

            That’s cool. I’m not one for advocating meaningless relationships or sex. Some folks are just happier alone, and if you’re happy, that’s great!

          • There, now you have some good shit to make fun of me with 😉

          • Dubs

            Nah.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Not something to make fun of. But i will say im surprised

          • Surprised, because I’m so goddamn hawt!

          • Dagon

            You’re good looking, bro. We remember the haircut photos.

          • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

            Not to mention fit. And a drummer. And tall. Those three go a long way

          • I don’t make fun of anybody for their choices. I honestly don’t get out enough these days for it to really matter. That will change over the Summer since Somerville is becoming more Metal and Pro Wrestling friendly.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            Nah, it’s so much funnier making fun of Tapir, our resident lonely celibate.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            I gave up on relationships 8 years ago, and it hasn’t bothered me. I don’t have some void in my life that needs to be filled by another person, simple as that. I’m a top bunk dwelling lone wolf.

          • If I stumble across somebody that I get on with, that’s great. If not, then whatever. The best relationships I’ve had were the ones that just landed on me out of nowhere.

          • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

            Exact same with me. I’m happier with Friends With Benefits a lot more than relationships, tbh.

          • Boss the Turbid Ross

            Solid, man.

          • Waynecro

            You’re probably better off, dude.

          • I think you’re right.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          It isn’t hard. In my case I’m actively not looking for sex or relationships at the moment.

        • Neither of us gamed, but the most recent ex was a bigtime nerd in other ways.

        • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

          I’m a nerd and I’m proof that ANYONE can get laid.

    • Hear hear. I really have no desire to play video games anymore. For 6 years now I have not owned a game consul. Been working out fine.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        My wife and I own a Wii, but we usually just watch Netflix.

        • Dubs

          I know this feel.

        • Yup.

    • I listen to music while I game. I haven’t heard an actual video game soundtrack in a long time.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        I used to do that too.

  • Finally listening to this album for the first time and unholy fuck is it devastating.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OW2vf3Ygp8k

  • Guacamole Jim

    This is really cool!!

  • This is fucking awesome! Great find!

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Not sure how permanent it is, but Cirith Ungol has reformed to play a show later this year in California.

  • I like the fact they used Chrono Trigger too, one of my fav games.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNt0JLuZwBk

  • This reminds me of Gridlink a little bit. I like how they incorporated all the sounds from the old video games in this. The Mike Tyson song is killer.

    • Dagon

      I really dug Megaman and the last Final Fantasy bit too. That last one was sludgy during the crescendo.

      • The Megaman one had some sounds from the OST, awesome.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBWl9p0fH28

        • Dagon

          I recognized those. They occupy a considerable chunk of my brain.

          • We have the ability to remember useless memories, instead of things that makes us more productive.

            Hug me.

        • Betty White’s Chewy Booger

          All the Mega Man X games had some pretty good, synthpoppy jams.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Graves at Sea finally putting out a full-length. Crushes!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=9&v=4C84PeWW8UI

    • solid jam!! just don’t pay attention to the label…

      • Shrimp in a Pizza Box

        Hey, Relapse is pretty good. Better than the other big labels, at any rate.

        • i don’t have beef with Relapse. i just don’t imagine KS being into most of their bands 😉

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Exactly.

    • Dagon

      Lots of good shit dropping April 1st.

    • LVL 11 BLACKBEARD

      Very tite

    • Guacamole Jim

      This is rad.

    • Relapse has some good doom bands on their roster. Not going to lie. Graves at Sea, Primitive Man, Usnea, and Lycus.

  • Eliza

    The music is good enough that a person completely indifferent to gaming such as myself can appreciate it.

  • ProfoundHatred

    This is incredible.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
  • Betty White’s Chewy Booger
  • RustyShackleford

    STARFOX >>>>>>>

    YUP

  • Betty White’s Chewy Booger
  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Speaking of video games, could someone code New Vegas for me? You’d do a better job than the developers!

  • Waynecro

    This band is rocking all of my pixels. Thanks, Mr. Thrashnkill!

  • This gets my 16bit bonner going bad crazy, and it sounds, at times, like J.R. Hayes singing. Im sold!!!