MSD’s Metal Contradictions

1949
173
Share:

Real life examples of MSD’s real life hypocrisy as a real life metalhead.


Pt. II

MSDC2

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
  • Metaphysical Anus

    I still don’t know what the fuck that “hall” is.

      • Metaphysical Anus

        I bought google today and found out what it means.

        • W.

          Welcome to the real world!

          • Tyree
          • W.

            I’ve been to hell. I spell it, I spell it DMV

          • Tyree

            That’s my favorite from this album.

          • W.

            I really like Mr. Krinkle.

          • Tyree

            Oh yeah! Hamburger Train is a fun and trippy jam too.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            New album next month.

          • Scrimm

            Fuck I have to go to the dmv today.

          • W.

            Good luck, my brother!

          • Scrimm

            I see it going something like this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knXRnvpcL_A

          • Fight bravely, warrior.

          • Howard Dean

            Good luck with the crazies. It’s been a busy/crazy day for the Howard, too. Doctor’s appointments, performance reviews at work, committee meetings, machete-fighting the Mexican drug cartels. Shit.

            One of those things didn’t actually happen. It’s totally not the machete fight, though. That happened. For real.

          • Scrimm

            The machete fighting is a daily think here in AZ. good luck out there bro.

          • KJM

            Next week for me. It’s just to renew my State ID so it should be no biggie.

          • Scrimm

            Luckily I was able to do that online.

          • KJM

            I put it off for wayyyyy too long to do that.

          • Scrimm

            That sucks.

          • The Prophet Mohammed

            PRIMUS SUCKS!

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            Incorrect. Thanks for playing.

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            I hate you guest. I just hate you so damn much. PRIMUS SUCKS! Now make out with me, the gods demand it!!

          • The Prophet Mohammed

            Any true Primus fan knows that Primus sucks. Obviously, you are not a Primus fan.

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            ^^this guy gets it.

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            Grab yourself a can of PORK SODAAAAA!!
            You’ll be feeling just fine!

          • Metaphysical Anus

            No! I want to return back! this is hell!

    • Randall Thor

      You’ve never seen it, so that’s understandable

      • Metaphysical Anus

        Says the guy that loves pop

    • IronLawnmower

      The hall of metals.

  • Randall Thor

    Just to be spiteful, I almost want to translate this to sheet music so we can see what it really is.

    • The Devil

      Pretty sure it’s just F# whole notes bro.

      • Randall Thor

        YES BUT THEY ARE NOT TIED TOGETHER LIKE THAT.

        • The Devil

          It’s drone?

    • Link D. LeonhⒶrt V.

      hope you share that! i want to see the notation 🙂

  • KJM

    Less Than 5 Chords = Not Music

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVEhDrJzM8E

    • I’m upvoting you not because I necessarily agree that music needs 5 or more chords but because I need this jam to revitalize me after that Nortt drag.

      • KJM

        It’s all good. It was supposed to be an ironic/snarky statement anyway. I’m a huge T.Rex/Marc Bolan fan.

  • Tyree
    • Metaphysical Anus

      I hate this band.

      • Tyree

        Get out.

        • Metaphysical Anus

          I’m already standing outside. It’s pretty nice out here.

        • W.

          Is it wrong to like the Van Halen version of this song?

          • Tyree

            Nah, I love that cover!

          • Edward Meehan

            Then, is it wrong to love this cover as well?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8j-wE0Mg0GA

          • crazytaco_12

            Wow, this is fucking badass and I had no clue it existed

          • Edward Meehan

            Then I have done my job for today.

          • The Prophet Mohammed

            After witnessing Van Halen live, I can say I hate this song. Alex was the worst drummer I have ever witnessed in my life. Lars might be the one we all bash, but Alex really deserves it.

          • KJM

            Alex was great way back when, but he’s watered down beyond belief now.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            Alex is still pretty on the ball, better than lars by far. Plus i don’t think i have ever heard the guy open his ttrap and cause trouble since the band’s inception. That has to count for something. ADKOT was a hell of a comeback even though it had re worked material.

          • Tyree

            I think we had this conversation before.

          • The Prophet Mohammed

            We may have, my life often feels like it’s on repeat.

          • i LOVED it when you yelled at that guy on FFB for talking trash on RiotAct666

          • The Prophet Mohammed

            That amateur had it coming.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Nice job sir.

          • Edward Meehan

            FFB?

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Failure For Blogs. (It means metalsucks)

          • as @metaphysicalanus:disqus said, it’s Failure For Blogs (@dario_argento:disqus’s name for M____S____)

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I think that king is not a title that deserves Conan. He should have a higher title.

          • Howard Dean

            Emperor? Generalissimo? Emperor of Central Africa by the Will of the Central African People, United within the National Political Party, the MESAN?

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Il Duce, Führer and the list just goes on.
            (I’m so sorry for this)

          • KJM

            No, it is not.

          • Cock of Steele

            No way, it’s got that fat guitar sound, with that chunky bass. I like my bass sounds, chubby.

          • and when it’s michael anthony, he uses a jack daniels guitar! so ‘murican.

