New Music Roundup: Pseudogod, Piss Vortex, The Crown, Horrified & Aphonic Threnody


Who needs a break from listening to Taylor Swift’s magnum opus 1989 on repeat? Nobody, that’s who. But alas, the laws of trve metal require us to keep up appearances and faithfully replenish our vats of wimp and poser blood. So jump in here and brush up on some of the metal that’s been released over the past two weeks or so. Give each item a cursory listen, then you may return to shaking it off.

Pseudogod and bands of their ilk are under no delusion that their music is high art. They like to do to art what they do to pretty much everything else: gather it into a large pile, devote it to the pitchblack flame, and piss on it for Satan. They’re set to release a 7″ on December 31 called The Pharynxes of Hell. It includes “Awakening of Archdaemon” and “Diving Merging,” (two songs previously released on a 2010 split with TeitanfyreIll Omened, and Gehängter Jude) and a new cover of “Blood War III” by Antaeus. As of a few days ago, you can hear the whole thing on Bandcamp. I’m assuming you’ve been listening to the first two tracks every day since 2010 like the nonposers I know you are, so here’s the new cover.


My research has revealed that the frequencies at which the words grind and the unfortunately-coined skronk are mentioned in the toilet are among the highest of all (surpassed only be the usage of flushstay, three blocks from my house, cvnting, and to my chagrin, Archspire). It is for this reason that I fully expect Piss Vortex to be a toilet favorite today. The Gorguts-gone-Grind designations are wholly understandable and completely warranted, most notably in the presence of those sour chords found in passages like “Devouring Intent’s” midsection. Invisible Oranges hosted a stream of their debut full-length (out today!) days ago. Go there and bang your head at unhealthy speeds to 14 songs of 1-2 minute aggression.

Facebook | Bandcamp | Full Stream

The Crown (previously Crown of Thorns) have been sparking genre debates since their arrival on the scene in the early 90’s. They’re death metal. No, they’re thrash. No, they’re death thrash. No, they’re melodic death metal. No, they’re melodic death thrash. You get the point. My opinion? Shut the fuck up and blast Deathrace King, you genre-warring dorks. Less arguing amongst each other, more communal headbanging to “Deathexplosion.” The Crown have admittedly fallen off a bit since their seemingly unstoppable killing spree of lauded album after lauded album was proven mortal indeed by the meh-ly recieved Possessed 13 in 2003. But while it’s clear that they’re no longer in their prime, The Crown still have it in them to write some pretty savage tunes. Kind of. “Headhunter” is the single from a new 7″ just released by Century Media. It’s also going to be on their upcoming full-length, Death Is Not Dead, set for release on January 2015. Check it out.

U.K.’s old-school worshipping newcomers Horrified released their debut full-length Descent into Putridity over a week ago via Memento Mori. Now they’ve made the entire album available to stream on their Bandcamp. Isn’t that nice? Yeah, it’s derivative; they’re one of countless larvae feeding off the rotting carcasses of AutopsyPestilence,and the like. If done correctly, I typically consider that type of worship to be a good thing. In some ways they manage to capture some of that crass OSDM charm. In other ways (mainly clicky kick drum ways) they don’t. What do you think?

 Facebook | Bandcamp

Funeral doom fans use many words to describe the genre’s music: expansive, atmospheric, emotional, deep, crushing, depressing, evocative, etc. The list goes on and on. Funeral doom detractors use only three words: boring as fuck. If the words Mournful Congregation carry no meaning for you, you’re probably in the latter group and may benefit from turning back now. The remaining few of you will probably enjoy Aphonic Threnody’s full-length debut, When Death Comes. Last year’s EP, First Funeral, was well-received in funeral doom circles (which do indeed exist), and When Death Comes is a continuation of that beautifully morose (or is it morosely beautiful?) funereal death doom. Stream it below:

Facebook | Bandcamp

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