MPLS Rulz Ur Buttz /// Falcon Arrow, Pestifere, Hardcore Crayons

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A handful of killer Minneapolis bands have released new material recently and this is a simple reminder that my city is better than yours and I would like to fight about it.


 Falcon Arrow

Immediately after seeing Falcon Arrow make a wondrous and sparkling wall of sound with nothing but drums, bass guitar, and a small ocean of fuzz/ loop pedals, I typically am left wondering why anyone even bothers with other instruments or voices at all. Listen for the bass to play a melody, then loop that melody at double or quadruple speed to create glittery arpeggios that stack higher and higher until they form a starry monolith of booty-shaking tunes. Listen for the drums finding innovation in the mundane, alternating hi-hat voicing to create subliminal swing and layering hypnotic rhythms more like a DJ than a rocker.

Falcon Arrow have found a lovely balance for themselves in between common aesthetics in the instrumental world; they’re not too somber, but not too saccharine either. With Tower, Falcon Arrow hits a sweet spot between lush post rock and peppy math rock that makes me want to cha-cha my way through the solar system. Join me, won’t you?

 


Pestifere


I arrived to the Liminal release show on a balmy November night hot on the tails of heartbreak; I was struggling with irrational anger and a sense of intense loneliness. Mercifully, by the end of Pestifere’s performance these emotions had been condensed into an electric fury and expunged from my body into the cosmos, all thanks to the mighty wailings of Minnesota’s finest new black metal band.

I screamed into The Void, my friends, and The Void screamed back.

Pestifere play truly melodic black metal with exactly the right amount of frills. Harmonized tremolo melodies are of course the foundation of the record, but delicately technical guitar licks, acoustic breaks, and thrashing d-beats keep Liminal beautifully paced and fresh-sounding throughout its relatively brief running length. If you desire to go on a metal-guided arctic spirit journey to purge some inner demons but can only commit a half hour to doing it, this is the record for you.


Hardcore Crayons

This is not the first time I have geeked out to the blogosphere public about the best progressive dub-rock band in existence, nor will it be the last. Hardcore Crayons’ new record Zozzled is their noisiest, heaviest release to date, and also their most consistent.

While their previous album was formed around the push and pull between the disparate influences of angular Don Caballero riffs and funky dub grooves, this new joint refuses to make a distinction between the two worlds. Dissonant guitar chords may furrow your brow, but that powerful snare drum insists you stomp your feet as well. Ass-shaking fretless bass funk encroaches upon the whacked-out space vocals and washy hi-hats demanding that you bang your head. Watch music video of the year “WGYW” (above) to get a feel for what I’m talking about, then get to their Bandcamp to buy some shit ASAP.

(Photo VIA)

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    This whole void shit has gotten stupid. Luster lost.

    • Oh good I thought it was just me.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Well, it’s my fault anyway. I had no fucking clue it would catch on. Oh well. If cunting catches on more that will just really bum me out.

        • GL

          you can now add trendsetter to your resume!

          GL

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            *Sigh*

        • “and now, because white people say ‘hizzle fo shizzle,’ we have to say ‘flippity floppity floop.'”

        • VV.

          I actually made a comment to Joe last week about how over it I am.

          • HEY EVERYONE, W DID THINGS BEFORE US!!!

          • VV.

            That’s right. Now come kiss my ring.

          • Death

            I never started doing it
            #hipster

          • I’ve been on a positivity kick the last few years. Not sure I want anything to do with with voids n’ stuffs.

          • Get outta here with your fuckin’ happiness and positivity hippy libtard bullshit, Joe Tokeand/orpill.

          • GL

            Personally, I never been more accepting of the void.

            #stayvoid

            GL

          • Paris Hilton

            I was never really on the void train. I listen to too much posi pop-punk to be gettin into never ending voids of darkness. The only empty void I wanna be seeing is dat pussy.

          • I haven’t listened to much pop punk in the last decad-holy shit I am getting old. Anything you wanna recommend?

          • Paris Hilton

            I’ve been rocking a lot of Summer Set lately… Voidwellers need not apply. This song has gotten me laid from pop-punk 7/10 QTs on more than one occasion. #feelsgoodman
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmazB8Hsuio

          • Perfect soundtrack to piss on the Void

          • Paris Hilton

            This song also acts as really good miserable Trve nerd repellent.

