Mini-Reviews from Around the Toilet Bowl VII

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It’s back again. We gather ’round the swirling shitvortex for the 7th time, to take part in the 7th edition of Mini-Reviews from Around the Toilet Bowl – a writer’s favorite wherein we review a large-ish quantity of music with a small-ish quantity of words. If you’re like me, it’s enough music to distract you from your debilitating depression for another week! Hold on to your pants!

 

DTLDrowning the Light – From the Abyss
Dark Adversary Productions | February 13, 2015

The fact that I’d never even heard of this fairly un-obscure black metal band that’s released 13 full-lengths since 2002 is pretty weird to me (add an also-unaware Tyree to the equation and the odds are fucking astronomical), but From the Abyss was indeed my first exposure to Drowning the Light. The admittedly awesome albeit ill-fitting album cover didn’t prepare me for what I was about to hear – the iciest riffing since Storm of the Light’s Bane and a depressive mood so affecting that it repeatedly made me feel like I was on the wrong end of a Kano heart rip. Vocals like a young, ItNE-era Isahn perfectly compliment the ripping, glacial tremolo-winds. They write nothing but absolutely killer black metal; the problem is that they know it, and aren’t willing to part with a single section in order to trim it down. An hour and five minutes is unforgivably long, but still I must harumph!-ingly recommend this. Listen to “From the Abyss“. — Masterlord

___________

kappi

Pekko Käppi & K:H:H:L Sanguis Meus, Mama!
Gaea | March 13th, 2015

Sanguis Meus, Mama! is Pekko Käppi’s first with an actual band. It’s a mixture of Jouhikko-driven folk music and trance-blues. Acoustic and electric guitars slide like on the best of the Tuareg-desert blues men’s finest recordings and especially the rhythm work reminds me of Tinariwen. Pekko’s unique voice fits more dreamy ballads perfectly whereas on the more uptempo songs he sometimes sounds a little out of place, yet the rhythmic delivery helps him keep control at all times. The lyrics reek of vengeance and misery and death and it’s a damn shame you won’t be understanding them because the contrast adds mightly to this albums charm. The opener “Mun Vereni” is a near-perfect blend of all things heard on this album while managing to keep all of its faces partially hidden. The rhythm is kept in check by a machine, which is a complaint in this case. Not because it sounds bad (it’s so simple it doesn’t really sound too off), but because, at best, Sanguis Meus, Mama! grooves so funky that George Clinton ought to watch out. A machine may be precise, but it ain’t no match for a man when it comes to something so vivid and alive as swinging funk. — Karhu

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a2385647101_10Porta NigraKaiserschnitt
Debemur Morti | March 9th, 2015

I know I blurbed about this myself some time ago, but it certainly deserves another chance here at the Toilet, where I felt many of you ignored it too hastily. Porta Nigra describes their music as “decadent” black metal but for me they come off as the polar opposite of that, unless of course they meant black metal of a decadent age. Kaiserschnitt, at its core, is growled/raspy vocals and formerly-rusty/now-clean-guitar-sound over a very rocking riff – more reminiscent of punk than black metal. Piano and choir interludes and outros keep the songs seemingly chaotic, but – like Sigh – it soon becomes evident that Porta Nigra are not truly chaotic, but instead shake up their songs in a rather foreseeable manner (not a bad thing, as Kaiserschnitt remains interesting throughout it’s length). It comes off as a metallic soundtrack to a movie about schizophrenia, not deranged itself, but seemingly so – enough for the movie-goer to absorb the music as an experience-strengthening factor. Listen to “Femme Fatale” to hear what this album is about, but lacking some of the harsher elements displayed here. – Karhu

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a3045949469_10Crypt Sermon | Out of the Garden
Dark Descent Records | February 24, 2015

I’d be willing to bet money my esteemed reputation my lunch a pair of socks that when I tell you there’s a killer new Candlemass-ian doom band out there called Crypt Sermon, Philthydelphia is probably the farthest thing from your mind. But alas, this Pennsylvanian five-piece is here to make you get out your black candles and slow mosh in your bestest friar robes and/or templar armor: Out of the Garden is as strong a debut album as they come, and a definite contender for my year-end list(s). And while the Candlemass influence is evident, this band is a lot more than a mere clone: vocalist Brooks Wilson (Unrest, Trenchrot) has a style that’s decidedly less epic than that of the Swedish giants, lending a more stright-up heavy metal vibe to the overall sound. Guitarist Steve Jansson (also of Unrest and Trenchrot, as well as a live fill-in for Vektor) shreds it up with an impressive display of simulataneously blistering, melodic and technical leads that manage to lend themselves to the songs instead of overshadowing them. And obviously no proper doom album would be complete without riffs, riffs, riffs, and most importantly, RIFFS. In short, INTO THE HOLY OF HOLIES, THERE IS NO WIND TO GIVE US FLIGHT!!! – MoshOff

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Hela0838325171_10-1lgoat | End of Man
Boris Records | May 30, 2014

