Pants Stains – In Flames Jeans

Are those In Flames jeans, because your ass has gone steadily downhill since 2002.

Whether you love them, used to love them, hate them, or just ignore everything said and just rush to the comments section to post a Burzum video, it’s hard to deny In Flames. They’ve been around for over two decades, have put out eleven studio albums, three EPs, toured all over the world, won a bunch of awards, and helped spearhead an entire subgenre of metal.

Of course, a band of this size playing live isn’t just the musicians on stage; it takes stage managers, sound engineers, guitar techs, drum techs, lighting techs, stage designers, and plenty of assistants. These are the unsung heroes of concerts. They’re at the venue hours and even days before the show starts, and they’re there long after the final song has been played. It’s hard and sometimes dangerous work that you may not notice unless something goes wrong. Broken strings, monitors shorting out, mics dying, sets falling. Anything can happen, and they are all potentially show stopping catastrophes.

In Flames teamed up with Swedish “work wear” company Blaklader to put out a documentary on their crew entitled “Build It Up And Tear It Down”. It’s highly commendable that the band would want their fans to know about all the help they receive from their crew. It may seem a bit odd, but the documentary is only about 11 minutes long and can be seen in its entirety here:

So why have I been talking about this in a Shirt..ahem…I mean “Pants Stains” article? Take a look:


Oh, yeah. Those are In Flames pants. Or, if you prefer: Hot pants. These aren’t just any old hot pants that you may find being worn by the creepy guy at the gym who wants to talk to you in the locker room while doing lunges and putting his leg onto the bench to stretch. These are work wear pants. Presumably for all of your work wear needs.

Gotta put up some drywall while letting people know you enjoy an album called Whoracle? In Flames and Blaklader have you covered. Need to lay some carpet and need to be guided by a pinball map? In Flames and Blaklader have you covered. Do you just have to wear pants that would make the dorkiest Hot Topic fan circa 2001 jab their eyes out with mascara? In Flames and Blaklader have you covered.

Just because the zippers and oversized pockets serve a function doesn’t make these pants look any less ridiculous than those mall metal ones. I have to assume that’s some extra padding for the knees. Useful, but only if you’re actually using these for work. Are there a lot of In Flames fans out there that also need work pants like this? I mean, beyond the crew shown in the documentary and their immediate families? Is there a carpenters union somewhere in the US with a high Swedish population like in Minnesota? People that enjoy a high buttons-near-the-crotch ratio?

I suppose one could use the extra large pockets for holding snacks like hockey powder, salty marshmallow cars, and a piece of chocolate actually called “Plopp”. The zippers could be useful if the skin on your legs wants to make an escape. They’re probably good on those cold winter nights, sitting around the fire, singing traditional Swedish songs like “Baka, Baka Liten Kaka” and “En Rallare, En Rallare, pa Roslagsgatan gick”.

Sadly (or more likely “Thankfully”) these pants are no longer for sale as they were limited edition. Super limited would be my guess. They’re just a very specific piece of merchandise. Useful no doubt, but not high in crossover appeal. It does leave the door open for other future products from bands like Dark Tranquillity boots, Soilwork hardhats, and Sonic Syndicate steel wool underwear.

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Published on: January 8, 2016

Filled Under: Shirt Stains

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