Mrock – Shock: A Video Breakdown

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Prepare for the worst video of the year.

Mrock is… well, it’s sort of a band. Apparently, it’s just one guy, Pietro M. Rock Zanetti. Mrock (or M Rock, it appears differently in multiple places) is on Ghost Label Record. No, I didn’t forget the “s” in “Records”. It seems that bands from Italy making horrible videos is now an albatross around my neck because, of course, Mrock is from Italy. I’m now cursed to wander this world alone, watching really bad videos from really bad Italian bands. If this is because I make fun of Olive Garden, I apologize for nothing.

This is the worst video of the year. That is not exaggeration; that is no hyperbole. It’s not bad because of silly special effects. It’s not bad because it’s heavy-handed with its commentary. It’s not bad because it’s unintentionally goofy. It’s not even bad because it’s Motograter or Neurotic November. It’s just… look, you’re just going to have to watch it for yourself to really understand what I mean.

0:02: Two skulls? Now you know they mean business.
0:08: Footage of cracked pavement provided by a Biohazard video from 1994.
0:18: Oh… oh, dear.
0:21: Mwwwwwwwwah!
0:23: That sheet came pre-crusty from Goodwill.
0:30: That studded belt and chain wallet really draw your attention away from his bro-dora.
0:36: Did someone dress up their dementia-addled uncle as some sort of youtube prank?
0:39: Mrock looks just as confused about the situation as we are.
0:42: Nice dance moves, dude.
0:46: Easy there, Steven Seagal. Don’t want to pull your groin.
0:51: Is he dancing or did someone pour fire ants into his undies?
0:58: His facial hair screams “Chocolate donut-loving pederast.”
1:02: At least he’s got pointing down to a science.
1:05: Monkeys point!
1:08: Monkeys cry!
1:10: The poorly painted fingernails are the least of his problems.
1:17: Does… does he not know the camera is filming him?
1:24: He’s got the moves of a stroked-out Phil Collins.
1:30: Fun fact: If you google “can’t dance” this nightmare comes up.
1:34: I’m concerned that Mrock has some sort of inner-ear problem that’s throwing off his equilibrium.
1:42: These certainly aren’t the vocals I was expecting.
1:46: I’m not sure if that makes me feel better or worse.
1:49: Are his arms made of jelly? Maybe that’s the problem.
1:54: He’s not quite Nikki Sixx.
1:58: More like Nikki TwoAndThreeQuarterss.
2:05: If his head starts spinning around, I would not be surprised.
2:09: It would explain a lot actually.
2:16: I shouldn’t make fun of someone’s looks, but honestly, it looks like he’s starting to melt under those hot lights.
2:18: Like he just took a peak inside the Ark of the Covenant.
2:26: If you’re expecting something else to happen in this video, you’re sadly mistaken.
2:33: Changing into embarrassing outfits doesn’t count as something happening.
2:39: Mrock: Single-handedly making me wish I didn’t have a skull.
2:49: (Shudder)
2:52: That’ll replace the zombies in my nightmares.
2:58: Remember that scene from Rocky III when Mr. T’s character Clubber Lang predicted “Pain”?
3:03: That prediction easily applies to this video.
3:07: Also, it allows me to talk about something else other than this video.
3:10: Because, y’know, NOTHING IS FUCKING HAPPENING IN THIS FUCKING VIDEO.
3:14: FUCK! MAKE IT STOP!
3:18: This guy definitely tucks his wiener in-between his legs and does these dances in front of a mirror. [W. – I never miss an opportunity to post “Goodbye Horses”]
3:24: His face is sponsored by Instant Quaker Oatmeal.
3:29: Does that wall owe him money? What’s the deal with the kicking?
3:33: Oh, fuck you. I thought it was over.
3:36: Got my hopes up for nothing.
3:38: Good thing those goggles are on his hat otherwise he might not be able to see his sweet moves.
3:45: This video is ripe for gifs.
3:51: In fact, the whole video should come in gif form.
3:56: Someone make it happen.
3:57: Please, we need something good to come out of this natural disaster.
3:59: Here’s hoping he left the safety off.
4:09: Maybe he can press his eye up to the gun to see if it’s loaded.
4:14: Whoa, I think he’s actually going to do it.
4:17: I’ll bet there’s a very good reason why that gun smells like his crotch.
4:25: Fuck it. Let it happen. It would end the suffering.
4:28: Gross gross gross gross gross!
4:38: Worst E-Harmony commercial ever.

