MSD & Friends’ Riff ov the Week: The Non-Guitar Edition (11/8/14)

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My wife can’t stand Yanni.

She says it’s not so much the music as it is the fact that the guy tucks sweaters into his pants. Nevertheless, Joe decided that he’d be a good posterboy for this week’s selection of non-guitar-centric riffs, and I agree wholeheartedly. Plus, just look how happy he looks up there. He’s honored as shit about this, his greatest accomplishment.

Oh right. We need talk about last week. Here’s the lowdown. Tyree obliterated you all with Morbid Angel. It wasn’t even close. Everyone join me in reciting The Brosary — say ten “hail beers” in honor of Tyree’s victory. Appease your Riff God.

 

Business as usual:

  • Next week is all normal and stuff.
  • Send your riffs to toiletovhell@gmail.com. Do it quick!
  • Got a great idea for a themed RotW? Let me know in the comments.
  • VOTE FOR THE BEST RIFF, NOT YOUR FAVORITEST BAND, YOU PARTISAN FUCKS.

 

Masterlord SteelDragon

Remember that one time that one blog said that Eluveitie was the best band in any type of folk metal? Well, they were wrong/laughably stupid as usual and it’s actually Moonsorrow. While it’s true that in recent years the term epic has been claimed by BDubs bros around the world to describe their waitresses’ breast size and/or their CoD kills, I maintain that Moonsorrow is truly worthy of the adjective. Your proof is at around 2:08.

 

W. 

“In a Gadda Da Vida” is one of the first really long songs I heard, and the entire 17 minute length is stuffed with psychedelic and hypnotic weirdness, constructed around one main cyclical guitar riff. However, from about 6:30 to 9:11, we are witness to an awesome drum jam that constitutes my choice for Riff of the Week. The drum and keys section from 9:11 to 11:00 isn’t too shabby either.

 

Stockhausen

My mother always told me that a good drum riff is hard to find (never those exact words or anything close, but basically that). Luckily for us, Decapitated gives us a refreshing, albeit slightly puzzling drum riff in “Day 69.” I’m tempted to think that a guitar part originally went over this solo drum section, but was ultimately cut. Vitek’s insane technicality is put on hold in favor of a simpler, spacious pattern that acts as a riff and a breather before the plunge into the monstrous recap. That, flushers, is a drum riff, regardless of the original intention. It starts at about 2:17.

 

Elite Extremophile

We all knew that “Schism” would be on here. While I’m going to be long decayed before they finish that new album, at least we still have this riff.

 

Brock Samson

Brock Samson here. This is my first time contributing to the toilet and I have come swinging for the fences. The organ riff from “House of the Rising Sun” starting at 1:40 simply cannot be beaten so you all might as well as bow down already. Seriously though, was there anything more metal than this song in 1964? I will answer for you — NO!

 

MoshOff

Keyboard riff at 0:11. Kevin Moore’s tone on that album is second maybe only to Jon Lord. Also Jordan Rudess is a hack and I cannot understand why DT nerds jock him so hard.

 

Detective McNulty

Violin riff!  This was my first exposure to Agalloch (in Canada, after Heavy T.O. in 2013, drunk and stoned). I was like “lolwut” then “Into the Painted Grey” came next and spun my mind. My friends and I call this “the babbling brook song,” but we all love it because it sets the tone and means the next track is going to rocket us into the void!

 

Death

I need to thank Belgium for giving us one of my favourite bands ever. Univers Zero were a part of the Rock in Opposition movement, which is known for making challenging prog rock. Univers Zero remained completely acoustic in their early years, but added electronic instruments later. In my opinion Heresie, their second album, is their magnum opus. “Jack the Ripper” is found on that album. I know that the song is too long for some of you, but at least listen to the first 6 minutes.

 

Nordling Rites ov Karhu

Solstafir released what may be heralded as THE autumn album earlier this year and it just so happened to include an infectious little banjo part into Otta’s title song. It begins at 6:30.

