Music just means SOOO MUCH to Alien Ant Farm

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When I last heard Alien Ant Farm, I was shredding major railage in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3. Many years later I saw my cousin’s band open up for them at a local dive but I left before AAF took the stage. Suffice to say I have not followed their career closely. Here’s something I learned the other day: Alien Ant Farm has a new album coming soon and they recently dropped a new single. We need to talk about this, you guys.

Back in March of 2013 the band set up a crowdfunding campaign to record and release a new album. Fast forward August 31st 2014, AAF had reached 150% of their unspecified funding goal and released a new single for pledgers. Fast forward to me driving in my car a couple of days ago and hearing this pumping through the premium Bose audio package:

The song is called “Homage” and it appears that Alien Ant Farm are attempting to pay homage to a bunch of Gold and Platinum selling artists of wildly varying quality by name checking them all in a terrible song.

Rather than trying to process this abomination as a whole, we should try to look at it piece by piece.

0:03 – the song comes out swinging with the kind of propelling electric piano melody that you just know portends a bunch of awful overtly sincere bullshit.

0:38 – Oh no. Homey just actually sang this line without a trace of irony:

“And every time I listened to The Pixies with you
Purple rain falls on the dark side of the moon
Maybe I’ll take this journey through Zooropa with you too.”

For those of you too young to get the reference, Zooropa is a terrible album by terrible dad rock band U2.

0:48 – I think this is the exact same pre-chorus used in wildly superior Alien Ant Farm song, “Movies”.

1:07 – We’ve reached the inevitable fake-string-soaked-soaring-and-meaningful chorus. The lyrics gush over how much music means to him. I get it, dude. I was also 15 once.

1:45 – The band wisely references “Smooth Criminal”. THAT’S where I know you guys from!

1:52 – And in the space of four seconds Sadé, Brian McKnight, Kiss, Beastie Boys, the Rolling Stones, and The Eagles are all name dropped. The only reason these bands should be lumped together is if they were written in White-Out pen on the backpack of the biggest poser in history.

2:25 – That cringe-inducing chorus was not a fluke. We’re doing it again.

2:55 – “I got Joni Mitchell when I need a soul sister.” Word, bruh?

You can sing along to this tune with the band on the ANTarchy In the USA Tour:

10/04 – Sacramento, CA – Rio Ramanza Marina
10/17 – West Hollywood, CA – Whiskey A Go Go
11/04 – Portland, OR – Tonic Lounge
11/05 – Seattle, WA – Studio Seven
11/07 – Missoula, MT – Stage 112
11/08 – Billings, MT – Babcock Theater
11/09 – Williston, ND – DK’s Lounge
11/10 – Minot, ND – The Original Bar and Nightclub
11/12 – Minneapolis, MN – Triple Rock
11/13 – Fargo, ND – Shotgun Sally’s Rock N’ Roll Saloon
11/14 – Chippewa Falls, WI – Every Buddy’s Bar
11/15 – Macomb, IL – The Outskirts
11/16 – Des Moines, IA – House of Bricks
11/19 – Arlington Heights, IL – Home Bar
11/20 – Pontiac, IL – Freakster’s Roadhouse

 

Was this song pieced together as a blatant attempt at songwriting via SEO or was it written in complete sincerity? I’m honestly not sure what’s worse. What do you think? Am I being overly harsh? Did you like the tune? “Movies” still holds up pretty well, IMO. Did you preorder the record? Let’s talk it out below.

(Image Via)

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  • Tyree

    A six string bass guitar seems very fitting for this bands music.

    • Stockhausen

      Gotta shred those root notes, bro!

      • TrickleDownTacoRiff

        lol!

  • That dude has the most punchable face in history…

    • Tyree
      • I love this scene. It’s what I think about every time I see someone like that.
        You just….you just get me, Tyree.

        • Tyree

          Haha, I love when he says “Is there anything I can do to work on that?” Nah no not really, it’s your face.

    • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

      I am actually in the process of replacing my monitor as I thought a game of whack-a-mole was taking place on my screen.

    • Mother Shabubu III

      Totes this guy.

      • Doctor Dickless

        I don’t know who that is, but oh boy do I want to punch him hard!

      • Cock ov Steele

        If I were a guitarist, yes.

        • Mother Shabubu III

          Judging by his facial expressions, I’m beginning to suspect foul chromosomes at play here. He could be an idiot savant of some kind. Now I feel somewhat bad.

      • IronLawnmower

        My god yes and his covers are shit because he puts on this stupid fucking voice.

    • Scrimm

      I read an interview once where he said he’d bang the Olsen Twins even in their full house days. Must be buddies with Vince.

