Monday Night Open Swim: I Went to Fun Fun Fun Fest

1864
199
Share:

We haven’t done this in forever, you guys. Get in here and join the bullshitting.

How was your weekend? Mine was pretty excellent. I went out to Fun Fun Fun Fest where I saw King Diamond, Sick of it All, Gorilla Biscuits, Hot Water Music, Failure, Nas, (lifelover alert) Neutral Milk Hotel, and a few cringe-worthy moments of Gary Numan who fully reps a jet-black flatiron swoop haircut and Affliction tshirt. Regrettably, I missed JUDAS PRIEST and the Blood Brothers because my stupid band was playing a show across town at the same time.

After the fest, I checked out Power Trip throwing down a new lineup with THREE(!!!) guitars. If you don’t think that’s the tightest shit, you can get the fuck out of my face. Japanese punks Forward headlined the night and much circle pitting ensued. I also took a pic with this guy at the punk show. “George Clarke” I think was his name. Really nice fella.

Guess which one of us the sweaty nerd.

Guess which one of us is the sweaty nerd.

The floor is open so feel free to discuss whatever you like. In the meantime, TRY to imagine how sweet this was with three guitars killing it:

(Thanks to the Masterlord for my new avatar!)

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
  • Et tu, Joe-te?

  • IronLawnmower

    TRYING TO GET MY FUCKING BAND OFF THE GROUND IS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE

    • I’ve played in bands for more than 10 years now. Starting a band is a terrible use of your time.

      • IronLawnmower

        Theres 5 drummers in the entire country.

        • Death

          Have your parents breed you a little brother/sister and teach him/her how to play drums.

          • IronLawnmower

            I would but he hates metal with a passion. Also he wears a fedora and refers to girls as m’lady. He’s 12

          • Death

            Have your parents breed you a new, better one.

          • IronLawnmower

            If it helps he’s adopted.

          • Death

            If your parents aren’t down with the plan, you can always find a lady and make your own drummer with her.

          • IronLawnmower

            babydrummer. Not up for being a parent at 17 sadly.

          • Death

            Hmmmmm, that seems to be a problem. Maybe one of us would be ready to do it for you.

          • IronLawnmower

            Death go fuck someone hard and make me a babychild.

          • Death

            Not me, oh no. My genes are not the best. Your drummer could have severe allergies and a bad case of stupidity.

          • The Satan Ov Hell

            I’d recommend getting a drum machine in the mean time while you look for a drummer. It’s how I made the buzzsaw wind effect I use in all my music

          • Spear

            I’m sorry, but you may have to put him down.

          • IronLawnmower

            I’ve suggested that to my parents several times.

          • VV.

            There are humane ways of doing it.

          • listen Necrotism – Discanting the Insalobrious to get ideas!

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I don’t like how fedoras have become an object of ridicule, fedoras are rad.

          • Gurp

            Is he euphoric?

        • Cock ov Steele

          To find a master of the skins, it seems you must make a perilous journey across the vast gulf of the Irish sea.

          • IronLawnmower

            Fuck dat noise lol

          • Not to sound like a MetalSucks advertorial or nothing, but EZ Drummer really is pretty sweet if you’re just trying to figure out ideas.

          • IronLawnmower

            Already got that. It rules.

      • And they’ll make you miss Judas Priest.

      • Elite Extremöphile

        But damn it’s fun though

      • Max

        Finishing one is even more useless.

    • Spear

      I’m all too familiar with the feeling. We’re finally starting to pick up some momentum with an EP coming out, but I don’t know if it’ll last. And FUCK I hate contacting new venues. I feel like an asshole just sending unsolicited emails telling people to listen to my terrible music.

      • IronLawnmower

        I’m trying to get to the stage where I have a solid lineup.

        • Spear

          Current members flaky, or just trying to find someone to fill a spot?

          • IronLawnmower

            Current members flaky. Thankfully it seems we only need to get a good drummer and we’re sorted.

          • Spear

            Ah, and there’s your problem. Like you said, there’s only five drummers in the country.

          • My band has been struggling to find a dependable drummer for…4 or 5 years now? I think there are a grand total of about 10 metal drummers in Kansas, 9 of which are already in bands.