What a way to end the year. Thanks for the mental scars, Mrock.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Cock shock rock spock.

  • ┼yree
  • dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike

    • Max

      Agree. Agree.Agree. Agree. Agree.Agree. Agree. Agree.Agree. Agree. Agree.Agree. Agree. Agree.Agree. Agree. Agree.Agree. Agree. Agree.Agree. Agree. Agree.Agree. Agree. Agree.Agree. Agree. Agree.Agree. Agree. Agree.Agree. Agree. Agree.Agree.

  • Waynecro

    Surely this man is up to his lungs in pussy. Like, just swimming in tail.

  • 2:35: kicking the wall vents my frustration!

    • You made it to 2:35? You are a stronger man than I.

    • FRED DURST

      YOU NEVER GET FRUSTRATED AND JUST WANT TO KICK THA FUKKIN WALL BRUH? DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND THE KIND OF ANGER THAT IS REQUIRED FOR THAT!? THE KIND OF ANGER COMES FROM FUKKIN POSERS FRUD DERST HAS TO DEAL WITH EVERY DAY!

      FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

  • Waynecro

    Steven Seagal references >>>

  • it’s all fvcking heresy

    Is he trying to audition for Avenged Sevenfold? I mean it would just give me another reason to never listen to them.

    • M Shadows!

      YOU GOT SOMETHING YOU WANNA SAY BITCH?

      • it’s all fvcking heresy

        I’d say fite me at Bdubs but I don’t want to get coal rolled. HIS NAMES MROCK HES GUNNING FOR YOU.

      • Maik Beninton™

        What would happen if M Shadows and M Rock join stage:
        http://www.infostormer.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/nuke-bomb.jpg

        • more beer

          This is the solution!

      • FRED DURST

        OH HEY LOOK ITS THAT FUKKIN POSER M SHADOWS! LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE DEALING WITH AN EVEN BIGGER POSER THOUGH SO FRUD DERST WOULD LIKE TO OFFER HIS ASSISTANCE. JUST RENOUNCE YOUR POSERDOM AND QUIT BEING A LITTLE BITCH AND FRUD DERST WILL TAKE YOU UNDER HIS WING

        FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

        • Maik Beninton™

          Holy shit FRED DURST and M Shadows are in the same comment section.

          • FRED DURST

            FRUD DERST HAS BEEN AWAITING THE DAY TO DEAL WITH THAT FUKKIN POSER M SHADOWS! HE DOESNT UNDER STAND METAL THE WAY A TRU METAL GOD LIKE FRUD DERST DOES! HES JUST A FUKKIN POSER!

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • M Shadows!

            HAHAHA IS THAT WHY I CAUGHT YOU FUCKING TWERKING TO BABYMETAAL WHILE SINGING WEABOO LYRICS AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS INSTEAD OF USING YOUR LUNGS FOR USEFUL THINGS LIKE SUFFOCATING!?!?!?! HE WHO MAKES A BEAST OUT OF HIMSELF GETS RID OF THE PAIN OF BEING A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • Maik Beninton™
          • Spear

            I give them five minutes before they start making out.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I side with Durst.

          • M Shadows!

            JJD PLZ

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Im sorry. My friends side with you though.

          • FRED DURST

            SEE? THIS IS WHAT TRU METAL DOES TRU METAL DOESNT NEED AN ARMY OF WHINY POSERS! TRU METAL NEEDS FRUD DERST

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • M Shadows!

