Motograter – Portrait Of Decay: A Video Breakdown

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Motojustokayer.
You would be forgiven for not knowing Motograter. The band appeared almost out of nowhere on the 2003 Ozzfest and fell back into obscurity soon after. When gimmicks were a hip thing in metal, Motograter managed to have two: the band was covered in “tribal” paint (I’m not sure which tribe, but then again, I don’t think they knew either) and they used a homemade instrument made of industrial cable and guitar parts dubbed a “motograter”. They were a nu-metal band fronted by Ivan Moody, who some of you may know as the hobo clown from The Devil’s Carnival. Oh, and he’s also in the Bud Lite Lime of bands, Five Finger Death Punch. After one studio album, the band went through more changes more times than your underwear rotation.

Sweet Nu-Metal Jesus decked out in Kikwears and a tank top, look at this list of band members:

motogratermemberslist

There are more people that have been in Motograter than there are football players on the field during a play. AND THEY’VE ONLY PUT OUT ONE STUDIO ALBUM! Well, our long national crisis is over because Motograter have released a new music video. Let’s take a look.

0:03: Breaking news? Did someone find who ate the last cookie in the cookie jar?!
0:08: Ah, the unmistakable accent of Australiasiairescotmericanstan.
0:12: I really hope this guy didn’t think this was going to be his big break.
0:16: Dude, I love the American heavy metal band Mutta Grate Uh!
0:19: It must’ve taken them all of about 15 seconds to Photoshop their picture on the screen.
0:26: I still trust this news program over FOX News.
0:31: “Oh, and a flesh-eating virus is now airborne. More on that after this important music video.”
0:36: This one goes out to our moms and dads for giving us a ride to the venue tonight!
0:40: That transition from live to recording was seamless. SEAMLESS.
0:46: I hope you didn’t fill up on chugs before watching the video because this thing has plenty of them.
0:52: Don’t you just love when live videos don’t sync up with the song?
0:54: Weeeeee!
1:00: I’m getting a heavy “Psychosocial” by Slipknot-vibe from this song.
1:03: It’s nice to see pro wrestler Jeff Hardy still getting work.
1:11: One of the hazards of sharing the stage with Kottonmouth Kings.
1:20: A crowd shot is kind of pointless when you can’t, y’know, see the crowd.
1:25: And the rain will kill us all.
1:30: We throw ourselves against the wall.
1:33:But no one else can see.
1:36: The preservation of the martyr in me (Psychosocial, psychosocial)
1:39: Huuuuuugs!
1:46: Oldboy on the drums.
1:53: There are more flashing lights at a Motograter show than a New Orleans DUI checkpoint.
1:58: If you ever book Motograter, book them on the tiniest stage you can find.
2:06: No one, anywhere, ever has said “When I grow up, I want to be a professional motograter player.”
2:09: So not only does Motograter sound like Slipknot, but they also bang on kegs.
2:15: Stage show inspired by those Pokemon episodes that caused kids to have seizures.
2:20: They’re totally not getting the deposit back for those kegs now.
2:25: Hold the shot…hold it….hold it…
2:30: It’s not a pile on if you don’t actually pile on. This is more of a smush push.
2:35: That’s the look of a man who does not like to be touched.
2:41: I don’t care for these non-Brandon Lee Crow movies.
2:48: Now they’re not even trying to sync things up.
2:54: Fish-eye lens cures all.
3:04: How many horny jokes do you think that skull has to hear on a daily basis?
3:11: Someone didn’t get the “have long hair” memo.
3:16: Rob Zombie Jr.!
3:24: Thank you, Centralia! Goodnight!
3:27: 365 plz!
3:32: Hey, a solo. Good for them. Really, I mean that.
3:40: “Yeah, hun. Work was good. Hit some old kegs and trash cans. The usual.”
3:49: I wonder if he gives motograter lessons when the band isn’t on tour.
4:00: Mind the crowd gap.
4:09: Bllllaaarrrrgghhhh.
4:16: Hands up, baby hands up! Give me your heart, gimme gimme your heart gimme gimme….
4:24: Oh, don’t worry. We won’t forget that you’re Motograter.

This is usually where I mention the name of the new album, when it’s out, and who is putting that out. Well, I can’t find that information so the best I can do is link to their bandcamp page. That song can be yours for just $1. Your donation can help Motograter stay in crusty body paint for one more day.

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  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    God damn that wikipedia screenshot.

    • The kicker is that someone actually cared enough about the band to log and edit those band member changes. lolz

      • I would’ve just written “Fuck it, no one’s going to look at this shit anyway.”

        • more beer

          And you would be correct.

