News and New Music Hustle: 2015’s Death Rattles with Neurosis,Kayo Dot, Hopelorn, Vale of Pnath, and More!

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We’re staring straight at 2015’s bootyhole, waving goodbye to all the hopes and joys we’ve experienced this year. 2016 and the disappointments it will bring are just around the corner, so let’s get right to the final effluent of music news.

Sludge masters and genre grounbreakers Neurosis went into the studio today (December 27th) to record their 11th (depending on how you classify the Neurosis/Jarboe split) album. I am giddy like a schoolboy about this news; Honor Found in Decay knocked my gloomy socks clear off and crushed them into argyle singularities. I have no doubt the next effort will be equally monumental. In additional news from Camp Neurot, Neurosis are going to be doing a number of concerts to commemorate their 30th anniversary, including a short tour here in the US, special shows in San Francisco, and a festival appearance in Europe. Stay tuned to Neurot Records to keep track of when tickets go on sale. If you, for some reason, just can’t wait to celebrate the band’s legacy, you can now pay an exorbitant amount to get a limited collector’s box set of their entire discography. This is a pretty neat collection if you decide not to blow all your money on a new yacht.

NEUROSIS Tour Dates:
3/04/2016 Regency Ballroom – San Francisco, CA W/ Sleep [SOLD OUT]
3/05/2016 Regency Ballroom – San Francisco, CA w/ Shellac [SOLD OUT]
3/06/2016 Regency Ballroom – San Francisco, CA w/ Converge, Negative Approach [tickets]

4/15/2016 Hat Patronaat – Tilburg, NL *STEVE VON TILL and SCOTT KELLY solo performances [tickets]
4/16/2016 013 – Tilburg, NL [tickets]
4/17/2016 013 – Tilburg, NL [tickets]
8/11/2016 Festa Radio Onda D’Urto – Brescia, IT [tickets]
8/13/2016 Oya Festival – Oslo, NO [tickets]
8/20/2016 Motocultor Festival – St. Nolff, FR [tickets]
8/21/2016 Amplifest – Porto, PT [tickets]

Kayo Dot, masters of prog weirdness, are in the studio. Their last album, Coffins on Io, was a big hit around these parts, so we’re stoked to see what Driver and friends have up their sleeves for this next release. You can check out the studio update via Facebook below.


Our pal Daniel Z.’s record label Absolute Contempt is set to drop their next release on December 31st. Demons, the latest entry from crusty death metal monster Hopelorn kicks all kinds of booty. If you want to hear raw death metal of the Swedish kind with black metal sensibilities and punky attitude, Demons is the bag for you. There are a ton of really cool moments across this album, so don’t sleep on it if you’re a fan of crust, OSDM, or black metal.


Opne of Jack Bauer’s favorite tech death banpds, the pnasty Vale of Pnath, successfully completed their Kickstarter campaigpn to record a pnew album for $7,000, clocking ipn at $8,277. I guess people wapnted to see what sort of pnihilistic and violepnt tupnes the bapnd is capable of copnjuring for this, the sequel to The Prodigal Empire. If you arepn’t familiar with this Depnver upnit’s pnecromapncical brapnd of weedly-deedly, check out “Sightless” below.

Other Poop

  • Baard Kolstad, drummer extraordinaire for Borknagar/Leprous, apparently posted a picture of his bootyhole to Facebook. This news is not important in any way, but if you’re easily amused, I hope you got a laugh out of it. For what it’s worth, the drummer has since removed the image and apologized for the “pranking” on his personal Facebook account, so you weirdos hoping to see a screencap of the picture have missed out.
  • Vod, my Canadian bff, just recently dropped another new track. This one is a corruption of “O Holy Night”, and if you dig Dave Tremblay’s other warped output, you’re sure to love the rhythmic perversion of the classic hymn.
  • Hells Headbangers is set to release Communion by Armoured Angel next month. Pre-order it here.
  • Gloria Morti just announced Kuebiko for a March release on Willowtip Records.
  • The Jon Schnepp (Metalocalypse, Venture Bros.)-directed video for “The Paladin” by Pilgrim has been released. As with any other music video, you have the option of just jamming the righteous tunes rather than actually watching it. You can decide to do either below.

Let me know how irrelevant music news is to your life or what I missed in the comments below.

(Photos VIA and VIA, VIA, VIA, VIA)

  • COAL ROLL

    Monday; get back to work.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Playing Mercyful Fate’s The Beginning on a portable record player. Rad.

      • COAL ROLL

        a little bit of the King too

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          How does the portable player sound?

          • COAL ROLL

            the built in spkrs are shit, but with headphones or plugged into my regular stereo it sounds great.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Okay, right on. I’ve been wanting to get one, but didn’t know if they were any good.

          • COAL ROLL

            the portability of it alone is worth the admission

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Now that is a cool cubicle.

      • Dubs

        A coolbicle.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Exactly.

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          Cubicool?

          • Dubs

            Dangit, that’s better than mine.

    • Is that a full fucking stack? Or just a poster?

      • COAL ROLL

        Just a poster. It’s rolled up a the bottom because it’s taller than my cube walls. The full fucking stack is at home.

    • /notenoughdieselsmoke

    • more beer

      To me even with the cool stuff in it. It still looks like being locked in a cell. For 8 hours a day.

      • I’ve worked in an open office plan for the last 5 years. I yearn for tiny walls to protect me from the unwashed masses.

        • At one of our “climate” surveys two years back, there were a number of people clamoring to get doors put on all our cubes…. they way no one could ever talk to anyone. Maxlolz

        • more beer

          I work outside and don’t have to punch a clock. Which works much better for me.

          • Better for you and your hands!

            #punchingjoke

          • more beer
          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Black Flag!

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            You and i are livin the dream, more beer

          • more beer

            Yes we are.

          • I don’t know man. It is raining like a mother flusher right now and I am comfy as a cat. I will take the cube!

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Are you a witch? Your body is like 75% water

          • It is 35F out bro! RAIN AND SHIT IS COLD.

          • Dubs

            My city (which I’m not currently in) declared a state of disaster. It’s a snowmageddon.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Im jelly

          • *weathercirclejerkinstensifies*

          • Dubs

            Tornadoes in North Texas, blizzards in West Texas…

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            It’s pretty calm where i am right now, we had a little snow this morning though.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Its still almost 70f in fucking january, my anger knows no end

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Well, it was 75f where i was yesterday morning, but it quickly dropped as i headed back home.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            It shouldnt be getting above 55f at any point since a couple weeks ago

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            True.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Average high for asheville in december is 46.4f, its been almost 70 for all of the month.

          • more beer

            It’s 14 degrees here. I would gladly trade.

          • WEATHERCIRCLEJERK! WEATHERCIRCLEJERK! WEATHERCIRCLEJERK! WEATHERCIRCLEJERK!

            YIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Id take it over a year of all summer

          • Dubs

            I just barely dodged that snow storm when I left CO on Saturday.

          • more beer

            I saw some bad accidents on Friday going to Christmas dinner. The roads were a mess in Denver.

          • COAL ROLL

            For a nice warm cubicle to work in today? huehuehuehue

          • more beer

            I’m not working in this. I’m sitting in my living room. Talking to everyone here getting blazed.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Not working until tomorrow so I’m doing the same thing.