 

Gorgasm

Why don’t you just sit back, and I will tell you the tale of a little piece of shit robot that nearly made me hate video games. Not really. But seriously fuck the Cut Man (from Mega Man of course). That damned rolling cutter move nearly flash boiled my blood and I would not be here to share this little number from the spastic super-nerds known as Horse the Band. Listen for the sweet synth riffage beginning at 3:10.

 

Zeke… or Isaac. Whatever.

I never entered a riff of the week before, but when I saw this week’s theme, I wanted to make sure the ungodly Necromantia got represented… until I thought about it a little more and realized the most badass part of the most badass album ever recorded centers around a keyboard line. The riff starts on guitar a bit earlier, but it peaks when Ihsahn’s demon keyboards kick in at 2:08. Crank it up and descend!

 

Call the Slambulance

These fellas are mutual friends, and as to why I didn’t think to submit them for the Best Unsigned Band competition beats me. They fucking slay! There’s a little bit of something for everybody in this genre mashing folk metal outfit, throwing some thrash and absolutely necessary power metal into the mix. The party-tastic keyboard riffage that comes in at the 0:18 mark (and prevails throughout) is a monster and invokes thoughts of Norsemen getting shit-hammer wasted after stabbing a bunch of people in the dick. Dance with me and rejoice, fellow Flushcateers!

 

Edward

I’m thinking outside the box on this one, guys. No banjos or mandolins. In 2011, Prurient broke from his decade plus career of releasing ear destroying noise albums to put out Bermuda Drain, highly accessible by his standards. The central “riff” in this song is really just a melody which begins almost immediately (0:02) and repeats for the entire track. If this doesn’t get you moving, you are a corpse already.

 

Coolstorybro

“Rainbow in the Dark.” Dio. If you didn’t immediately think of this keyboard riff (so much cheez, so much goodness), you don’t deserve life.

 

Cock ov Steele

King Diamond may be cancelled but I still got the funk to brighten my evening. This whole song is really just bass and drums (with some vocals and horns tossed in) but seriously, that riff just rumbles throughout the entire song. And is a must-jam for any bassist.

 


NOW CHOOSE


This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 11-07-2014 21:02:55
end_date 11-09-2014 09:00:00
Poll Results:
I pick...
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  • MoshOff

    I’m kicking myself for not thinking of the Day 69 drum break, good pick.

  • Pagliacci is Kl/rke

    Well since you guys were so afraid of my riff this week I gotta go with McNulty. BUT that’s not a violin. It’s Jackie Perez Gratz (Giant Squid, Grayceon, Amber Asylum) on cello. I’m going to go ahead and crown myself the Lord George Clarke of the week anyway. This was my submission: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LFCG7kOsxE

    • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

      I, too, was pained when I submitted Kyuss for the 1995 RotW but made it too late. Getting into this contest can be tough now lol. Cash rules everything.

      • Pagliacci is Kl/rke

        Procrastination is kvlt.

        • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

          That week I submitted Tuesday night, did not get in.

          This week I submitted Sunday night, barely got it.

    • Aw crvd, I’m sowwy!

    • Pagliacci is Kl/rke

      Non-metal, but the three opening non-guitar riffs of this song qualify as trve kl/arke as well: http://youtu.be/0h2h9-DRrTM

      • VV.

        Man, I love BMG

  • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

    MasterRiot SteelAct’s shit is tight this week. I know about as much of folk metal as I do of power metal, but this is rather enjoyable.

    • Moonsorrow might be my favorite band. You should dive into their discography. All of their albums rule, so there’s really no bad place to start.

      • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

        What’s the power metal band that RiotBauer likes? There is one specifically, that is all you guys lol

      • Im starting to get all star-struck with you Mr Dragonpants. Your taste is… c’est magnifique

        • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

          Oh, a ToH love affair??

          <3 <3 <3 <3

      • Xan

        Moonsorrow are an exceptional band.

