Mini-Reviews from around the Toilet Bowl X


Look, this introduction is to this article as nipples are to the Bat-suit. Sensual and appealing, yes, but it adds little function to the content. So let’s just make like George Clooney and get right to the jewels, okay?

Oblivionized – Life Is a Struggle, Give Up
Secret Law Records | April 21, 2015

In 1651, Thomas Hobbes infamously wrote in his landmark book Leviathan that the life of man is “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.” Scholars have long held that Hobbes had Life Is a Struggle, Give Up in mind when he penned this dread adage. However, the reality of the savagery of Oblivionized is far more terrible. Like the prehistoric apex predator deinosuchus, Oblivionized lunge with lightning agility from the sonic morass of reverb to clamp lethal, dissonant jaws on your vulnerable neck before dragging you under the water and launching into a homicidal death roll. Your life will end in a maelstrom of grinding chaos, swirling riffs, and pooling blood in the silty murk. – W.


a2470471622_10WinterSupreme Blue Dream
Independent | March 10, 2015

In this cloudy morning I felt attracted to different soundscapes with more warm and cozy tones. New Winter’s offering, Supreme Blue Dream, was the perfect album to company my breakfast because it’s like those chubby cumulus clouds floating with freedom in a summer sky. The echoing voice of  Brazilian/American composer Samira Winter is like whispers carried by the wind, and it serves well with the indie rhythmic style and the synth pop melodies. This delicate sensibilities is the strong point in this album, because the more upbeat songs are intersected with other slow compositions, but this never push the album to the boring-meter, and instead it helps it to develop an entire core sound. The music here is warm, taste like cold ice tea and ice cream, and it’s very magenta and cyan; if you ever need to evoke memories or re-energize yourself, play this and make Samira Winter and their pals show you the way through the dream-park. Check: “Strange Emotions.” – Link Leonhart


Economic+Dancers+CoverBand of SpiceEconomic Dancers
Scarlet Records | April 14, 2015

Mighty Swedish booze fueled rocker Spice is back in the music road with Band of Spice, a project that tries to recapture the dirty stoner-ish rock style he made famous with old Spiritual Beggars era, The Mushroom River Band and Kayzer. In this new reincarnation, Mr. Spice is playing with a more straight-forward and even more retro flavor than his previous sonic adventures, adorning the record with his gritty (and now harsher/lower) voice. 70 and 80 pop/rock tunes and styles are inspiration and infused in this short simple-yet-melodic songs. The guitar tone is warm and clean, the solos are very good and precise (Listen “You Will Call”, to check why I say this), and the structures just help to push the characteristic Spice bark so he can make a more catchy blues approach to his delivery. The album, in general, is short and perfect to sing in a short trip, but still is very characteristic and unique sounding: yellowish colors and wood smells are all along the listening. I recommend it if you need vintage sounding melodic rock. Listen: “You Can’t Stop.” – Link Leonhart


Immortal BirdImmortal Bird – Akrasia
Independent | December 3, 2013

Immortal Bird’s debut EP Akrasia is some stellar non-traditional black metal out of Chicago. It has that familiar blackened sense of bleak, ugly beauty, but also brings the thrash and a even wee bit of the grind. This isn’t the first time these influences have ever met, but there’s a je ne sais quoi to them; I just  can’t think of any other bands that sound quite like this. It could be Rae Amitay’s drumming and vocals, which are the star of the show for me. I fully get where this band is coming from when they describe themselves as “the product of choosing rage over sadness.” Check out their bandcamp for pay-what-you-want downloads and some absolutely beautiful looking CDs and shirts, and if you’re lucky enough to live in one of these cities in the South, Southwest, and Midwest, be sure to catch them on tour this month. – HessianHunter


kxpK-X-PIII part I
Svart Records | 27th March 2015

Never had I paid attention to K-X-P before they released the History of Techno EP last year. In short, it was bad. But III part I is something completely different. What they seem to have learned from the aforementioned EP is the use of infectious rhythm and its stretching to hypnotic measures. Combined with equally repetitive but much more scarce vocal patterns and Krautrock-meets-Philip Glass compositions, what we have here is one of the finest space rock albums in recent memory, and all this without guitars. Though the tribal drums and mellotron and synth swoops are based on repetition, it does not mean the album is without tension. This causes the album’s biggest flaw as well. There are moments, like “Siren’s Dawn”  that seem to build up for something big and then just end not long after they began without allowing the music (or listener) to climax. You can listen to a full stream here. – Nordling Rites ov Karhu