          • more beer

            I have to go out and get some packing materials. But that is only going from my truck into the post office and the store.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’ll trade you, 32F here right now..

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            30 & ICE-RAIN IN OHIO!!!!!!! GORAK HIDE IN CAVE NEAR FIRE!!!!!!!!!

          • I am just grumpy because we have had three days on semi non-stop rain since Saturday. All my god damn trees I planted are under 3-4 foot of water (being that the river has come up 12 foot). Which is nothing to really complain about. But I am going to complain away!

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            Some HAARP system employee must not like Texas.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            And floods, last I heard. Stay safe!

          • COAL ROLL

            It’s supposed to snow here tonight.

          • I will have to take a picture of the flooding tonight. I imagine it will not crest till sometime tomorrow. Shit is unreal.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Damnit.

          • COAL ROLL

            I’m close to you, but my elevation brings me snow frequently when it rains in the Hudson Valley

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I hate the snow and the rain.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Not really. It’s more or less the same here since spring this year, and no hurricane season. Can’t complain.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            It’s nice and sunny out in my city.

          • Salvador Dalí Lama

            We’re enjoying nice spring weather up here in a place where it probably should be snowmageddon around this time of year.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Snow, floods, and blizzards in TX, yet it’s 75 here in VA and no hurricanes the last two years. And milder than usual in Chicago. ODD!

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED
          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            SAME HERE!!!!!!!!!!! IT SUCK BIG ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • more beer

            If the weather is really bad. I don’t work. I am good with that.

          • If we started a “but the weather in my state is the worst” circle jerk, this day would be downright perfect.

          • more beer

            The weather actually isn’t that bad here most of the time. It is just colder than usual right now.

          • The weather in NJ has been mild so far. I don’t think we’ve had tempertures below 40 yet. I will be happy if not a single snowflake falls this winter.

        • COAL ROLL

          there was talk of that happening here, and then the company president remembered that it would mean everyone would see him playing chess online all day.

          • There is a checkmate joke somewhere in that story… .I just cannot put a finger on it. I must be a rook(ie)!

          • just stop your white knight-ing for one day

          • WE ARE JUST PAWNS IN THIS GAME, JJM. WE CANNOT STOP

          • My company has planned on doing this too. They say it’s to promote synergy or some bullshit like that. I will enjoy the high walls of my cube prison until then.

        • ME GORAK B.C.™
        • more beer

          It sounds like working in a Petri Dish.

          • You’re not wrong. My immune system is permanently wrecked.

          • more beer

            You gotta figure. A good number of your coworkers have kids. They bring all sorts of nasty things home. Then they bring their little angels germs to all they come in contact with.

          • COAL ROLL

            lol I was thinking the same thing. Imagine working in a day care?

          • more beer

            I can’t even imagine have children of my own. So that is not even an option.

          • Dubs

            I teach a class to kindergartners and tutor high school students. Combine that with my wife working in the medical field, and we are constantly being assailed by germs.

          • more beer

            Just you with the kids is plenty. But your wife comes in contact with some really nasty things. I huge suggestion if she doesn’t do it already. Is leave her shoes outside the door or in the garage. Hospital floors are really nasty.

          • Óðinn

            I tutor academic writing and learning strategies at the university. I love it. I may start tutoring younger kids too. Didn’t think about the germs though. Oh well, I can’t live in a bubble.

          • Yeah man. And there’s a pervasive culture in private business that taking a sick day is a sign of weakness or something. Fuck that, don’t infect me you plague-ridden bastards.

          • more beer

            I couldn’t agree more. Just because that is your little bundle of joy it’s not mine. Your kid is Typhoid Mary as far as I’m concerned.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            And then add in the people who don’t have their children vaccinated against anything, then it’s a real party!

          • more beer

            Very true. There is a lot of that here from what I understand.

          • more beer

            Check your email something there for you

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            10-4, got it.

          • COAL ROLL

            where do you work? round these parts taking a sick day (if you’re really sick) shows that you care about your colleagues health. Must be all the libtards here in new england

          • Óðinn

            You’re lucky. Liberals are great. I fucking hate teabaggers and republicans.

          • Óðinn

            Yeah. It varies depending on where you work. I worked in one place where they assumed you were faking any time you took a sick day. That sucked.

            More recently, I’ve worked in offices where they don’t want you to spread viruses to everybody else, and they encourage you to actually stay home if you’re sick.

        • Guacamole Jim

          I think the moral of the story is that office work sucks balls, with or sans cubicles.

          • Óðinn

            True. It’s spending 8 hours a day with people you can’t stand and doing shit you don’t want to do

        • Óðinn

          …or an office with a door.

      • COAL ROLL

        creature comfort alleviate that to some degree

        • more beer

          I can see that. Being stuck in a place like that just isn’t for me.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Walls cannot hold the mighty more beer.

          • more beer

            I would go fucking nuts.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Understandably. I haven’t worked a cubicle/desk job, and consider myself lucky.

          • more beer

            I just do’t think I could do it. I like to be outside.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            With proper oxygen.

          • more beer

            That too!

          • COAL ROLL

            Thankfully for me, I’ve been here long enough, and make enough money for the company that spending the majority of my week at my desk is a choice. It’s actually harder to stack this much paper outside of an office setting with distractions

          • more beer

            The only paper work I have to do is invoicing. To get paid for my work. I do because that is a necessary evil not because I want to.

          • COAL ROLL

            By stacking paper I was referring to making money. Real paperwork is handled by an assistant.

            I’m the sales lead at an ad agency so I spend most of my work time on the phone taking credit for other peoples work and making empty promises. Capitalism.

          • more beer

            I do rather well for myself working in construction. I should actually hire an assistant. But I am greedy and will just do all the work. Then keep all the money.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Thats about all the paperwork i do too

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            I did a little paperwork (schedules, prep lists, inventory) at my last job back home, and a shitload of it for the music management and promotion thing plus the side job I had back in 2002. The last one didn’t last long though.

    • COAL ROLL BE ALL LIKE, “BOSS, I NEED TWO TRASH RECEPTACLES. ONE FOR RECYCLABLES AND ONE FOR THE POSERS I SLAY.”

      • COAL ROLL

        recycling? good one

      • Oh, recycling is useless. Once the sun burns out, this planet is doomed. You’re just making sure we spend our last days using inferior products.

    • ┼yree

      Is that a Morbid Angel poster?

      • COAL ROLL

        yep, from an old Metal Maniacs magazine. Has Grave on the other side. I have a whole bunch of old magazine posters. I flip them from time to time to keep it frosty here

    • Lacertilian

      Doesn’t look like work.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    So yeah, it’s Monday and shit. Lets discuss……

    • Maik Beninton™

      It’s Monday and it looks like it’s gonna rain.

      http://assets.naointendo.com.br/uploads/post-assets/3823/Fuck.gif

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Yes, cloudy with a chance of fuck off.

      • ┼yree
        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          That’s the finger she uses to play with her man in the boat….

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            And with Baard’s bootyhole.

        • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

          Uhmmff

        • Catastrophic Buttsekx

          Gah, what happened to her arm?!?! Did Aubrey Plaza start doing krokodil?!?!? She’s some Keith Richards hands right there.