          • Scrimm

            I have to admit I hate Van Halen more than any band. Ever.

          • Guest

            mind = spun.

          • Scrimm

            Sorry

          • Metaphysical Anus

            There is nothing wrong in saying this. This makes me love you even more.

          • i can’t downvote you; for nobody downvotes in the toilet. but my jimmies… it’s going to take some time to unrustle them.

          • Scrimm

            If it will help you are free to make trash bands I like. Just leave Bruce Dickinson out of it.

          • everyone loves bruce dickinson, silly goose! i will trash five finger death punch if you like them. but mostly i can’t trash peoples’ tastes because i like Nicki Minaj and Kelly Clarkson.

          • Scrimm

            I was actually going to say that maybe I hate ffdp more. And nickelback .(shudders)

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Chad Kroeger sounds like a singing asshole.

          • Scrimm

            This is one of the best things ever. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w_3TU-hFjg

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Oh yes! This is just so beautiful!

          • Scrimm

            This is not. It might be better than the real thing though.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I actually bought a Nickelback album once. I didn’t know the band. I hated that album so much.

          • Scrimm

            I’m sorry. We bought a store’s entire stock of Nickelback bumper stickers once, and put one on our old guitarist car. Every time he found it and got pissed and scraped it off we’d just replace it. it went on for MONTHS.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Did he leave because of that?

          • Scrimm

            Nah. He figured out we were gonna cut him.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I don’t think that you should cut people. It may be illegal.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Its not illegal, its just frowned upon like cannibalism and cousin fucken.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            in my neck of the backwoods the activities you mentioned are commonplace , it’s just a question of the order you do them in.

            ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • Randall Thor

            I am stealing this idea

          • Scrimm

            It was a lot of fun, trust me. sometimes it would be a couple weeks before he’d notice it.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            That’s funny.

          • Scrimm

            It was one of my better ideas.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Dammit! I can’t rustle you jimmies because I like Bruce Dickinson.

          • That new Niki Minaj song is fucking awful, but sweet baby Jebus on a pogo stick, that ass!!!!!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDZX4ooRsWs

            Oh, and the fart remix!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-t5iFaAt5M

          • i think she’s hawt as fuck, and has a few great songs in her discography. no shame. AND if i got bishes in the car, they don’t wanna hear Vader! i put in some Nicki and they happy.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            i was thinking last night that you must not like dianno at all. Am i right ? Bruce can do all the dianno material and elevate to the art it is while dianno could not even do ONE bruce song. Bruce even made some of the blaze material decent. I have to say i enjoy every iron maiden album , i bought x factor first day and forced myself to like it until i eventually did. But i listened to Virtual XI once, and that’s all i could do. Thank god bruce and adrian came back.

          • Scrimm

            I love the first two albums, especially Killers, and Di’anno did a good job on them. That being said I think he’s a pretty pathetic person and his Bruce bashing is almost sad. The jealousy is funny. Sounds like a fairy my ass. Bruce would probably fuck him up the fuckin wifebeater. I like the X Factor, and won’t argue about the quality of virtual XI, but it holds a special place for me. It came out a couple months before I went into the Army, and the first time I saw them was two weeks before I left.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            So your first IM show was with blaze ? Did he handle the dianno or bruce material better. It was an uphill battle for him. It was the gig of a lifetime but also the pressure was probably crushing. I think janick gets too much flack too, he really enjoys himself on stage and the more guitars the better in my opinion.

          • Scrimm

            Yeah it was. Hard to say which material he did better with because I was about 3 feet away from them and my excitement was sky high, but I’d go with the Bruce material cause you could just seeing him giving it everything he had even if it wasn’t close to being enough. I like Janick too, I think he gets a raw deal. the guy obviously loves being up there so much. I think he’s a bigger fan than any of us.

      • KJM

        PBBBBTTTTHHH!!!!

        • Metaphysical Anus

          That really hurt my emotions .__________.

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      I like a lot of their smaller 70’s and 80’s hits. This sounds a bit like the chord progression for teen spirit.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHTPz1vtwBo

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      remember the band who did safety dance ? men without hats, totally went electric and put out this rocker well before nevermind as well. Very close to teen.
      SORRY VIDEO FUCK UP , SEE BELOW.

  • There is only Nortt. I have this album. You should too.

    • Howard Dean

      I do. I listen to it when I’m grave robbing. Byah!

  • Mr Poturdlehead

    4 chords or less are only acceptable when they take 10 minutes or more to repeat. Nice call on the F#

    • Randall Thor
      • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

        That young man could use a shower.

        • Mother Shabubu III

          He looks like Tara Reid if she had a sex change wanting to look like Russel Brand.

  • IronLawnmower

    4chords are all you need baby!

  • Ferris Mueller

    Every Halloween we blast Nortt, Sunn O))) and other drone etc all through our cul de sac and it scares the piss outta parents more than little kids.

    • Ferris Mueller

      Oh, and we live in the deep south bible belt which makes it even better

      • Xan

        I do the same thing. This year I think I’ll be blasting a little Lustmord too. https://lustmord.bandcamp.com/track/immersion

        • Metaphysical Anus

          I love you for loving Lustmord.