          • IronLawnmower

            It sucks.

          • My band has gone through four drummers in the last year. Drummers are uniformly fuck ups.

          • IronLawnmower

            What about bass players?

          • Bass players are weirdos but dependable weirdos.

          • (me)

          • Keegan Lavern Still

            +1

          • Nordling Rites ov Karhu

            I knew there was something special between us.

          • Death

            As a drummer, I am deeply offended. I will see you in the court.

          • Imaginary courts don’t count, Death!

            GL

          • one in an unfortunate gardening accident…

      • Cock ov Steele

        All my band does is songwriter and jam. Only problem is my singer and other guitarist don’s see eye to eye with me and the other guitarist and as a result he and I often have to write our own songs our own way.

      • can I listen some of your music, bro?

        • Spear

          Ehhh, if you must… Full EP will be up on Bandcamp sometime fairly soon.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1iofwMcTwA

          • sounds pretty good! i liked the FB page to stay in touch with the releases.. good guitars, btw! around min 3 is a great moment!!

          • Spear

            Thanks! I appreciate that. Rest assured that future releases will sound much better.

          • i got no prob with low-budget production.. i get used by it because the shitty productions in my country.. at least the composition is good!! 🙂

          • Give your bassist a high-fucking-five from me. American flag pants are absolutely great (refresh for image)!

            GL

          • Spear

            Haha, will do. (Though that’s actually our rhythm guitarist; the bassist is behind our singer)

            …God, that show was forever ago. We need some new live videos where we don’t suck.

          • Oh, I guess that is obvious. I was just so fuckin jacked about the pants I overlooked that fact. Nice!

            GL

          • The Satan Ov Hell

            Your singer has some great pipes. Makes me wish I didn’t ruin my vocal chords perfecting growl techniques.

    • you simply have to figure out a bunch of equations about gravity!
      (saw interstellar yesterday, and i don’t recommend it)

      • Meehoineyhoin666Riot

        Srs?

        • I’d give it a 2.5/5 flushes. the space & sci-fi stuff is pretty rocket, but the dialogue, continuity, and character decisions are pure cringe.
          it’s either the dumbest intelligent film i’ve seen, or the smartest stupid film i’ve seen.

          • Lacertilian

            So I should stick to my old faithful for viewing space?

  • George Clarke

    who’s that handsome guy up there?

    • George Lynch?

      GL

    • Tyree

      Joe Thrashnkill.

      • George Clarke

        woah parred off ouch

        • Herr Schmitty

          If it’s any consolation, I’da just said ‘That’s an 8 bit drawing, there’s no handsome man on this page.’

          Tyree is one of the most potent lobbyists in favor of encouraging the rest of us lifelovers to Embrace the Void, though. If he insults you, really it’s a compliment.

    • Pagliacci is Kl/rke

      <3

  • VV.

    What does Batman smell like IRL?

  • First of all, POWER TRIP GIF!

    http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/10-05-2014/j34fmo.gif

    SLAM!

    GL

  • I think I just literally terrified a person by blasting Cattle Decapitation. 10/10 would risk inducing heart attack in stranger again.

    • Xan

      I scared this shit out of the person getting into the car next to me when I left college today. I was blasting the new Hideous Divinity. That shit is intense.

      • I fucking love the bass in that band.

        • first time listening to Hideous Divinity and I encounter one random comment: “It’s like Nile, except good”

    • Keegan Lavern Still

      I’ve done the same with my Cattle hoodie several times at work. It’s probably not the best idea to wear clothes that depict people vomiting and ripping off their skin in a group home for the mentally ill, but I’m the main person who cleans the bathrooms on my shifts, so they have no right to complain.

    • Elite Extremöphile

      I got a sexy Exhumed shirt after seeing them on thursday, I love the looks I’m getting from my friends who didn’t know I listen to metal.

    • Howard Dean

      From my experience, the layperson reacting to the extreme metal blasting from one’s car/apartment/whatever is usually just startled and/or curious and befuddled. The average person finds extreme metal more ridiculous, odd, or hilarious than they do scary or intimidating. Most of the people who are terrified and/or have emotional reactions to extreme metal are fans. The average person thinks its ridiculous or childish.