    • Catastrophic Buttsekx

      Just another manic Monday. Wish it were a Sunday. That’s my fun day..

    • COAL ROLL

      Did you see Baard’s void-hole bro?

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Who the hell is Baard?

        • COAL ROLL

          See: Other Poop

    • It’s Monday and I should’ve called out sick and extended my 4 day weekend into 5.

    • ┼yree

      Beer, metal, pooping, pissing, sleeping, Isis, boobs, work, endless Star Wars fuckery, not seeing the whole world burn another day, butts, farts, taxes, rent, pretending to be a decent human at work, not fucking, not trying, trying too hard, giving up, and so on.

      Pretty much just total death and garbage as usual.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        You speak in waves of poetry. Nuke everything……

      • Boss the Albatross Ross

        Hmm, well put.

      • Catastrophic Buttsekx

        I’m reading that to the tune of Billy Joel’s ‘We Didn’t Start The Fire’ in my head.

  • ┼yree

    2015: Another year of successfully dying.

  • Catastrophic Buttsekx

    The year will not be complete until Guac’s battle-bruised buttcheeks fight Baard’s cosmic bootyhole in a battle to the death, Celebrity Deathmatch style.

  • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

    Lots of bootyhole talk already today

  • Catastrophic Buttsekx

    Since the Baard bootyhole pics are now gone (unless some brave soul here Googles them), here is a dramatic re-creation:

    http://37.media.tumblr.com/1bfe50b10a804394dfef440c34692775/tumblr_n4veofYJA51qmwidzo1_250.gif

  • Eliza

    How do you pronounce Pnath?

    • JWEG
      • Boss the Albatross Ross

        No, no it’s pronounced Pnath.

        • Catastrophic Buttsekx

          It’s pronounced ‘Jones’.

        • more beer

          It’s pronounced phhtt! The first time I saw these guys was at Denver Black Sky II. This fest is run like a well oiled machine. 2 stages. When one band goes off the band on the other stage starts. Besides them making a bunch of noticeable mistakes. They decided they should play longer than their allotted time. The sound guy was trying to get them to finish up and they just kept playing. Then started playing another song. They had to completely cut the sound on them. To allow the next band on the main stage to play. I found this totally unprofessional and selfish. For them to cut into In The Company of Serpents set was really shitty on their part. They were not invited back to this years festival as a lot of the local bands were. For them acting entitled. I make it a point to miss them, whenever they are playing with someone I want see.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Damn, that is rather shitty and unprofessional of them. I won’t even waste my time with them.

          • more beer

            That totally turned me off to them. If turned a couple of people on to these guys. If you want tech death from Denver. Yea the drummer is one of the Vale of Pnath guys. But they slay. http://vimanaofficial.bandcamp.com/

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I believe I read one of your recommendations of them before.

          • more beer

            Did you listen to it? It is very good.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I believe i did the first time around. I will give it a more detailed listen tomorrow for sure.

          • more beer

            Right on.

      • Eliza

        I had something like “P-nath” in mind.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Probably techy poopy diddly doo.

      • Eliza

        Makes sense.

    • Catastrophic Buttsekx

      P-nath, but you have to say it like Sylvester The Cat.

      • Eliza

        Hmm

      • Boss the Albatross Ross

        Definitely the answer you’re looking for

    • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

      Just dont listen to em and you wont have to worry about it

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      I assume its the usual Lovecraft deal where to pronounce it correctly is to lose ones mind.

      • Boss the Albatross Ross

        Yes.

      • Eliza

        Something like that, probably.

    • Catastrophic Buttsekx
      • Eliza

        XD

  • Boss the Albatross Ross
    • more beer

      A friend of mine sent me a text saying he had tickets to that show. I was a little jealous.

      • Boss the Albatross Ross

        So am I. And i don’t even know the guy.

        • more beer

          Hahaha!!! But he was more jealous. When I told him I was seeing Pig Destroyer.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Haha, right on!
            Though, if given the option, I would go to the Sleep/Neurosis show. And hope beyond hope that they would jam a Shrinebuilder song together.

          • more beer

            Both of those bands come thru here pretty often. It was Pig Destroyers first time here ever. So I would pick that show because of that.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Ah, that makes perfect sense.

            I haven’t seen any of them.

    • BOSS!

      Do you have a social network profile or a mail in which I can personally thank you for the gift?

      Woops!

      • Boss the Albatross Ross

        I am not a social networkee, but feel free to email me at bosstheross54@gmail.com

        • 🙂

          Done!

          Thanks again, friendo!!

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Of course!

      • Boss the Albatross Ross

        Please send me your bandcamp email to my email, i tried sending something else, but it acted up.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Hopelorn is flensing my butt! Feral highs, gravesick lows, bleak riffs, sawing tone, spot on.

    • I like your application of the words flensing and gravesick. That is all.

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    We’re sure enjoying us some booty hole this morning. Are we still having a very booty Christmas?

  • ┼yree

    LLN band comment: A less known project here, but a really good one in my opinion. March to the Black Holocaust is still at the top in my opinion followed by Vampires of Black Imperial Blood but there are so many others you can dig out of the grit. Wish this demo in particular would get released again.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQkQuq63SCM

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Agreed.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      Some mighty powerful tortured gloom here!

      • ┼yree

        Indeed, it’s one of the more savage sounding projects in the LLN scene. So mean.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    I liked that Vale of Pnath, as I like the sound of a lot of tech death tunes individually posted, or bits and bobs I listen to on Thursdays, but it, like much tech death I encounter, somehow doesn’t quite persuade me I’d dig full albums. Nicely done, but not enough monstrous.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    News of a new Neurosis album makes my mouth drool the most excessively it has today.

    And that’s saying a lot, considering just an hour ago I was watching this video:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6omsDyFNlk

    • Catastrophic Buttsekx

      Ah, yes, I remember her from quite a while back! #TopBunkMemories

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        I actually completely forgot about her, until a friend of mine earlier today sent me a memo about some hot French singer back in the dayzzzz…

  • Vale of Pnath.

    Hold your tongue and say it.

    I dare you.

    GL

  • 2005!!! 10 years ago!!!!

    Holy moly!!!!

    GL
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzUxebre0aw

  • COAL ROLL

    Still only one post a day?

    • Looks like!

      • COAL ROLL

        will make for a long day of playing hoop-fap

        • I am doing planning for my deer tower I plan on building.

          It is strenuous work.

          See image for a representative design.

          http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y227/1fastgxr/Stand2.jpg

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            That looks very difficult.

          • Not for a full blooded American badass like me, son. Don’t you forget.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I won’t.

          • I kid, but yeah, should be a fun project.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Definitely. Looks like it will be.

          • The problem is committing to a location. I cannot decide.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Hmmm, that would be the hard part.

          • I might wait a year or two… that way I can try to pattern their movements a tad better… then optimize the location based on the observations.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Probably your best bet. That’ll be fun as well.

          • COAL ROLL

            my prediction is that once you have your kid, that year or two will become a decade or two

          • HA I will keep you in the loop

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Dokken is doing a festival up near Albany with a lot of bands. FFDP is the headliner and Dokken is not high on the bill. Megadeth, Anthrax, Clutch, Ghost, Log and many others will be there.