  • Mr.CustodialArts

    Such a wide array of tastes and styles represented this week! (VOTES FOR DIO) That’s the great thing about us metalheads-we can be as open-minded as we are assholishly pretentious. (FUCKING VOTES FOR DIO) I couldn’t imagine going through life slavishly devoted to ONE genre of music (♪ RAINBOW IN THE DAAAAAARK! ♫). People like that BORE me. (MAY 6 2010 NEVER FORGET).

    • actovGod666

      FUCKIN DIOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    • KJM

      You fucking KNOW IT. m/

  • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

    I’m playing W’s track, the second one, and this is already becoming difficult.

    I feel like I have heard a more modern, concise version of this song or at least that tune, da da da da dun dun dun da da da da dun dun dun

    • VV.

      My choice is classic. Flush everyone who doesn’t vote for VV.

      • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

        Flush ’em all, no regrets, flush them into the most vile, stench ridden, putrid toilet ov obskurity filled with hungry mutated piranhas.

  • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

    Stockhausen’s Decapitated track is monstrous.

    • Riotockhausact 666

      This man knows.

  • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

    Schism >>>>>>

  • Went with Dio because duh. Lots of really good submissions this week, though.

    • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

      I’m on House of the Rising Sun I’m lost as for who to vote for. You guys are stuck with my play by play until I need to wander off and shower lol

      • What is “shower?”

        • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

          ShowerAct RiotSoap 666

          • Do we have to change our names back?

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            I’m not. At least not now.

            My cat is feeling this Dream Theater jam.

          • Mr.CustodialArts

            Cuz he’s a PUSSY. >swish<

          • trill rocket

          • Its not #GREATRIOTFRIDAY anymoar =/ I felt obligated out of tradition. Like Lent, or passover or somethin

          • JamesGrimm

            peer pressures a bitch.

          • Pagliacci is Kl/rke

            Joe ThrashnKl/rke

    • VV.

      You were supposed to vote for me you non-colluding ingrate!

    • Xan

      I enjoy your new profile picture very much. All hail King Knight.

  • This week really hard to choose. My first major instinct is to insta-click on Agalloch (because, duh). Good one, this time, gents.

  • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

    OH FVCK Agalloch

    • duh, its like… where you been, bro?

      • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

        Slowly working through these tracks!

        Univers Zero is pretty trill too, shit.

        • Is an extreme toss up (negating my instinct) between Dragonpants/Stockhouze/Nordlings submissions, for me. (edit, of course McNulty’s too)

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            I should just vote for myself and walk away, LOL

            (I have never done that, I kid)

          • Might have to change my name to Dragonpants because of you.

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            DragonPants RiotLord has a pretty trill ring to it.

          • Are we gonna start saying “trill” now, too?

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            If you’d like to. If it catches on I would not be horrified, it would be

            >>>>>>>>>>>>>

          • I’ll try and pepper it in every now and then.

          • JWG

            RiotLord DragonPants scans like a certain absorbent and porous pineapple-inhabitant.

            I suspect There Can Be Only One, though…

          • Well, I’m not saying I’m the greatest, or anything. I’m also not not saying that, either.

          • Nordling Rites ov Karhu

            Oh mighty Masterpants Dragonlord. Tell me oh you who knoweth of the metal ov power so much more than I. How rare is Twilight Guardians’ Land of the Kings Ep?

  • Nordriot Act 666

    Masterlord obviously.

    • Death

      Don’t tease me!

      • Nordling Rites ov Karhu

        I wouldn’t dare.

  • JW[OM]G_Act 666

    House of the Rising Sun is a constant feature in any YouTube binge I might go on. I could not vote for anything but it.

    Also:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZjZBe6o78M

    Bass riff from 0:00. Sax riff from 1:10 leading into solo @ 1:31.

    • JamesGrimm

      criminally underrated.

    • shit son, forgot about Morphine! great stuff

    • VV.

      Morphine >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

    I’m really the only one that voted for MoshOff?

    • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

      I have not voted yet. Shit is hard.

      • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

        Dream Theater is one of my favorite bands, and the band that got me into the progressive metal genre. Plus, 6:00 is a badass song.

        • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

          I might just vote for the last funk track by Cock Ov Steele.

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            Do it

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            Ha, I did, I had to.

            I feel like people are just skipping over Prurient though…

            =/

          • I hasn’t votard yet either. Week’s fuckin’ trill.

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            YES

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            Emperor’s is pretty kickass too, though.

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            I know dude that one caused me to pause, I love Emperor.

            I like that DragonPants pointed out not to just vote based on names though, I feel like that may happen in this contest a lot. There were two weeks in a row I voted for HD for bands I was not wholly familiar with but both tracks just slayed, I don’t think either was the week he won.

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            Yeah

          • The solution would be to take excerpts from the songs and make them not have titles/names. Would eliminate the problem, but I’m not sure if its worth all the effort/trouble.

          • I don’t think anyone would be willing to put in that much work for a fake competition.

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            Hahahahahaha

          • Death

            I did listen to it but didn’t find it the best in the show.

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            This is a brutal competition.

          • Death

            By the way, I feel like people are skipping over my riff as well. Let’s hug.

          • If it makes you feel any better, yours was very close.

          • i listened to the whole thing. and enjoyed it thoroughly

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            *hugs*

          • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

            I really like your submission this week. I’m not familiar with Univers Zero but I like what I hear. Gonna dig into their discography later when I get a chance.

  • Death

    Is 7th of November going to be the annual RiotAct day from now on?

    • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

      It should be.

    • If you think this group of numbskulls can remember that

      • Death

        I’ll mark that shit on the calendar.

        • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

          Me too

      • prolly not… cause beer. but i’m sure you folks’ll remind me.

        • Death

          I’ll shove a post-it note up your butt so you’ll remember.

        • I dont even remember what’s happening right now, bro!

          • are we in Inception right now?

          • Riotact ov Steele!

            I’m still waiting for a Mr. Meseeks novelty account.

          • Would consider that the worst/best episode. I just wanna die! We all just wanna die!

          • Cock ov Steele

            I’m Mr. Meseeks look at me, and I say Follow through!

          • “Is he following through?” “Oh he’s tryin!”

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            A dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

            Only firefighters can bring ladders into the next dream level.

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            Shit…..

    • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

      Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren’t
      looking for anything logical, like money. They can’t be bought, bullied,
      reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world
      burn.

  • never in my life would i have expected to say the following:
    i’m town between two Finns.

    • Death

      Banjo is really close to a guitar, just saying.

      • I still haven’t voted, my decisions more in the group sex arena right now.

  • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

    Is Solstafir even metal?

    • Death

      They used to be.

      • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

        Oh yeah, it says on Metal-Archives they used to be atmosperic black metal.

        • Death

          Their new albums is still foocking great.

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            Oh yeah! That’s one of the two albums Angrymetalguy gave a 5 out of 5. The other being Pale Communion. That site is EXTREMELY judgemental.

          • Death

            Those two are really good albums.

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            You prefer Kayo Dot over Pale Communion, right?

          • Death

            Yepsiedoodles.

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            I think Machine Head’s new album is REALLY close to becoming my AOTY. Hey, i’ve been a MH fan for a long time.

          • Death

            I’ve never liked them and it hasn’t chased.

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            I understand. We all have our own ears, and we choose what we and what we don’t like.

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            Not choose, but you get the idea.

          • M Shadows!

            Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen!

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            M Shadows!

          • The Soda Drinking Hat

            I am your hat!

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!

          • VV.

            Careful saying that here. There be wolves afoot who don’t dig on MH. I do, though. I support you.

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            Thanks for the heads-up……

          • Riotockhausact 666

            I am a wolf afoot. Machine Head? More like Machine Butt. Hehehehe.

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            They have a song called Wolves. 😛

    • does Solstafir even lift bro?

      • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

        HA

        • glad you enjoy our Saturday Toilet Shenaniganry!

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            Oh yeah!