SP041EtherHymns of Failure
Sepulchral Productions | April 7, 2015

At first glance, the ninety minutes of depressive black metal offered by Ether’s sophomore full-length seem painfully, impenetrably long, and, truth be known, it is. But over its insane, unnecessary running time, lone member Scythrawl (formerly of Unquintessence and Trails of Anguish) manages to find a subtly entrancing shade of hypnosis found in only the best the genre has to offer. The basic sounds are nothing unexpected–tremolo picked minor chord riffs, blast beats and pained vocals are the sound’s obvious hallmarks–but the way each is able to rhyme with every other is what takes Hymns of Failure to another level. Could Scythrawl use an editor? Probably. But every second of the album feels absolutely inseparable from any other. – Christian


Royal Thunder – Crooked Doors
Relapse Records | April 7, 2015

I know, I know, apparently not a lot of you here like this album, but for me it’s as simple as this: if it gets stuck in my head after the first listen, it usually means it isn’t bad by any stretch of the word. Sure, this album probably won’t be earning a spot on mine or anybody else’s year end list, but I think I’ll be jamming it quite a bit and liking every second of it. Albums as well produced and executed as Royal Thunder’s latest are worthy of at least a couple honest listens. Crooked Doors is out now on Relapse. Get it here, tune out the world and let the band’s (sure, slightly alternative) psychedelic-blues-hard rock sink in.  – MoshOff


Psycroptic – Psycroptic
Prosthetic Records | March 9, 2015

The Tasmanian thunder that plunders from down under is back! Confession: I’ve never really been a huge Psycroptic fan. I knew of their existence, but I’ve never really paid them the amount of attention they deserve, and it’s time that changed; in Larry David’s words, this here self-titled album is prettyyyyyy, prettyyyyyyy, prettyyyyyyyy, pretty very good. You know, with tech-death bands my brain usually ends up telling me “Yep, this sure is tech-y and death-y”, but that didn’t even once cross my mind with this record. Psycroptic play actual riffs and not just a bunch of sweep arpeggios or what have you. Buy this now and treat your earholes like you should.  – MoshOff


Toxic Mutation
Xtreem Music | Feb, 10, 2015

With a couple of exceptions, 2015’s standard thrash releases have not been doing it for me. Well you can add Spain’s Holycide to that short list of exceptions.. Consisting of five original tracks and a cover, this quintet’s follow-up to their No Escape demo is a record full of boundless energy that I feel most other thrash records this year lack. The album starts slowly but picks up with “Apocalypose Riders” and never relents. Although some have made Dark Angel comparisons, I’m actually more reminded of obscure Jersey thrashers Harter Attack, in terms of intensity and grim obsession with the filth of society and its collapse, if not entirely in songwriting. My only gripe is that the vocals (courtesy of Dave Rotten of death metallers Avulsed) don’t match the quality of the rest of the outfit, coming off a little too much like a slightly gruffer Roger Miret. Still, it’s not a dealbreaker for me. Overall, if you’re looking for some good new thrash in 2015 that will put a little strain on your cervical vertebrae, then Holycide is your solution. – Simon Phoenix


rotting sky

Rotting Sky | Sedation
Grimoire Cassette Cvlture | June 24, 2014

Rotting Sky is Tim Messing’s (guitarist/vocalist for Nux Vomica) black metal/noise project, and it’s just…evil. Heavily distorted, loud guitar riffs and feedback are bolstered by the continuous background presence of pianos and synths picking out subtle, moody melodies. Messing screams over the chaos like a banshee with a slit throat, all while the drum machine (you’ll forgive him) does its best impression of a Tommy gun. Unlike Nux Vomica, the lyrics here steer clear of any obvious political or social issues and focus on the human condition on a more granular level. That is to say – pain, suffering, regret, even a disturbing story of someone being buried alive on the song “Tyrants of Sedation.”  And while the subject matter ain’t pretty, a surprising amount of beauty can be found in these murky musical arrangements if you give your ears time to adjust. You can pick up a digital copy of Sedation here on the cheap. As of 4:24 CST on April 22, there is still one cassette remaining as well. Click quickly and god speed. – Celtic Frosty


hkHammer King – Kingdom of the Hammer King
Cruz del Sur | May 4, 2015 (US)

There’s nothing really wrong with this album, but there’s nothing really good about it either. Everyone does fine, but they don’t do anything exciting either. They have the talent to do some cool stuff, but bland Hammerfall ripoff songwriting kills this album. I might check out another release from this band, but I’m not confident they will be able to produce anything stellar. – Randall Thor

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  • Ugh I can’t believe you reminded me of that movie

    • Maik Beninton

      He was talking about Ocean’s Twelve, right?