          • COAL ROLL

            Really? When? Is at Spac?

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            It’s not at SPAC. It is near there though. Here’s the poster.

          • Feel like Trivium got shafted on that bill.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            They did. They’re doing a show near me on the 13th. I’m going to buy a ticket soon.

          • COAL ROLL

            Damn bro that parking lot is gonna be thick with diesel smoke

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’m excited for Ghost.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            3 day show, 2 hours of good

          • A DEMO DERBY, PRO WRESTLING, AND FFDP????

            SIGN ME UP MOTHERFUCKER.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            This show is BYOMD (bring your own mountain dew

          • COAL ROLL

            They certainly are nailing the bill matchup with the regional demographics of this part of Upstate NY near the VT border

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Ooh, Pro Wrestling! Didn’t notice that.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Feat. JJD

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            3 bands I’d honestly go out of my way to see(Clutch, Anthrax, Ghost) and 3 bands I’m ok with sitting through(Megadeth, Wolfmother, Sevendust) Other than that, Meh.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I’d go to a Clutch/Anthrax/Ghost tour.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            As would I.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Is anthrax even good live anymore?

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            The Chile on Hell Blu-Ray was excellent.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I saw them 3 years ago and thought they were still good.

          • COAL ROLL

            There’s a guy on my facebook feed that says they are the best live. He also says that the Acacia Strain is the best band from his area.

            That’s why I believe everything I read on the internet.

          • Saw them on the Worship Music tour a few years ago. Definitely a good time. Wish they would’ve played more off of State of Euphoria but whatever.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            And i could actually see that happening, something about it just works well.

          • same, that could be a potential TovH meetup event!

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Yeah!

          • more beer

            I would much rather go to this 3 day fest.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            But, Clutch.

            However Ruins of Beverast would be a spectacle to behold and Verbal Abuse would be awesome.

          • more beer

            There is just way too much shit on that bill to have to see. In order to see very few good bands. That isn’t even the whole lineup for California Death Fest. There are still more to be announced.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Way to much shit indeed. I’m just giving you hell because Clutch.

          • more beer

            I know you are. That is just a shit storm of bad music.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            I would be fully onboard with that

          • more beer

            I am going to start getting my ducks a row. To go to this. The last one was excellent. This one will be more of the same.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’d go if it were nearer to me or if I could get a ride. Obviously I’d be cool with missing the headliner so I could even leave early.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I posted the poster below. It’s a three day festival.

          • COAL ROLL

            Not for Mr. Scary

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            That is true. He is a Dream Warrior after all.

          • HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA

          • COAL ROLL

            Cool. How much land do you have?

          • 31 acres

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Double nice!

          • Indeed!

          • COAL ROLL

            yeah that’s pretty awesome. My parents have space like that.

            My suburban plot of land is precisely .666 of an acre.

          • Aptly sized!

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Nice!

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Baitin shack

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Yay! Now I can tell everyone about my Quake playing!

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Quake is fun yet hard. I still haven’t tried the multiplayer yet. Quake 3 is still installing so I have to wait to play it.

    • ME GORAK B.C.™

      HAVENT PLAY IN 15 YEAR!!!!!!!! PLAYED LOTS UNTIL GOT UNREAL TOURNAMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • gud game + bonus soundtrack by NIN!

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I bought the first 3 for 10 bucks off GOG.

        • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

          I bet theres tons of private servers with people still playing

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I think there is. People love Quake still

    • I’m contemplating unearthing my old PC and formatting it so I could play some older games on it. First up would be Unreal Tournament.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Why don’t you buy Unreal Tournament on Steam? The whole series is currently 10 bucks

        • I still own a physical copy and want to mess around with it. There was a lot of user created content that you could add (maps, characters, voices,etc.). Can add all that with Steam?

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I don’t know.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Doubt it, bc steam is all serverside

          • That’s what I figured.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Why not try Virtual Box or something like that. A virtual machine while running Windows 98 or XP could still run faster than old hardware because you can allot more modern resources to it.

          • Never heard of that. I would set this primarily just to mess around with. The PC would be formatted with Windows XP so I’d start there and tweak the performance if needed. Time’s also an issue so I don’t know how much I’d get to use it.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Well, with a virtual machine / box, you would just launch it like software because it’s job is to emulate the environment in which to run a specific OS. You should really look into it because it doesn’t require a whole lot of resources and it would save you the time of having to fuck around with an old PC just to use XP.

          • Thanks for the info, that seems like it would be worthwhile. Definitely going to look into it.

          • Guppusmaximus

            No problem…Oracle provides a free version and they are no slouchers. I was thinking of f’ing around with it myself this weekend (Nnneeerrdd). Hell, I even loaded up some MAME roms this last weekend. Man, Ghouls ‘N’ Ghosts (MAME32 Plus Plus) @ 1920 x 1080p on a 55-inch screen is freaking awesome. Sorry, off point. The way they make virtual machine software nowadays it’s probably pretty self explanatory.

          • I loved playing Ghouls N’ Ghosts. One of the best side scrollers of all time!

          • can we all agree on fuck ghosts ‘n goblins? cause hard.

          • They were hard. I’m pretty sure I beat all three. They were fun though.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            ME HAVE STEAM VERSION!!!!!!! COULD CHECK FOR U IF U GOT SOMETHING IN MIND!!!!!!

    • COAL ROLL

      For the most authentic experience possible while paying Quake, keep this on repeat – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa9mEaNdgh4

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Coal Roll plz! Illus Divinum Insanus is the worst album ever!

        • COAL ROLL

          it was also influenced by Quake

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Goddamnit. Why would David Vincent take influence from a video game for any album? The soundtrack may be good but Morbid Angel isn’t Nine Inch Nails and David Vincent is NOT Trent Reznor!

          • COAL ROLL

            Trey, not David

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Fuck Trey and his idiocy.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Intro sounds like something from an old school Sierra game

        http://www.tawmis.com/onlinesierra/sierra2.jpg

  • Guppusmaximus

    “2016 and the disappointments it will bring are just around the corner”

    Don’t you realize that this website is responsible for ALL my happiness, so, when you guys write stuff like this it just becomes self prophetic. Can’t you see that I’m crying inside?! DAMN IT!! You need to use your powers for good… *sniff,sniff*

    • well….. Bolzer may release their first full-length this year (!)

      • Guppusmaximus

        I’ve never heard of them. Any recommendations?

          • Guppusmaximus

            The Black Metal drumming & that “howling” turned me off. The riff was pretty majestic though I would’ve love to hear it on top of some OSDM groove instead.What can I say, I’m just old & unsatisfied… Now get off my fucking lawn!! *smirk*

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Keep in mind they’re a two piece, and the guitarist/vocalist plays a 10 string BC Rich.

          • boggles the mind how two people create such a full sound

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            I think his chords in conjunction of it being a 10 string make for killer riffs!