    • Yea it’s even worse than M Shadows.

      • Doctor Dickless

        How long will it take for him to appear here now that you mentioned him?

        • only time will tell i guess.

          • Guacamole Jim

            It’s like magic.

          • it’s like beetlejuice

          • Guacamole Jim

            You’re like love <3

      • M Shadows!

        YOU FUCKING LIFELOVING CUNTER! IM NOT THAT UGLY!

        • But you do admit you’re at least somewhat ugly then?

    • Howard Dean

      As always, Vince Neil is a contender for this year’s title…

      http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2010528/300.VinceNeil.tg.062810.jpg

      • I’d rather a drunk driver hit him.

        • You would subject someone to that torture? god that poor drunk driver.

      • Cock ov Steele

        I nominate Travis Barker.

        • Tyree

          AGREED!

        • Stockhausen

          With his stupid lip thing that he does.

          • Cock ov Steele

            ESPECIALLY for that lip thing.

          • Stockhausen

            I want to rip his stupid lips apart and fold the rest of his body into his dumb mouth.

          • crazytaco_12

            Billie Joe from Green Day has the lip thing way worse. Looks like a walking cliché

    • Count_Breznak

      He somehow looks like Steve-Os demented twin.

    • TheCheezFace .
    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      i got 4 for ya. they play so well and they’re so funny, hyuk, hyuk, this is hipster music. This is for people who think they are better than you and that metal in all forms is a joke. Feel free to stick a shotgun up their asses and pull the trigger. I will clean up the mess and dispose of the bodies.

      • I REALLY dislike this band.

        • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

          the guy on the far left is particularly annoying, the guitarist was in halfords first band fight and the vocalist was in la guns. Basically a bunch of never beens riding this parody train to the end of the line. The hiliarious thing is when SP ends these guys are going to be begging for work from the very hair metal bands they have been mocking, I can’t wait.

          • Jöhnny Crünch™

            I’m a big fan but the new album got old pretty quick.

      • I like em alot, actually. Hilarious and juvenile as hell.

    • The Black Dahlia Burger

      Brown shirt pic looks almost photoshopped, like how can a person look that fucking weird

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    2002-radio-alternative-core at it’s finest. And by finest I mean worst thing I have ever heard.

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    EEEeewwwww…

  • I can’t explain the relief I feel knowing that they are not coming anywhere near me

    • Scrimm

      I was thinking the same thing.

  • The singer looks like someone put a young Jim Carrey and a chimp in the telepods from The Fly. The song was probably written completely sincerely.

      • Tyree

        You ought not done that to your boy.

        • Howard Dean

          Whatcha got in ‘er that’s good t’eat? I reckon you fix me some biscuits, mmhmm.

          • W.

            Some people call it a kaiser blade. I call it a sling blade.

          • Tyree
          • Tyree

            What’cha doin’ with that lawn mower blade Karl?

            I aim to kill you with it.

          • Howard Dean

            I killed Doyle Hargraves with a lawnmower blade. Yes, ma’am, I’m right sure of it. I hit him two good whacks with it. That second one just plum near cut his head in two…

          • Tyree

            And that’s how Dwight Yoakam died.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            this one aint got no gas in it…

          • Tyree

            Coffee kindly make me nervous.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            i like them french fried potaters i reckon

          • Tyree

            Hahaha! Classic! I want to watch this movie now.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            yea me too! my last one: shes got hairy arms, u know what that means BIG BUSH! PS Rompeprop is great I picked up two albums today…haha!

          • Tyree

            Dude nice! Which releases did you pick up?

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            looks like self titled Rompeprop and Hellcocks Cornflakes…haha! I love the vocals and soundbites and brutality!

          • Tyree

            Hellcocks Cornflakes is my favorite. Lol.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            haha!

          • My friend gave me one of their CD’s a while back. Pretty good, but kinda weird band.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            yea thats why i like them, weird appeals to me.

      • TrickleDownTacoRiff

        love that guy…

  • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

    “” Make sure the owners of that place help move that oh so heavy, spine breaking, pool table out of the way.””

    • Howard Dean

      Hahaha. This was my exact first thought upon reaching the end of the article and seeing that list of tour stops.

  • B00mhauer

    Talkin’ bout a dang ol’ massive surge of dang ol alt bands from late 90s early 00s tryna maintain relevance, yo. Kinda like watchin MTV2 after schoo’ all over agin tellyewhat.

  • Doctor Dickless

    Aaaand my monday is ruined because of this song.

    • U just don’t GET IT. Music is, liek, MY LIFE.

