Newz U Can Uze: Cruciamentum, Baroness, A Pregnant Light, Decrepit Birth, Tsjuder

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Stuff happened. Let’s break it down quickly.


-Tsjuder have a brand new track of thrashy black metal streaming over at Terrorizer. It’s called “Djevelens Mesterverk” (Norwegian for “Masterlord is really, really into DevilSticks”) and it’ll be included on the band’s upcoming album Antiliv, out September 18th via Season of Mist. The band had this to say about the record:

“This song delivers aggressive black metal with some thrash influences. The title means in Norwegian ‘The Devil’s Masterpiece’. The lyrics describes a first person “me” (or the reader) as a reflection of the Devil – or some devil. Infecting the world with chaos, destruction, negativity, etc., which has been the foundation and purpose of ‘my’ life. ‘Djevelens Mesterverk’ was the first track that we composed for the ‘Antiliv’ album (excluding ‘Ved Ferdens Ende’ that appeared on demo back in 1995).”

-Cruciamentum are streaming their debut record over at The Quietus (low-key, one of the best music sites in the worlddddd). If you’re into quality OSDM in the vein of Bolt Thrower, get over there and put it in your head holes.

-A Pregnant Light, creator of my favorite record of 2014, has announced a thing:
CNSFZNbUkAAlAZt

So, y’know, check Stereogum tomorrow?

-Baroness have announced… that they will announce… something on August 28th. It’s purple! Purple is a fruit, right?

 

-Decrepit Birth have begun recording a new album. Don’t believe me? Look, they even have the little drummy things arranged all pretty for this picture.

 

Did anything else happen? Comment below. Together we’ll get this “news” thing nailed down once and for all.

  • Howard Dean

    Preorders for the new Mgla album are now being accepted at No Solace, and CDs will ship ahead of the September 4th release. So if you’re doing the math, you can expect to have Exercises in Futility in your hands by the end of next week.

    • Vote for Jeb

      You can also pre-order the digital on Bandcamp if you swing that way.

      https://no-solace.bandcamp.com/album/exercises-in-futility-lp-2015

    • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

      Ordered.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        You would.

        • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

          You’re goddamn right I would.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Good man.

      • Howard Dean

        Same. Pumped. Last time I ordered from No Solace, it arrived way quicker than I expected. I’m hoping for a similar outcome this time! Can’t wait to have this CD in my hands.

        • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

          Nice, good to hear man. Thanks for all the killer updates/news by the way. Yeah, this album is probably my most anticipated release of this year so I’m just going for it here. Fuck that digital download option.

          • Vote for Jeb

            Just throwing it out there for folks who don’t have the option to pay for shipping.

          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

            Of course. I didn’t mean any offense towards you.

        • Stanley

          M not only writes a mean tune, but he also licks a mean stamp. I’ve ordered a few things and they have always arrived quickly.

        • CT-12

          Good to know. I was a little hasty in throwing down money for the pre-order because I’ve been dicked when ordering international before (as I know you have too). I’mma do it!

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    If anyone wants to bet on the name of that new Baroness I’ll be takin’ some, since every blog ever has apparently already decided it’s going to be called Purple Album.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      That Cruciamentum album is sick as heck. A really ill heck.

      • Lacertilian

        I’m tempted to go and stream even though I did the pre-order a few weeks back. One track is all it took for them to have my cash.

    • Vote for Jeb

      Lavender Release

      • Violet Violence

        • Dagon

          Purple Swag

          • The Puce is Loose

          • Vote for Jeb

            Mauve Music

          • ^^^ I genuinely hope they call it that.

          • Vote for Jeb

            Plum Output

          • Dagon

            I want to continue but my language barrier is stopping me. I actually repeated purple cause I didn’t have any synonyms.

          • Fuschia Fusion

          • Vote for Jeb

            Royal Rekkid

          • Maroon Tune

          • Dagon

            Would not drive/10

        • Heroic Iron Boogers Of Doom

          No This Isn’t A Prince CD.

      • Dagon
      • Pagliacci is Kvlt

        That would be a great name for a massage parlor.

    • Grape Drank

    • Just to be dicks they should call it “Haha You Losers Thought We Were Going To Call This The Purple Album”.

    • JWEG

      People Eater: The Flying Musical

  • Dagon

    A lot of people think stuff don’t be happening but it do

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Touche….

      • Dagon

        This is more in my lane

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          It’s all good in the hood, bro.

  • Howard Dean

    Goatpenis is set to release a new EP (4 new tracks plus bonus live recordings) soon. Dunno the release date yet, but the title is Apocalypse War, and it’ll be a (mostly) Apocalypse Now themed release.

    Cover art:

    http://rs1014.pbsrc.com/albums/af262/adavis1134/GOATPENIS20APOCALYPSE20WAR20CD201_zpsihpw7dx4.jpg~320×480

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Goatpenis is the dummest fucking heck ever. I mean name. Period.
      Now Goat Semen is a wholly different matter altogether.

      • Dagon

        If they were called Goat Penis it would be a better name.

