MSD & Friends’ Riff of the Week (9/27/24)

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Congratu-fucking-lations to Leif Bearikson for winning last week. Apparently my Youtube video was not working or something like that.

That’s right. You didn’t deserve to win.

Leif

And your mustache is stupid and crooked and polar bears don’t even have mustaches traditionally.

Before we determine our next Riffwizard, let me take this opportunity to clue you all in on some upcoming changes to Riff of the Week. It’s been a blast seeing the community unite in unflinching devotion to The Almighty Riff and share their favorite manifestations of It with the toilet each week. My ears thank you and my neck begs futilely for mercy. Here’s the deal:

1. I’m getting so many submissions that I can’t always include them all. Starting next week, I’m cutting it down to 15 riffs. Don’t worry, your riff will be featured eventually. It just might take a week or two to show up.

2. To make things easier on me, let’s submit all riffs to toiletovhell@gmail.com. Be sure to include your Disqus handle.

3. Vote for me more or I’m shutting this whole fucking thing down.

4. We’re going to start spicing things up by implementing some themes every so often. Here’s Joe’s idea for next week. And I quote, “the siqqest movie sample + opening blast.” You’d better start thinking now if you want to beat the grindslaves.

That’s all. Without further ado, let’s get all riffed up. This week is KILLER.

 

Masterlord SteelDragon

Alright, I’m really getting sick of losing to these dorks week after week so I’m bringing out the big guns — Candlemass. The transition from “Gothic Stone” to “The Well of Souls” is riff legend. If you’re not using one hand to hold high your invisible wizard orb and the other hand to vote for this riff, I don’t even know what to say to you. Other than “What the fuck dude?” I’d say that. 0:47.

 

Joe Thrashnkill

The riff that opens “Children of the Cross” is ignorant rage incarnate. I WILL try to fight you to this riff.

 

W.

I’m stealing a page from Christian’s book and selecting a Jute Gyte riff this week. The song is called “Endless Moths Swarming,” and the riff around the two-minute mark sounds just like that. Prepare to have your flesh peeled from your bones.

 

Howard Dean

A recent discussion about a potential “Riff of the Year” post got me thinking about the biggest, baddest, most rad and unfuckwithable riff from 2013. This is it. Bölzer. “Entranced by the Wolfshook.” The main riff in this monster of a track is pure metal mastery (riff comes in at 0:08 seconds for those of you with ADHD). Holy fuck. As catchy as chlamydia and as serious as genocide. This riff will eat you alive and stick in your gray matter for weeks. The shamanic Swiss duo knows how to write great metal riffs. This riff and that tone are the end result of what one dedicated man can create with a 10-string guitar, a fuckload of pedals, and the dark energy of the universe. The best riff of 2013. “Sermon of the crooked cross. The pulpits rock with death.”

 

Edward Meehan

Gridlink‘s Longhena is a lock for my Best Albums of 2014, so I’ll spare you the cutesy description on this go ’round. Wait for it. Watch for it. Prepare your pens, notebooks, and laptops for screen capture. Riff at 0:49.

 

Pagliacci is Kvlt

Earlier this week, my 7 year old son (not to be confused with our friend Strapping Young Lad!’s Seven Year Old Son) asked my wife and I “what is the meaning of life?” followed by “who created God?” I seized on the opportunity and said “hey, you know that band you like, The Ocean? They have a song that asks that some question, ‘who made God?'” And there you have it, my Riff of the Week is the opening riff to “The Origin of God” by The Ocean. A riff so nice, they made two songs out of it, but I find this song to be slightly superior to it’s precursor “The Origin of Species.” I think it’s the plaintive final verses and the blues-y sax outro that really make this song shine.

 

Jimmy McNulty

I never thought I’d be praising a band that shamelessly rips off Meshuggah (the main riff could have easily been on 2002’s Nothing), but here we are… this is what separates a band from the hundreds of “djent” startups. In-between aping Meshuggah is a fresh spin on the genre: the keyboards, the melodic vocals, the excellent bridge; they make it their own. So come here for the Meshuggah, and stay for all the extra ingredients sprinkled throughout!