  • Tyree
    • Jajajaja, his balls are exploding.

    • DCLXVI

      just added this to my netflix watchlist today

    • I refuse to watch the PG-13 remake version of this because this level of violence will not be achieved.

      • counter-point: i loved it. not as violent but makes a lot of cool statements about politics/corporations/etc. fun on different levels.

        • I’m willing to wager that there were more bullets dispersed in the PG-13 version than the original yet it got that rating because not a drop of blood was spilled and they only said “fuck” once. I’m sure I’d enjoy based on your description of the content but I really despise reboot/remakes in most cases because it says that the braintrust in Hollywood cares little about trying anything new and would rather profit on past achievements.

        • Undead Karate Poopoo Samich

          If you’re willing to put down $150 on a house, you could live in Detroit and get to see the NC-17 version first hand.

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            can i get a 30 year balloon lease on the $150.00. Gonna be a house pimp and roll that shit over….carlton sheets like n shit……

          • Undead Karate Poopoo Samich

            Why not invest in Flint, MI?

          • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

            why not!!

          • Undead Karate Poopoo Samich

            Wouldn’t take much, considering that it has a smaller population than where I live.

      • Undead Karate Poopoo Samich

        In good news, Deadpool will officially be R-rated, as most comic book movies should be.

  • OMG, another band that sounds suddenly found how to downtune their guitars and how to play with a double pedal? 🙁

    365 plz!

  • Dubzlinger, Malandro

    Where’s Eddie Trunk, Jr. when we need him most?

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Give it time, doc.

    • Don Henley’s Ego

      I’m here. I was taking a nap.

  • Dubzlinger, Malandro

    Wow, this sounds EXACTLY like Slipknot.

    • Yeah, they ripped Psychosocial hard. I wonder if Justin Bieber syncs over this as well.

      • Undead Karate Poopoo Samich

        They’re back to claim their Biggest Slipknot Knockoff status from King 810. This could get ugly!

  • Motoknot – never heard of these guys, now I know why.

  • Mother Shabubu 4

    This guy’s cleans sound so squeaky for some reason.

    Also what does the motograter even sound like? I can’t even tell it apart from the other stuff.

    INB4 Kevin Nash & Friends goes “365 PLZ!”

    • Undead Karate Poopoo Samich

      I thought a motograter was something Grant Achatz uses in his kitchen.

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      i can hear it now…

  • ~3.5 minutes of local bar videos. Nice!

    GL

  • CyberneticOrganism

    I am so using “the Bud Light Lime of bands” in the upcoming FFDP album review.

    I L’d OL.

  • Mother Shabubu 4

    Also; why does every bassist in nu metal squat around the stage like a cavemen on the hunt lurking in the bush?

  • Tyree
    • god damn yes. i think Immolation is one of those bands that everyone likes, really.

      • more beer

        It doesn`t hurt that Ross and Rob are couple of the nicest guys you can ever meet.

        • i’ve met them too! and agree, so nice and humble.

          • more beer

            Yes they are very humble. If you ever get the chance to talk to them again. You should try and get Ross to talk about his contempt for god. It is interesting to say the least. I know I’ve had that conversation with him. I was pretty blown away. By the pure hatred from such a nice guy.

          • Tyree

            Wow, I really want to have this conversation with him over a beer.

          • more beer

            Even without a beer it’s an interesting conversation. I live in Colorado but I grew up in Yonkers. I’ve heard it quite a few times.

          • Guppusmaximus

            I’m not certain how anyone couldn’t have contempt for a concept that only causes turmoil.

          • more beer

            I agree. It is possibly the stupidest concept known to mankind.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Seriously, if you wrote a book that said you could do a bunch crazy supernatural bullshit, people would be calling you out on that shit everyday, asking for proof, etc… However, you ask any of these poor diluted individuals for proof of this “god” and it’s like you requested an interview with a member of the Official US Mental Gymnastics team.

          • more beer

            They would tell you that you`re coo coo for coco puffs. Then give a room with padded walls. The best part is they will tell you. You just have to have faith. Yea I have faith in myself. But not much else in this world. One thing I do like to tell them is. If Jesus existed he was a criminal who hung out with other criminals and whores. By Roman standards he was. It really tends to upset good brainwashed Christians.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Well, yea, because every society throughout history has been littered with socio / psychopaths who promise people all sorts of shit as long as they adhere to every order given. Yes, if Jesus actually physically existed then he was one. Why else would the Church not include certain gospels in the Bible never mind the New Testament being loaded with violence, misogyny, slavery and so on?