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          A little. A lot if it was Göat Peniz.

          • Dagon

            The Goat Penises

            An indie rock spin-off

        • Guacamole Jim

          Capra aegagrus hircus priapus

          • Dagon

            That should’ve been their debut album

      • Lacertilian

        Nope, Fuck The Facts takes the cake for me.
        Worst band name I’ve heard.

        • Sir Tapir The Based :]

          Eh, I’ve heard plenty of worse names.

          • Lacertilian

            Let’s hear ém o’ based one.

          • Sir Tapir The Based :]

            Pretty much every Nu Metal, Deathcore and Metalcore band names.

          • Lacertilian

            I demand examples!

          • Sir Tapir The Based :]

            A Job For A Cowboy, As Blood Runs Black, Bring Me The Horizon etc.

          • Lacertilian

            AJAC – at least it’s somewhat humerous, still a bit poo.
            ABRB – Nope, not anywhere near as bad.
            BMTH – I don’t enjoy their music but the actual band name is ok.

            You can do better..I know you can

          • Sir Tapir The Based :]

            Really? You think those are better names than Fuck the Facts? The fuck dude? I swear you Australians are weird as fuck.

          • Lacertilian

            It screams pubescent angst to me.
            Why would someone ever be against fact?
            Sounds like someone proved them wrong once and they got all sooky about it and slammed their bedroom door yelling “I hate you Mum, fuck the facts”.
            Don’t get me wrong, their music is pretty decent, I would probably be championing them if they were called almost anything else.

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          That’s actually good in some weird-ish way.

    • Triller! Movie is fantastic, its a shame i didn’t catch it until around 2014…

    • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

      I love the smell of Goatpenis in the morning.

  • Howard Dean

    Also: Mortuus, Abigor, Nightbringer, and Thy Darkened Shade will be releasing a split album this fall, rumored to be released by The AJNA Offensive. No other news at this moment.

    https://40.media.tumblr.com/ab453175fa1671c2bbee6149236c709a/tumblr_ntfkisyzz11rzepico1_540.jpg

  • CyberneticOrganism

    A Pregnant Light for Lipo Express Men’s Body Shaper Vest

    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/518IA0kAvZL._UL1500_.jpg

    • Dagon

      already preordered the granny beige and the child poo green ones

    • Heroic Iron Boogers Of Doom

      Gotta love how it accents the cancerous growth on his balls.

    • EsusMoose

      His facial expression seems to lack confident and be quite concerned. Do you want feel that way with your crotchless gymnastic outfit?

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      God damn my naughty parts gots a tingle.

  • I’m probably the only one that cares but Vision Of Disorder is mixing their new album with Zeuss. Not sure if that means the album will be out before the end of the year.

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    What no P.O.D mention, whats this blog coming to?

  • Also new Deftones possibly in November according to Chino.

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      I would like him to do another Palms album, I wonder if that’ll ever happen.

  • Heroic Iron Boogers Of Doom

    First time I’ve seen anyone link to Terrorizer. Good music on there, but their forums make

    Failure For Blogs look like a MENSA meeting.

  • 365chaosriddendays

    Cruciamentum reminds me albums in the vein of “Altars of Madness” and “Onward to Golgotha” in terms of sonic aggressiveness, another milestone of underground Death Metal.
    New Mgla release date is not distant from us, good and in case you are unaware, some news by Ævangelist, they will release their fourth album “Enthrall To The Void of Bliss” this october the 9th and here the artwork:

    • Vote for Jeb

      I’m very stoked about that new AEvangelist. It’s interesting that they’re on 20 Buck Spin now.

      • RJA

        I didn’t realize they were on 20 Buck Spin – that artwork alone is enough to get me to check it out – even if it wasn’t Ævangelist.

        • Vote for Jeb

          Writhes in the Murk was released by Profound Lore just last year. I can’t find any news about the switch.

      • 365chaosriddendays

        You are stoked because you like to walk in the path of evil, good, boy, good!

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      Any news on their split with Blut Aus Nord?

      • 365chaosriddendays

        Not yet, the title of the split is “Codex Obscura Nomina” but is the only news available at the moment (BAN’s facebook page) and is planned to be released this year via Debemur Morti Productions.

  • DCLXVI

    Cruciamentum (copypasta) crushes dicks

  • I was just thinking to myself yesterday GEE, I SURE WISH DECREPIT BIRTH WOULD PUT OUT A NEW ALBUM.

    • Same. I also wonder, “would I care?” Just like Necrophagist

      • Hey now, I’d say Decrepit Birth is worth a fair bit more than Necrophagist.

  • Super Nintendo Chalmers

    Tsjuder – Yessssss.
    Cruciamentum – Double yesssssss.
    Trent Reznor Halloween Costume – Twitter persona Ayyyyyy
    Baronesszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz – zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    Decrepit Birth – Stay tech.

  • The Haunting Presence of Tyree
  • Disgustache

    That Cruciamentum is siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.

  • Waynecro

    Decrepit Birth is neat!