Mini-Reviews from Around the Toilet Bowl

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We listen to a lot of music around here (some have whimpered through streams of snot and chattering teeth that it’s “just too much”). As dumb posers sellouts with dumb poser jobs, we don’t have the wherewithal to review it all. Even so, we’ve settled on yet another way to make you weep for the contents of your poor widdle wallets – mini-reviews from around the toilet bowl.

It’s pretty much what it sounds like. Every so often, we’re going to have our writers pick a handful of albums they never got around to reviewing, then review them using just a few sentences. A few writers per post, a few albums per writer. Joe, W. and I will start it off.

_________

SHSatan’s Host – Pre-Dating God
Moribund Records  |  January 18, 2015

Pre-Dating God is a heaping helping of Satan’s Host’s signature blackened power metal, and I do mean heaping. Every song lands somewhere between really good and really goddamn great, and Conklin’s kickass falsetto makes me want to go get a dad haircut and age 30 years so I can be just like him. That being said, not even quality like this keeps after an hour and twenty minutes. Double albums are lame, dude. Bash my face in with righteous heavy metal tunes for 40-45 minutes, then back the hell off. Therein lies success. (Note: I typically dislike covers, and I typically dislike Grim Reaper, but the cover of “See You In Hell” is a serious jam.) Listen to: “After the End“, “Soul Wrent” — Masterlord

_________

GSGoat Semen – Ego Svm Satana
Hell’s Headbangers Records  |  February 24, 2015

I (and a smallish handful of other depraved weirdos) have been waiting quite some time for a full length from Goat Semen – the band you don’t listen to in public for fear of being asked what you’re listening to and having to say “uhhh. . . Goat Semen.” Ego Svm Satana’s 39-minute assault proves worth the wait. These Peruvians have been doing war metal for 15 years, and this album exemplifies the genre. Nonstop quasi-musical fury and vicious Spanish vocals ov death. “En tus ojos yo vi / El umbral de la oscuridad / Madre muerte / Abrázame!” Not for fans of: deodorant, making your parents proud, upstanding citizenry, ever finding love. — Masterlord

_________

a3562890597_10Evil Spirit – Cauldron Messiah
Horror Records  |  October 13, 2014

Death-doom with a little bit of variety in the vocal and tempo departments. While this does manage to break up some of the “monotony of death-doom” (as some would say), there’s not a whole lot to hold on to. There’s nothing particularly offensive here, but there’s nothing particularly interesting either, and that’s coming from the guy who watched his cat watch another cat for over an hour yesterday. If you’re not a death-doom aficionado, you could get away with skipping on this. If you are a death-doom aficionado, you probably already know that you have better options. Listen to “Cauldron Messiah” — Masterlord

_________

Xibalba-Tierra-Y-Libertad-ArtworkXibalba Tierra Y Libertad
Southern Lord  |  January 27, 2015

I’ve been a big fan of Xibalba since they dropped Madre Mia Gracias Por Las Dias (and the absurdly rad video for “Cold”). Tierra Y Libertad is easily their best album yet. It is a delightful blend of catchy hardcore and riff-y death metal. I only wish I had paid closer attention in one of the SIX SEMESTERS of Spanish I took so I could understand the lyrics better. Not sure if this is the album for you? Take a listen to the title track and try not to windmill through your place of employment. Skip the last track though; It’s 12 minutes of a whole lot of nothing.  — Joe Thrashnkill

_________

BatBat Primitive Age 12″
Hell’s Headbangers  |  February 17, 2015

Do you like Municipal Waste’s overtly cartoonish take on retro metal revivalism or are you a stick-in-the-mud loserwiener? Ryan Waste (guitarist of Municipal Waste, duh) proves that he knows his shit when it comes to speed metal as well as thrash as he takes on bass and vocal duties for Bat. Highly recommended for fans of: speed metal, denim jackets, guitars that sound like actual guitars, knuckle dragging, Motörhead, booze and/or FUN. Listen here. — Joe Thrashnkill