 

Simon Phoenix

All these newfangled thrash bands want to have the perfect start off riff in their songs to get the circle pit going. Well, The Chasm, who are definitely not thrash but rather one of my top three death metal bands of all time, may have owned the majority of thrash with my riff of the week. At 1:29 (a little later in this live video) is an epic riff on a near perfect record chock full of them, everything leading up to it is the epitome of “building tension”. And then ten seconds later the song explodes like the barrel of the shotgun I just used to kill some hapless cops. If anyone ever asks me why the Chasm are awesome, I play them this song. And that riff is the catalyst that turns it from great to “my pants are moist.”

 

Flushgod Apocalypse

Just give this a listen because this entire fucking song riffs.

 

Jack Bauer

Aside from being fucking amazing, this is what hooked me on Gojira in the first place.

 

MoshOff

Very first riff. BOW TO RIFFMASTER ARJEN.

 

Renan

This album is so good I could submit a different riff from it every week until the whole thing has been posted. Opening the first song of the record we have a two headed beast: one that licks you with its tasty, syncopated groove and another one that crushes you with its teeth, alternating along with the vocal deliveries of none other than Wino and Scott Kelly.

 

Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

Doom metal can be very boring if everything is not exactly right, but when someone manages to do it right, it’s the best. The riff in The Funeral Orchestra‘s “Feeding the Abyss” is a prime example of great doom metal. By no means do I expect everyone to love it and, given a closer look, there’s not much to love. Not a whole lot going on. It’s a very bare riff. But something keeps pulling me back in to the cavernous depths time and time again. Sometimes I think about this kind of riff and, suddenly, they don’t seem good anymore. But then I turn this on and stop thinking silly things.

 

Max

The opening riff to the ultimate speed metal song: Annihilator‘s “Wicked Mystic.” Provided you’re partial to the more musically-studied fraternity of thrash (meaning – the Megadeth tradition as opposed to the Slayer one), I defy ANYBODY to put on their headphones, press play, hear this riff, and not finish listening to the song.

 

NefariousDude

Back when I was just a wee lad in high school, this album came out and converted me to the dark side for good. The whole album is just riff after riff, but one of my favorite moments comes in at 1:38 in “Pestilence.” Never had I heard the use of female operatic vocals and a sweet diseased groove used together. This shit makes me want to go trick-or-treating in an Ebola-ridden village. LONG LIVE THE KEENE MACHINE BYAH!

 

Xan

If the riff around 1:56 doesn’t make you want to beat everything in your immediate environment into submission, I don’t know what will.

 

Do the right thing.

This poll is closed! Poll activity:
start_date 26-09-2014 21:05:08
end_date 28-09-2014 09:00:00
Poll Results:
Who brought you the mightiest riff?
Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
  • W.

    Had to go with Max this week. Annihilator are tragically underrated.

    Edit: I also like watching the Masterlord cry.

    • Edward Meehan

      I’m leaning towards Joe.

      • W.

        That will make him happy. Also, howdy, Ed. I see that everyone else raged too hard last night.

        • Edward Meehan

          Aloha, W.

          Ha! They were raging.

          As the one guy who was not raging, I fell asleep on the couch watching Twin Peaks around 2:00 am and my cat got me up around 6:30 am.

          This week is tough for RotW. I’m liking MoshOff too…

      • Death

        I have to go with Pagliacci.

        • Edward Meehan

          Yeah that’s some solid riff action, too.

          • Death

            The Ocean is a dern good band. Their latest album was so good.

          • Beunhaas

            SO GOOD.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            ELP is the only band that matters! Tarkus or nothing!

          • Death

            …..

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I am not small minded! ELP is the band of the people and is the best prog band ever.

          • Death

            ELP knows nothing of the people (because ELP is the worst prog band ever). This is the man of the people.

          • Howard Dean
          • Death

            You American bastard! Wasn’t Washington a bad military commander?