          • Xan

            <3

          • Mother Shabubu III

            Sir, I’d like to shake your hand.

          • we’ll all shake each others’ hands at MDF 2015!!!

          • Metaphysical Anus

            All? Remember Jimmy, remember.

          • don’t remind me :(we’ll skype, bby

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I don’t have a skype. Plus, I don’t like showing my face to strangers.

          • Scrimm

            This truly makes me sad I chose California next weekend to MDF 2015.

          • i have read your statement several times and still don’t understand it. you can’t make MDF 2015?

          • Scrimm

            No I only had the money for one trip and chose Monsterpalooza next weekend in Cali instead of MDF.

          • it’s may of next year, you’ve got time! just shake down nerds for their lunch money (then stuff them in lockers)

          • Scrimm

            I’ll try of course, but I am currently job searching. I shouldn’t be going to Cali either but I just cant pass the opportunity up.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Am I invited?

          • all flushers are invited. hopefully there will be a toilet big enough for everyone there!

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Thanks buddy, I will try to make it. I do have one question. You’re not going to bite any homeless guys over there or are you Det?

          • is that a deal breaker? just keep me away from the bath salts.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            That is the hand he uses to masturbate.

          • Mother Shabubu III

            Pfff, I don’t even use my hands anymore. I’m so lazy I use the vibration from a neck massager.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I use my mother’s old rusty hunting knife.

          • Edward Meehan

            I haven’t really listened to much Lustmord but I am upvoting you because I love this.

        • who is this Lustmord you speak of? we do not have Lustmord in the United States.

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          That Melvins Lustmord CD was awesome.

      • Elite Extremophile

        Gotta help those kids get in the Jesusween spirit.

    • Howard Dean

      I don’t even get trick-or-treaters. I think they are scared of the corpse on the front steps. Or the loaded handgun I wield when opening the door.

    • Portal would be great for that as well!

  • Guest

    I fucking hate rage comics.

    • W.

      I’m with you there.

    • IronLawnmower

      Last time i saw one was like 2011.

    • I don’t know if anyone doesn’t. What this means is that I’m too lazy to draw my own faces.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed
    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      Ugh I wish the HTML that came along with Disqus wasn’t so confusing so I could shrink the youtube posts in the comments. My apologies for the giant PT post.

    • such a not good song from a great album!

      • YourLogicIsFlushed

        Haha agreed, not very interesting. Too bad Russia on Ice wasn’t relevant to this post.

        • one time a friend and i did some illegal drugs and were looking for something to listen to. i put on Porcupine Tree and he said, “nah they’re trying too hard.” so we jammed out to BTBAM.

          but i sure do love some Porcupine Tree!!!

          • Metaphysical Anus

            You did drugs? I’m gonna have to decrease some points.

          • don’t judge me, guy!!!

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I judge everyone. Every day I silently judge people at work.

          • well i’m super nice and sociable. i think you would judge me positively IRL

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I dislike positive and sociable people IRL.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I’m also super nice and sociable. On top of that I am beautiful to look at and people love me. There is things that I have done that would make people sad but I’d rather not talk about those.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            You’ve sucked some cawk!??

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            No I haven’t as I’m not gay. I’m not going to say it as only one person needs to know and I haven’t even told them yet.

          • Hey you’re being weird again. Stop that.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            i never took you for a crooked cop McNulty. I’ll forgive you though as long as you look the other way on my planned abduction of taylor.

          • have you heard “Sweet Things” off the new album?
            siqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            oh yea, i listen to it everyday pretty much. My biggest regret is i wasn’t aware of her a year and a half when she played a tiny club , damn that would have been great. Now on her current tour the closest city she is going to in canada is vancouver which is like a 3 day drive. The pain of life. You should go to her if she plays near you and i can live vicariously through you.

          • go to MDF 2015, it HAS to be close to Canada. We can meet up IRL!!!

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            man if i could i would. It’s like at least 5000 miles away from me though. Look on a map, i am in the miiddle of the province of saskatchewan , it’s a hell of a long ways to maryland. I would have to check out air fare costs and save a lot of money. What month is it ? There is a few things i can’t miss next year like the rush 41st anniversary tour and taylor so i would have to plan carefully. That would be a hell of a fucking fun time though.

  • Guacamole Jim

    The picture for this series fills me with joy.

    EDIT: inb4 “lifelover”

  • Phuo

    I don’t think you need the # symbol every time, just the first, then it is implied until a natural cancels it out.

  • George Clarke

    still making rage comics in 2014. wow.

  • crazytaco_12

    Probably my favorite Saint Vitus song and it’s super simple (as well as all their other shit) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=em33sWBfyIs

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      wino is god. I mean just look at his face, He is the lemmy of doom/stoner/retro metal.

      • crazytaco_12

        Saw Spirit Caravan this year, least occupied show I’ve ever been to but it may have one of the best I’ve seen all year. TEAM WINO!!!

  • Stockhausen

    I love this.

  • Jöhnny Crünch™

    Why can’t you upvote an article?