            YOU CANT EVEN SPELL YOUR LAST NAME CORRECTLY SAMANTHA

          • ┼yree

            I want your farts on my farts.

          • M Shadows!

            I must apologize. I have exhausted all my stupid for this thread. Fred is still going strong though because he has a larger quantity of stupid than me.

          • ┼yree
          • FRED DURST

            THAT LAST POST IS ALL FRUD DERST HAS LEFT TO BE QUITE HONEST! FRUD DERST IS RUNNING OUT OF STEAM

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • Maik Beninton™

            Good fight gents.

          • Abe-y Metal

            It’s like watching the fencing part of the Special Olympics.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Almost, but not quite, as good as interdimensional cable.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED
          • KJM, Shake Zula

            “This might be the best day of my life.”

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            “You guys clearly backed the wrong conceptual horse”

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            All The Farts

          • FRED DURST

            LEAST FRUD DERST USES FRUD DERSTS TRU NAME AND NOT SOME POSER EDGY MADE UP FUKKIN BULLSHIT! FRUD DERST DOESNT NEED A STAGE NAME TO SHOW THE WORLD HOW MUCH OF A TRU FUKKIN METAL GOD FRUD DERST IS! MAYBE IF YOU DIDNT WEAR ALL THAT MASCARA YOUD BE ABLE TO TELL! SHAVE UR FUKKIN HEAD DUDE THAT MOHAWK LOOKS GROSS BRUH!

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

        • M Shadows!

          YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER IM TELLING PAPA H! YOU’RE IN TROUBLE NOW! BET YOUR GONNA REGRET USING THAT POTTY MOUTH OF YOURS. PROBABLY SAY THAT YOU DID IT ALL FOR THE NOOKIE, BUT GUESS WHAT BITCH I ATE ALL THE COOKIES!

          • FRED DURST

            YOU SON OF A FUKKIN BITCH THOSE FUKKIN COOKIES WERE FOR FRUD DERSTS MOM! FRUD DERST DOES IT FOR THE NOOKIE AND FOR TRU METAL EVERY DAY OF FRUD DERSTS LIFE! NOW FRUD DERST HAS TO COAL ROLL FRUD DERSTS WAY TO WAL MART TO BUY FRUD DERSTS MOM SOME NEW FUKKIN COOKIES! FRUD DERST SWEARS TO GOD BRUH YOU BETTER BE AT FUKKIN BDUBS WHEN FRUD DERST GETS BACK BECAUSE FRUD DERST IS GONNA SHOW YOU WHAT DOIN IT FOR THE NOOKIE REALLY MEANS

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • M Shadows!

            HAHAHAHA YOU RETARDED MOLDY LOOFAH YOUR MOM DOESNT NEED ANY OF THOSE COOKIES. SHE GOT PLENTY OF THAT SHADOWS SAUSAGE LAST NIGHT NAWMSAYIN YOU WOULDNT KNOW TRUE METAL IF IT CAME AND FUCKED YOU IN THE ASS HARDER THAN DONALD TRUMP NORMALLY DOES! WAL MART IS FOR POOR LOSERS! OH THATS RIGHT YOU ARE A POOR LOSER BECAUSE YOU MAKE SHIT MUSIC AND DONT POSSESS TONS OF ANGSTY TEENAGE FANS TO WASTE MONEY ON YOUR SHIT MUSIC. STRAIGHT UP POSER FACE! BLINK 182 IS BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          • ┼yree

            Man, what a shit thread and this is coming from a shit commenter. You both suck, and so do I. May you all have the worst case of diarrhea pants. Die.

          • M Shadows!

            SUCK IS LIFE, I EMBRACE THE ETERNAL VOID OF EXISTENCE

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            This is a beautiful mess of a thread.

          • ┼yree
          • it’s all fvcking heresy

            Oh god what have I done. I’m sorry for all this.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            It is.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            “It’s not different at all!! Is it, Steve?! BWAHAHAHA!!”