          • Howard Dean

            He was known for tactical blunders but strategic brilliance.

          • Death

            By the way, I have a secret source that tells me that Washington was a great poof.

          • I don’t approve of where this is going.

          • Death

            You got something against homosexuals?

          • You know I don’t. I don’t like the slur you used nor the implication that it is a bad thing.

          • Death

            It was a joke, I didn’t mean to imply it as a bad thing. I also wasn’t aware that “poof” is a slur. It’s kind of hard to keep track on what’s offensive and what isn’t these days. But I’m just a white straight cis male, the ultimate evil.

          • Howard Dean

            I don’t know that that means, so I will assume that “poof” is Finnish/Euro slang for “leader.” By that definition, yes, Washington was a great poof.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            ELP is the best! Also, that man is not the man of the people. Tarkus is the best of the prog epics!

          • Death

            That’s it! You’ve crossed the fucking line! I can stand your lies about ELP being good, but do not insult my good buddy Marx!

    • Tears of molten steel.

    • I love…I love… Kraft dinner!

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    Seems that I forgot to mention it’s the riff around three minutes.

  • Death

    Maybe I finally remember to participate next week. Fuck my memory.

    • Edward Meehan

      I picked out my selection for next week yesterday, it’s a doozy.

      • Death

        I’ll have to start gathering riffs today. I will put a damn note on my fridge door so I will remember.

      • Cock ov Steele

        Same here, granted it’s one I have discussed along time ago, but when it comes to riffs it really is a monster.

        • Did you guys notice our theme for next week? You might have to adjust your choices.

          • Cock ov Steele

            Just did, and I am a fan, although it won’t be any easier to cut down choices with next week’s theme haha.

          • Death

            Dangit!

        • Edward Meehan

          Well now I guess there might be a special rule but I wanna submit the damn thing anyways lol

    • Cock ov Steele

      Same happened to me.

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    At last, I thought, I’m can vote Masterlord,but then I saw that dismember song, and that gridlink, and asphyx, and bölzer and…

  • Edward Meehan

    There is a short delay on my RotW so the riff is actually at 0:50 – 0:51, which you could likely figure out without this comment. Lol.

  • KJM

    ASG!!

  • MoshOff

    @joethrashnkill:disqus Can the movie samples be in something other than English?

    • Sure. You might be putting yourself at a disadvantage to other competitors tho if they can’t grasp it.

      • MoshOff

        Machetazo has like, 100000 movie samples, but all Spanish dubs of horror films. Will have to look harder.

  • Mr.CustodialArts

    Some killer selections as always, but that CANDLEMASS just crushes everything else with POWER and CLASS…LEAVE THE HALL! >WAVES ORB<

    • Cock ov Steele

      (Disintegrates posers with superradfuckawesomereallybrightGandalfstick)

  • Scrimm

    Joe gets mine. Asking me to choose between Asphyx and Dismember sucks But since it’s about the riff my nod goes to Dismember because David fucking Blomqvist. No Candlemass.

    • Edward Meehan

      I put in my vote for Joe’s RotW and I feel good about my decision. Otherwise I would have voted for myself (no, that’s cheating, lol).

      • Scrimm

        That one is not one of my favorites but I can’t vote against Dismember when it come to riffs, Blomqvist is my favorite guitarist not names Smith or Murray. If it had been about the Vocals Asphyx would have got the nod no contest.

        • Renan Ribeiro

          van Drunen is a madman! love his vox

          • Scrimm

            Yeah he’s my favorite, and a huge influence on my own vocals.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            Learning from the best is a great plan.

          • Scrimm

            That’s the idea I’ve always had a black metal voice, so doing more death oriented stuff works a lot better when I go for something like his style.

      • I fucked up. I got excited at the sight of ASG… But Gridlink is my true vote.

  • Xan

    Joe got mine. Fucking love Dismember.