      #DeanFacts

      • don’t rain on my parade 🙁

      • “Why are they screaming?”

        • Someone once called Archspire screamo. I really don’t remember if they are alive anymore as I went into a classic Bauer rage.

          • I had black friends from back home who used to say everything I listened to sounded like Slipknot.

          • Did you inform them that it was an insult and promptly send them to Davy Jones’ locker?

          • Um … I was … outnumbered? lulzy

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            I thought they were an emo band!

        • CyberneticOrganism

          “These are some angry young men. You should listen to nicer music. Do you like Jack Johnson? My son-in-law loves him, he’s a very nice young man and is very easygoing.”

          – Every older female coworker ever

          • JamesGrimm

            i love jack johnson….and ben harper lol..

          • Lacertilian

            The proper reply is just a menacing stare right?

      • If you add that to my appearance, I think the elderly/POSEURS get much more intimidated. I’m not bragging. I look ridiculous to a lot of people, for sure.

        • Howard Dean

          Honestly, people don’t take “uniformed” metalheads seriously, either–even if they are wearing a gory band shirt and blasting Vulvectomy. The mainstream or the average person just finds it all silly–the fans are the ones that find it “scary” or “dark.” I’ve seen all manner of metal fan, and I’ve honestly never met a “scary” metalhead. You’re more likely to find a reformed/re-imagined nerd who would sooner piss his pants at confrontation than chop a motherfucker up in his crawlspace.

          The dark/scary music and aesthetics are an outlet for a scene of the disaffected–outsiders looking for a means of expression or an identity. The music and the scene and all of the aesthetics don’t scare anyone outside of the scene, because to them it appears exactly as it is–roleplay.

          • Well sure, but i mean that i’ve been what amounts to a construction worker from most of my life. Long beard, lots of ink, I dont mean in any scene way. I was trying to be a little ironic.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Note to self: remove body parts from crawl space.

          • The Satan Ov Hell

            I’ve met one scary fuckin’ metalhead. Dude was tall as hell, had enough muscle to challenge young Arnold Schwarzenegger to an arm wrestling contest, and had DSBM blasting, smelled like someone lit a garbage truck on fire, and had an expression that made me feel as if he were about to go postal.

      • Count_Breznak

        You just have to look the part, and it doesn’t matter what you blast. Also: The more run down the car, the better the effect.

  • This weather is pissing me off. It was 30 degrees yesterday and now it’s 70! How am I supposed to plan my assassinations if I don’t know what the weather will be like!??

    • The weather has f’d the deer hunting. I sat 16 hours this weekend through the warm weather only to be disappointed. And 3 hours this morning. Thursday is supposed to be a high in the low 30’s though. Prime time

      GL

      • Tyree

        Back strap fever!!! Get some!!!

        • Made some pulled deer last night. It was friggin great man

          GL

          • Tyree

            Nice! I’m looking forward to rifle season here.

          • I’m looking forward to being a lifeloving pussy accustomed to having my food hunted for me.

          • Tyree

            I’ll send you the sawed off fucking head.

          • Please bleach my skull BEFORE you send it to me for christmas. Customs can be a bitch.

          • I am sure we could get that sent. Tripled seal or something? Ann better before careful what she asks for….

            GL

      • What temperature is usually best for deer hunting? Do they not come out in certain temperatures?

        • Well, at any temperature they can be moving. But, in general when it is cold as balls they like to move around a lot more. Versus sitting in the sun and relaxing….

          It doesn’t help it is mating season. So they tend to bed down A LOT if they are being bred.

          GL

          • Makes sense, moving around would help keep them warm if it’s cold. Luckily the game I hunt is always there.

          • Terrorists?

          • Da.

          • Nordling Rites ov Karhu

            Terrorist jerky?

          • GL, everyone here has deer jerky on his/her christmas list.
            just FYI!

          • Herr Schmitty

            Oh man… venison jerky… so good.

          • Tyree

            Fuck man, last year was too cold. I could not sit still for very long before my toes and fingers froze up.

    • no joke… sunday i went outside with a jacket on and it wasn’t even needed!!! had to go back in and leave it in the house.