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Best thread ever.

          • FRED DURST

            OH YOU’VE CROSSED THE LINE NOW BRUH! FRUD DERSTS MOM IS A SACRED TEMPLE AND FOR YOU TO DEFILE IT WITH YOUR VILE SAUSAGE IS A CRIME OF THE HIGHEST POSERDOM! FRUD DERST IS NOT AFRAID OF A BUNCH OF WHINY TEENAGE POSERS WHO CALL THEMSELVES TRU METAL FANS ANYONE KNOWS THAT TO BE A FAN OF TRU METAL YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO FRUD DERST AND PRE ORDER FRUD DERSTS NEW ALBUM!

            FUKKIN BREAK STUFF

            FRUD “NOT A POSER” DERST

          • DoYouThinkHeSaurus

            STAHP!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Durst plz

          • DoYouThinkHeSaurus
          • Abe-y Metal
          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            He looks like a character from American Dad

          • Abe-y Metal

            I think he’s unhinging his jaw and about to eat Eddie Vedder.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            It’s like Diana from the TV show “V”.

          • Abe-y Metal
          • KJM, Shake Zula

            The yard sale episode is classic TV.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            I got some Colombian Gold today

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Wow, Golds are pretty rare.
            In keeping with the trend,I’m smoking something called ‘Skywalker OG’.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            I dont care much to see it, personally, until i can see it at home.

            Im of course a star trek guy

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            It was good.
            I also enjoy Star Trek quite a bit. Which series is your favorite?

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            As If there can be any other than TNG

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            There is another. A superior other. An other known as DS9.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Out of the hall, bro

          • Boss the Albatross Ross
          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Because Q thought Picard was his intellectual equal and human counterpart.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Q thought Picard was a pansy that he could bully. Sisko ain’t nothin to fuck wit.

            Haha, just messing with you man, both are phenomenal characters and excellent series in their own right. I like giving TNG fans shit though and throwing people off when i say DS9 is my favorite.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Sisko had other omnipotent beings interested in him. Besides, Q was only there because of Vash.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Sisko definitely had some crazy shit going on without Q jumping in. It’s still one of my favorite moments in Star Trek history.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Q was essentially a bored God. He actually thought people were really interesting. That’s why they came across him so often. After a while, the wormhole beings may not have taken too kindly to Q puttering about in their neighborhood so much.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Most definitely. Q is a very deep character, and one of my favorites. I think they really only included him in DS9 because of the popularity of the character, he would’ve got in the way of DS9’s main story, as you mentioned.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Well, that’s pretty much why Worf got shoehorned into the show. He was popular and TNG was over.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Q also made it into Voyager though.

            I enjoyed the way they wrote Worf in, his character building and his relationship with Jadzia quite a bit.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Jeri Ryan was put on Voyager specifically to boost sagging ratings

          • Boss the Albatross Ross
          • KJM, Shake Zula

            You know it.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Nah, both are great, but TNG is better. Of course, nothing tops the original.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross
          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Spock is the ultimate TV sci-fi icon for numerous reasons. Robert Anton Wilson explained it better than me in his book “Cosmic Trigger”.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I can get behind that.

            I have read about that book, but never read it. I’ll have to look into it some more.

            In the meantime, check this band out.
            https://thecosmictrigger.bandcamp.com/album/the-new-order-of-the-cosmos

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            From the song titles, I’ll guess at least one band member’s read it too.

          • Óðinn
          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Kirk’s cool. He just has a different style. I bet Picard would clean him out at Poker though.

          • Óðinn

            I prefer Picard over Kirk. That being said, I pretty much like all things Star Trek. My favorites are TNG, DS9, and VOY. I watched ENT even though I didn’t think it was up to par. DS9 is underrrated in my opinion. It was especilly good after Worf joined the show.

            http://www.startrek.com/article/new-star-trek-series-premieres-january-2017

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Didn’t care too much for Voyager although I mostly stuck with it. I hated Enterprise. Having Scott Backula didn’t help either. I fucking hated Quantum Leap.