End of Man is a goddamn fitting name for this crusher of an EP. Hellgoat deliver us with two brief tracks that absolutely crush the lifeloving fuck out of everything holy and pure. Once the hellish intro’s suspense breaks, there’s no stopping this burning train of hate. Hellgoat play a very savage style of black metal/war metal by bringing us chaotic blasting drums, filthy tremolo guitars, and some of the most vile sounding screams imaginable. Atlanta, Georgia is one hot motherfucker and Hellgoat just turned the heat up to a record high. Brace your your self for 8:45 minutes of fucking murder. This is the end of man as we know it. Witness the savagery that is Hellgoat at Boris Records Bandcamp page. — Tyree

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MindflairScourge of Mankind
WOOAAARGH | February 23, 2015

Typical descriptions of grindcore will reuse the same tired cliches over and over again. This is brutal. This is unrelenting. This is grimy. All of these are true, but I’m going to try something different because I want you to comprehend how maniacal this album is. It’s the kind of grindcore that forces you at gunpoint to use your own helmet to dig your own grave. It’s the kind of grindcore that waterboards you until you admit your family are terrorists. It’s the kind of grindcore that beats you with a sack filled with nickels so that you don’t have any signs of abuse to show the police. This is Grand Moff Tarkin levels of vicious. Grind it out. – W.

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AbusivenessBramy Nawii
Arachnophobia | November 9, 2014

I’m often skeptical when I hear other people describe something as “skronk,” but when the Grindprophet used that onomatopoeia positively, I had to take attention. Well, Abusivesness met my expectations on the front lawn, slapped them in the face with a white glove, then shot them dead in the subsequent duel. Bramy Nawii is definitely dissonant, but there’s so much more to it than that. Keep of Kalessin-esque riffs and melodies battle against a Nokturnal Mortum sense of adventurous to carve an ornate, nuanced relief full of vibrant lights and violent darks. This is chiaroscuro in sonic form, and had I known about this release last year, it likely would have clawed its way onto my list. Get it here or here. – W.

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a0836984399_2Father MurphyCroce
Flenser Records | March 17th, 2015

More than anything, this album is fearless. It does not pre-suppose an audience; Croce is simply what Father Murphy wanted it to be. Using bare-bones elements of noise, stripped-down parts of drone, and a minimalistic dash of avant-garde pop, this eccentric Italian duo crafts a haunting sort of extremity that you’ll either love or hate. I wanted to write a full review, but honestly I don’t really know how to fully describe it; no review I read really gave me a clue of what to expect. With the interjecting percussion and odd, fuzzy vocals that kick off the first track, I was immediately hooked by the album’s cold, fundamental detachment despite the warm, natural sounds. Father Murphy will do what Father Murphy does, and you can listen or not (you should definitely listen). Buy it/stream it at The Flenser’s Bandcamp – Stockhausen

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  • Scrimm

    Really want that Drowning the Light. Also getting a lot of enjoyment out of Crypt Sermon, which is strange for me.

    • Tyree

      Drowning the Light is great. A bit long, but whatever.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Is Crypt Sermon not Venom enough for you?

      • Scrimm

        Doomy stuff usually doesn’t hold my attention, and there’s not many clean vocalists I like.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          Not a Candlemass or Trouble fan?

          • Scrimm

            I dig a lot of Trouble but Candlemass never really did much for me. I don’t dislike them though. 99 percent of my listening is death black or grind.

  • EsusMoose

    “George Clinton, Beck, Kendrick Lamar and Varg Vikernes join forces for a black metal supergroup”
    Hahaha April fools hahahha
    AYY lmao

    I hate everything

  • My boss is supposed to be stopping by any moment and my cube is full of dank ass farts.
    #nervous

  • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

    Mindflair>>>>>>

    • Tyree

      Yeah, but the drum sound is awful. Sounds like Archspire.

      • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

        Something tells me your jimmies are rustled.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
  • The Beargod

    Bramy Nawii slays all life.

    • Tyree

      Welesowy Cień is a bad mother fucker of a song too. Glad the label fixed the issue with the clipping.

      • The Beargod

        Acted fast too, unlike some other labels as of recent…

        • Tyree

          Yupper!

    • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

      Will likely purchase that CD. W recommended Arachnophobia Records a few days ago, and I’m fixin’ to dive in with a tasty CD order at some point in the near future.

      • The Beargod

        All three releases they have on their B-page (don’t know if they have more elsewhere) are marvelous. A ridiculously good label.

        • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

          Good to know. Probably will pick them all up at some point. The label gets a big thumbs up for having everything on CD.

          • Dr. Dubz

            Also free shipping on all orders.

  • nbm02ss

    I’m quite into the UK black metal band Terra, at the moment. Their album was released yesterday:

    https://terrauk.bandcamp.com/album/untitled

  • Sir Tapir the Based

    Kylä kylä, Pekko Käppi >>>>>>>>

  • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

    I’ve actually never listened to Drowning the Light either, despite seeing the name in random parts of the metal interwebz for years. Strange, they seem to possess some type of black metal fan repellent. Might be the kinda derpy, metalcore-esque name that scares away shallow motherfuckers like me.

    • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

      Still a better name than Deströyer 666.

      • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

        This statement is incorrect.

        • Tyree

          He’s good at that.

        • He’s not gonna earn that world record any other way.

          • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

            I must have really rustled some jimmies in here today.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            I AM THE WARGOD!!

          • I am the Bullgod!

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            Kid Rock go home, you’re white trash. And it’s not 1999 anymore.

          • Dr. Dubz

            HD, I was browsing on mobile and accidentally downvoted you twice when I meant to upvote you today. My bad.

          • Reichsmarschall Dean von Steel

            No worries! I do all of my ToH reading on my phone. Navigating the comments can be a pain in the ass.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            I am the King of Kings! Time to play the Game!

          • KJM

            That Terminator entrance was pretty cool, and they used the original Motorhead theme which is far better.

          • Tyree
          • KJM
          • <3

          • Stanley
          • The Beargod

            I AM THE BEARGOD!!

          • My jimmies lie dormant, and are less relevant to my repeatedly disagreeing with you than the fact that you keep managing to be wrong about things.

          • Edward/Breegrodamus

            Typing out comments on the internet =/= being butthurt

            despite some insistence that is in fact the case, lol

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Manowar is nothing compared to Ratt. Hows that for a controversial statement?

          • Opening riff – gets me every time!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-rap0WhqSU

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            Which opening riff? The one for Round and Round or Way Cool Jr?

          • Lay It Down , son.

          • Eddie Trunk Jr., Floor Tech

            It Is One Of Their Best Opening riffs.

          • Tyree
          • YOU’RE STRUCK BY LIGHTENING, YOU’RE IN LOVE <3

          • KJM

            I’d mostly gotten off the pop Metal train at this point. Both Ratt and Crue were getting less heavy and more produced, and I was always more about the heavier shit anyway then and now.

          • KJM

            I used to like the EP and ‘Out Of The Cellar’ which is more than I can say for any Manowar album.

      • Sir Tapir the Based

        I like the way you roll.

        • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

          “Roll” actually reminds me of a really lolbuttz nü-metal song, can’t remember the name for the life of me though,

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Wow, you’re saying dumber shit than I usually do. Damn.

        • Come on guys, lets all play nice 🙂

          GL

        • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

          You guys seem to have misunderstood. I meant that the NAME is really bad, not the band’s music itself. And in case you actually like that name, well, I’d be really surprised.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            I do like the name. Shocked??

          • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

            Quite. I guess I should never name a band then.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Well, I guess we all dodged a bullet.

          • Tyree

            HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!

          • Stockhausen

            That name does really suck.

    • That shitty name and a tech-death-lookin’-ass album cover is probably not the way to go. The music, however, I muchly dig.

      • Scrimm

        You really think tech death when you look at that cover? I just think Lovecraft which equals awesome for me.

        • Shrimp ov Bad Opinions

          It would definitely look tech-death to me if it had more color.

        • Don’t get me wrong – I love it too. Just didn’t seem to match the music.

          • Scrimm

            Oh I’m not. Just interesting. I guess I can see that now that you mention it.

      • *From Software lookin’ album cover

        • Scrimm

          Speaking of From Software I was wondering if any of you nerds ever played the Kings Field games.

    • old_man_doom

      Um, not to bum anyone out, but I read a few places that Drowning the Light is connected to the NSBM scene. Not sure if it’s true (disclaimer).

  • JWG

    There’s some really good stuff here I’d love to add to my collection immediately. I’ll just have to put it all on my list for later consideration, though: I went and spent my end-of-month paycheck on other debts already.

    That said, I may get that Crypt Sermon anyway (and start digging a new hole for April). AMG made it sound right up my alley. This mini review pretty much clinches it.

  • The Mindflair has got some of that Brutal Truth sound from their later albums. Shit rips!

  • Kaiserschnitt. So much fun. That is all.

  • Stanley

    I rolled a dice, pick two cards of of a deck, flipped a coin and then pulled a rabbit out of a hat and Crypt Sermon and Porta Nigra came up trumps.

  • Where has our pal Link been? hmmmm

    • Edward/Breegrodamus

      He’s around, I can say with some certainty.

    • Siqq Burnington

      I think he said something about traveling.

  • Dagon

    “George Clinton, Beck, Kendrick Lamar and Varg Vikernes join forces for a black metal supergroup”

    Hahaha April fools hahahha

    AYY lmao

  • Dagon

    The thing I love the most about mini reviews is that sometimes there’s not a single album I’ve heard before – yet they make me want to hear all of them.

    The only exception this time is Kaiserschnitt which I have jammed a lot. It’s great, don’t sleep on it.

  • Guppusmaximus

    I don’t know about this Metal devoid of light but
    Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared 4 was recently released. Enjoy:)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9FGgwCQ22w

  • Warheart

    That Femme Fatale song is sweet, I don’t know how I didn’t notice this band before.

  • InfinityOfThoughts

    Porta Nigra reminds me of Kvelertak; like if they had went in a more maniacal direction for the second album.