      • Maybe i’ll listen to it while lifting today, bro. That way they can lift by proxy

    • Nordriot Act 666

      Well they were, so technically they are. Almost.

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Difficult decision this week. Great submissions all around. Gonna take some time to decide who gets my vote…

    • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

      Where’s Matt Pike’s Sweaty Right Nipple?

      • it embraced the void

        • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

          Yes, so it did.
          I’m number 1.

      • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

        You must be new here. Welcome, friend. As for Righty, some questions are best left unanswered…

        • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

          Yes, i’m new here.

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            You seemed new. If no one has welcomed you to the Toilet Ov Hell, allow me to be the first! Welcome, friend.

          • Death

            I got him here from FFB last week, so technically I was the first to welcome him. Also at least W and Joe have welcomed him.

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            Death/MA good work, and thanks for pointing out that I was only the fourth to welcome our new comrade.

          • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

            Thanks! I’ve been welcomed though, by Death.

          • VV.

            I welcomed him last week you hoser!

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            Invisible Oranges welcomed him to the Toilet Ov Power Electronixxx?!?!

          • VV.

            Refresh, you nerd!

          • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

            Nobody got time for dat.

          • i lulled

    • Riotact ov Steele!

      Same here. I might have to pick one out of a hat.

      • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

        I voted for the funk. Who’s got the funk?

        WE GOT THE FUNK

  • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

    Man, Dio is badass too! Dammit

  • Beunhaas

    I forgot to submit a riff, because I didn’t, because I forget things. Consider this my unofficial riff of the week. The beautiful cello bits on Grayceon’s All We Destroy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47LmusWUGvg

    • This album was trill. I might have voted for it if you had submitted it.

    • cello FTW (unfortunately mistook my entry for violin)
      mcnulty == poser

  • Death

    I listened to all of these tracks at once. It was beautiful.

    • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

      I’m trying that right now, actually.

    • track six at half speed, track nine at double
      -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    • There’s no animals mating video. Doesn’t work.

    • Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen

      SHIT IT SOUNDS LIKE ALIENS FIGHTING!

    • The Satan Ov Hell

      sounds like metal Trout Mask Replica

    • Poseur Diposeur

      For real. Larry Graham is the man

  • Tyree

    Vitek >>>>>>>>>>

    That drum solo section conquers all!

    • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

      Beast shit.

      • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

        Fauna feces.

    • Riotockhausact 666

      TRVLY

  • Shit I forgot to submit a beyond creation bass riff. I failed.

    • Death

      You dimmadone goofed!

    • Lacertilian

      I was going to protest vote the Invidious banjo riff, but the idea of riling the Masterlord seemed a bad idea.

      • Nah, riling the masterlord is fun, especially when u make fun of him for his love of deafhaven.

        • Lacertilian

          I don’t think I’ve listened to deafhaven but his love of power-metal is low hanging fruit as it is.

  • Gurp

    RIFFLESS PLEBS

  • Off topic: children are disgusting. I’m waiting to get my hair cut while watching some snot nosed jerk smear his saliva drenched lollipop on every surface around. I feel sticky.

    • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

      Fun fact: young children on average have a significantly increased amount of fecal matter particulate on there hands and fingers, and transfer this fecal residue onto every surface they touch.
      *…..The more you know!*

    • Mr.CustodialArts

      “Oh, you enjoy YANNI too?”-old white lady peeking at your iPad in SUPERCUTS.

      Are they playing bro-country over the speakers? Christ Joe, I haven’t paid for a haircut in 10 years…granted, my hair looks like a dogs ass in need of Propecia, but I just can’t deal with the public…ESPECIALLY on a fucking weekend-RATS OUT OF THEIR FUCKING CAGES.

      • Everyone here is a mouth breathing moron. Including me. Damn this gorgeously thick head of hair.

        • Lacertilian

          Buzz cut #0 Joe.

      • VV.

        I haven’t gotten a haircut in 9 years. #baldandbeautiful

        • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

          I started cutting mine within the last year or two. I did have a barber cut off my beard so I let him do my hair too cause I didn’t have time that week.