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      gotta go with my man xan – ASPHYX – Tough choice though, real tough. 2nd and 3rd choices.
      Dismember = album title that reveals contents

  • Howard Dean

    The motherfucking Chasm! Thank you, Simon Phoenix! One of my favorite death metal bands, too. Absolute riff monsters!

  • FeelTheDarkness

    Shrinebuilder. I mean,c’mon

    • Cock ov Steele

      Srsly, I was between that and Candlemass but I had to give it to Shrinebuilder, that album is made for riffs.

      • FeelTheDarkness

        Riffbuilder

  • Sponge Of Mystery

    So I saw Deafheaven for the first time last night. They’re amazing live…just sayin…

    • Sponge Of Mystery

      also, Joe wins

    • Mother Shabubu III

      Hmm…a Sponge of Mystery? Could the mystery of the sponge be that you are another account of George Clarke? I know he posts here now and then.

      PS: Mystery of the Sponge is my favorite nautical-based noise rock band.

      • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

        I think sponge had a feature here where he told us about himself

        • Mother Shabubu III

          Well…that mystery debunking was more anticlimactic than an episode of MonsterQuest.

        • Sponge Of Mystery

          kinda, i wrote an article about industrial music

      • Sponge Of Mystery

        i go by sponge of mystery cuz that’s what the dirty bubble called spongebob before spongebob popped him with a pencil, so no, i am not George Clarke lol

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      are you going to leave the site quietly or we going to have to do this the HARD way ! hahahhahhah, jesting of course !

      • more beer

        Hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!jesting my ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • more beer

          Oh almost forgot I will know the answer to that art question you asked me by Wednesday or Thursday next week. Will let you know Friday if it`s Thursday since I`m going to see Primitive Man Thursday night.

          • Edward Meehan

            I’m jelly.

          • more beer

            Sorry man. Another reason living in Denver rules they are a local band.

      • Sponge Of Mystery

        it’s ok, i knew what i was getting into when i posted that comment lol

  • Scrimm

    Somebody’s cheating Joe!!! Four people said they picked your riff and I only see three votes! Corruption 🙂

  • Mother Shabubu III

    Voted for Yimmy McNulty.

    Been rockin’ to Vision of Disorder lately. Some good riffage in their latest album.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiNoQn9TGqM

    • Yeah, this was a nice return album from them. Supposedly they were going to put out 2 albums this year but I haven’t seen one yet. My guess is this is probably not happening.

      • Mother Shabubu III

        if VOD, Carcass, QOTSA, At the Gates and others have shown, it’s good to take large chunks of time off or away from your band. When you come back the music is fresher, better, and doesn’t sound like it was rushed or written to a schedule.

  • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

    Byyaaaaahhhhh!

  • Matt Pike’s Sweaty Left Nipple

    Dismember wins.

  • Simon Phoenix

    Lol the week I decide to come back on RotW and Joe, Xan, and fucking Howard pull a triple whammy on me. Well played fellas.

    (My vote goes to Xan, cause as much as I love Dismember and Bolzer, fucking Asphyx man.)

  • Beunhaas

    My vote this week goes to Jack, that entire song is MASSIVE. Jack Bauer for President.

    • Howard Dean, byah!

      • Beunhaas

        What has Howard ever done for us? Jack has saved us countless times.

        • Howard Dean

          :/

          Ever been to Guantanamo Bay? You might get a chance to visit after 2016.

          Dean-Flair ’16

          Byah life.

  • pïgchop™

    The mighty ANNIHILATOR is up there destroying everything else on the list and there is not a flood of votes raising a fist in the air for the one and only JEFF FUCKING WATERS?????? The riffage is outstanding.

    You people are on really bad drugs or are just generally fucked up.

    • I would easily give it to Annihilator for solo of the week. Shit is awesome.

      • Max

        Why DON’T we have a similar, “Solo of the Month”-type feature, come to think of it? It’s not all about the bedrock!

        • W.

          I think Riff of the Week is going to be Solo of the Week in two weeks

          • Max

            Rad. And eventually we can get around to Drum-Break of the Week. And Audible Bass of the Decade.