          • Óðinn

            Never watched Quantum Leap. I just assumed that it would suck. You’re right about Bakula. I don’t know what they were thinking. Not Captain material. Annoying actor.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Only seen it a couple of times by choice.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’d say Picard definitely has a better Poker face than Kirk, maybe not Sisko though. Sisko is pretty good at hiding his emotions when he has to.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Sisko is a he? That’s fucking weird.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Janeway is the only “Captain” that isn’t.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            But Sisko is a woman’s name and means sister!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Tell the writers of DS9 that. However, Finnish is a more imaginary language than Klingonese so i don’t think you’ll get far.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Haha! Captain in quotes. I see what you did there.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I think Sisko would clean the rest of them out in a game of poker. And baseball.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Baseball yes, that’s Sisko’s game, but Poker? Both Kirk and Picard demonstrated their fondness for the game during their tenures. I even think Riker would give Sisko a run for his money at the Poker table.

            Odo as an umpire is the best thing ever.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I’m mainly commenting on his poker face. He could be holding uno cards and win.

            Yes it is. That’s one of my favorite episodes.

            “Scotch”

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            I thought Enterprise was good in its own right, though the ending sucked a big one.

          • Óðinn
          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Shaka, when the walls fell.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I saw the original SW when I was 10 in 1977. I have a fondness, was a Trek fan long before than even.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            The ex mentioned earlier was a huge Star Wars fan, hated Trek in all forms though.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Hated the Trek!?!?!?

            By the way, sorry to hear about all that earlier, that’s tough to go through.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Feh, thanks. Things may change in this situation. Or not.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Star Wars was fun and silliness, Trek had too much “technobabble”. That’s how she put it.

          • Boss the Albatross Ross

            Ah, okay, that makes sense.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            She also liked LOTR and Harry Potter so it wasn’t an anti-geek thing.

          • Abe-y Metal

            “He can’t be straight, he’s in Depeche Mode!”

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            “I saw it on the VH1.”

          • Abe-y Metal

            Dr. O: “I’m a necromancer! Do you even know what that is?!?!”
            Brock: “A guy who has sex with dead people?”
            Dr. O: “A necromancer, not a necrophile!”

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Yeah, but then Henchman 21 and Orpheus have this conversation.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fuflOji-Vc

          • Abe-y Metal
          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Mecha Shiva
            Mecha Shiva
            Mecha Shiva

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            The amount of drugs required to alter your appearance that drastically boggles the mind.

          • M Shadows!

            I REST MY CASE

          • more beer

            Did you two go t the David Draiman school of typing?

        • more beer

          You are banned from Ukraine! Hahahahaha! Who gets banned from there? Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://www.metalinjection.net/shocking-revelations/limp-bizkits-fred-durst-reportedly-banned-in-ukraine

    • Maik Beninton™

      He manages to look even worse.

    • Abe-y Metal

      More like auditioning for Black Veil Brides, which is even worse.

    • Salvador Dalí Lama

      Janes’ Adickhead

  • Waynecro

    Thanks for all the hilarious posts in 2015, 365 Days of Horror! I’m looking forward to a rib-tickling 2016.

  • Spear

    “Worst video of the year”

    Counterpoint: Shivers Addiction https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKiRrjhoOnk

    • dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike dislike

      • Spear

        I feel like there’s something you’re trying to say with this post, but I just can’t put my finger on it.

        • Oh I just realized that I really dislike this video is all, there are other videos that i dislike but not as much as i dislike this video i mean i have an extreme amount of dislike for this video almost as much as i dislike the cleveland cavaliers but actually i dont dislike them as much as i dislike this video because honestly if i said that i dislike the cavs more than i dislike this video that would be lying about which video i dislike more when it is clear this is the video about which i would say that i dislike this video

          • Waynecro

            Waynecro rolled over in his grave with enough force to generate seismic activity.