_________

hati hatiEero Koivistoinen Quartet Hati Hati
Svart  |  February 27, 2015

I don’t know a fucking thing about jazz and to be honest, I’d like to keep it that way. Self-professed jazz fans are either vapid morons that believe shopping at Urban Outfitters makes them artistic or the very worst kind of basement-dwelling nerd. Boastful ignorance notwithstanding, Hati Hati is a damn enjoyable listen. Eero Koivistoinen is a jazz saxophonist from Finland who has been doing the damn thing since the 60s. He assembled a team of hotshot players and put together this album in 2009. It will see the light of day on CD and LP soon thanks to the folks at Svart Records. Have your kid mix you a Manhattan, put this record on and feel like an adult. But like, a swingin’ adult. Listen here. (Pst… Svart, please send me this LP)Joe Thrashnkill

_________

Hands of Orlac – Figli del Crepuscolo
Horror Records | November 13, 2014

Imagine, if you will, the crustiest Wiccan that you know. She probably smells vaguely of damp earth and weed. Her nails are always dirty, and you wouldn’t be surprised if there was a nest of robins living in her tangled hair. However, one night she invites you over because she’s going to do this super rad ritual and totally open your mind. So you go over to her grimy studio that smells vaguely of cat urine, prepared for a whole lot of bluster. However, the ritual itself ends up being totally righteous, and now you feel completely liberated from your Earthly shackles. Hands of Orlac is that band, and Figli del Crepuscolo is that ritual. Smoke this jam over at Bandcamp. — W.

_________

Snakefeast – The Pythoness
Grimoire Records | January 6, 2015

Speaking of that rad Wiccan lady, it turns out she has an awesome friend who’s really into snakes. This lady lives down by the swamp in a tent because she wants to commune with the creepies and crawlies and learn from their ways. And whatever it is that she’s doing is somehow totally working. Snakefeast bring a fat, fuzzy form of sludge clogged with mud and decaying skin. Thick, beefy bass tones lead the attack over anguished, primal growls that may or may not have been recorded inside an alligator’s throat. This pythoness sounds like she stole Radiation Blackbody‘s secret formula for a gravity-altering serum, accidentally spilled that serum into a bog, ate a water moccasin that had ingested the serum, and totally freaked out in a psychotropic experience, somehow birthing a man-reptile hybrid in the process. That hybrid then went on to write this album. Gnarly. Shed your skin over at Bandcamp. — W.

  • Edward/Breegrodamus

    The Toilet Ov Hell never ceases to impress me, god damn. A+.

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    I friggin love this format, well done guys. There’s a 90% chance I won’t like any of the music, but I’ll give them all a shot anyway. My ears aren’t doing anything better at the moment.

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      Logic how could you not go for Goat Semen?

      • VVayne Brady

        Putting Spotify on private is such a hassle, ya know?

        • Edward/Breegrodamus

          I have had private Spotify sessions over Lord Mantis – like I want my freakin’ mother seeing their album covers.

          • Mr.Custodial Arts

            I don’t think Wrest’s mother wants to see that last LORD MANTIS cover either.

      • YourLogicIsFlushed

        I dunno man, I just have a weird taste in music I suppose.

  • Tyree

    Mmmmm, Goat Semen.

  • VVayne Brady

    I forgot to give Dagon props for putting me onto Snakefeast, so props to Dagon.

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      Still need to listen to the jazz thing, but I think they are the favorite for me of all these!

      • VVayne Brady

        It’s a pretty solid release. The songs keep getting stuck in my head.

      • If you have some work to get through today (I have a fucking pile in front of me), I recommend putting on the jazz record and going to town.

        • YourLogicIsFlushed

          That I do. It’s proposal writing season over here. Excited to give it a spin.

    • Dagon

      I’m still bumping it, thankfully. Sometimes you get excited about an album and a couple weeks later you’d rather shoot yourself than listen to it again.

  • Herr Schmitty

    This really is a great format idea, as Logic says. Mini-reviews are a really smart idea; and this concept could easily be expanded to include mini-concert reviews and the like. Well done, folks!

  • This is a great idea, guys.

  • Tyree

    I have to agree with every one here. Fantastic idea! Let me know if you’d like me to help out with future posts. I have way too many albums to write about and this would help.