      • Doesn’t it suck when you have to walk like ten extra steps because mother nature is being a cunt?

  • IronLawnmower

    Also I submitted a draft of my article and I hope it’s not too shit.

  • I miss Janitor Jim’s nonsense

    • Gurp

      Him and Conan seem to have been pretty absent lately.

  • nbm02ss

    I hate that I had to come to work today when I have the day off tomorrow. Blah.

    • Herr Schmitty

      Fuckin’ you and me both, bruh. Same sitch, different stitch.

      • nbm02ss

        I’m treating it like a 2nd Friday. Going to get beer when I get off work.

        • Nordling Rites ov Karhu

          You only that on Friday’s?

          • nbm02ss

            Only when I’m out of beer. I’m hoping I can find some Trappistes Rochefort 8, or 10.

        • Herr Schmitty

          I am too, but I treat Friday just about the same way I treat every other day; I’ll be tokin’ mad shrubberies and watching sports and probably makin’ dinner for the old lady and myself. And vidya games. Love to kick back in my leisure time with a good vidya game 😉

  • Note: To kill time at work, I upvoted every comment.

    Continue on.

    GL

    • thank you! 🙂 this is one of my most democratic and positive days at the toilet

  • Keegan Lavern Still

    In working at my new job at a group home forthwith mentally ill for about a month and a half or so, I’ve learned a few things: 1) Administration is inherently, hopelessly out of touch with what happens on a day-to-day basis in any line of work; 2) Administration makes the dumbest fucking decisions and blames other people for them when things go to shit; 3) Hell hath no fury like a man with schizophrenia and severe OCD scorned; 4) The weirdest, most random shit will both warm your heart and break it like you wouldn’t believe; 5) Overnight shifts for time and a half may or may not be worth it. I still haven’t decided yet. Holidays for double time, however totes are.

    Now, if you’ll

    • but does your job allow you to spend lots of time in the toilet, avoiding work that they’re paying you to do??

      • Keegan Lavern Still

        Since I’m the only one that consistently cleans the bathrooms on my shifts, they owe me some alone time with my favorite Toilet. Especially with some of the things I’ve had to clean in those porcelain horror huts. *shudder*

        • Porcelain horror huts is my new word for bathroom stall from now on.
          “Where are you going?”
          “Gotta visit the porcelain horror hut.”

    • Virgil the Ghost Poet

      Just wait for a human rights committee tries to give you shit for doing the right thing. Example man outside eating mud. I force him inside and clean out his mouth. I’m an asshole for impeading his right to eat mud. Example 2, taking a 16 year old out on a modified pe walk. He lays in the middle of an intersection to take a nap. No shit. I have to pick him up and throw him on the sidewalk while he hits, claws, kicks, and bites me. Yep good times. I’m by myself no help and I got him out of the street but I’m an asshole for impeding his right to take a nap. Good luck with the new job. I’ve been doing this for years but most places in this field are truly poorly run.

      • Keegan Lavern Still

        I’m sure that day will come before long. Luckily, I’ve only had to put up with essentially being set up to fail by the administration once so far. It was at the end of my second full week of work and because of people skipping out on their shifts without anyone to cover them, I was stuck having to work the evening shift, looking after 4 mentally ill adults (3 of them having schizophrenia) alone. It was also the first shift where I was certified to pass their medications. Beyond being put into a position I had no business being in, I had to almost literally baby our most high-maintenance client all night in what turned out to be a prelude to his running away from the program 5 times that weekend. Because of that, having to cook dinner, do all of my cleaning, keeping track of my 3 other clients, and documenting on everything going on I ended up fucking up a client’s medications. I ended up having my med passing privileges taken away as well as getting a lecture from the program director on the importance of keeping track of everything and not endangering people’s lives. Never mind that I caught my own fuck-up that night, reported myself for said fuck-up that night, and the fact that nobody thought that having a new, freshly-certified staff working alone in a program that is legally required to be double-staffed was a bad idea. No, on top of the stress in being put in that situation and feeling like shit for jeopardizing someone’s health, I get a condescending lecture.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Playing Ores and listening to Pyrrhon when I probably should be reading or working on my novel. Good times…

  • Just a quick FYI, if you guys want to do a guest sub for TDT, try and get it to me by Tuesday or Wednesday morning at the latest. I would appreciate not waiting till the last minute on Wednesday. Thank you.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Do ghosts die? And if they don’t, does that mean there are totally confused ghost cavemen wandering around?