          • The Satan Ov Hell

            I can confirm, when I was an asshole who listened only to black metal, the mere mention of pop-punk made me sneer and fling cheeto dust everywhere. I mean, I still prefer ska-core and folk punk, but still I can tolerate anything that isn’t green-day/blink 182

          • Paris Hilton

            Fuck Green Day. The singer is the biggest wiener ever and is infamous for throwing on-stage hissy fits lmfao

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            The Toasters are great ska. Same goes for The English Beat and that band Mephiskapheles.

          • Paris Hilton

            Black-metallers are also mad jelly that none of their drummers look like this

            http://images.cdn.bigcartel.com/bigcartel/product_images/129888999/max_h-1000+max_w-1000/MK3_9880_web.jpg

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            She is attractive but not at the level of the girl from We Are The In Crowd who come from my town.

          • Paris Hilton

            “The We Are The In Crowd girl’s elbows are too pointy 2/10 wood not bang.” -Some metalhead probably

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I could see that being the case. I would disagree with that person though.

          • Paris Hilton

            I thorougly disagree too. If Jess or Tay are reading this hmu bbs <3

          • The Satan Ov Hell
          • *sigh* I don’t think I can do it. I wanna punch the singer’s voice in the throat. Sorry pop-punk lay-deez.

          • I didn’t liked the voice either, but it’s good for the lolz

          • Paris Hilton

            Music enthusiants call that “an acquired taste.”

          • Paris Hilton

            Hmm. Maybe Seaway is more to your speed. I’ve been spinning them quite a bit lately.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9KjZ8-58ek

          • I can work with this. The voice is a massive improvement

          • Paris Hilton

            Pop-punk is up there with metal for genres where the vocalists can be REALLY hit or miss haha

          • Paris Hilton

            I wonder if there’s any TOHers that would be down to collaborate on a pop-punk post…

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I’d love to. Besides being a giant nu metal lover I love me some mid 2000’s pop punk. Advice: The new record by The Madden Brothers is amazing.

          • Paris Hilton

            I’m giving it a spin. I like what I hear!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I love them. They are the two guys from Good Charlotte and they know how to make a good album as Good Morning Revival and The Young And The Hopeless show.

          • I was really dug pop punk but again, that was more than 10 years ago so I’m not sure I could say anything super relevant. We could ask around.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            I definitely could because I know a lot about the current stuff. I blame my sister for being obsessed with it unhealthily.

          • HessianHunter

            Flashlight Brown were forgotten in the sands of time, they ruled.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ti1TKCK_Pw

            Motion City Soundtrack’s early records are perfect.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QBOJZolP6o

            Children 18:3 are the best family band since… ever? Basically just the first record though.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMJDbvecGhA

          • Good songs there, lil’pumpkin! 😀

          • Paris Hilton

            Flashlight Brown does fucking rule! It’s really too bad how little known they are.

          • did you say Fleshlight Brown? i mean… i just thought you… nevermind… okbye

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            There is so much to recommend. One of my favorites is Taking Back Sunday, followed by All Time Low, Hawthorne Heights, Good Charlotte, Thursday and Saosin.

          • oh god. it’s college all over again. my fucking roommates listened to all that shit, meanwhile i was trying to listen to metal.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Don’t say Hawthorne Heights is shit. I have one rule and that is never ever trash talk Hawthorne Heights. One of my prized posessions is a signed copy of their CD from last year.

          • Lacertilian

            You burned the house down one night screaming obscenities right?

          • I think all of those bands (aside from maybe ATL) were at their most active 10+ years ago.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

            Taking Back Sunday had a new album out this year that ruled. All Time Low has a new one out next year and Real Friends, The Story So Far, Handguns and Man Overboard are current and awesome

          • CyberneticOrganism
          • Paris Hilton

            Dat A$$

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Lifelover.

        • The Satan Ov Hell

          Ov really caught on.

        • HessianHunter

          I JUST WANTED U GUISE TO THIKN I WUZ COOL< OK????

          • HessianHunter

            I’m very young and impressionable

          • Death

            We know you’re cool, we can see that pumpkin suit.

    • Everything is corruptible.

    • HessianHunter

      whoops
      :’-(

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        It’s ok, you’re but a mere pawn in the game.

    • GL

      Disagree.

      GL

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        You would.

        • GL

          You would say “You would”.

          GL

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            I did, you would, indeed.

      • BLVCKBEVRD OV THE 3RD KINDBUD

        GL Disagrees

        #GLFacts

    • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

      The Void won’t get old. The Void does not age. The Void is eternal.

    • Hubert, Goat ov Doom (and Void

      It will probably go away in a month or so. If my readings are correct, people here will move on quickly from inside joke to inside joke. In three years we will have our own language.

      • Death

        I still don’t understand 90% of the inside jokes.