          • I’m having entirely too much fun with this for some reason

          • Spear

            It’s probably the cocaine

          • is there cocaine in mountain dew? That would explain so many things…….

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            If you drink enough of it, it might as well be.

          • more beer

            My guess is Meth.

          • Abe-y Metal

            How anyone can drink MD is beyond me. Even when I did drink soda, it always tasted like metallic syrup. Now Surge on the other hand, now that it’s back, might get me to break my ‘no soda’ thing…..

          • more beer

            I can’t stand that shit. I never drink it ever.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’ve been told Surge tastes like Barium enema solution. Diet Dew is the only soda I can stand because I’m addicted to it.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Like the old impotence urban legend about MD.

          • Waynecro

            It really is quite funny for some reason. You’d be surprised how often I have to fix this kind of sentence.

          • I’m not sure I want to know……..how often?

          • Waynecro

            Five or six times a week. In peer-reviewed documents. It’s terribly depressing.

          • should just make them re write the whole thing every single time. That will teach them proper grammar real fast.

          • Waynecro

            I wish I were allowed to do that. Management says I have to fix that stuff myself. Plus, I’m not allowed to kick offending analysts down the stairs. Bullshit.

          • Fucking management. They just don’t understand the struggle.

          • Waynecro

            Or grammar in general.

          • more beer

            Kick em down the stairs when management is’t looking!

          • Waynecro

            Sneak a kick is always an option.

          • more beer

            And a good one at that!

          • Waynecro

            Indeed!

          • Abe-y Metal

            Pretty sure they don’t have policies against strategically placed banana peels *wink wink*

          • Waynecro

            That’s very true. And there may be animal testing in some of the labs on campus, so it wouldn’t be that unusual for a stray banana to end up in a stairwell.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Or you can always say some animal liberation nutcase left it there trying to lure a monkey to it’s freedom.

          • Waynecro

            That’s the fucking ticket right there.

        • Abe-y Metal

          He’s secretly hiding his undying love for Mrock is what he’s saying. The more he fights it, the more the passion burns.

    • I stand by my decision.

      • Spear

        I’d say they’re equally bad.

    • Dubs

      The hell kind of name is Shivers Addiction.

  • Maik Beninton™

    This guy screams midlife crisis.

  • Dagon

    Ho.ly.shit.

    Words elude me.

    Thank you, I guess. I’ll take it as a Christmas gift.

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Motograter had the worst video. I hate the new song they did.

    • Abe-y Metal

      I forget the band’s name………….. Amerikan some shit or other…….. but that one was way way wayyyyyyyyyyyy worse. This is a stinker, but that one stank like an NFL locker room after an hour of angry seagulls puking and shitting in it.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Amerikan Overdose?

        • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

          JJDs fourth or fifth favorite band

          • Abe-y Metal

            Couldn’t be. They formed after 1967.

          • more beer

            No he is good right up to about 1979.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’ve never listened to Amerikan Overdose.

        • Abe-y Metal

          Yep, that’s the one. *cringes*

  • Guppusmaximus

    The lead guitar work is actually pretty tasty but I’ve already had my midlife crisis, so, I’m not qualified to say what’s good anymore, lol. Overall it ain’t horrible, what little is good about it though gets ruined by his dancing and voice.

  • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

    Lolololool

  • Abe-y Metal

    Is it me, or is this song a note for note ripoff of The Cult’s ‘Sweet Soul Sister’?!?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqcAidqgqmU

  • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

    Im so fuckin amped for new Ihsahn next year, already

  • Abe-y Metal

    I saw this one the other day. A stinker for sure, and god fucking awful, but it gets a pass because boobies. Yes, it’s another two tone symphonic metal band with a hot chick doing her best to get everyone to forget that fact.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIedr_9_9hA

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      Unless I actually get to touch and/or squeeze said boobies, I will not subject myself to this, thanks. Symphonic Metal is yuck.