          • COAL ROLL

            I have a 12 string Les Paul, and I think it’s pretty horrible for killer riffs

          • forsure, a lot of bands could benefit from less layering

          • Guppusmaximus

            Well, it definitely wasn’t a knock on them as musicians. It just takes a lot nowadays for me to get all worked up over an album. Plus, I find myself kinda steering away from Metal {well, I’ve been listening to it for 30+ years}

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Oh, I hear you, I was just pointing that.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Ahha… Well, as a fading musician, I always needed to hear the bass man. I always got bored jamming with just a guitarist especially when they would cut to a solo. Yea, a killer bassist always made things more interesting especially one with a pedal board / effects. Groove, man, groove.

        • COAL ROLL

          (off in a land far away, from a distant past, one former presidential candidate’s head explodes)

      • RJA

        Bolzer came to my mind for riff of the week, figured that would be cheating though right. I mean they don’t have a full length out but come on…

        • (shhh, that’s what I was going to Submit…)

          • COAL ROLL

            I remember some one called that riff the best riff of 2013

          • RJA

            everyone ignore my statement above!

        • I believe someone won using Bolzer in the past . . .

      • Phoenix of the House Tendies

        Don’t tease like that McNulty.

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    Pentagram Sam, you’re my main man…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCh7mXdyKrQ

    • Guppusmaximus

      Lo-Fi Deicide.

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        Yeah, but Seth Putnam is funnier than Deicide.

        • Guppusmaximus

          No doubt…It’s just what came to mind from the first time hearing this, ever. I’ll have to Google Seth Putnam.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Anal Cunt?

          • yes please

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Oh, you!

          • Guppusmaximus

            Prison will do that to ya…lol

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            LIKE NEW NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
            #CLUBSMASHOVAPPROVAL
            SOME 1 THINK WE SAME PERSON AGAIN!?!?!?! ME MISSED COUPLE WEEKS OV “AS THE TOILET FLUSHES”!!!!!!!!!! LAST ME HEER THEM THINK ME WUZ GORAK LYNCH OR SOMETHING!!!!!!

          • Guppusmaximus

            Yea, I didn’t put the two together at first. I wasn’t really into those guys back in the day. Well, it’s never too late to try again.

            Edit: To be fair, I was even less interested in Six Feet Under. Don’t ask me why. I’ll have to revisit their stuff as well to remember.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I don’t really care for them either. Satan’s Warrior’s was his earlier band. I prefer him when he’s making fun of Black Metal rather than just trying to troll people. Also, I hung out with him and mutual friends a lot in those days.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Yea, I definitely didn’t “get it” back then. Prolly cuz my lettuce be cereal ‘tude bout da Def Metulz and shit. Now, I could totally listen to this stuff with a smile. It’s a shame I missed the boat.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I actually hung out with their old drummer, Nate, a few months back. I was visiting a mutual friend to help out with PC issues he was having, and Nate was nice enough to give me a ride back to the commuter rail station after the work ran late and I missed the bus.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Oddly enough, the nicest dudes I met were always musicians or fans of psychotic music. I know it allows me to vent. Fucking stress relief. But, that’s cool…I hope he’s still active with music. He’s got chops.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’m pretty sure he is, just not sure what.

          • Guppusmaximus

            “I wonder what a cock rock album would sound like if it was fronted by a perpetually vomiting goblin”

            Didn’t AC/DC (w/ Brian Johnson) already cover that ground?!

          • Damn! Good point!

          • Guppusmaximus

            Yea, that ‘Fuckin A’ album has total Crust Appeal. I need to buy it pronto. He might’ve meant it as trolling but that album kicks ass. Reminds me of the Surfin MOD album.

    • Catastrophic Buttsekx

      Nice take on Bauhaus’ ‘Telegram Sam’. 😉

  • Sir Tapir The Based

    I’m super excited about a new Kayo Doot Doot album.

  • ┼yree

    What would you like to see come out in 2016? Here’s what I’d like to see:

    Vemod???
    Skáphe
    Katharsis??? If this happens I’ll be surprised.
    One Tail One Head???
    KRIEGSMASCHINE (EP)!?!?!?!?!
    Demon Bitch full-length???
    Aegrus
    Eos???
    Energumen???
    Primitive Man Full Length???
    Pseudogod???
    Shitfucker???
    Sacrocurse
    The Hauting Presence???
    Orcultus???
    Rippikoulu???
    Black Fucking Cancer???
    Unholy Crucifix???
    Gonguri
    Dark Sonority???
    Sortilegia???
    Tetragrammacide???
    Nyogthaeblisz
    Teitanblood???
    Irkallian Oracle???
    Khthoniik Cerviiks
    Blasphemy/Goatpenis split
    Intolitarian
    Immolation???
    Ritual Chamber
    Aosoth???
    Morbid Angel???
    Sinmara EP???
    Qrixkuor
    Destroyer 666
    Angelcorpse???
    Death Fortress
    Nexul???
    Hellvetron???
    Black Witchery???
    Behexen???
    Aosoth???
    Svartidaudi??? Fuck, this would make me really happy.
    Bolzer
    Mare??? Come on already! Fuck!
    Cultes Des Ghoules
    Negative Plane
    Vassafor
    Demoncy???
    Heresiarch???
    Plaga
    Mystifier???
    Sadistic Intent??? Yeah right!
    Tombeau???
    Void Meditation Cult???
    Profanatica???
    The Fog???
    Colbalt
    Kringa
    Inverloch
    Cosmic Church full length???
    AZELISASSATH “Glorification of his evilness” + “Total desecration of existence” vinyl
    Phanphage vinyl
    Veiled full length???
    W.A.I.L.???
    Death Breath???
    Disma???
    Krypts???
    Coffin Texts???
    Slaegt???
    G.I.S.M.???
    Konflict full length???
    Wulkanaz???
    Truppensturm???
    Funebrarum
    Aura Noir???
    Baphomets Horns???
    Chthonic Cult Full Length???
    Sewercide???
    Goatvermin???
    Imposer Full Length???
    Radioactive Vomit Full length???
    Serpentrance???
    Sabbatic Goat???
    Klage???
    Sheidim Full Length???
    Axis of Light???
    Altarage Full Length???
    Caveman Cult???
    Black Priest of Satan???
    Druidus???
    Extermination Temple???
    Antaeus???
    Narbeleth???
    The Deathtrip???
    Akrotheism???
    Saccage???
    Voidhanger???
    Bestial Mockery???
    TrenchRot
    Blaspherian
    Internal Rot???
    Weregoat???
    Gevurah???
    Nasheim???
    And more……………..

    • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

      Gris

    • Sir Tapir The Based

      My little butt is waiting for that Behexen.

    • Boss the Albatross Ross

      Damn, that is quite a list.

    • COAL ROLL

      Tim Tebow

    • ME GORAK B.C.™

      KRONET TIL KONGE REISSUE UP FOR PREORDER ON AMAZON TOO!!!

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        I noticed that the other day and it made me smile!

        • ME GORAK B.C.™

          WISH I SEEN ON THERE BEFORE IMPORTING WITH BURNING SHED!!!!!!!

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            It’s annoying when a better deal turns up to the one you took, but not as annoying as when you don’t take a deal and it vanishes forever.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™

            TRUE & HOPEFULLY MONUMENTAL POSSESSION & SATANIC ART GET REISSUE TOO!!!!!!

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            This would be most excellent!

    • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

      A new (and final?) WITTR album would not be too upsetting

      • Final? Why? Is metal not cool anymore?

        • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

          Ive read from them several different times that Wolves would probably not make many more albums after celestial/celestite

          • Weird. But that is their business, I suppose. Now that I think about it, I’m okay with them going out on a strong note with Celestial Lineage (I don’t care for Celestite so I don’t really think of it as a WITTR album).

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            You do know they were written to be companion pieces right?

          • Yeah but there’s no room in my life for NOTHING BUT SYNTHS. Not saying it’s a bad album; just not my poison.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Excellent dungeon crawl/gaming musak

    • RJA

      Holy shit, that’s a list! For one’s we know we are getting I’m most excited for Sacrocurse and Skaphe. I would like to see a new Irkallian Oracle, Black Witchery and Disma

      • ┼yree

        New Black Witchery would be sick. I like their new sound that they have going on. Alal’Xhaasztur was a nice addition to the band. Much more bold and bass heavy on that most recent split with Revenge.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPakBOVu2dE

    • I want to hear more about the “and more…….” bands. Which ones are those?

      GL

      • ┼yree

        The list never ends. Too many bands.

        • Catastrophic Buttsekx

          I can certainly do with a new Slaegt.

        • more beer

          And it never will.

      • Emmure, Acacia Strain.. you know, Tyree bands

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        I heard Kirk is working on some new riffs for Crowbar.

        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          When is he not? The man is a riff monster.
          Could you imagine new Crowbar and CoC, perhaps even a new Down album(not confirmed)?!?! This is going to be a riff heavy year.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            I think Down’s still working on the next EP’s. With Crowbar and CoC there are clear plans for a new album, but I doubt they’ll be released in 2016. Kirk’s been delivering quality for quite some time now. Their latest, Symmetry in Black, was their best since Odd Fellows Rest imho.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Yes on all accounts.

    • SCAB??

      • ┼yree

        Early 2016 that should be out.

        • more beer

          Nice!

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Do you have a bandcamp?

          • more beer

            I should but I don’t. Maybe I will get to this week while I have a bunch of spare time.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Do it, and then share your page. If you want to.

          • more beer

            At some point this week I will get to it.

    • JWEG

      Known quantities on my list:

      January: Lycus

      Later: Vale of Pnath, Omnihility, Torrefy, Moonsorrow, (Gorguts ???)

      Recording in Progress: Anciients, Witch Ripper

      Hinted: Spires

      Interested in Obscura and Destroyer 666, too, but I think I will flesh out my collection of their respective prior discographies first.

      • ┼yree

        Lycus >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

      • Sir Tapir The Based

        All the upvotes for Moonsorrow.

        • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

          I cant belieb you like something awesome

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I’m Finnish, of course I like Moonsorrow. That’s a law here.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Huh. And here i thought you were some kind of deviant

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Just like I thought you had a good beard
            :]

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Big difference here is that my beard will only get longer, whereas you will stay the same or worse level of anus

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I’m only going downhill from here. I’m rather surprised I am able to do that.

          • yeah but we’ve seen his, unlike yours…

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Ya ain’t gonna see mine.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            I thought that law was for Nightwish and HIM over there.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            There is a law about those. Just as it is illegal for a Finn to not like Moonsorrow, it is illegal to like those two bands. I’m ok with that.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            I can agree with that too! If you get a chance to see Moonsorrow live, see them. They put on an excellent show.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Too bad comment sections of their songa on youtube are filled with neo-nazis.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            GAH!!!!!!!!!! Them and Tyr got into some shit over using runes, hence the neo-nazi accusations. Same with Death In June and Current 93. Gotta love how Finnish Neo Nazis would love a band who uses Jew harps in their songs. Neo Nazis aren’t exactly good at historical facts or logic.

        • Catastrophic Buttsekx

          Yep!!!!!!! They NEVER disappoint.

    • A full-length from Eos would fully engage my pleasure centers.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      Can I take all, stirred together in a big black jug?

      • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

        *cauldron

  • “one of jack bauers favorite tech death bands”. Actually, it’s my favorite. I like them better than Archspire.

    • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

      Vale of Jack Pnathbauer

      • aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand this is why im gonna stick with Archbauer lol

  • there’s a Transcending Obscurity sampler (65 songs) at $[name your price], bound to be some good stuff there!
    https://transcendingobscurityindia.bandcamp.com/album/volume-1

  • RJA

    http://records.eisenton.de/album/luwte
    I’ve been listening to this here record this afternoon. I liked their first one quite a bit but slept on this one last year. melodic black metal, long songs.

  • Phoenix of the House Tendies

    Armored Angel are so fucking underrated.

    https://youtu.be/gSyRXhYGVBA

  • One never knows whether Kayo Dot entering the studio is good or bad news . . .

    • as somebody who isn’t very knowledgeable about the band, what does this mean pls? i thought Coffins on Io was spectacular, and enjoyed the Choirs of the Eye after Christian’s write-up…

      • Kayo Dot is very hit or miss with me. I hated Choirs when it first came out because IT DIDN’T SOUND LIKE MAUDLIN OF THE WELL WTF. After giving it some time, I came around to it. I still dislike most of Dowsing Anemoniania Whatever. Blue Lambency Downward was unexpectedly fantastic, maybe my favorite. Coyote was unlistenable. Hubardo was very satisfying–as close to recreating MotW’s sound as Kayo will probably ever get. Coffins on Io is kind of cool but I don’t really ever feel like listening to it.

        Still reading? Anyway, from that small audio blip from the studio, sounds like they’re pushing further into the TRON ZONE with the new material.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      I feel like any good/interesting band entering the studio is good news, even if the results end up dissatisfying its still a good/interesting band getting to do their thing.

  • Catastrophic Buttsekx

    Well, they’ve seen saying this since 200-fucking-2, but Blind Guardian announced they’re finally releasing an orchestral CD in 2016 or early 2017, with all new songs.

    • Boss the Albatross Ross

      And the live album from this tour should be coming out as well.

      • Catastrophic Buttsekx
        • Boss the Albatross Ross

          Exactly.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            At first I thought it was Psyche, which I actually do like. Oh well!

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I have no idea what show it is. Just liked the excitement.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Everyone should like psych, thats not what that is

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            I didn’t realize it was Scrubs until I did an image search of it afterwards. Next time I’ll pick a better show, like Facts Of Life or something.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Facts of life is way better than scrubs. The shows name is Scrubs. That says it all, rly

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            It should be called Scrugs.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            If i had written it a) it wouldve been funny. B) it wouldve been called Scrugs

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            One of my best friends gave me a box set when he was clearing his shit out to move. From the moment that theme song hot, I knew it was going to be painful.

        • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

          I hate that you linked a gif of this show in relation to Blind Guardian

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Oh, you’ll live, snookums. It just conveys my excitement (not a fan of the show either)

          • BobLoblaw

            Absolutely unredeemable piece of shit programming.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            OK, fine, I’ll put something more suitable then!

            http://data.whicdn.com/images/95437901/large.gif

          • BobLoblaw

            I posted a full on dick pic (found not mine) next to the Eiffel tower on here. This is worse.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            You found someone’s dick and took a pic of it?