      • Doctor Dickless

        2deep4me, maybe even 3deep5me.

      • nobody use humor around MA — i mean DD

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Shit post is shit.

  • Is this real life?

    • Doctor Dickless

      I hope that you ain’t starting this Queen shit.

      • Is this just fantasy?

        • Doctor Dickless

          ….

          • Caught in a landslide no escape from reality.

          • MoshOff

            Open your eyes…

          • look up to the skies and seeeeeeeee!!

          • I wasn’t even planning on that but since u gave me the idea…. It was originally meant as a “did you really post this?” type thing.

          • Doctor Dickless

            What have I done? I created a monster!

          • Doctor Dickless

            I’m just gonna drill this hole and go.

          • Open your eyes, look up to the skies and seeeee.

          • Doctor Dickless

            …..

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            i find that picture to be freaky…

          • Guacamole Jim

            CAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO SEE MARSHALL NO MORE THEY WANT SHADY I’M CHOPPED LIVER

            WELL IF YOU WANT SHADY THIS IS WHAT I GIVE YOU
            A LITTLE BIT OF WEED MIXED WITH SOME HARD LIQUOR
            SOME VODKA THAT’LL JUMPSTART MY HEART QUICKER THAN okay I’m done.

          • George Clarke

            lol

          • Doctor Dickless

            Dear diary
            Today I managed to amuse the great George Clarke, the inventor of black metal. Best day ever!

          • George Clarke

            okay wise guy thats enough outta u

          • Doctor Dickless

            I dodn’t mean to insult you. I am a fan of your great work.

          • George Clarke

            tbh Kerry made most of the magic i just do the skramz

          • Doctor Dickless

            But the “skramz” are a pivotal part of the music!

          • George Clarke

            this is true. thank you for your kind words have a nice day

          • Frankie Palmeri

            sounds more like a feral cat in heat to me

          • George Clarke

            this is my favorite emmure song

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4T3Yubs3F4

  • IronLawnmower

    When was the last time these guys were relevant?

    This morning my brother mashed sour cream and onion pringles into his breakfast cereal. he said it made the milk more flavourful. I’m still disgusted to this hour..

    • Very similar to the feeling you get listening to this song, or seeing that guy’s face.

      • IronLawnmower

        Yep. He fucking reeks of sour cream still.

    • W.

      Dude! Gross! I literally cringed.

      • IronLawnmower

        it was asda brand golden nuggets which taste shitty as is.

      • Stockhausen

        I believe you when you say literally. Thank you for wielding this word with care.

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      This made me gag. Gross, bro. Gross.

      • IronLawnmower

        You didn’t have to deal with the fucking smell.

    • Tyree

      He should of substituted the milk with Old Milwaukee.

      • IronLawnmower

        I’m not sure if it would make the unholy fucking thing better or worse.

      • ah beereal. Stag also works.

  • Great job on bringing hot radio garbage to the internet.

    *flushes this nerd with his split window’s peak*

    • Sometimes you encounter something so horrific you have to share it with others.

      • True
        I stopped listening at 0:43.
        its like one big shitty callback.

        • I had to listen to it multiple times to pick out every crappy lyric. No bueno.

      • I didn’t need this in my life joe :/

      • IronLawnmower

        Like what my brother does with his breakfast cereal.

  • Bözlinger

    That dude bought me a Jim Beam and coke slushy once…gets pass. It was $7

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Sellout.

      • Bözlinger

        Freeout, fuckhole

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          Find me a hole worthy, and I’ll fuck it.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      Which one? I am related to one of them that married into my mom’s side of the family.

  • Leif Bearikson

    No Texas date? That’s so weak or whatever people say when bands don’t play their state

    • IronLawnmower

      Un-radical?

      • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

        That’s Bush League!

    • The Black Dahlia Burger

      COME TO BRASIL PLS

  • If i’ve already pre-ordered Sunn O)))+Scott Walker, should i be allowed to download the leaked version?

    • Doctor Dickless

      I have it pre-ordered as well, mate. Has it leaked? If it has, I don’t think I’ll be listening to it. I’ll wait for my album.

      • It has leaked, but i think i will wait for my album as well.

        • Doctor Dickless

          Stay strong, brother!

  • Beunhaas

    Was it really necessary to post this?

    • Of course not. It’s not necessary to post anything.

      • Beunhaas

        What I mean is, couldn’t you have posted something about a good band or something like that. I really don’t care about this.

        • We post about good bands with almost 95% of our posts. Can we not have a little fun at a crappy band’s expense?

