Mystery Horror Theater, Episode VII

1239
68
Share:

Prepare your butts for tiny little chops of horror. It’s Mystery Horror Theater.

I’ve got a collection of shorts for you today that inexplicably ended up all being doors. Or portals. Or people walking through doors. Or asking to walk through doors or portals. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.


Mama

You’re likely familiar with Guillermo Del Toro’s film Mama, but have you ever seen the short of the same name that inspired it? If you answered no, you’re in luck. This little film from Andy And Barbara Muschietti won Del Tor over with its sense of child-like vulnerability, and the director himself describes it in the introduction as one of the scariest scenes he’s ever seen. That may be a bit hyperbolic, so I’ll just say that it does what it’s trying to do very effectively. Skip to 0:50 if you don’t want to hear Del Toro.


Behind the Door

This one’s all tension and plays off the sort of vulnerability you experience when those you love are threatened. I appreciate the way that director Baylea Hart builds off old vampire myths to create a modern take on the timeless horror. The child actors are pretty convincing, too!


The Door

I’ve included The Door in this selection because, despite the somewhat hokey effects, the inexplicable cosmic horror that suddenly befalls Suburbanite Sue seems straight of a Lovecraft book. If you enjoyed Thresher, I think you’ll dig this.


Bonus Round: The Black Hole

Not horror, but still spooky when you start thinking about the possibilities. Enjoy.

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
  • Jessica Chastain was sort of hot in Mama with the whole grunge look. Not sure I really liked that movie though. Kind of underwhelming but it did have its moments.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      I like how Mama keeps ambivalent about the idea of family. No BS sentimental turnarounds or cheesy “get away from her, bitch!” moments. Ending was ridiculous but appropriate at the same time. Chastain was more than just sort of hot. Lame jump scares and CGI knocked a few points off though.

      • i know you ain’t trash-talkin’ Aliens

        • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

          I’m not a huge fan of Aliens, but I wasn’t trashing the scene in that in particular because its totally appropriate to the characters and tone of the film. What I don’t like is when films do it in a contrived and unfitting way just to cheaply get a cheer.

          • Vote for Jeb
          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Looks like it could be a winner. I’m rarely disappointed by Aussie horror, it tends to often be effortlessly offbeat, which I really appreciate. And I’ve often thought horror films need more pigs, they’re fearsome creatures at the best of times.

          • Vote for Jeb

            More pigs. Always more pigs.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I’d love to see an adaptation of William Hope Hodgson’s The House on the Borderland. Overall classic cosmic horror, with notable supporting turns from nefarious “swine-things”.

          • if you’re not against “walking simulators” (to use the derogatory term given by COD enthusiasts) try Amnesia A Machine For Pigs. quite terrifying

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I’m super clueless when it comes to computer games, but that does look rather awesome. And I do like a good walk around.

          • Herr Schmitty

            I’ve read just enough about Amnesia to know this:
            1. It’s probably too scary for me to want to play the whole thing.
            2. The story is absurdly fascinating to me.

            That’s one of those games where I’d probably rather watch someone else play it than do it myself.

          • Waynecro

            Precisely what Let’s Play Youtube videos are for.

          • i couldn’t play the first amnesia without a friend present. you’re in gud company

          • CyberneticOrganism
          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Goats are tremendous! But a little better represented than pigs at present I think.

          • now i gotcha. i saw a horror film recently where the protagonist waited a few seconds before killing the final boss to say “go to hell”. so dumb

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I want to see a realistic horror film where a character has to change their pants at one point because they soiled themselves.

        • ME GORAK B.C.™
    • Scrimm

      I thought the girls did a pretty good job but the whole “Let’s show the audience everything in the first few minutes” pretty much killed it.

  • That piece of paper is a black void and you can use it to steal money.

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    I’ve got a hole in me pocket.

  • Waynecro

    One of the vice presidents at my company is an ’80s-metal/horror fan, so I sent him links to all the previous Mystery Horror Theaters. He was very pleased.

    • Someone will get a promotion thanks to the Toilet ov Hell!

      • Waynecro

        I’ll just be happy if the company stays afloat. Though I do have a lot of spooky stuff to talk to the guy about when we discuss edits every month. We were following developments concerning Sad Satan pretty closely too.

    • Vote for Jeb

      Thanks, dude!

      • Waynecro

        No, thank you!

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      There is no way i would link one of my bosses even one of the more benign articles here lol

      • Waynecro

        Lucky for me, this guy is a total bro. Some of the tech analysts I work with are pretty cool too. They pass around some pretty interesting links.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I would never let anyone I work with know about this place no matter what. They’d be horrified.

      • Waynecro

        My company is in the Bay Area in California, so my interests are hardly the oddest thing most of my coworkers experience on a regular basis.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          That is probably true. I don’t want to tell anyone I know about this place. They’d be horrified by what I say.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            All the AOR love, you mean?

          • Vote for Jeb

            It’s Good Charlotte now.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Jesus

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            No, they’d just be horrified by the music.

          • Based Potoo

            I know right? AOR is terrible. It would horrify every sane person.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Potoo plz! AOR is the only music for me!

          • nu-metal wants a word with you

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Nu metal is also the music for me.

      • bro. you ashamed of the site??

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          No. I just don’t think my friends and family should know about it

          • so long as my boss doesn’t figure out who i am on here, all is good

  • NefariousDude

    BROS UR FAVORITE DUDE GOT A DUI LAST FRIDAY FOR SLEEPING IN HIS CAR AND NOW I AM JUST A SCRUB HANGING OUT THE PASSENGER SIDE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS RIDE. SPEAKING OF BEST FRIENDS I AM GOING TO SEE THE FACELESS TONIGHT WITH MY BESTIE. HE IS OFFERING TO PAY FOR MY TICKET BECAUSE OF MY FINANCIAL WOES AND BECAUSE HE IS A SOLID HOMIE. SPEAKING OF SOLID HOMIES HERE IS SAID FRIENDS GRIND BAND FULL OF SOLID HOMIES WHO LIKE TO SHRED AND NOT GET ARRESRED FOR SLEEPING, STAY SAFE TOILETEERS https://glitterbomb.bandcamp.com/album/hive-mind-3

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Well shit, I’m sorry to hear that.

      • NefariousDude

        It was a poor decision on my part. The laws in Arizona are extreme regarding duis though. I was sleeping in my car because the house I was staying the night at had like 80 people still partying hard

        • Vote for Jeb

          Sucks dude.

          • NefariousDude

            Jebs got my vote if he can get a dude pardoned. I’m gonna fight it in court lol #goodlvck

    • You got a DUI for sleeping in your car? That’s fucking bullshit. Happened to a friend of mine. Makes no goddamn sense.

      • NefariousDude

        The engine and heater were on and I was in the driver seat. I woke up in handcuffs lol. My lawyer is going to try to disprove the cops assertion of the “actual physical control” I had of the vehicle when they discovered me because I was sleeping. But in Arizona it’s going to be really hard to prove I’m not an asshole, just a dumbass lol

    • Scrimm

      That sounds like bullshit.