      • Abe-y Metal

        That’s why there’s a mute button.
        There’s decent symphonic metal out there, but it’s rare indeed.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          Fortunately there’s a lot of great bands I like with musicians that are very easy on the eyes.. Even many of the mediocre Doom or Stoner bands have hot singers or guitar players.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Fuck if I’ve seen any hot chicks in doom or stoner bands. 99% of band photos I’ve seen from those are guys who either look like lumberjack versions of Zakk Wylde or look like the cover of Aqualung.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED
          • Abe-y Metal

            It’d be nice if you could actually see her face. Is that Bjork?

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            If bjork was hot af

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Uta Plotkin, anyone?

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Brittany Fugate

          • Abe-y Metal

            Bjork’s definitely hot!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Yeah, if you’re into pixies.

          • Abe-y Metal

            But, of course! I’m guessing you think Ruby Rose and Natalie Portman (who both have the pixie look) are hideous?

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I don’t think they’re hideous, but I can honestly say my previous girlfriend was far more physically attractive than either of them.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED
          • Abe-y Metal

            That’s what they all say! 😉

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Here you are. Then again, I could be anybody posting this link about anyone. All you have is my word that this is my ex, who I still consider a very good friend that i haven’t seen in about 3 years despite being friends/lovers for decades. Now excuse me while I mainline about 300 kgs of China White to kill the “pain”. Thanks.

            http://www.photosbysherman.com/galleries/Women/Gretchen/

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Thats always a shame. Pass me a line pls

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            We used to get high all the fucking time and watch ridiculous shit. She’d give me some of her vicodin if she had any. Big Boy, the Maine Coon kitty, would sleep on my bike bag. Those were the days.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            I have a Maine Coon Kitty! The rel kind!

          • maine coons >>>>>>>>

          • Abe-y Metal

            Damn, that sucks! Who knows, with social media, old friends sometimes tend to come back to the fold.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Oh no, she’s a technophobe. That doesn’t matter though. She’s only 7 miles thataway(points northwesterly), but she’s essentially a galaxy away. I ended it because, well, she’s insane. All other info on this matter is classified.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED
          • Abe-y Metal

            Lol, I remember this!

          • more beer

            For a Chipmunk!.

          • Abe-y Metal
          • more beer

            She has that chipmunk face. No amount of her posing with little clothes is gonna change that.

          • Abe-y Metal

            We’ll agree to disagree!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Thank you.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            😉

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Umm, Rosalie Cunningham? Alia O’Brien? Johanna Sadonis? To name but a few?

          • Abe-y Metal

            Who, who, who? Photo evidence or no dice, considering I have zero idea who they are.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            If you have zero idea who they are, how can you make the claim that Doom/Stoner bands have no hotties in them, hmm?

          • Abe-y Metal

            Reread my statement there, stud. I said I haven’t seen any, not that there are none.

            “Fuck if I’ve seen any hot chicks in doom or stoner bands.”

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Well then, scroll up and RFI. I’m sure you’ll claim she’s ugly anyway but oh well.

          • Abe-y Metal

            What’s RFI?

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Refresh For Image

      • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

        It has to be paired with something else in the musical spectrum for it to be good

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          Alia O’Brien looks like every woman that i’ve been way too skeered to say hello to at a Metal gig.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            *buys her a bloody mary

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Even though she’s never there, her private Twitter account(i.e. friends not band) follows me so at least she knows I exist, sort of.

          • Abe-y Metal

            *buys her bloody tampons off of her*

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            *buys her a Ferrari

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            You sure got a lot to learn, man

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I do. I met a girl and we’ve been talking every day since last week. I don’t know what to do next.

