News Roundup: Desaster, Candlemass, Behemoth, Stam1na And A Ton More

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ITT: News

Stam1na is preparing to launch their new album on March 18th. If you don’t know who Stam1na is, worry not, you will. In the meanwhile, you can spend the next three minutes and 32 seconds listening to “Kuudet Raamit“, the first single from Elokuutio. Stream below, or click the link if this won’t play in your part of the world.

“The Elokuutio is an innovation delivered to our doorsteps in the near-future. It’s free and self-aware. It lives and exists only if maintained by the society, in videos and photographs. It breeds by diving. The Elokuutio tells us who we are, what do we look like and who are our enemies. The Elokuutio is a lie.”

Just a heads up, it’s a 360-degree video.

____________________________________________________

Brymir has finally released new music. Their debut was released in 2011, and the sophomore was already teased with The Black Hammer two years ago(!), yet it seems that now Brymir will finally release more music through Ranka Kustannus. They’ve promised to deliver an album that is faster, darker, and with additional virtuosity.

____________________________________

Svarttjern has released a new song, from their upcoming album Dadskronk*, I mean DØDSKRIK. It’s some fancy, Tsjuder-esque black metal that you can stream below.

If these guys ever happen by your neck o’ the woods, do yourself a favour and go see them. It’s not everyday you’ll get to see a black metal band that actually look like they’re having fun on the stage.

____________

Other News Items

  • A new Perturbator album will be released by Blood Music on May 6th. You can view the slightly-NSFW cover art for The Uncanny Valley here, and listen to a teaser for the album here. Or just jam “She Moves Like A Knife“. A bonus EP will also be released digitally, as well as in a bundle with the actual album; it’ll include a few new original songs, some alternate versions and a demo.
  • Desaster is going to release The Oath of an Iron Ritual on April 15th. Stream a song – Damnatio ad Bestiashere.
  • Sylosis has a new song out, debuting their new drummer I think. No word on a new album. Check it out if you really, really, really like Sylosis.
  • On the 25th day of the 3rd month of the year 2016 will Rise Above records release Blood Ceremony’s new album, Lord of Misrule. You can stream “Old Fires” off of it. Didn’t this band use to have a flute?
  • Nergal of Behemoth is working on a country album of all things. Check out his cowboy slimslamhimham over here and here.
  • You can stream The Great Deceiver, the new album by the DS-genius-turned-Industrial rocker Mortiis in full here.
  • The Man-Eating Tree has a new line-up. Joining the band on bass is Altti Veteläinen (from Eternal tears of Sorrow, wouldn’t mind if this meant the appearance of vocal harmonies as well), Jami Heikkala of Corpset on guitars, and Marko Sneck, known from such bands as Kalmah, Poisonblack and Stargazery, on keyboards.
  • Al Jourgensen’s new band Surgical Meth Machine has a new song out. Check it out if you really, really, really liked Uncle Al’s most recent endeavors. It’s also not “a super-hyper-ADHD-blastbeat Ministry” like he promised. Just regular Ministry.
  • Leif Edling is not content with resurrecting Candlemass in the studio and touring with/making a name for Avatarium. Now he’s also got a solo-project going on. Check out this video that’ll get you some info about The Doomsday Kingdom.
  • Death metal veterans Convulse will be releasing a new album, Cycle of Revenge, on March 18th – you can stream a new song here. Alas, I’m not feeling this anymore than I was feeling their other single, Pangaea.
  • Nocturnal Graves is going to visit the US for a few dates. Be there or be square or smth. They also have a new two-song EP out; it’s only physically available on the US tour.

Nocturnal Graves US tour

 

* Yes Dubz, my dear. I did steal your joke, that’s the kinda man I am.

  • Dubs

    That’s a lot of money for a baggie of salt.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus™

      … bath salts.

  • “Nergal of Behemoth is working on a country album of all things.”

    That somehow is not surprising in the fucking least.

    • ME GORAK B.C.™

      GORAK DISAPPROVE OV SILLY GIMMICK!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Hubert

      Hubert approves this silly gimmick

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      Top tracks:
      !. If the Devil Danced in Empty Pockets, He’d Have a Ball in Mine
      2. Sidesaddle Satan
      3. If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead?

      • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

        Blood Red Sacrificial Dixie Cup
        Boot Scootin’ Apostasy.
        A Gaahl Named Sue

        • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

          Haha, these are superior! Boot scoot apostasy…

          • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

            I’m waiting for him to stomp his boots, spit in a spittoon while he’s ripping up the Bible, shooting his six shooters and yelling “woooooooooo weeeeeeee little doggies!”. He’s gotta have at least one video where he battles Satan on the fiddle. Or would he be challenging Jesus to one?

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            Nergal vs Jeebus for sure! Round 1.

    • Rob M

      Clearly Behemoth needs more songs about ass kicking and whiskey drinking

      • I predict a tour with Hank III.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Hank III is better at country than Nergal and David Vincent are.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Hank III is the best modern country artist. Brad Paisley and Keith Urban can go fuck themselves.

          • DEAD.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            My statement slayed me too.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            GAAAAH

          • Ha. Ha. Ha.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            NO

          • I have a buddy who’s last name is Hankinson. He and his wife are expecting a baby boy in 2 months. I have been petitioning him to name him Hank Hankinson. Alas, I have been about as successful as you convincing me to name my daughter Jamie (or whatever it was you wanted me to name her).

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            What did you name her anyway?

          • That I cannot divulge.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Damnit. When will we know?

          • n3v3r 3v3r, brO.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Can we please know at some point?

          • n3v3r 3v3r, brO.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Fine.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Nergal is the new Corey Taylor.
      5+ yrs ago: “VOID EVIL LEFT HAND OV GOD AND SATAN RAAAR”
      Today: “Sup bro, I own a salon and I’m starting a country band.”

      • I would love to hear Nergal’s equivalent to Stonesour. Maximumlolbuttz would ensue.

  • Spear

    I’m enjoying that Brymir tune. Kinda reminds me of Wintersun minus the synths.

    • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

      That’d sound exactly like Immemorial, which was Jari’s band before Wintersun. Many of the same songs, just without keyboards.

    • Will check it out!

  • Sir Tapir The Based

    That new Stam1na song ain’t bad, but I’ve heard much better songs from them.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      I’ve played it a tom and I’m not sure.
      A shame they said they left the heaviest song out.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Desaster are playing a few select dates in the US as well.

  • Leif Edling is a beast, man. The guy was having health issues last year and he is now up for more projects.

  • Rob M

    I cant take any band that uses a number in the middle of their name seriously

    • That doesn’t apply for Destroyer 666.

    • Hubert

      Stam-one-a

      • Rob M

        Still deciding if thats better or worse

        • Hubert

          Both and neither

    • Dubs

      D3athsp3ll Om3ga

      • dankspell omega

        • Edward/Breegrodamus™

          Deathspell Odankdank

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Dongspell Kongmega

        • *somethingwittydongdongsomething*

          jahuehue

        • Is the “Dong” the new “Pepe” here at the Toilet?

          • that’s all i need to hear, time for you to rejoin the FB group

    • ME GORAK B.C.™

      1349 KINDA COOL!!!!! THEY WHOLE NAME IZ NUMBER!!!!!!!!!

      • they’re no Strapping Young Lad, but i really dig 1349

        • Sir Tapir The Based

          The proof is presenting itself to me.

        • ME GORAK B.C.™

          HELLFIRE BADASS!!!!!!!!!!

          • That album ain’t bad. I mostly listened to it for the drumming back in high school.

      • Rob M

        Not a huge fan…Frost is a beast on the kit, but I find them generic as hell

        • I agree. Whoever played drums for them when they played with Marduk a few years back in the States was somehow better than Frost. Dude was a beast on those blasts.

        • ME GORAK B.C.™

          ME CAN SEE THAT!!!!! THEY NOT DO MUCH NEW, GORAK STILL THINK THEY ROCK THOUGH!!!!!!!!!!

    • brotip: hold the SHIFT key whilst typing a number in the middle of one’s name, I.E. Ke$ha (sure she changed it… but we can’t let her escape the past that easily)

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      Tbf I’m psure Stam1na doesn’t want you to take them seriously.

  • Another awesome festival overseas.

    THRONE FEST 2016: http://www.thronefest.be/bands

    • Rob M

      Damn, fucking Plaga!

  • ME GORAK B.C.™

    GORAK HAIL SVARTTJERN!!!!!!!!

  • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

    And the news you’ve all been praying for: Iggy Pop posed nude for an NYC art college. You can Google that yourself, the article I saw about it on Fark had an actual picture of him posing in the buff. #RIPTopBunk

    • more beer

      That is horrifying.

      • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

        I made the ultimate sacrifice for the Toilet: seeing him naked in an article so you don’t have to. I seriously thought it was going to be a joke since it was on Fark, but fuck, how wrong I was. My boner may never recover.

        • more beer

          No one needs to see a 68 year old man naked. Plus he looked horrible in the 70’s and time has not been kind to him.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            It’s a horrifying scene.

          • more beer

            What Punk?

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            No, Iggy Pop naked. That scene in my mind will haunt my dreams.

          • more beer

            You didn’t actually have to picture it. That is a nightmare of your own doing!

          • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

            Between the cartoon on that Jeff Walker country cd, and pictures of Iggy Pop naked, there’s gonna be an earthquake in the Boston area coming from Jimmy’s top bunk.

          • more beer

            Except neither JJD nor JJM are from the Boston area.

          • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

            Doh! I thought he was from around that way. :-p

          • more beer

            Nope St Louis and New York.

          • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

            Haha no, McNulty’s in Southside Chicago, remember? 😉

        • Thanks… I guess.

        • Rob M

          …see what happens when you go and try to be a hero

          • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

            When you try to be a hero, your boner curls up and dies?

          • Rob M

            …apparently

    • “You can Google that yourself”.

      No, thanks.

      • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

        Good idea! It’s truly the stuff of nightmares.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Well shit. I’m never going to look at him the same way.

      • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton
        • I’m just going to go ahead and collapse this.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Jesus goddamned christ what the fuck is wrong with his skin

          • Rob M

            He’s made out of candle wax and the hot lights are melting him?

          • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

            I would say age, but his skin’s always looked like chewed up leather even in the 70’s.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          I feel violated.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Anyone else ever seen this before?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWFosb98Kec

    • Rob M

      Career change here I come!

    • Woah! The Karate kid went necro as fuck.

    • “…so you go to a magic shop where they…like um… skulls and everything”

      /dead

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Stay in school, kids.

    • sweetooth0

      this is probably a little bit too interesting to me…

  • Paris Hilton

    Nergal’s country music cannot be worse than David Vincent’s.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oe7EH11dAs

    Call it a hunch or call me crazy, but I think Nergal’s country album will actually be fairly good. Despite the fact that it’s illegal to operate vehicles or heavy machinery while listening to Behemoth due to boredom induced drowsiness, Nergal is a sound songwriter.

    Besides, it could be Bro-Country and having Nergal write songs like “Copenhagen in Copenhagen” or “Wild Whiskey Girl feat. Trace Atkins & Gretchen Wilson” would be fucking hilarious. I’d buy that shit on the release date.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Jeff Walker’s Welcome To Carcass Cuntry is marvelously awesome a country album as well.

        • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

          King 810 went country? ^^^^^

      • Paris Hilton

        Lots of studio country musicians in Nashville get their starts or are actively in rock/metal. Say what you want about modern country but it does have some the best production on the planet, if I were an S-rank musician I’d throw down a few easy chops for dat Carrie Underwood $$$

        • Paris,

          🙁

          GL

          • Paris Hilton

            I’ve attached all the fucks I’ve given via photo. See below:

          • See below? You mean RFI? no “…..” HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW.

            *MIND EXPLODES*
            *INTERNET IMPLODES*
            *BLACK HOLE OF LONGING IS CREATED*
            *NEW NECROPHAGIST ALBUM IS RELEASED*
            *DONALD TRUMP DIES OF HEART ATTACK*

          • Maik Beninton™

            Pro tip: if you go to her profile, you will see that, it’s nothing.

          • I am lost, even with your pro tip!

      • Edward/Breegrodamus™

        No kidding?

      • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

        There’s a Jeff Walker cuntry alberm?!?!?!?! Just when I thought Firebird was bad enough.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      David Vincent lives in a cave and plays butt metal… no wait that’s Mortiis

  • 365ChaosRiddenDays

    No news about Nergal and Behemoth speaking about Metal music, in the meantime an individual song from an album who deserves to be mentioned in all ages, Exercise number VI:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yguSkVd2rk

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Saw this a few days ago. Intense and the best track on that album.

    • Dental_Damnation

      Again with the Mgla. I’ve been here two days in a row now and it’s all you mouth breathers keep going on about.

  • Josh from Sylosis confirmed that the song is just to showcase the new drummer and that they aren’t currently recording an album or anything 🙁

  • @nordlingritesovkarhu:disqus i still like that Stam1na band, new material included!