          • YOU CUT YOUR BEARD?! NOT TRILL. ALSO I BUZZ MY OWN HAIR TOO DUBYA. BUT I’M THE OPPOSITE OF BALD #CAPSLYFE

        • KJM

          What is this “haircut” of which you speak? I do not know this word. ^_^

        • #Wahl?

    • FeelTheDarkness

      Kids are gross!!!
      Animals rule!!!

    • IronLawnmower

      There should be a law forbidding the little shits from going out in public at any point ever.

  • Not metal at all but anyone who says the sax intro riff to this song isn’t infectious is lying http://youtu.be/izGwDsrQ1eQ

    • VV.

      Hey, this guy doesn’t like George Michael! Booo!

    • Death

      I can’t dig this at all.

    • the sax that screams SEEEEX…

  • KJM

    coolriffbro!!

  • The Anus That Ate Detroit

    Non guitar riffs? Hmmmmm……

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aW9Y2KrulE

  • KJM
    • FeelTheDarkness

      Rules!
      And is one if my favorite Purp songs ever next to Black Knight

      • Cock ov Steele

        It’s also one of the most covered bonus-track songs by metal bands along with Cold Sweat.

        • Lacertilian

          Best metal cover of Burn?
          I need to hear this..

          • Cock ov Steele

            WASP, Riot among others.

    • @disqus_VdRaJdjIv2:disqus, there’s a special bromance betwixt Deep Purple fans.

      • KJM

        ^_^ Was lucky enough to see the ‘Perfect Strangers’ tour.

    • JöhnnytheMotherFuckin’Crünch™

      About fucking time.

      I was late but I came here to specifically see if this got nominated. KJM you have some quality taste.

      • KJM

        Thanx

  • Xan
  • Renan Ribeiro

    Cock ov Steele has my vote for SLAPPING DA BASSS

  • Off Topix: Whoever it was that kept droning on about Archspire, thank you. #ONBLAST

    • That would be Jack “archspirearchspirearchspirearchspire” Bauer.

      • Well, he just saved my world, yet again. #pissingoffyournewneighbors #saturdaysarefortechdeath #alsoDawnbringer

  • CT-12

    What the fuck, King Diamond got canceled? That fucking sucks man, sorry to hear (Cock ov Steele). Also, unrelated to what I just said, but man, I’ve been jamming on “In the Nightside Eclipse” for the last few days, great choice Zeke/Isaac/Whatever. Think I’mma surprise everyone though and vote for Edward, that song is too fucking goofy not to vote for.

    • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

      Yes. YES.

  • FeelTheDarkness

    Do for the win.
    I have to say Iron Maiden’s Where Eagles Dare due to it being Nickos intro to the world of Maiden

    • FeelTheDarkness

      I am so stupid. Dio for the win

  • Riot PhoenixAct 666

    Fuck FFB in their right ear for their hatred of folk metal.

    Moonsorrow crushes all wieners into dust.

  • Regardless of who gets the most votes, Horse the Band always wins.

  • Max

    Graham Central Station asbolutely DESTROYS everything here; even Iron Butterfly.

  • Lacertilian

    I was going to appease RiotAct666 and submit the sitar riff from Wherever I May Roam, whilst hailing the Danish prophet, toilet brush in hand.

  • Guest

    YEAHHH-AHHH!!!

    #AndTheEarthBecomesMyThrone

  • Beunhaas

    While we’re on the topic of non-guitar metal. Listen to the new Botanist album, it’s pretty gud. That’s not a guitar, it’s a Hammered Dulcimer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCqFqC2Ew9Q

    • Riotockhausact 666

      Botanist rules butts.

  • Huggy Bear OH YEAH

    Why haven’t I (or anyone else) thought of this earlier?!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOErZuzZpS8

  • I really needed to stop at the Graham Central Station because the afro.. And I must say that i’m not dissapointed!! Thanks for this eclectic list, guys..