Mini-Reviews from around the Toilet Bowl IX

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Some say that size doesn’t matter. They say dynamite comes in small packages. They say it has more to do with how you use it. Those people are right, and in the spirit of compensating for our shortcomings, here are a whole bunch of mini-reviews. Please be gentle.


dasdShaidar Logoth
– Chapter II: The Ritualist
A Terre Records, Mordgrimm | March 1, 2015

Early last year, the magnanimous BreadGod mentioned on No Clean Signing that one of the best secret squirrel spots for tracking down underground black metal is r/blackmetal. Thankfully, unlike the subhuman Fark users in the crowd, I’m hip to that game, so I was able to stumble upon the delightfully sinister Shaidar Logoth. The post that led me down this everblack rabbit hole of eternal torment recommended them for fans of Deathspell Omega and Urgehal, but honestly, there’s a whole lot more to The Ritualist than those influences. From the ominous, doom-metal strains of opener “Drink Thine Wretched Wine” to the choking Emperor density of “The Scourge” this is an album drenched in perpetual darkness and suffering. Most impressive, though, is the sheer diversity on display. Drown in miasma at Bandcamp. –W.

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Cave of Swimmers  – Reflections
Independent | May 4, 2015

This record is a bit of an enigma. While at first I can see why many classify them as progressive, because of the long song length, frequent solos, atmospherics, and expansive use of the guitar neck, I could also not help but notice their very anti-progressive tendencies. Meaning, they consistently fall back to repetitive riffs with a crunchy guitar tone, simple drum beats, and even operatic vocals (but not in the James Labrie sense, and more of an old-school metal vibe) within their songs. The constant flipping between old and new makes this one interesting listen, and though I would like to include a “for fans of:” section, I can’t really pin down a single possible related interest. Just give it a few minutes if you have ever liked anything progressive?  – YLIFlushed

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asdasHe Whose Ox Is Gored – Rumors 7″
Bleeding Light Records | October 28, 2014

I had the distinct pleasure of having this lovely Seattle band visit my hometown and play my favorite venue last week, and they blew the doors off the Triple Rock’s hinges. HWOIG make delicately progressive and MASSIVELY melodic synth-sludge with a slight post-hardcore tinge. Sounds like Helms Alee and Torche having a slow-motion boxing match while Tangerine Dream officiates. A lesson the rest of us should learn; who the fuck needs two guitars fighting each other’s frequencies all the time, when you can have a keyboard making everything sound lush while leaving ample room for the guitar and bass to shrednoodleriff to their heart’s content? This 7″ cuts right to the chase and leaves you wanting more, so donate 10 minutes to some dope tunes, ya chumps. –HessianHunter

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1397491_10152850923961052_8074663526730492625_oThulcandraAscension Lost
Napalm Records | January 30th, 2015.

Walking in the ice with melodies and melancholy, Thulcandra displays another excellent blend of melodic black and death metal with acoustic passages and precise riffing. Constantly compared with mighty Dissection, this Germans published a new album called Ascension Lost in which they chants about the legendary blue angel of death with their own twists, making it a more memorable listen that sounds like they found their sound and not like a clone of the named band. Raspy vocals brought by Steffen Kummerer (of Obscura fame) are telling stories about a well known ancient war now of mythological beings fighting for freedom in the North. Some acoustic guitars and atmospheric passages accompany this tales of chaos; this portions of music makes the listen more dynamic and varied. Because of the blasts, the sorrowful melodies and the neckbreaking moments, this album is a recommended listen to those who want to embark in a new journey through nature and the mysteries of the solitude; and to those melodic seekers in the metal style. Check: “The Second Fall” to know what I talk about. – Link Leonhart.

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God Mother God Mother  Maktbehov  
Independent | March 24, 2015

When grindcore and hardcore make passionate love together, they end up birthing something like Sweden’s God Mother.  Their debut album Maktbehov is a non stop whirlwind of fury that marries the two sub genres perfectly. Chocked full of Converge and Nails inspired riffing, God Mother blasts it’s way through 14 tracks in under 30 minutes. They rarely take a break from blasting and thrashing away, but when they do, you’re dealt some energetic, well placed breakdowns that leave as fast as they came. Between the muddy guitars, hardcore screams, distorted bass and solid drumming, Maktbehov has great performances all around by the entire band, and it all shines through in the recording. My only gripe is that the ride cymbal on the blast beats sounds a little too loud, but everything else about the album is so good that I can hardly hold it against them. Looking at the lengths of the songs on bandcamp shows that most are within the 1 -2 minute range with the exception of the closing track “Eyes Bleached” which clocks in at over 6 minutes. You’d like to think that given the length they’d finally pump the brakes on this thing and close out the record on a slower note. Not happening – instead God Mother sends you off with a very black metal sounding barrage accompanied by hardcore screams that descend into a distorted wall of noise to finish you off. Head over to Bandcamp and stream/buy this bad boy. – Ron Deuce