          • BobLoblaw

            Yeah it was nuts, right beside the leaning tower of Pisa.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx
          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Don’t expect that image to be up long! And what’s with the weird coloration?!? Is that two types of herpes fighting for territory?!

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            (Thatsapenis.gif)

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            And an ugly one at that. Not sure if this guy’s trolling or not.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED
          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Ok, that flew over my head.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Its a plombus

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            I don’t know anything about plumbing.

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    now playing during stepper routine

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JP5PG7tyOw0

    • ah! before they sold out

      • Boss the Albatross Ross

        High on Fire have not nor will ever “sell out”. Take that back Jimmy!!!!!

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        : (

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        mcnulti plz!

  • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED
    • Catastrophic Buttsekx

      Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice! Tobias’ voice has been sounding shot as hell lately though. There’s times where he really needs to just handle the music and stop singing.

      • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

        If you watch the teaser, youll see thats exactly the case

        • Catastrophic Buttsekx

          Been that way for a while. He just needs to let his usual all-star cast take care of the vocals.

  • ┼yree

    RIP Lemmy.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      Aw man, I was lucky enough to meet him and hang out a couple times. such a fucking nice guy.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ngDWnP2akE

      • Catastrophic Buttsekx

        Damn, and not long at all after Philthy Animal died. Lemmy really was one of those you thought would be here long after the sun died, and the roaches went extinct. Sigh, add one more thing to the things Abe Vigoda’s outlasted…………..

    • more beer

      That is horrible. Just really bad news. Even if he has been so sick.

      • ┼yree

        Yup, total bummer.

        • more beer

          Yes it really is.

      • Catastrophic Buttsekx

        God Is Dead.

        • more beer

          I just said that to one of my friends I was texting with about it.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Trying to read about it on Blabbermouth, but it seems their site crashed from all the traffic. Reading about it on not nearly as good Ultimate Classic Rock.

          • more beer

            What can any site say besides he past away. It doesn’t really matter what the cause was. Just that it is true.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            He passed away. And is now beating God in that wrestling match, deflowering every virgin in heaven, and ready to take over Hell, Lobo style.

      • Catastrophic Buttsekx

        Gah, on top of all those health issues, he was fighting a very aggressive form of cancer, it turns out.

        http://consequenceofsound.net/2015/12/r-i-p-lemmy-kilmister-motorhead-frontman-dead-at-70/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link

        • more beer

          I sent you that link. I read the headline and that was all I had to see.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            My bad, I haven’t seen where you sent that yet. *raises my Milwaukee’s Best in toasting him*

          • more beer

            Cheers

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            *lowers the whiskey bottles to half mast*

          • more beer

            It should be empty.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Lol, and Lemmy would have all panties at half mast right now! And boxers too.

          • more beer

            Or something like that. But he bottle would be empty.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Damn you, ABC stores! This is the one time I’d actually drink some whiskey and of course they’re fucking closed.

          • more beer

            You live in one of the states that has the worst alcohol laws in the country.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Dont forget the roads.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Lol, I’m from Chicago. Trust me, I’ve seen way way worse! And not to mention roads in Cincinnati.

          • more beer

            The roads suck everywhere!

          • more beer

            Check your email

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Beats Utah, I guess. I very rarely drink hard liquor (I’ve had one shot in two years), so it’s no biggie to me. I’ve discussed my problems before with the hard shit, so I tend to stay the fuck away from it.

          • more beer

            Yea but Utah liquor laws really suck. But it is mostly Mormons there. That is why they are so shitty. But they do brew this there and it is excellent.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            I have no idea what we brew here. Probably good, but I’d probably stick with my usual stuff. I thought about what you said when I was over at the grocery earlier, and decided to look at some of the fancier stuff. It was a nightmare made of overpriced Bud Light Margaritas, overpriced Tecate (which I love, but again, overpriced), pumpkin spice shit, mango beers, and wine coolers (honestly, have you ever seen anyone drink those?!? I haven’t!). I went sharp and true, and went for Milwaukee’s Best, and a Clubtails Sex On The Beach. I saw a SOTB made by Four Loko, but hell fucking no.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            None of the stuff you just named was what he was talking about

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            That’s what I think of when I think of craft brewery beer.

          • more beer

            Those things you call fancy. Are just the same shitty beers with some sort of infused fruit flavors. Those are by no means good beer. I don’t know anyone who drinks that shit. Wow you really don’t have shit in Newport News. Here is a link to Virginia Breweries. There Has to be something one of these breweries brew you will like.http://virginiabreweries.com/

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            I’ll look at them later. You know me though. I like my shit cheap, blue collar, raw and to the basics. That and I’m well below the poverty line without being homeless (though, even when I made good money, I still liked the same shit). Spending $30 for a 6 pack of beer that won’t get me wasted is pointless. To each their own!

          • more beer

            Who pays 30 bucks a 6 pack. I pay around 10 bucks a six pack. A beer that has double the alcohol than that cheap massed produced watery piss. That for some reason you call beer. Gets you just as drunk as what you like. It takes less beer to get drunk on top of that. It is a choice of quality over quantity. That blue collar argument doesn’t fly. As I am one of the most blue collar guys on this here toilet.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Trust me, I’ve had the craft beers in Chicago, and they get you nowhere near to drunk as quick as some of the cheaper stuff out there. I think in terms of a long term alcoholic, as in I want cheap, strong and fast without resorting to shit like high gravity liquor. I’m just grimy like that, I suppose.
            And never said you weren’t blue collar. A chef is blue collar, no doubt, but I’m also not doing construction oriented work like you or my roomie/friend/landlord. I’ve had plenty of fancy shit in the restaurant biz, just like I’ve had and made plenty of fancy meals. Just not my thing most of the time. Same as I like plain simple food sometimes and some good old fashioned street food at times (almost never fast food, mind you).

          • Boss the Albatross Ross
          • more beer

            That’s funny. I’ll bet it sells good in the Mormon community.

          • Boss the Damage Case Ross

            You gotta admit, it takes balls to make a beer like that.

          • more beer

            Fuck yea. It is just too funny.

    • Catastrophic Buttsekx

      WAI WAI WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIT, WHAT??!?!?!?!? Please tell me you’re fucking kidding!

    • Boss the Albatross Ross
    • ┼yree
      • Boss the Albatross Ross

        Damn man, you’re gonna make me shed a tear.

        • Catastrophic Buttsekx

          I rarely tear up, especially over a celeb or anyone in entertainment, but this is one of those times. A good drinking song in memory of Lem………

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGWJ5XiwbV0

          • Boss the Damage Case Ross

            Neither do I but seeing those two share a drink together like that is heart wrenching.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            At first. But then remember they lived many lifetimes in one.

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        God dammit, they’re both fucking gone.

  • Óðinn
    • Boss the Albatross Ross

      Greatest high school newspaper editor ever.

      • Maik Beninton™
        • BobLoblaw

          Faaaaaaaag! *Bill Burrs voice.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Fuck off with the homophobic slurs.

          • BobLoblaw
          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            I know the context and use of it, brainiac. The way you used it is what set me off, and using the stand up of a blatant George Carlin ripoff doesn’t help, between that and other inane remarks. Please, do me a favor, and floss the two synapses you have with your own colon after you rip it out. It’d be an improvement.