          • Beunhaas

            uhh. I guess your right, I just didn’t think this was very funny or interesting, unlike the Chelsea Grin review a few months ago. As long as we won’t get a fucking Emmure article every week i’ll be happy.

          • I tried to make it funny. I did not try hard enough it seems.

          • Scrimm

            It was worthy. This was bad enough for us all to make fun of.

          • but i laughed, i did!

    • IronLawnmower

      Yes. How else would we know what a band only famous for covering a MJ song is up to at the moment?

    • We’re supposed to be united in hatred for it. Get with the program, goat!

    • we have full trust in Papa Joe, in everything he does.

      • TrickleDownTacoRiff

        i like the old pic better jimmy jam…(this one) its pleasing to me.

  • How about some of the good hot radio garbage?

    http://youtu.be/qRaZkfQ4ajE

  • Papa Joe, you weren’t being harsh enough. Get the plunger ready, there’s gonna be a clog!

    • Dëpütÿ Dïpshït

      This turd is one of those horizontal, cement quality bricks you need a sledgehammer to break up.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    That was, erm… not very good.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Geniusest idea ever of the day: What if all great bands that struggle and end up splitting up recorded a couple of radio friendly singles to ensure their longevity? I mean really, would Alien Ant Farm have stayed around for more than one album if not for Movies and Smooth Criminal?

    • AAF was just following the career trajectory of Orgy. Get semi famous from doing a cover, parlay that into releasing a second single of your own material. And finally hold on to relevance for as long as possible.

      • Lol, though, Orgy got nowhere near to enough crowdfunding money for their new CD. I haven’t heard any make a peep about them since their second CD.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        I consider Alien Ant Farm much better than Orgy. Orgy had one good song that was a cover but AAF had quite a few good songs that weren’t singles. I loved their first three albums and the forth one was decent. I worry that this one is going to suck royally.

  • FeelTheDarkness

    Love ’em and I don’t even have kids!!!!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv51LO7NOTo

    • i like some U2. yes a little shame.

      • Tyree
        • sorry, i dvggan’d out for a moment

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            No you didn’t. I never got into U2 and I never will.

          • What I meant was you’re always brave enough to admit liking something when you know someone might take a jab at ya! Like your love of that new in flames…

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I love that album and the new Opeth album enough to go see that tour when it goes to Terminal 5. Now that I have a job I can go to that show and buy some Opeth and In Flames merch as well as the possible Red Fang merch because they are opening.

          • Congrats on gettin employment brother!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I love the job, even though it requires long hours of dishwashing and such things. I work at a burger place called BurgerFi that makes good food.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Also, dvganning out only applies to nu metal and other things hated by metalheads. It does not apply to most rock. Here is a true example of the practice of pulling a dvggan: I love The Ataris. They are the only good pop punk band and So Long Astoria is the best pop punk album of the 2000’s.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        The only good things U2 ever did were Achtung Baby and Pop. I hate every other album they did.

        • YOU! you gotta like some of the old stuff, like New Year’s Day or Sunday Bloody Sunday? and i’m with you, i actually really like the two albums you mentioned. Pop is fucking great! okay we’d better stop before we get thrown out…

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I own some of the older stuff but I do not like it.

      • All the shame. All the shame in the world right now.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      That was a good performance but my favorite U2 performances were these two from the ZooTV tour and the Popmart tour. Both of these tours were some of the greatest spectacles ever in rock and I love that Youtube has full shows of these tours.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvF2lOhHjEM

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qaz8qDR8iZE

      • FeelTheDarkness

        Zoo TV was one of the greatest spectacles I have ever witnessed.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan

          You saw it live? You lucky bastard. Did you see the Popmart tour as well?

          • FeelTheDarkness

            I did. I have seen them for every tour since Joshua Tree

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Lucky you. I never saw them but my dad saw them on their tour for War. He said it was the loudest concert he ever saw.

  • TrickleDownTacoRiff

    I love the sarcasm, great post. Also, I’m a dad and U2 has sucked has sucked since War. And that guys face is funny as hell. I don’t need to punch him, or anyone really, but its funny as hell.

  • George Clarke

    “flush”

  • Pierre Generic

    Joe’s posts mocking a briefly popular 2000’s band are much funnier than those written by a certain Mr. Rosenberg.

    #THRASHNKILL FACTS

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      It’s even better because he mentions the Tony Hawk game that I mastered and loved back when I was in middle school.

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan

    I do like Alien Ant Farm but goddamnit this sucks. I was even going to pre order the new album off their crowdfunding page so that I could get the ticket to any Alien Ant Farm show for life but now I’m not so sure.