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GRACEGrace Pitts  For You
Independent |  January 23, 2015

Talk about emotions here. Despair, grievance heartbreak, and mourning come to mind when listening to Grace’s beautiful yet mournful lyrics that she sings with such ardent enthusiasm and are dedicated to her father who unfortunately passed away on January 18, 2012. This is a very touchy album that is very much beautiful and personal. It’s hard not to listen to this album and not feel Grace’s emotions as she is performing these songs, but we will really never know exactly what Grace is really feeling. I don’t want to even try and tap into Grace’s mind because I have no idea how she feels or how this music makes her feel, but I have a feeling that this tribute to her father is somewhat comforting to her, or else she would not have written it. All I know is that this is incredibly beautiful, deep, and brave music. Listen to For You and be completely doused in emotional heaviness. By the way, the song “Run” is absolutely fucking brilliant. Also her recent music video Another Love is located here. – Tyree

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au-dessus

Au-Dessus – Au-Dessus
Witching Hour Productions | February 27, 2015

Are you sad all the time and just can’t seem to shake it? Do you question the meaning of it all and hide malice in your blackened heart for the ambitious life lovers all around you? There is no sunbathing in your world. Just the existential mire that has become your water and your oxygen. It’s within that living, breathing organism of manic depression that Au-Dessus lives and has its being. Au-Dessus understands you. But be warned – they cannot help you escape your torment. The slow, hypnotic riffs and smotheringly atmospheric tones can only provide a temporary salve. The aggressive, tormented screams can only commiserate with your suffering and provide that which misery loves most – company. In this small comfort of wasting away in solidarity, you may gather strength, if only for a moment, to raise your invisible oranges to the sky and hail the black beast within. This is Au-Dessus. – Celtic Frosty

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esfsdTotal Negation  Zeitzeuge
Temple of Torturous | June 16, 2015

Total Negation likes to blend black metal with a doomed plod. It’s one of my favorite approaches, and when done correctly can conjure despair in a way that few other genre combos can. Unfortunately, it feels like Zeitzeuge falls short of what it sets out to accomplish. I can full well tell which sections are meant to evoke crushing, bleak emptiness, but for some reason they just don’t. I can’t tell you why; they just don’t. Instead of popping like a good ol’ tied balloon, crescendos culminate time after time with an underwhelming release. Total Negation is your sausage-fingered friend that just cannot fucking tie the knot on the party balloons, they end up losing their hold, and the balloon goes sputtering around the room making fart noises. You can tell they’re really doing their best, but fuck. — Masterlord

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Deez NutsDeez Nuts  Word is Bond
Century Media | April 21, 2015

Deez Nuts have always been a bit of a joke. It’s a little hard to take a group of Aussies seriously when they name themselves after a Dr. Dre skit. For three albums, they’ve put out fun but forgettable party hardcore songs with a massive hip hop influence. Word is Bond finds the band taking a more serious approach from their previous work and HOT DAMN does it pay off. Each song is like biting into a candy bar; crunchy and satisfying. The rhythm section on this record constantly shifts and manipulates you into alternatively head nodding and two-stepping. Sure, Word is Bond is essentially rap-rock but I’m enjoying it way too much to care. Listen to What’s Good?Joe Thrashnkill

  • Mother Shabubu III

    Here’s my current album of the year: https://youtu.be/sTratYcq3Wk

  • Edward/Breegrodamus™

    I checked out Chapter II: The Ritualist earlier this week on account of our pal Dubya. Quite enjoyable.

  • ChuggaChuggaDeedleyDoo

    Ummm…how was the Shaidar Logoth review NOT done by Randall Thor?

    • Dr. Dubz

      Cuz he’s a poser hack?

      • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

        But I thought he slayed posers :'(

        • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

          He does.

        • … and then collected the bone dust of the false…..

          • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

            Sublime bone dust amirite?

          • Pssst. I don’t know if you do vinyl at all, but Humanity’s Last Breath is selling about 200 copies of their self-titled on vinyl right meow over at their bandcamp page.

          • Unfortunately I am not a vinyl guy. BUT this LITERALLY the second time HLB has come up today. I am pumped!

        • Dr. Dubz

          It’s fun to pretend, i guess.

          • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

            Maybe taking out his sword and slaying posers with steel was a euphemism for his wang.

          • Dr. Dubz

            It was never not a euphemism.

          • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

            Oh God, everything I know is a lie. I guess whipping out your dick at a power metal concert is something NOT to do.

        • I dunno about slaying posers, but he definitely fucks dragons.

        • IT GOATS IT GOATS IT GOATS

          Slay to long into posers and the posers slay into you.

      • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

        He’s the trvest of the power metal warriors here though!

      • ChuggaChuggaDeedleyDoo

        Well, that and the fact that the band’s name is a reference to the Wheel of Time series of books, which are >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> George R.R. Martin.

        • Dr. Dubz

          Welp, that one was over my head.

    • J.R.

      “My buddies and I spend a night in Shaidar Logoth. Almost got killed by a ravenous evil fog, and my bff snagged a tainted dagger that would end up falling in to the wrong hands and dealing me an incurable wound”
      Poor Rand probably saw the name and lapsed into a bout of PTSD

      • ChuggaChuggaDeedleyDoo

        and then he spent 3 or 4 books debating what he was going to do about it, without actually doing much of anything at all.

        • J.R.

          “We will heal you until we can get to the Tower for proper cleaning…” *swiped by Padan Fain* “…after you use its connection to you like a radar to help us recover the Horn of Valere”.
          Found this juicy little worm hiding in a corner somewhere. They have an Encyclopaedia Metallum page and not much else, but I’m a total sucker for WoT crap so I’ll lap up anything I can get. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMmehUWAqfg

  • The Beargod

    It doesn’t seem to matter I forgot, God Mother seems to have been picked up anyways.

    • The Beargod

      Several of thes seem interesting will return with reports/hatemail.

    • Checked it out because of this description, tasty shyt.

  • Tyree Ricci

    Thanks for the song Masterlord. Dick!

  • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

    Every time one of these comes up, I always find myself thinking “what weird music is Joe reviewing this week?”

    • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

      I almost submitted a review of the new War album but I forgot it came out last year so I did a mini review of it here.

    • HessianHunter

      Wow Joe, real talk? Deez Nutz? If you say so, man. I’ll give it a listen.

  • Dr. Dubz

    I can definitively say that God Mother album kicked my scrawny, near-nonexistent butt up and down the block.

    • I was hooked after about 5 spins. One of my favorites of the year so far.

  • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

    Here’s a review of the new War album Evolutionary.

    The new War album may only have one of the original members but this is the best album I have a heard from the band in years. They have updated their funk for the new millennium and the songs are top notch such as That LA Sunshine and their cover of Edwin Starr’s song War. The only problem with the album is the song Just Like Us is a very crappy ballad and the bonus track with Cheech and Chong isn’t as funny as I would have expected. As an added bonus all of the copies come with the album War’s Greatest Hits which is in print for the first time on CD. My Best Buy copy also had a Greatest Hits Live DVD.

    No Flush

    • TheRedman(formerly God ov All)

      No song link?

      • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

        I apologize. I’ll get one ASAP.

    • THERE’S ONLY ONE WAR!

      THIS IS…

      HUH…

      WOW!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiHMy6V5Qjc

      #TRVE

    • Dr. Dubz

      I was really unsure about this until I read your Best Buy has a copy of Greatest Hits.

      • The Beargod

        Unsure it really was JJD.

      • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

        All editions of the album have the Grestest Hits. Best Buy also has the Greatest Hits Live DVD as an exclusive.

        • Dr. Dubz

          Editing my comment.

    • excellent write-up, Eddie! giving this song a spin (i do love the funk)

      • Ahmed Johnson The Reef Eater

        If you like it buy it! Best Buy sells their version for 13.99 and as said in my review has a bonus DVD.

  • The Beargod

    Deez Nuts was definitely felt by these nuts, I found myself jamming a couple of songs over and over again.

    • WOAH. Did not expect that but I’m glad!

      • The Beargod

        Tapir doesn’t hate everything, Beargod listens to Deez Nuts… Tomorrow the world ends.

        • Sir Tapir the Based

          Hey! Don’t talk about me like you know me!
          I’ll fucking sue your hairy little ass!

        • Rhonda Pearlman

          Don’t listen to the Tapir, he doesn’t have a case.

          • The Beargod

            We’ll go to court anyway, you’ll have the honor of defending my divine self and later I might slip some of my divinity over to you…

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            I have a good case! It’s covered with bar fur from the bears that I’ve sued.

      • Rap-rock hooray?

    • RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan

      Me and my retarded friend listened to this in the library on our headphones during an essay typing type. This sixth grader was looking at me so I turned it up and pointed the headphones at her.

      -ROBOTNIK28, 1 year ago

    • Tyree Ricci
  • Tyree Ricci

    Shaidar Logoth is good. Nice find Dubz.

  • HessianHunter

    Cave of Swimmers rules. Can’t stop listening to them. Def pre-ordering their new record.

    • YourLogicIsFlushed

      After a few more spins, I think the single they let you listen to is my least favorite on the album, it’s pretty solid.

  • He Whose Ox Is Gore, feeling this. Vocals remind of the female portion of Kylesa. Riffs are thick and meaty.