          • more beer

            If they taught things like that. They wouldn`t have absolute control over the weak minded. If they only teach the weak minded what they want them to know. They never question anything and fall right in line. With what they want. If they were to teach Jesus was an outlaw they would all want to be outlaws. Which in turn would cause people to question their teachings. When people question these things they lose their control over them.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      My favorite track by them.

  • JW(E)G

    On another note, I just found an email from Jon Davis (of Conan) about a new venture he’s set up with Renata Castagna of Samothrace.

    http://www.atlanteanmerch.bigcartel.com/

    Partial screen-capture, so I don’t have to retype it all (hope it’s not too small):
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/98a832979c491c935d9f74f73172d4b1b12b5a5e17ce5778cea4e2d65d379e66.jpg

  • Guppusmaximus

    They should change their name to RotorRooter because we’re gonna need some help to unclog the ToiletOvHell after flushing all their shit!

    *FLUSH, PLUNGE, FLUSH*
    Not working…

    • more beer

      They do not deserve a toilet. I`m thinking they should get pushed into a port a potty. No flush just sucked out by the nasty truck that cleans them out.

    • CyberneticOrganism
      • Guppusmaximus

        Oh man, I just got myself like the best plunger ever…
        http://www.korky.com/plungers/beehive-max-toilet-plunger

        Those “newer” Kohler toilets don’t have the round drain like the old ones do. So, I used to fight that thing with a standard plunger and get water all over the place. Man, this new plunger… you only have to push “halfway” and it gushes pressure (and water) down the drain. A couple of shots depending on the sitch and *VOILA!* I never got so excited about a plumbing accessory in my life…LMAO!!

        • CyberneticOrganism

          BEEHIVE Max Toilet Plunger | TOH Approved!

  • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

    Why is it that the drummer is always the only one with a semblance of (marginal) talent when it comes to numetal?

    • Maik Beninton™

      Because of the groove, I think.

    • possibly because the guitar playing demands no skill whatsoever

      • Can confirm. I was pretty stoked I could play Korn & Limp Bizkit tunes when I was 14.

        • Don Henley’s Ego

          I wish I could but I don’t have much guitar skill.

        • Undead Karate Poopoo Samich

          Not saying much. Limp Bizkit couldn’t even play a 2 chord Ministry song right. I looooooooooove Ministry, but even Skinny Puppy kicked Jourgenson off of the ‘Rabies’ CD for not being able to play more than 3 chords.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lW51PRPMi1E

          • CyberneticOrganism

            The late 90s were dark, dark times

        • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

          can u share the tabs bruh…or make a demo video?

  • Don Henley’s Ego

    I still have no clue why I gave this a chance. It’s not good.

    • Undead Karate Poopoo Samich

      The same reason we’d all watch a car wreck involving two clown cars.

  • Don Henley’s Ego

    Also 365 plz! Jeff Hardy has a different band than this!

  • ☑ Cringe-worthy lyrics

    ☑ Slipknot ripoff

    ☑ Token clean vocals

    ☐ Skill and/or originality

    • Mother Shabubu 4

      You mean you didn’t like the chorus where he sang “underneath the crashing waves” and all that shit?

  • Don Henley’s Ego

    I’ve found something worse than this. This band is doing a festival in my area called Souled Out. They’re a nu metal band that I’ve never heard of and they’re from New Jersey. I don’t know why they have to come here. They’re extremely obscure and it should stay that way. These guys are the Keystone Light of nu metal.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sVN4sAQx2E

    • Maik Beninton™

      You call that nu metal?

      • Undead Karate Poopoo Samich

        Nooooooooooooooooooo, the cholo epidemic has spread to the east coast (New Jersey)! Kill it before it gets to the women and children, and before it lays eggs!

      • Don Henley’s Ego

        Maik plz!

        • Maik Beninton™

          I wish I could embed a post about them that SYWH wrote, but that’s deleted. :/
          I think those guys are good for what they propose.
          They were very hated at their time.

          • Don Henley’s Ego

            The Sarge wrote about them?

          • Maik Beninton™

            It wasn’t Sarge, I don’t remember who wrote it.
            But they made a good post about them.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      What the fuck is even happening in that image

  • Undead Karate Poopoo Samich

    HAG, I vaguely remember this band!!!! (since I’m not wanting to put more money into Cyber’s G-h Jar, you know what the first word actually is)

    They went through the trouble to hire a British announcer? That just made me read the video breakdown with Jon Oliver’s voice.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      That announcer has the worst, weirdest accent ever.

      • Undead Karate Poopoo Samich

        Jon Oliver?!?!

        • CyberneticOrganism

          No, although I do respect that man for having the balls to chug a Bud Light Lime on tv.