• DSBM 101: A lesson in “Sad”

    And Euronymous spoke:

    “It is cold, I am angry, grrr.”

    But some of his followers defected by saying:

    “It is cold. I am sad.”

    And thus, Depressive Suicidal Black Metal was born.

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    July 22, 2014 • Metal • Views: 4056

  • This Toilet Tuesday (7/22/2014)

    Happy Tuesday, flushers. We here at the Toilet have been pounding the Metamucil in anticipation of dumping a new regular feature on you. Every Tuesday, Spear, Deputy Dipshit, Jack Bauer, and Flushgod Apocalypse are going to bring you a heaping list of the ripest new releases for the week. So pull up a stool and clench yourself for the unflushable new movements.

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    July 22, 2014 • New Stuff • Views: 1665

  • Cathedral’s Gaz Jennings’ Upcoming DEATH PENALTY

    Hear my prophecy, peasants:
    1   Verily, verily I say unto thee, the time soon cometh that the members of many legendary doom metal bands will turn from their own.
    2   Do not despair, for they shall not be forgotten or cast aside.
    3   Neither will they live on only in our hearts, for they shall be born again within new, kick-ass, hard-rocking female-fronted doom metal bands.
    4   And thus the Almighty Riff will live on for ever and ever. Amen.

    It’s already happening, my friends. Last year Leif Edling, Marcus Jidel, and Carl Westholm (all of Candlemass fame) joined forces with Jennie-Ann Smith to dish out Avatarium‘s self-titled debut, which absolutely ruled. Now, Gaz Jennings of the highly renowned and recently disbanded Cathedral is teaming up with Raf Muekens and Serpentcult members Fredrik Cosemans and Michelle Nocon to bring us Death Penalty. Continue Reading

    July 22, 2014 • Metal, New Stuff • Views: 1546

  • From the Depths: Belphegor’s “Conjuring the Dead” Reviewed

    As a public service, we will occasionally highlight comments that you need to know about. Today, esteemed commenter RiotAct666 brings you news you can use with his review of the upcoming Belphegor album Conjuring the Dead.
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    July 21, 2014 • Metal, News, Reviews • Views: 1528

  • Crate Diggin’: Botch – We Are The Romans

    Confession: Botch is the first extreme musical act I ever fell in love with. To many they were known as the metal band that covered O Fortuna and Rock Lobster by the B-52s. Were they punk? Were they metal? Were they metalcore, or mathcore? Why didn’t they worship Satan? Why did they break up after only two full length studio albums and a last gasp EP? I don’t have answers to all these questions. It’s highly likely you could find out on Wikipedia, or by listening to their second studio album We Are The Romans.

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    July 21, 2014 • Metal, Nostalgia Boners • Views: 1716

  • Full Circle 2014: Days of the New’s reunion tour displays familiar talents, familiar flaws.

    Days of the New have had a tumultuous music career. Formed in Louisville in 1995, when band members Jesse Vest, Matt Taul, Todd Whitener and Travis Meeks were teenagers in high school, they experienced nearly immediate commercial success. Continue Reading

    July 21, 2014 • News, Nostalgia Boners, Reviews, Uncategorized • Views: 3178

  • Shit You Shouldn’t Be Missing: The Death-Doom Edition

    Welcome, peasants, to the first segment of “Shit You Might Be Missing,” where we will be discussing some shit that you might be missing this year. We’re going to be diving into some death-doom today, so moody metalheads and sobbing sad saps give heed! All of you cheerful people (i.e., posers) probably ought to pay attention too, because after listening to the three crushingly depressing albums featured here today, KSOFM will never reasonably be able to call you a “cunting lifelover” ever again. Continue Reading

    July 21, 2014 • Metal, New Stuff • Views: 2142

  • Dancing With Wolves: Dog Fashion Disco’s “Sweet Nothings”

    Dog Fashion Disco was always a band that flew under my metal radar until, as a strapping 18 year old flusher, I came across Polkadot Cadaver on *GASP* Myspace. Entranced by their esoteric and psychedelic brand of metal, I was prompted to read into their history – thus stumbling upon Dog Fashion Disco (Fun fact: The band’s original name was Hug The Retard – Good call on the name change, guys!). Being a Mr. Bungle fan, the obvious Patton worship hooked me instantly. Unfortunately, by this time, DFD had released 6 studio albums and disbanded.

    Fast forward to 2013 – The interwebs began spouting rumors that the band was getting back together with all of the original members (sans keyboardist Jeff Siegel) to perform a handful of reunion shows. During the second show, frontman Todd Smith announced that they would be recording a new album –Sweet Nothings, their first new material in seven years. After launching a successful crowd-funding campaign on Indiegogo (they raised $85,000 of their $30,000 goal), the album is here. Continue Reading

    July 21, 2014 • Metal, New Stuff, Reviews • Views: 1446

  • Wake Up and Get Some SLEEP (For Free!)

    By the time Dopesmoker finally received a proper release in 2003, Sleep had already been disbanded for about five years. Matt Pike moved on to bigger and heavier things with High on Fire, while Cisneros and Hakius apparently surpassed the human boundaries of intoxication and formed Om. Much to the dismay of Sleep fans a.k.a. stoned burnouts everywhere, it looked like we’d heard the last of them together. Well, guess what nerds? The somewhat-recently reunited band just released a single through Adult Swim’s weird little single’s series. It’s the first new song we’ve heard from Sleep in 18 years. So brush off all that Cheetoh-dust and get your lazy ass in here!

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    July 21, 2014 • Metal, New Stuff, News • Views: 1137

  • Swellin’ To The Jammiez: The First Edition

    Sup bros and broettes!? Paris Hilton here.  A few months ago, I decided to take a break from getting drunk and stoned with my homegirls so I could comment on that site that shall remain nameless *flush*. I just wanted to discuss Metal, write some shitty jokes, and even piss off an IMN or two in my spare time. Never would I have thought that I’d end up a regular poster and then a blogger myself! For now, I’d like to discuss the relationship between exercise and the genre we all know and love: Heavy Metal.

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    July 20, 2014 • Metal • Views: 2331