    • If you told me that was the drummer for Helms Alee singing here, I would believe you but deny it just to be a prick.

      I feel this too. All over.

  • EMOTIONS ARE MEROL.

    Tyree wins this one.

    This is absolutely precious and delicate. What a voice.

  • IT GOATS IT GOATS IT GOATS

    I’m thinking that Shaidar Logoth is a good, it certainly sounds like a good.

    • Dr. Dubz

      It is an good (see, I can speak Finnish too).

      • The Beargod

        What’s the deal with putting a in front of an e in eunuch?

        • IT GOATS IT GOATS IT GOATS

          Try pronouncing it, it sounds strange when you say “an eunuch” and logical when it’s “a eunuch”

          • The Beargod

            an eunuch sounds good to me.

          • IT GOATS IT GOATS IT GOATS

            No it doesn’t

          • Dr. Dubz

            I’m willing to go to war with Finland over this.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Go to war with Beargod. I’m willing to accept my error.

          • IT GOATS IT GOATS IT GOATS

            We’ll go to war with Denmark instead.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            War against Denmark is always a just war.

        • Dr. Dubz

          It’s the consonant sound, not the vowel. It starts with a “yoo” sound. An eunuch looks unbelievably awkward in American English.

  • Deez Nuts reminds me of Madball a little bit. That track is pretty good, I want hear more.

    • The Beargod
      • I can get down with this one. If you’re gonna do NYHC, do it right.

        • The Beargod

          #ToiletovConfession
          I hate NYHC, most of it anyways it seems, with burning fervor. It makes me physically ill.

          • Dr. Dubz

            it isn’t a confession if you bring it up all the time.

          • The Beargod

            There isn’t a word in your language for the one I am seeking. Therefore I am forced to use a lesser, unfit word.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            What word do you mean, my dear?

          • The Beargod

            Ylitsehersyävä. I have foynd multiple near-equivalents but nothing quite feels the same.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            I dunno what Finland you live in, but I’ve never heard that word in this Finland.

          • The Beargod

            Srs? It’s not even rare. Uncommon perhaps, but so are all good words.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            I have never heard that one. I don’t have a dictionary near me nor can I find it on the internet. Care to give this smelly fool a definition?

          • The Beargod

            Vähän se on kuin ylitse pursuava tahi -vuotava. Mutta voimakkaampi ja siinä ompi enemmälti heilumista.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Mahtaako olla murretta?

          • The Beargod

            No voishan tuo olla. Onhan tuolla Savossa tullu aikaa vietettyä vuosien edestä. Ja Tampereella. Ja Lapissa. Muttei kyllä yhteenkään oikeen istu.
            Täytyneepä oikeen ettiä alkjperä ettei jää vaivaamaan.

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Vai että Savossa. Ei ihme että jätkä on kiero kuin korkkiruuvi. “Savolaiset, Suomen kieroin kansa”

          • The Beargod

            Kaikki pelkkiä vääräsäärisiä, selkäänpuukottavia mulkkuja

          • Sir Tapir the Based

            Oululaiset on kyllä ison kaliiperin kusipäitä. Niin on karjalaisetkin.

        • more beer
        • more beer

          Below is how it`s done.

  • The Beargod

    Deez Nuts and God Mother mentioned in this comment section. Both were enjoyed by Karhu.

    Thulcandra : Much less Dissection-ish than before. I do enjoy this, would go see. Would not buy album.
    Shaidar Logoth : I’m probably buying this and killing myself to honor the upcoming end of the world. Dark and brooding, but a little lost.
    Cave of Swimmers: sounds nice, but reminds me of Crypt Sermon in a negative way.
    He Whose Ox Is Gored : I want to like this but I don’t really. Nothing moves me.
    Grace Pitts: Not today, god, no. I will return tomorrow.
    Au-Dessus: Before I kill myself, I think I’ll eat the cosmos listeing to this. Good stuff.

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    How bout deeze nuts?

  • Actiondonkey

    That Au-Dessus is sick. Even had some Tibetian monk throat chanting which generally erectates my donkey parts. Definitely ordering that one. Side note – Lithuanians are generally fucking crazy and love to party more than Andrew WK.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRzvSInDRo4

  • The new Thulcandra album has been one of my favorite releases so far this year. I’ll have to check some of these albums lately as I’ve been having a recent bad streak with new albums. I’ve listened to about eight albums that were total ass this week. Tomorrow I will be listening to the new Der Weg Einer Freiheit album. I hope it doesn’t blow.

  • J.R.

    Interesting that Shaidar Logoth would appear before, on this the day I have received the entire WoT series on tape. Listening the Battle of Dumai’s Well right now. Need to re-read these.

  • InfinityOfThoughts

    Definitely going to have to give these a listen but that Thulcandra release fucking dope.