    • VVayne Brady

      We’re definitely going to continue this with the other writers, especially since some jabronis were given promos about which they have yet to write.

      • Tyree

        Exactly, I have a bunch of promos that have been sitting in my inbox here. Cool beans duder, let me know if you jerks need help.

      • YourLogicIsFlushed

        I had the idea for awhile now that I would pick a random post metal or progressive release from Toilet Tuesday and do a tiny write up for it, maybe that could fit in here if the one I pick ends up being any good.

        • VVayne Brady

          Perfect. I discovered a little-known skronk band last night, but I can’t justify a whole post for a new band’s debut that dropped two years ago.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Oh, oh, I think I know which one it is!

          • VVayne Brady

            You do indeed, amigo.

          • Gorguts?

          • Väinämöinen

            Waht’s taht?

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Not Gorguts.

          • Stockhausen

            Too obscure.

      • Simon “Djentcrusher” Phoenix

        I’d be more than happy to help with some of them promos you know.

    • Count me in, bromosapien

  • Mr.Custodial Arts

    I think XIBALBA is for the dragging of knuckles, whereas BAT is for huffing glue.

  • KJM

    Moar from Hands Of Orlac pleez.

  • Tyree

    I wish Goat Semen would release a tune at least.

  • KJM

    Hands Of Orlac are like a much grittier Blood Ceremony.

  • tertius_decimus

    > Self-professed jazz fans are either vapid morons that believe shopping
    at Urban Outfitters makes them artistic or the very worst kind of
    basement-dwelling nerd.

    SAY F!
    SAY L!
    SAY U!
    SAY S!
    SAY H!

    Flush this statement to the void or I’m really both: vapid moron and worst kind of basement-dwelling nerd.

    • KJM

      I hate Jazz snobs. They’re the worst kind of musical elitist.

      • tertius_decimus

        Axiom #1: anyone who loves all kinds of metal has good taste.

        Axiom #2: anyone who loves all kinds of jazz has shitty taste AND is a snob.

        Apologists of #1 can’t get this simple thing: there are people who love jazz and they’re not snobs by any means. Double standard at its best.

        Sincerely yours, vapid moron/worst kind of musical elitist.

        • KJM

          There’s a huge difference between liking Jazz(I do) and being a Jazz snob(I’m not).

        • VVayne Brady

          Tertius, if you ever visit Texas, you can just steer clear of that pretentious hole called Austin and hang out with me in jazz-enjoying West Texas.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            And should happen by Finland, which is far more likely, come see me. I live near where you’ll most likely be and know a couple of cool jazz clubs.

          • tertius_decimus

            Thank you! Hopefully, some day…

        • Akerskronks ov Steele

          Les Claypool? Flea? Fuckin posers, no technical skillz LUL lhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELwawjXls6s

          • tertius_decimus

            Les Claypool is a God. Don’t like Flea. He’s awesome bassist but the music isn’t my cup of tea.

          • Akerskronks ov Steele

            Now I’m not really huge on Flea’s slapping technique, I still like their songs though, because essentially he is more of a self-taught slapper who then brought a funky side to a punk thing, it wasn’t supposed to be perfectly technical. Although he’s calmed down a lot these days as they’ve changed their sound.

          • tertius_decimus

            Lemme expand the discussion about pretentious people.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkkzzAjSxDs

            Read some of those comments @ youtube. Flea fans love bashing Michael Manring for… FOR WHAT? What wrong he did to them to gain so much hate? He’s extremely talented and he’s very humble, down-to-Earth lovable person. Believe me, I had conversation with him online.

          • Akerskronks ov Steele

            I believe it could be a reaction from his fans. Or a couple of Flea fans getting their knickers in a twist. I don’t hate either. I just dislike someone’s talent getting bashed just because they’re a little more famous than another. that to me is unfair.

          • Stockhausen

            Michael Manring is insane. I think the only reason someone could bash him is because they simply don’t know how to process it. Or they could legitimately not enjoy the music, but that’s very different from bashing.

          • Akerskronks ov Steele

            Precisely, even from the video I shared earlier, apparently keeping the slapping hand up by the neck is “white guy style” which is apparently incorrect, but I go both ways, it’s just some songs where you need to pick up a bit of speed require the hand to play up at that area. It’s not wrong technique, just utilizing a different method of producing sound.