        • HessianHunter

          ——trailer pants jokes—–>

          my head

          • GL

            in your defense, all things go over your head. you are a small child in a pumpkin suit!

            GL

          • HessianHunter

            I will fuck you up. I will end you. I will bite off your scrotum and choke you with it. DO NOT FUCK WITH BABBY IN PUPKIN COSTUM THIS SHIT IZ ITCHY AN I’M VEWY KRANKYY RN

          • still are gym pants with weird patterns to my eyes

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        In three years I’ll be dead anyway.

      • KJM

        The “sad sticker of void” will never get old.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      NEVER

  • HessianHunter

    YEAH 2 POSTS IN ONE DAY “HI EVERYONE I’M JOE MASH N’ TRILL OVAH HEAH”

  • Death

    I dig Hardcore Crayons. Thank you, pumpkin baby.

    • JINX U OWE ME A COKE

      • Death

        waht!?

    • Seeing this comment before reading the article because mobile is stupid and really confused. Are we coloring now?

  • I am digging on Hardcore Crayons, bruh.

    • +1

    • HessianHunter

      I think they’re the best rock-oriented band in Minneapolis, and y’all know how much I love and am obnoxious about my local scene. That is not to be taken lightly.

    • BLVCKBEVRD OV THE 3RD KINDBUD

      Me too, Joe. And this video is pretty funny.

  • Tom Waits For Nordling Rites

    Yep, definitely beyter than my city, which has, like, 5 bands that are not just on demo stage.
    Also digging Hardcore Crayons and Falcon Arrow.

    • Tom Waits For Nordling Rites

      Sorry 4 bands, one announced a final gig in February.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    ….still trying to figure out what is happening in the Falcon Arrow cover… is that a four legged Master Chief?

  • George Clarke

    this is beautiful

  • Paris Hilton

    The plant creature on the Falcon Arrow cover isn’t as tough as it looks. All you have to do is go into morph ball and lay out a bomb in one of it’s 4 ports to shock its shield down. It will then lower its head, in morph ball mode climb into its mouth and plant another bomb. Once you have done this 4 times it will die. It gives you the Varia Suit, allowing you to handle rougher terrain and more extreme temperatures. It will also give you a shield boost and allow you to remain in corrosive materials for longer.

    • i love you.

      • GL

        this web of love we are spinning is dizzying

        GL

    • GL

      I was thinking about this today! for realz!

      gamecube for life! lol

      GL

      • Paris Hilton

        Despite selling out to Falcon Arrow its still one of my all time favorite bosses!

        • HessianHunter

          “selling out to Falcon Arrow” lol
          raking in the instrumental post-rock zillions

          • Paris Hilton

            I hate the instrumental post-rock fat cats. Sitting up in their corporate buildings, counting their stacks of cash, sucking on their fancy cigars!

          • “I gain money doing nothing”

    • well.. you can change your username to Samus Aran now 😀

      • Paris Hilton

        I cannot change my name now. I need to worry about brand awareness :/

    • VV.

      That’s the Flaaghra, Paris.

      • Paris Hilton

        You have to watch out for its acid spit… Shit will fuck you up son! It does however git u gud at side dashing. I’d rather take him on though than the wasps from MP2. Seriously, fuck those things with a coat hanger.

        • VV.

          MP2 had some obscenely hard bosses. Like the boost guardian, I think.

          • Paris Hilton

            FUCK THE BOOST GUARDIAN

  • TheCheezFace

    Enojoyed all three of them.

    • HessianHunter

      yey

  • BLVKKBEVRD DVRKWORK

    I forgot to mention earlier that Pestifere was pretty awesome. Though, I think that vein of music lends itself to production quality, and I could see a bigger/matured release from them being spectacular.

    • take the “e” off of the end and you’ve got a great death metal band from Belgium

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan’s Spooky To

    RIP Ian McLagan of The Small Faces and Bobby Keys of The Rolling Stones.

  • KJM

    My quick n dirty top 10 of 2014. Only the top pick is in order.

    1) Occultation – Silence In The Ancestral House
    2) Wo Fat – The Conjuring
    3) Electric Wizard – Time To Die
    4) Purple Hill Witch – Purple Hill Witch
    5) Sinoia Caves – ‘Beyond The Black Rainbow’ Soundtrack
    6) Triptykon – Melena Chasmata
    7) Orange Goblin – Back From The Abyss
    8) The Wounded Kings – Consolamentum
    9) Opeth – Pale Communion
    10) Throne – Where Tharsis Sleeps

  • Sponge Of Mystery

    You forgot FALSE bro!!!