      • Sir Tapir the Based™

        I think it was about Batman and Robin.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Really another Winter? Stupid.

    • Sweet Jesus. That riff at 1:10 is fucking heavy, dude.

    • Let’s not pretend like it’s a unique name.

      • I don’t get how metal bands don’t go “Hey, we should check out metal archives and make sure our name is unique before we start!”

        Oh, there’s a band called Winter that’s still active, oh well!

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          Great point.

        • New merol bands=the social media manager worst nightmare.


          • brb, starting a beatdown hardcore band called Death. We’ll get 100,000 Facebook likes within minutes of just people threatening us.

          • Bro we should put wolf or witch in our name

        • These guys aren’t really metal, so I guess they didn’t really care.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Didn’t say it was, but the Winter I mentioned is the most famous with that name.

      • Óðhinn

        I’m going to to call my Black Death Metal band Winger. No need to check Metal Archives to see if anybody is using that name already. What could go wrong?

    • Hamburgler Death Fart Orgy

      I like old Winter, but this Winter is even better IMHO. I’m a huge dream pop and shoe gaze kinda Supreme Leader.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        I’ll pass. Once I even hear a mention of shoe gaze, I want to cunting vomit.

  • Sir Tapir the Based™

    My copy of Life Is A Struggle, Give Up arrived today. It’s probably gonna end up on my AOTY list. I love it.

    • Dr. W.’s Tentacles


    • The Beargod

      It is a truly nice album.

      • Slit your goats

        “Nice” is a way to describe it.

      • Sir Tapir the Based™

        Truly a step toward the better direction from their first ep (which was pretty good as well).

    • the song titles are all things you’ve said to me in the past!

  • I actually haven’t listened to the new Psycroptic yet. I should probably do that at some point.

    • MoshOff


    • Do it! 😀 you will love it, I know!

      • listening right now lol

        • Not really a fan of these vocals

          • The riffs, bro… The riffs.

          • Psycroptic has always had out of this world riffs lol. The vocals seem to get worse each album though 🙁

          • The Beargod

            Shit’s easily their best.

          • Yea but I can’t make it past track 5. I fucking hate those vocals

          • The Beargod

            Pretty standard shout, they’ve been worse. It’s not like they ever had a very good growler.

          • I didn’t mind it on the previous albums but it’s gotten a lot worse for this one.

          • The Beargod

            On the contrary, now that the shades of growl are gone it’s less disturbing than on the former attempts.

          • Lacertilian

            I like the new raspy stuff Jason has attempted on this album

          • MoshOff

            Dude their old vocalist (first two albums) is a fucking beast. He plays in a band called Mephistopheles.


          • The Beargod

            You really are an odd bunch calling the vox good.

          • MoshOff

            I like him. He’s no Chris Barnes, but he’s alright.

          • The Beargod

            Yeah, he’s no Chris Barnes but he still pretty damn bad.

          • Stockhausen

            Mephistopheles rules.

          • Lacertilian

            Did you end up hearing anything about Chalky’s other project?
            Ice something?

          • Lacertilian

            I don’t like the Raised Fist sounding parts but at least he’s added some raspy growling in parts, which I’m really getting down with.
            As @linkleonhart:disqus said, THE RIFFS!

          • Lacertilian

            Scepter still exists.

          • The Beargod

            Yeah, but it’s not marvelous.

          • Their vocals have always put me off a bit, thankfully the riffage more than makes up for it.

    • in several hours, @Lacertilian:disqus is gonna come in and place you in the interrogation room!

  • Goat of Dank desires

    Oblivionized is a party that just keeps on partying. LUV IT.

  • Guacamole Jim

    Any links to music on the Ether front?

  • Royal Thunder: Crooked Doors sounds great. I love the stripped down guitar tone.


    • These guys are fucking sweet. IT IS PERFECT.

      • MoshOff

        THANK YOU

        • NO, THANK YOU!


          • MoshOff

            WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?


          • But really, it is a perfect mix. The guitars/vocals/drums are just a perfect blend. I am in love.

          • MoshOff

            Just checked, apparently the guitarist and the bassist/vocalist broke up after the first album and most of the lyrics on this one are about that… damn.

          • THAT’S why the press materials kept referencing “Rumors”. Huh.

          • MoshOff


    • “I felt like destroying something beautiful.”
      -Pumpkin Baby

    • HessianHunter


  • Simon “Djentcrusher” Phoenix

    I actually saw Immortal Bird when they opened for Dead Congregation last year. They are just as intense live as they are on record.

  • Hamburgler Death Fart Orgy

    I likey this Winter stuff, though at first I thought it was the old doom/death band. Reminds me quite a bit of Love Spirals Downwards.