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      I believe that it will be a good.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Hell yeah on new Perturbator; I dig the dual Hallgrímskirkja on the cover

  • Blood Ceremony >>>>>

    • DVRKBEVRD

      thats what we were missing while you were gone

      • A lack of weed monsters and doom.

        • DVRKBEVRD

          and KJs love of SATAN

          • Fuck! I am shame.

          • DVRKBEVRD

            Cult of Fire, Blood of Kingu, and Sammath showed up today

          • Damn, you are on a roll with the records lately. Well done sir.

          • DVRKBEVRD

            yeah im going to have to dial it back after taxes

          • Good call. Since I’m not going to MDF anymore I’ll save over a grand. Plus my tax refund.

          • DVRKBEVRD

            well, im getting back way more from taxes than past years, so ill probably put in one big order and probably go get a little ink and thatll be it for a little

          • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

            You’re the last person on Earth I’d expect to stop going to MDF. From what I can tell it’s like Hajj and Mecca for you.

          • Hells Headbangers is becoming a new favorite. So much more chill, plus the bands are more my taste.

          • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

            Didn’t know they had a fest.
            I’ve thought about going to MDF for a while, but I’d have to Greyhound it, book a room and all that not so fun shit. Might go to Lunatic Luau with my roomies this summer, which is about the only metal fest here in VA. Mostly mainstream radio metal bands, but they bring in some of the classic bands here and there.

          • SATAN. (rfi)

          • Hail Tannis root.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Have you read my blog yet? I started a classic rock blog called the Dad Rock Revue. I’m doing my best to promote it wherever I can. I wrote a new article for it today that you should give a read.

            http://dadrockrevue.blogspot.com/2016/03/a-look-at-new-riders-of-purple-sage.html

          • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

            So basically it’s Ultimate Classic Rock, Jr.?

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            No as it covers much different artists than they do.

          • If there’s stuff that interests me, I’ll check it out.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      This new song was way worse than anything they’ve done before. I used to dig ’em but this is average at best retro rawk.

      • Perhaps the rest of the album will be better?

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          I hope so, but even the sound has changed semk-fundamentally.
          We’ll see, but I dare not hope.

  • DVRKBEVRD

    huh, i was just jamming old Mortiis the other night.

    blech

    • Boogers Moshing In A Crouton

      His Vond stuff is good, if you’re into dark classical stuff. His solo stuff has always been very lolbuttz, though. And the fact that he dresses up like a transgender Grandpa Munster doesn’t help.

  • Pagliacci is Kvlt

    In other news, Shadow Woods is shaping up nicely this year. Tengger Cavalry was a nice surprise today, and I think the best is yet to be announced. Second round of tickets goes on sale this weekend. The 1st round of 100 sold out in 24 hours. Don’t wait.

    Lineup (so far):

    A Sound of Thunder (DC/VA)

    Acid Witch (Detroit)

    Athame (MD/WV)

    Blood Storm (PA/TX)

    Bound By The Grave (Baltmore)

    Cemetery Filth (TN)

    Cemetery Piss (Baltimore)

    Coffin Dust (DC/Philly)

    Corpse Light (Baltimore)

    Darsombra (MD)

    Destroyer of Light (Austin, TX)

    Empyreus (Chicago)

    Faith in Jane featuring Wino (MD)

    Genevieve (MD)

    Grave Gnosis (St. Petersburg, FL)

    Haxen (RI)

    Helleborus (Manitou Springs, CO)

    Myopic (DC)

    Sacrificial Blood (NJ)

    Sapremia (NJ)

    Teloch Vovin (NY)

    Temple of Void (Detroit)

    Tengger Cavalry (NY/Mongolia)

    T.O.M.B (PA)

    Wizard Eye (PA)

    Xeukatre (Baltimore)

  • Pentagram Sam

    Fucking Beargod motherfucker! At the mere mention of a reminder of the new Perturbator I just haaaaad to go check on Amazon. The way you worded it made it seem like there was a physical release and for some dumbassard reason I thought they were all digital. Sooooo while checking on the new one I ordered a triple shot of Perturbator thru the market place.

    I eagerly await mailmanbro with physical cds of Sexualizer, Dangerous Days, and I Am The Night. So esscited.

  • Guacamole Jim

    That Stam1na video is fucking cool!!