          • Abe-y Metal

            Meet up with her. In a place with A LOT of potential witnesses in case shit goes down. Online dates can often end up as local headlines and Fark articles.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Perhaps dont talk to her EVERY day

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            We have good conversations though.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Unless she’s a friend, a good trick is to leave them wanting more.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            So far I’d prefer she be a friend. She’s not looking for romance because her boyfriend cheated on her with 5 women.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Ouch. That’ll kill your ability to trust for sure. Friends can be “beneficial” sometimes though.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            -tips hat-

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Don’t worry. KJU will be more than happy to show him the gentlemanly arts.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Thats a troubling idea. Thats coming from someone who jokes about kidnapping women

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’m dying from laughter at the prospect.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED
          • Abe-y Metal

            Let’s not bust his balls too bad, because we’ve all been in that exact same place in life at some time or other, and something just clicks. It’s a rite of passage for most.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Oh, I love the guy. I wasn’t exactly Casanova when I was his age either.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            We only bust the balls of the ones we love

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Exactly.

          • more beer

            Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is not how it is done.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            We’ve been trying to tell him…

          • more beer

            I don’t know why it is so hard for him. At his age getting laid should be no problem. Like shooting fish in a barrel. I think he needs some vices.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Nah. Some people his age take a while to get it. Environment has a lot to do with it too.

          • more beer

            He is in an area with a lot of women. It should be no problem. I grew up not that far away from there, I know, as long as he can talk and isn’t deformed. (he has posted his picture). It really shouldn’t be too hard.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I did meet someone who I’ve been talking to but we haven’t had time to meet in person yet.

          • more beer

            When you actually meet someone in person. Not online . It tends to works better. People tend to misrepresent themselves online. You work in a mall. I’m sure there are plenty of girls there your age. Chances are all you have to do is talk too them. One of them will end up liking you.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’ve been talking to this person each day for over a week. Shes a year older than me and she likes Elder Scrolls. She doesn’t like the same music though except for Earth Wind and Fire.

          • more beer

            Of course she doesn’t like the same music as you. You listen to your fathers music

          • Abe-y Metal

            AOL back in 2000 was good for finding a lay locally. Past 2002, I’d be afraid to tread that mine field ever again.

          • more beer

            I listen to friends bitch that all the chicks they meet online are crazy. If you go out and actually meet someone it is much easier to determine their mental illnesses.

          • Abe-y Metal
          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            GAH

          • more beer

            This is why I am old school and like to meet in real life situations.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            My retinas!

          • more beer

            No one needed to see that.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I would never go on a date with someone sight unseen. I want to know what I’m getting into and vice versa.

          • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

            Meh, i would. But im crrraaaaazzzzyyyy

          • more beer

            Exactly. Even talking to someone on line is no substitute for actually seeing them in real life. I wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it. Why would I date someone I’ve never seen or actually spoken to.

          • Abe-y Metal

            He needs a Stiffler (from American Pie), or Jim from ‘Legit’ in his life, STAT!!!!!! A big brother figure, more or less.

          • Abe-y Metal

            *buys her a bottle of Thunderbird and a reserve table for two at Long John Silver’s*

          • Abe-y Metal

            Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice! I’d certainly let her fart on my chest!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Classy.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’d date her. She’s very pretty.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            That’s not the kind of woman you “date”, my Padawan apprentice. Someone like her is several orders of magnitude above the need for dating, even without the musical ability and relative fame. In this case, something either happens or it doesn’t.

      • more beer

        Agreed.

        • Abe-y Metal

          That’s why you hit the mute button!

    • Óðinn
  • more beer

    That really was the worst one ever!

    • Abe-y Metal

      I dunno, 365’s pulled up some stinkers up. 90% of which our brains automatically shut behind traumatic defense mechanisms.

  • Eliza

    I’ll have this shit stuck in my head for a week now. Seriously, me filming myself playing guitar with my phone would end up being a better music video than this. Fortunately, it falls under the “so bad it’s good” category, so I can rewatch it to feel the lolz again.

    • BLACKBEARD UNFILTERED

      If you can watch this more than once, you must be @jimmymcnulty

  • 365ChaosRiddenDays

    This expulsion, this time is not contrived and is voluntary:

  • 365ChaosRiddenDays