    • Aren’t ghosts dead already?

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        Well, like is there a spectral version of passing on?

        • I mean… I’m no expert so I’ll leave this up to Patrick Swayze.

          • nbm02ss

            I dunno, I felt like his priorities were messed up as a ghost. You can possess people, and you don’t immediately go for the hot college co-eds?

          • nbm02ss

            By the way, I’m copyrighting this in case it hasn’t already been made into a porno, though it probably has. I guess I have some research to do tonight.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Think there was some kind of possession in Belladonna’s heartwarming classic My Ass Is Haunted.

        • I guess if you consider that ghosts might be stuck between the death and the true after life. Let’s ask @God

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            He’s a wise old duck.

        • This comment totally reminds me of this clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fyAtDIk1uQ

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Woooo Myspace reference!

    • Death

      As Death, I believe I know a thing or two about dying and death. Ghost can’t die like people, they double die. They will become double ghosts after that.

  • nbm02ss

    I’m throwing this up again, in case there are any other Nightingale fans who wanted to hear another song from their new album:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmCJLC6W_Ds

    • Nordling Rites ov Karhu

      Speaking of Dan the Swan, Witherscape’s got sumthin’ brewin next month too!

    • Donning my battle armor now, thnx. #Dragonland #oldladyworkingonapuzzle #marinatingchicken #wherehaveiseenthatfacebefore

  • Gurp

    Anyone else getting the Master Chief Collection? Someone? Anyone?

    • nbm02ss

      I was torn between getting an Xbox One for Killer Instinct/Master Chief Collection, or a Wii U for Mario Kart/Super Smash Bros…..the Wii U won out.

      • Gurp

        nnnnngggghhh

    • We haven’t moved on from Dark Souls really, just yet. We will be starting Destiny/Bloodborne whenever the latter comes out.

      • Let me save you some time man, don’t waste money on destiny.

        • I donno, man. We’ve already been having this debate. How far have you gotten in to it?

          • I got to level 15 or something before getting rid of it. Got boring and repetitive real fast and it just felt half-assed

          • We’ve kind of come to the conclusion that we hope DLC content will keep it from getting too terribly repetitive. We were hugely excited for defiance, which I just now realize exhibits the same problem. Like I said, I’m most looking forward to Bloodborne (fanboy status).

          • I played through the story mode and grind till i hit about lvl 25, the main problem i have is that you can only wear one piece of the highest rarity armor at a time as of right now, so once you hit that, it’s kinda pointless to play :/

      • Gurp

        Ah, Bloodborne, that’s one I wish was coming to Xbone…

    • TheCheezFace

      Wish I could. Don’t have a Xbone though.

      • Gurp

        Well, if you plan on getting one, the price has been dropped to $350 until January 3rd.

        • TheCheezFace

          Cheapest I can find here is 549 dollars (don’t live in the US). Maybe I can find better prices at christmas.

  • metal needs more Reggae air horn sound effects. Throw them in before or during a breakdown.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SVe1D7er-U

    • Howard Dean

      No.

  • Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo

    So I can comment about anything here? cool.
    I wonder if anyone can help me find an old article I read here about creepy songs, I looked all the way back to the first pages but I couldn’t find it 🙁

  • Just got back from California. Back in NJ and I’m reminded what a shithole this state is.

  • JWG

    Extremely relevant to the Open Swim theme:

  • JWG

    On a completely different note, I just found the Bandcamp for “Hive”, the band that opened the gig (that closed the Conference) that I attended over the weekend: http://hive1.bandcamp.com/releases

    Apparently, it was their first time playing for an audience of anyone other than the guy who helped record their Demo, which makes how well they did that much more impressive. Speaking of whom, if you know Cascadian Black metal you’ll know his band: http://harrowblackmetal.bandcamp.com/