    • I thought the same thing. Can’t wait to see the old Winter at MDF

      • Hamburgler Death Fart Orgy

        Definitely gotta tell me how that goes. I never thought in a million years they’d get back together.

  • Karhu, I can’t decide if I really, really like or really, really dislike K-X-P. Will return with bad opinion after a full listen.

  • This is the best review:

    “I might check out another release from this band, but I’m not confident they will be able to produce anything stellar”.


    • Dude seriously, I was so stoked for what was SURE to be the cheesiest and most over the top experience ever. Hammer and King are used like 90 times throughout their album, but the riffs and vocals are just TOTALLY not there 🙁

  • J.R.

    So I read the opening paragraph to my buddy just now, who responds with “are you on that Metalsucks website again?”

    I am now taking auditions for New Best Friend.

  • Link, your Winter review makes me so happy.

    • Hamburgler Death Fart Orgy

      He definitely has an intricate and thoughtful writing style. And checking out their CD, and dagnabbit I might have to break down and get a BC account just so I can grab the whole thing (that and Orquadea).

      • Very appreciated, Supreme Leader!

        Venezuela and North Korea, brother countries <3

        • Hamburgler Death Fart Orgy

          Love to Best Venezuela!

      • You don’t have a bandcamp account yet? How do you survive here on teh toilet?

        • Hamburgler Death Fart Orgy

          Lots of tendies, beer and pervasive amounts of baby oil.

      • The Beargod


      • nbm02ss

        Winter reminded me of another band that I couldn’t remember the name of right away; after it had been gnawing away at me for a while I had to search through some old orders from The End Records from 2003, and I finally found it!

  • Formerly Known As Oli Sykes

    BRB, watching System Of A Down’s first Armenian show.


    GORAK LIKE TO ROCK OUT!!!!!!!!!!

    • The Great Honey Badger


    • Sir Tapir the Based™

      Oh god no!

      • Exactly what I’ve thought.

      • ME GUNGA

        OH YEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! UGG UGG!!!!!

        • And what the fuck do we have here?

          • Two cavemen with different names but the same IP address…

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Actually there’s three.

          • best day of my life.

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            Did you invite those fucks here?

          • you should know i have not, mr. stalker

          • Sir Tapir the Based™

            If I stalked you, I would already know where you live.

          • Lacertilian

            He’s posted photos of his house before I think.
            You need to attend his detective school

          • KJM

            Maybe they all live in the same cave and share a router?

          • Slit your goats

            I also keep a router in my cave.

          • There would be a different device ID but I like where your head is at.

          • Slit your goats


          • go back to your HEEEEEEEEEEEERD, Goat. Lol.


          • more beer

            At least they are not smashing things here. Like they are on some other sites.

        • Hamburgler Death Fart Orgy

          Gunga Din, the old Rudyard Kipling poem?

    • KJM


    • welcome to the toilet!

      • Slit your goats

        Toilet? What’s that?

    • Óðhinn
  • Paris Hilton

    They used to call me The Hammer King. That was back when I worked in Home Depot. That was before the divorce. Now, they call me “Get the hell out of my bar! It’s 10 am on a weekday, you drunk!”

    Sometimes, I look in the mirror and am amazed at all that has changed. I’ve moved from the Home Depot on 11th and Clarence to The Brick on 5th and Broad St. They now call me The Sofa King, because my deals are Sofa King low!

    As for Shannon, they now call her Rattlesnake Jane. I guess they did before, because it was her stripper name. It makes more sense now as she found a job taking care of Kerry King’s snakes while he’s on tour. She smells like shedding skin from being around the snakes and like sweaty gravy from being around Kerry King- but still- I hope she’s happy.

  • Mother Shabubu III

    Dat Oblivionized and K-X-P brah…

    If I have one album to continue to recommend (even if I’ve done it about four to six times already), it’s Seigmen “Enola”. Really catchy, Norwegian, dark, atmospheric rock. Their past albums are really good too, at one point they were an early 90’s doom metal band.

  • Scrimm

    Oh man I can’t wait to get paid. So much music to buy.

  • pïgchop™

    And…for absolutely no reason at all, this:

    • Lacertilian

      Was more Pathology than Napalm

  • old_man_doom

    You had me at “Krautrock meets Philip Glass” Thank you, bear.

  • Hamburgler Death Fart Orgy

    In unrelated news, I got a message from Filter out of the blue for some odd reason (it’s the actual FB page, so it checks out). Wait wait wah?!

  • Óðhinn

    Immortal Bird kicks ass.