          • tertius_decimus

            Agree.

          • Guacamole Jim

            I disagree with this guy. The questions you always ask yourself when playing are: 1) does it hurt? and 2) does it sound good? You should be answering “No” and “Yes” respectively. It doesn’t matter if you’re able to “double thumb” or not – that’s just your playing style. If you want to learn how to do different techniques, then you learn the way to do it, but to say that one technique is wrong or right simply because it’s the way way you think it ought to be done is a limiting way of looking at music. Some great music has been produced by people who play like they’ve never seen their instrument before.

            Case in point: Ari Hoenig. Dude is an exceptional, exceptional drummer, and has technique like a two-year-old. Everything about his playing is stiff and erratic looking. The sound is beyond belief. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rr-d3tO-sXM

          • tertius_decimus

            Agree 100%. Here’s Michel Camilo. He slaps keys like freaking percussionist and it works for him despite more humble approach required to such an emotional music.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92bfh4wSVk4

          • Guacamole Jim

            This is some gorgeous stuff. And his technique doesn’t seem to match the sounds he’s producing at all, and yet it’s perfect.

            We also can’t forget the original keyboard slammer (and my personal favourite pianist of all time), Thelonious Monk. Dude’s hands looked like they were crippled, but FUCK is his playing incredible.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KshrtLXBdl8

          • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone
          • tertius_decimus

            @ 10:40 he plays melody on drums, YIKES!

      • Mr.Custodial Arts
        • tertius_decimus

          Saw this strange movie. Protagonist is sheer egoist. Hard to symphatize to his persona. Awesome acting by J.K. Simmons, though.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I just finally saw it on Wednesday! J.K. Simmons is a beast.

          • Loved it. But was sad afterwards to find out it wasn’t based on a true story.

      • Brouroboris

        Fair cop. I went to an arts school and hated the jazz students until i realized they were only pretentious when it came to music and otherwise super great guys. Then i realized it wasn’t pretension and only a different understanding of music ie. mainly theoretical

        • Akerskronks ov Steele

          Should’ve stuffed em into a locker anyways.

        • KJM

          For the record, I’m talking about people who are completely dismissive about any genre that isn’t Jazz or Classical in a very mean spirited fashion.

          • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

            Having been through opera training, I can honestly say classical snobs are much much worse than jazz snobs. For them, it’s basically like a music theory competition ala ‘Black Swan’ (the movie). Haven’t known very many people in ballet, from what I understand, it’s music snobbery meets all the worst traits of a cheerleading squad.

    • You seem like a rad dude but most encounters I’ve had with jazz people were AWFUL.

      • tertius_decimus

        “Intellectuals”?

      • Did someone call my name

        • See, this is what I’m talking about

        • Edward/Breegrodamus

          I still really enjoyed Whiplash.

      • Akerskronks ov Steele

        Like jazz bassists calling Flea a good actor. Yeah, fuck those guys. I slap weird because it’s how I taught myself and coming from the school of rather self-taught, you do what you can, put your hands here or there, stick the bass up your ass it doesn’t matter to make it sound right.

      • Stockhausen

        There’s a big difference in the fans and the players. The players are the coolest cats around, man, but they’ll make you feel like a huge idiot because you are.

      • NefariousDude

        “Jazzier than thou” prix the lot of them

    • Guacamole Jim

      I’m not quite sure where this is going to put me, but I love jazz music. A lot. Studied it in college, the whole nine. I have also shopped once at Urban Outfitters, and picked up many pairs of silly socks which I still wear to this day. I do like to think I’m not pretentious when it comes to music, but that’s probably not true. There is some stuff I just hate, and have actively tried to convince my friends to hate it as well (see: Cradle of Filth).

      • Mr.Custodial Arts

        This motherfucker opened the Jazz Door for me in a BIG fucking way.
        http://www.e-rockworld.com/images/mclaughlin.jpg

        • Guacamole Jim

          Sorry, I don’t recognize him….

        • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

          Charles Mingus and Weather Report got me interested in jazz as well as Miles Davis.

          • Guacamole Jim

            Miles Davis is a shit player (sorry, snobs), but he could put together the best ensembles on the planet. Mingus is a fucking genius.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I loved Sketches Of Spain and Birches Brew. Mingus is one of the best musicians I have ever heard. The Black Saint and the Sinnet Lady is a masterpiece.

        • tertius_decimus

          Michael Brecker brought me there.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYKbpYMgGkY

        • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

          I thought that was Lee Ritenour at first.

      • tertius_decimus

        [handshake]

        I know few jazz lovers who aren’t pretentious by any means. And I’ve never met so-called “intellectuals” who were really into jazz music. They can’t stand it. Instead, they listen to Coldplay, Radiohead and icelandic post-rock.

        • I just got terrible flashbacks to freshman year of college. Yes, those people are AWFUL.

          • tertius_decimus
          • I’m facebook friends with a college acquaintance that swears The National is the greatest band/creative force in existence. Flush those motherflushers.

          • I’ve got serious beef with The National. The most heinously dull band to be championed as “rock music” in the last decade.

          • It’s weird how rock, then punk, then metal were all considered counter-culture, then they were eventually broken down and absorbed into mainstream culture. Commoditized for economic gain, like those fucking Che Guevara shirts.

          • Very true. There are just a handful of “indie rock” bands that seem to have so much influence among the young and affluent and as a result, seem to be everywhere. They headline festivals, sell tons of CDs, and sound BORING AS FUCK. Calling out: The National, Black Keys, Grizzly Bear, alt-J, Mumford & Sons, etc. FLUSH EM ALL.

          • Dagon

            I don’t think I’ve ever listened to a full Mumford & Sons track, thankfully. I like some bands that may fall into that category depending on how you look at it, though.

            I’m a big fan of The Strokes and Arctic Monkeys, specially the latter (Strokes last albums were lackluster). I think they showed something different and improvement from record to record. Both bands feel deeply nostalgic because I listened to them A LOT during the end of my high school period – first alcoholic libations, beginning of a super long relationship, shit like that.

          • Ferris Mueller

            Not sure if Sean Connery or Fidel Castro

          • Fidel Connery

          • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

            Or the Dos Equis guy!

          • NefariousDude

            I despise the arena folk sound Mumford and his band of bitches (and the imitators) have plagued our ears with.

          • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

            I fucking hated that goddamn song ‘you can count on me, like 1,2,3’. Who the fuck wrote the lyrics, a 1st grader?!

          • NefariousDude

            Because an arena is what kindergarten instruments needed. That’s y

          • Simon “Djentcrusher” Phoenix

            I hate The Black Keys with the fury of a thousand fucking suns. And that they are labeled as the current face of the blues.

            Fuck.
            That.
            Shit.

          • Dagon

            If I could flush people alive down the abyss I would put Che Guevara wearing people in the front of the line. Even the fucking parodies don’t have fun anymore.

          • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

            Especially considering they have no idea of his history outside of being a bogus revolutionary. Pretty sure they’d ditch those shirts after learning how many hundreds of innocent people he got killed.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I think Goat Semen is still safe from becoming a commodity, lol

          • Akerskronks ov Steele

            Slap him with an original pressing of 2112.

          • Akerskronks ov Steele

            Btw, this is also why I have an absurd dislike of indie-rock and “high brow” lyrics that are even in bands I love (like Akercocke) that’s why I like lyrics from Maiden or old timey folk songs. They actually tell a story and provide some good sing along.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I despise indie rock as much as I despise current music. Thats a lot of despising.

          • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

            They’re not bad, but they’ve ripped off Joy Division and Swans to no end. I swear, when I heard them on that movie ‘The Fighter’, I thought it was a Michael Gira song.

        • Guacamole Jim

          At music college they’re everywhere. There’s a certain level of douchebaggery that only jazz snob intellectuals can achieve. Classical music snobs are right up there too, though. And coming in at third place are “Trve Metal Warriors.” They’re all convinced that their little opinion of the world is the only correct way of understanding things, and that anyone who listens to anything other than their genre of choice is a musical inferior. Fuck I hate those people.