          • BobLoblaw

            I used it in a way to attack someones sexuality? Is that what youre saying? Your comprehension may be lacking here.

            Please explain the Carlin ripoff comment. That would make for a good read im sure.

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Nope. I’ll let you spin your own juices and simply ignore you from here.

          • BobLoblaw

            Very mature of you to bow out with an insult instead of engaging in discussion. This must be the first time someone has ever done that on the internet.

  • BobLoblaw

    May he rest in Don Decker’s ass crater(in the most compassionate way).
    Original photo that spawned this post not found.

    • BobLoblaw

      Anyone here ever meet Don Decker before he left? Had one show with him and from the little he was around he was a really nice/funny dude who i know spawned many personal stories where he travelled.

      • more beer

        Don Was a friend of mine. They would stay at my house when ever they came through town.

        • BobLoblaw

          Did he habitually leave his pissy underwear on peoples refrigerators or did we just get lucky?

          • more beer

            You got lucky. He didn’t do that at my house.

  • The Satan Ov Hell

    RIP lemmy kilmeister to those who don’t know; confirmed to have passed away a short time ago.

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple
  • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

    Has anyone seen these Hardees/Carls Jr commercials with Pantera playing behind them? im so mad right now, i think i need 5 minutes alone

    • Catastrophic Buttsekx

      Yep. I discussed those over a week ago. 5 Minutes Alone will soon be in a commercial for Fleshlights. And Pfizer will fight Ashley Madison for permission to use Good Friends And A Bottle Of Pills.

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    RIPLemmy

  • Catastrophic Buttsekx
  • Catastrophic Buttsekx

    Now Lemmy’s jamming with Lord Flashheart (Rik Mayall) once again (and deflowering every woman the afterlife has to offer).

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOAz4nPNvLI

  • Catastrophic Buttsekx
  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    RIP Lemmy. You’re in a better place.

    • Catastrophic Buttsekx

      For you, good sir:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQzsK4FAnx0

      More than sure Triple H is gonna make a tribute, considering he was good friends with Lemmy and a lifelong Motorhead fan.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      Every wrestling fan should petition Triple H to induct Lemmy into the WWE HOF this year. No waiting, no bullshit.

      • Catastrophic Buttsekx

        Shit, when they announced it on the BBC earlier, you could tell this anchor was getting choked up. And they announced it as breaking news, which is rare for a celeb over there from what I can tell.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ay9r8NxQtDc

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          You can tell right at the end that she was holding back emotions. : (

          • Catastrophic Buttsekx

            Yep!

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I’d love to see Trips go back to using The Game theme music.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          He only uses it for Wrestlemania cos he knows it’s the better song.

  • Óðinn
  • Catastrophic Buttsekx

    “Now, lighting new cigarettes, and pouring more drinks
    It has been a beautiful fight, and still is.”

    -Charles Bukowski

    RIP, Lemmy 🙂

  • Sir Tapir The Based

    One of the first things I saw this morning was that Lemmy has died. Not exactly the best way to start your day.

    • Maik Beninton™

      Or finish it.

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        News broke around 730PM my time, so it was about the end of my day.

        • Maik Beninton™

          It was 11PM for me.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I would’ve been up all night if that had been that case for me.

  • KJM, Shake Zula
  • KJM, Shake Zula
  • KJM, Shake Zula
  • KJM, Shake Zula
  • KJM, Shake Zula
  • pïgchop™

    Staring into a future without Lemmy – a true rock n’ roll hero!

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      We knew these days were coming. First we lose RJD in 2010, and now we lose Lemmy. Losing Christopher Lee was hard enough on me personally as well, huge part of my childhood gone, right there.

      • Guppusmaximus

        I don’t how to say this without sounding harsh,but, I’m tired of pretending to give a damn about those who throw the dice in regards to their health and then suffer the consequences. I mean, I’m not saying Lemmy deserved to die but I don’t think he cared enough about his health to warrant such shock over the outcome.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          I’m not shocked at all. In fact, I’m surprised he lived this long. I’m in mourning for someone I actually met.

          • Guppusmaximus

            I should’ve clarified that I was talking in general not at you specifically. I wonder if those same celebrities that tweeted their condolences ever confronted Lemmy about his lifestyle choices when they were chumming it up with him?

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            It would’ve been a waste of time. He lived his life the way he wanted to. Please don’t talk about him like he was some fucking clueless child who didn’t know that everything in life has a price, good or bad. You insult the man’s memory by denigrating him in such a way.

          • Guppusmaximus

            I seriously doubt I would insult this man’s memory (I’m not certain how that is even possible) by speaking my mind. Unless, his lifestyle was a charade in order to cover up some underlying fear / problem / dysfunction. I have yet to meet an alcoholic / drug addict that wasn’t. That’s my opinion and, no offense, but if it ruins your memory then that’s on you not me.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Figure you can see Texas from up there on your high horse, buddy? This self righteous straight-edge bullshit doesn’t even make fucking sense. We’re trying to mourn the man’s life and you stroll in with this crap?

            Do me a favor. Don’t talk to me, and I won’t talk to you. I’ll just flag your posts if you do.

          • Sir Tapir The Based
          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Nope.

          • Machine That Yells At Farts

            I have to ask: did the page change? On my comp, the print got alot smaller and the background got bigger.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Everyone’s got a fucking vagina nowadays when you speak your mind. I don’t remember reading the “Right to be Offended” amendment to The Constitution. Plus, it wasn’t an article dedicated to Lemmy and I’ve had similar conversations with KJM like that before (or I thought I did). I figured he was someone I could share a slightly controversial sentiment with….I guess not. Oh well…

          • Guppusmaximus

            I don’t think there will be a loud enough siren for that waambulence that needs to be called. Flag that! LMFAO!

          • Machine That Yells At Farts

            I ignored this idiot since last night, especially after his homophobic tirade. I made the mistake of not flagging his posts at that point.

        • BobLoblaw

          Dude lived to fucking 70 having a blast. Think youll stay out of the ground that long?

          • Guppusmaximus

            I have no idea and neither do you. Funny enough, it was such a blast that he changed his ways when he discovered some health issues. Too bad, it was too late.

          • BobLoblaw

            Youre right, no one knows which is why it doesnt make sense to live your life in fear of your own mortality. Thats not living.

            By changed his ways do you mean cutting back on cigarettes, switching to wine and cutting out coca-cola entirely? Man, he must have really been trying to roll back the damage right?

            “Death is an inevitability, isn’t it? You become more aware of that when you get to my age. I don’t worry about it. I’m ready for it. When I go, I want to go doing what I do best. If I died tomorrow, I couldn’t complain. It’s been good.” -Lemmy

      • Machine That Yells At Farts

        I talked to my friend about Lemmy last night, and she put it straight and true: you don’t know when your time is. Just fucking live it. Lemmy fucking lived it more than me, you and everyone we know ever will, and with no regrets or loss of love from those around him. It’s the perfect way to live before you get off this little continuum ride we call life.

  • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

    Man, theres some killer vinyl and tshirts im having to consider using this gift card for

  • Machine That Yells At Farts