          • W.

            Would I win by default for posting the Amen break?

          • Max

            Well yes, you would. I suggest it would be as unfair as using a Tony Iommi riff for this contest (which I believe is against the rules; because Tony Iommi), but yes. You would.

            Maybe what we could do is have a week where everybody is obligated to post one example of the Amen break being used – and then we just all win a prize. That seems fair.

          • W.

            That would be fun. Maybe I’ll run a feature on it sometime in the near future. I’ve got a pretty prominent example from NIN in my mind.

          • JWG

            Best use of a woodblock.

            …Of the week.

    • W.

      I voted for Mr. Waters.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        I automatically voted for Annihilator. Alice In Hell and Never Neverland are my favorite thrash albums hands down not named Reign In Blood.

    • Sight Vnseen

      Criminally underrated. I saw a local band that covered them a few years ago. One of the best shows I’ve ever been to.

      Sixes and Sevens.

    • Mr.CustodialArts

      I may be wrong…but could you possibly be biased? YOU HAVE RUSH, YOU NEED NO FURTHER PROOF OF CANADA’S ROCK SUPREMACY.

      • Death

        They also have the definition of rock, Nickelback.

        • JWG

          I could point out that among the semi-mainstream of European metal your standard-bearers for the ‘folk’ subgenre appear – to the rest of the world – to be Korpiklaani.

          But any value as a retort to that cheap shot would be totally undermined because I actually like that band

          …when drunk and in a crowd of like-minded fans, but still…

          • Death

            I’m aware that we have our flaws in music as well. I hate many Finnish bands more than Nickleback, just because I have grown around them.

        • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

          you are being very cantankerous sir !

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        Canada has great bands like Rush, April Wine, Helix, Red Rider, Saga, Triumph and many more! I am proud of my Canadian heritage due to these great bands.

    • Calm down there, macaroni maniac, here’s you one!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9edk7qF9jn0

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      Why can’t Annihilator tour the US already? They live in Canada yet they only tour the other side of the world. Come back to the US Annihilator, your US fans want you to come back so badly!

  • old_man_doom

    Fuck yeah! Someone besides me likes Shrinebuilder! Also, fuck you for making me choose between The Ocean, ASG, Shrinebuilder, and Gojira. I want them all.

    • JWG

      In the end I just let a random number generator do it for me.

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      I love Shrinebuilder. I’ve read an interview that Wino gave and Wino said that their will never be another CD because Al is insane. Wino did not elaborate on that but he also said that Premonition 13 is over as well, but Spirit Caravan might record something new.

      • old_man_doom

        Yeah, i’ve come to terms with the fact that there will be no followup shrinebuilder record. I just take solace in the fact that the s/t is fucking great and all the dudes in the band are still making kickass tune.

      • Howard Dean

        That Wino quote is funny, though. Al seems capable/sane enough to continue writing new Om material, as well as touring with (and potentially writing new material for) Sleep. I wonder if Al just doesn’t jive with the other dudes in Shrinebuilder?

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          I tried to find other info on that and I couldn’t. I did see in a bootleg doc on the Obsessed where Henry Rollins said that Wino is an intense guy and the guys from Cathredal (I believe) said that Wino is scary. He made them do coke off a Rambo knife while Wino held it.

  • I’d like to share this one with ya’ll. The opening riff after sample when the drums kick just kicks the ever loving shit outta ya!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPDfzSbI2kk

    • crazytaco_12

      Nice man, digging that Zodiac reading sample thing in the beginning. Sick stuff, this is fucking awesome.

      • Is there a song you;d recommend for a beginner like me?

        • crazytaco_12

          Sort of confused by your question; do you mean you would like me to recommend a doom/stoner/sludge song to you, or just any song in general?

          • Nah, just that band. Already pretty familiar with sludge and doom.