          • Damn dude. You should put together the taxonomy of insufferable music nerds!

          • Guacamole Jim

            That is a fantastic idea. I am totally down for tackling that.

          • Saw this yesterday, semi-related: http://imgur.com/gallery/dH6yI

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            That description of nu metal kids saddened me because it’s false. I’m a nu metal lover and mudvayne is nowhere close to underground. Apartment 26th and The Deadlights are underground. Also, I love Static X but they aren’t industrial.

          • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

            Exactly what I’ve always said about Static X. This coming from someone who grew up with industrial and is practically a walking encyclopedia on the whole genre. A couple of samples and a keyboard line here and there does not an industrial band make.

          • D. Lee

            the brutal death metaller looks like Dale Gribble

          • VVayne Brady

            So what I’m hearing is #banrandall.

          • Guacamole Jim

            That’s pretty much the underlying message in everything I’ve posted ever.

          • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

            Sheeit, like there aren’t more than enough metalheads who are exactly like that.

        • Väinämöinen

          Usually Arcade Fire is on that list as well.

    • Akerskronks ov Steele

      An old drummer of mine got so into jazz that he insisted on trying to use as few pieces as possible on his drum set and also tried the Buddy Rich grip. Being a hard rock band that shit pissed us off to no end and also made the sound more flaccid. He now has his own jazz quartet, but is strictly jazz and jazz only. So not only is he a complete bore at too young an age, he also believes he’s really open minded when in far tit’s the complete opposite.

      • tertius_decimus

        To be fair, such an example needs justification by listening to the music of your metal band and his jazz band.

        Alex Skolnick’s cover band and his “world music” solo album show how talented guitarist tries to expand his horizons instead becoming an old fart who fail to entertain like all those bands like Deep Purple.

        • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

          Or Kiko Loriero’s solo stuff, which incorperates tons of Brazilian jazz.

    • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

      Yep! Most jazz fans I’ve ever known are older black guys who are anything but snobby about it. Never saw many hipsters at the jazz night up the street from me in Hyde Park, or at the Hyde Park Jazz Fest.

      • Simon “Djentcrusher” Phoenix

        That’s the thing. Most of the old jazz/blues hands, black or white, would slap the shit out of so called “jazz fans” for being such pretentious fuckbags.

        Taj Mahal flat out said in an interview that people who say that the blues is only supposed to be sad and lonely music are wrong.

    • Simon “Djentcrusher” Phoenix

      Agreed.

      Behead those who hate jazz.

  • KJM
  • Väinämöinen

    My jazz fan side is quite triggered.

    • KJM

      See my other comment regarding the difference between “fan” and “snob”, you delicate flower you.

  • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

    GOAT SEAMEEEENNNNN!!!!!
    With that Archgoat it provides a very good/nice blast to the beginning od this year.

    Also Eero Koivistoinen is killer.
    Going to see him soon, never been to a library gig before.

      • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

        Goat Seamen, Ego Svm Marinus

        • Brouroboris
          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            You may want to make this image visible

          • Brouroboris

            Every time i attempt to post an image on discus i regret it.

          • Nordling Writes ov Karhu

            I feel your pain. The art of gif making eludes me.

          • Brouroboris

            Well its showing now but the moment is gone. Guess you just had to be there…

          • Joe Tip: If you just copy + paste the image URL it normally shows up just fine.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus
          • Dagon

            I remember when I did a Swelling to the Jammiez post I couldn’t embed the fucking video and had to email Joe. He was like “yeah you can just copy and paste it, you fucking dumbass”

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Joe wouldn’t have phrased it like that, lol

          • Dagon

            He was actually super nice, as usual. The dumbass part is just how I felt.

          • KJM

            It will soon be time for another TD marathon.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            I have watched it three times and at some point will watch it again.

          • KJM

            The first time I saw it I binged, 6 consecutive episodes. I think a piece of my brain melted.

          • Simon “Djentcrusher” Phoenix

            I really wanted to catch up on TD before Game of Thrones started the new season. But I’m not sure if that’s even possible now.

            I also have to catch up on the final season of Boardwalk Empire.

            Sigh.

  • This is a good idea, there’s a lot of music out there to digest and these little summaries are quick and to the point.

  • Seriously, if you haven’t checked out that Xibalba, you’re missing the fuck out. Right from the beginning the album kicks you in the nuts and doesn’t relent. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsqlhsFKrA0

  • Agree with everyone, this is a rocket idea. On the topic of reviews… would anyone be interested in reworking the “flush/no flush” rating system? Maybe include the low volume flush button that hippies have on their toilets?

    • I’m open to ideas surrounding that. The previous system (1-5 flushes) was just too confusing. The current system is a little simplistic.

      • Maybe Flush/No Flush/Clogged?

        • Guacamole Jim

          There should be a fourth option in there, that way you could go from a “YES!” to “Kinda” to “Probably not” to “Flush this shit”

      • Brouroboris

        I actually like the all or nothing system, it highlights really good shit and leaves the rest to other posts

        • That’s a solid point.

        • Dagon

          I was about to ask what the current system was because the only shit I find time to write about is shit that gets me going, lol.

        • Only problem with that is that almost all reviews are positive and I don’t know how to award a mediocre album like the new Marduk…therefore I have little ambition to write one up! And the only stinkers are the funny ones like Marilyn Manson.

      • KJM

        Yeah, kinda all or nothing with no gray area.

    • There should be a rating system of 1 -5, 5 being the highest score:
      5. Upper Decker
      4. Severely Clogged
      3. Plunger Required
      2. No Flush
      1. Flush

      That’s off the top of my head but I like the highest rating.

  • Spear

    That Satan’s Host is awesome, totally forgot about that. And I just got paid today, so…

  • Dagon

    Dear Masterlord,
    The line about your cat reminded me of this beautiful moment:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wfg1c8dyZYM

    Thank you,
    Dagon

  • Dagon
  • Pagliacci is Kvlt O)))
  • InfinityOfThoughts

    Hands of Orlac totally makes we want to skip work and just blast this while drinking cheap beer all day. Too bad there’s rent to pay…

    Oh and Goat Semen? Trve Kvlt.

  • Dagon

    Wow I’m digging Hands of Orlac majorly, fucking flutes and shit. No need to describe how I feel about Xibalba and Snakefeast.

    http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/17/176ae7261eaf30314b96c44f86a28979e41b9f54d7ae635a6b85718bd2278bba.jpg

    • KJM

      You and me both. They’re like a Punk version of Blood Ceremony.

  • Väinämöinen

    YES. Solstafir, Sunn O))) and Ghost Brigade are coming near me this summer! Fucking Yesh!

    • Guacamole Jim

      Are you the Commenter Formerly Known as The Bestest Tapir?

      • Yep. @MetaAnus2:disqus PICK A DAMN NAME AND STICK WITH IT.

        • Guacamole Jim

          The umlauts and cynicism tipped me off.

          • The “I try to come off as an asshole but really have a heart of gold” act tipped me off…

        • Väinämöinen

          It’s a free world m8.

          • That is factually untrue.

          • Väinämöinen

            My world is a free world.

      • Väinämöinen

        I’m not. That guy is a jerk.

        • Guacamole Jim

          Yeah what a twat. You seem like a perfectly loveable Finnish chap though. We’ve had a conglomerate of strange Finns come and go through the Toilet.

          • Kim Jong Un’s Turkish Snowcone

            Break out the barrels of ale, lawn gnomes, violins and tree stumps, the Finns are invading!

  • I like this format quite of bit. For me, I often only read reviews if I A) Already like the band B) The artwork catches my eye or C) I’ve been interested to read about the album. I’ve recently started to understand the value of time. Looking for a job and apartment, going to various meetings and orientations for college, and trying to maintain A’s in everything pretty much limits me to doing things I really love during my free time.

  • Ferris Mueller

    ^ for Satan’s Host, Xibalba and Hands of Orlac

  • EsusMoose

    I like the format, and I learned W has some strange women friends

  • Simon “Djentcrusher” Phoenix

    All of these are some good stuff. This format has a lot of potential.

    Side note: I like Bat far more than Municipal Waste.