          • crazytaco_12

            Oh, okay, well I don’t really know this band (maybe you meant to reply to the o.p.) but I know this band’s album is NYP on bandcamp, so you could make your decision from there 🙂

  • And my vote goes to Gridlink because that album is just oozing with sick riffage

  • NefariousDude

    Gotta go wit dat Candlemass my lord

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Annihilator for sure, though were this a different day of the week I’d probably go with something different. Saturdays are just good days to thrash your bones to jelly and not think too hard about it.

  • NefariousDude

    Candlemass for the win! Has anyone here heard twitching tongues cover of at the gallows end? Do any of you enjoy twitching tongues??

  • crazytaco_12

    Damn, there were some crazy fucking good jams this week. Props to NROK for that Funeral Orchestra, shit had me banging my head like my dad when he’s falling asleep during a movie but keeps waking to try to finish it. Props to everyone, very hard choice, but that Jute Gyte tickled my weird bone to the nth degree (make whatever joke you will of that).

    • W.

      Jute Gyte was a risky choice, but I had to give that song a go.

  • Cock ov Steele

    Really digging that Gridlink song, kinda has an Agent Steel/Racer X vibe.

  • Knight Solaire

    ASG always.

  • Renan Ribeiro

    This week was tough!

    If you guys like Gojira check out this album: https://thematador1.bandcamp.com/album/destroyer

    I’ve been revisiting it a lot for the past few days

    • W.

      The vocalist reminds me of the dude from The Chariot.

      • Renan Ribeiro

        Is this a good or a bad thing? He reminds me of Duplantier in the choruses… that sort of harsh yet still melodic (or at least emotional) vocals

        • W.

          Not a bad thing.

  • Gurp

    “the siqqest movie sample + opening blast.”

    So, basically, our favorite Mortician song?

    • JWG

      If anyone goes with post-Houde-era Kataklysm, I may be tempted to give them a sympathy vote.

      I just can’t quit them no matter how hard I try (or want to), either…

      • W.

        Honestly, I’ve loved the majority of Kataklysm’s output, although the last album fell sort of flat. I actually thought they did some neat things on Heaven’s Venom.

        • JWG

          No question what they do can be very good. I really really enjoy their last Live album, despite having a few songs that I thought fell flat in studio.

          I just feel the bar was set much higher than “very good” by the first few demos, EPs, and albums; including the few albums just after they made a stylistic switch. It wasn’t quite written to formula yet.

          • W.

            I still jam “Let Them Burn” frequently.

  • JWG

    Thought about saving this for a later week’s official Reader Submission, but I can’t resist the temptation to post it (again, TBH).

    From Atrous Leviathan, a local Death/Groove metal band, my ROTW submission: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsfUtSDz4SE

    Whole album:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZABI7zz8viY
    http://atrousleviathan.bandcamp.com/

  • Death

    Oh fuck! I would have a perfect song for next week, but the sample is not from a movie (at least I don’t think so).

    • Scrimm

      I have what I believe to be the best opening sample ever, but it’s not followed by a blast.

  • Leif Bearikson

    That doodled mustache lacks the majesty of my real mustache. How dare ye!

  • JWG

    Repurposed/reposted from a reply to W’s last Think Tank. “Straight Outta Voltron” is a jazz fusion-meets-prog metal side project of folk metal band ‘Scythia’.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvPGYu0XOMo

    – “SOV” (0:00-2:51) has a seriously funky bass riff. And a sax solo.
    – “Space Relic” (2:51-4:52) is an odd spoken word interlude track that starts out with what I swear is deliberate double-entendre innuendo. No riffs
    – “Astral Labyrinth” (4:52-8:26) jumps back and forth between thrashy riffs and pop-metal something-or-other. It’s the track that most reminds me of recent ‘Sigh’
    – “Paradoxical” (8:26-13:35) is the most “Scythia” of the tracks. More riffs.

    Verdict: SOV and Astral Labyrinth have the most memorable riffage. Solid EP. Will Listen To Again.

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan

    Annihilator is one of my favorite thrash bands. Their album from last year was awesome.

  • Came too late to vote, but Jack would’ve had mine.

  • Knight Solaire