Mini-Reviews from Around the Toilet Bowl: 12-17-15

Small words coming from such big men. (?)

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Clutch Psychic Warfare
Weathermaker | October 2nd, 2015

TELEKINETIC, DYNAMITE. Psychic Warfare is real, you better believe it people. Clutch are back with the second jawline punch in a row after 2013’s Earth Rocker, and it seems like they’re just starting to get comfortable with the formula. Nonsensical lyrics, infectious choruses and pure rock fury (heh) are an absolute winning combination. What really sets Clutch apart from their peers is Neil Fallon‘s characteristic and charismatic vocal delivery. He makes you believe (and believe in) what he’s saying, even if 90% of it is gibberish only surpassed by one King Buzzo. Check it out here, and rock out with your… rock, out.  — MoshOff

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tankrust

TankrusT – The Fast Of Solace
Almost Famous | October 17, 2015

Tankrust…oh, excuse me, TankrusT are a French hybrid death/thrash metal band. The band’s strength lies within their aggression. The Fast Of Solace is a fairly straightforward “heavy” album that churns out angry anthems. Some quality solos are a welcome break from the standard growls and riffs and give the songs some much-needed melodies. While TankrusT’s brand of metal may not be “in” right now, there is always an audience just looking to drink some beers, mosh, and chant “Hey!” over and over. I could easily see one of these songs fitting in somewhere on the back-end of a Century Media “Metal For The Masses” compilation record. Just as long as it’s not the one called “Grow Some Balls”. Yeesh. RIYL: Watch Them Die, Stampin’ Ground, Shadows Fall. — 365

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12096557_1658449957726985_6301126572203769862_nATTAN – From Nothing
Shelsmusic | November 30th, 2015

Ah, Norway. The land of black metal symphonic metal creative death metal shrieky, chaotic hardcore? This debut EP from ATTAN is certainly a curveball from the Nordic region, but it absolutely does not disappoint. From the manic, get-this-pit-going opening track “Nocebo (I Shall Harm)” to the weighty, contemplative closer “Edward,” ATTAN doesn’t waste a single opportunity to hit the listener with all they have. These guys zero in on an excellent writing mix of non-repetitive structure and memorable moments, and the vocal juxtaposition of shrieking hardcore against Mastodon/Turbid North-esque sludge singing makes for a fantastic listening experience. Hit the links above for Facebook (you’ll want to keep up with them) and Bandcamp (you’ll want to own this). Buckle in and get ready to spin kick and/or trudge your way to glorious victory. — Stocky

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Afflition Gate Dying Alone
Trascending Obscurity | January 5th, 2016

Affliction Gate can be your regular super old-school death metal band; but their next record, Dying Alone, is one of those short burts of adrenaline composed of furious anthems of hate and fury. Reminiscent of Bolt Thrower, Asphyx or Obituary traditions, the verses of the songs build up and prepare the simpler yet effective attacks of the explosive choruses. With a clear production, evil vocals and skin-lashing melodic solos complete the earth-shattering rumbles of this short, but gratifying headbanging experience. Recommended. — Link Leonhart

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Curezum One Hundred Years/The Top double single
Independent | November 26th, 2015

Curezum is a funny named project with the formula Burzum+The Cure, but it is also a competent black metal tribute to the penumbra work of Robert Smith & friends. Casting aside the humour, we have the expected with two frost inspired renditions of the monolithical “One Hundred Years” (Originally published in the Pornography album) and “The Top” (From the album with the same name). The open tremolo riffing suits in a good way the already dark compositions, and the shrieking demonic voice of Rob Vikernes interchanges with skill the nihilistic adventures of the original songs. I just hope to hear more of this guys. — Link Leonhart

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AnnihilatusExterminatusDestroyah!Down Among the Dead Men – Exterminate! Annihilate! Destroy!
Cyclone Empire | November 6th

Down Among the Dead Men continues to (d-)beat the hecking crap out of absolutely everyone with their crusty death metal. Dave Ingram sounds as beastly as ever, and Rogga Johansson/Dennis Blomberg -duo’s riffing is on point. “Pyramids of Mars” kicks the record open with a furious death metal tremolo-riff, and while the rest of the album does take heavier use of their crust/d-beat influence, it’s clear this album is heavier on the death metal – both overall and compared to their debut. The only exception is Forged In Fire (yes, it’s an Anvil cover), with its near doom-like riffing; otherwise the album never lets go of its fast-paced, relentless pummeling. The production is clear, and bass-full, which compliments the songs quite nicely. Think of a heavier, death-y cover of “Protest and Survive” (which is something you’re literally going to get) and you’ve pretty much got this album pinned down. It’s a simple album, 38 minutes of good riffing and a good time – exactly what you came in for – no more, no less.  Nordling Rites ov Karhu

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Nachtlieder – The Female of the Species
I, Voidhanger | December 7, 2015

Dagny Susanne, the leading lady behind Nachtlieder, knows how to take a basic formula and inject it with vitality and purpose. If you listen to Female of the Species, you’ll hear all manner of expected black metal elements. There is no shortage of tremolo riffs, blast beats, or gurgled vocals. Where Susanne clearly shines, though, is in injecting her own unique experiences and vision into the black metal archetype to craft memorable, distinct songs. Take “Eve”, for example. The track is built around a singular riff that repeats for the majority of the song. However, the drums alternate rhythm every few measures, juddering from fast to slow, creating a spiraling, mesmerizing effect. It’s a simple measure with profound, catchy impact, and you’ll find all sorts of little moments like this across this album. Definitely check it out. – W.

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prPuerto RicoCommonwealth
United States of America | July 25, 1952

Puerto Rico is an island in the Carribean. Because it is a U.S. territory, it’s a great vacation spot for lazy passport-less Americans. Through the lack of statehood, we’ve kinda wrecked the Puerto Rican economy. Ignoring that, a majority of the inhabitants speak English and will tolerate your annoying tourist ways, fried food and booze are plentiful, and the sightseeing is pretty superb. Recommended tracks include: The island of Culebra, El Yunque National Forest, and the Bioluminescent Bay. Try to avoid Luqilla, getting bit by stray dogs and cats, and travelling with a companion that remains blackout drunk for days at a time. Bonus: everyone drives like a fucking maniac.  – Joe Thrashnkill

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medallaMedalla LightPremium Lager
Compañía Cervecera de Puerto Rico | December 7, 1937

Medalla Light is the fuel that keeps Puerto Rico going. This elixer comes in 10 ounce cans that are ideal for crushin’. It’s cheap and likely available no more than 50 feet away from you, no matter where you are on the island. The flavor is crisp and refreshing, not dissimilar to carbonated water with a touch of corn sweetness. Medalla contains some kind of magical formula that allows you to consume dozens of them without feelings of bloating or excessive drunkenness. If you like cheap, watery beer, do not pass up this gem. 10/10 WDBWA.  – Joe Thrashnkill

  • Stockhausen

    BEHOLD.

  • I can’t put my finger on it but something is wrong with that dudes face in the picture…….

    • He does coal mining in the morning and then it’s straight to the spreadsheets at the office right after.

  • ┼yree

    Poop. I forgot my apple today as part of my nutritious lunch, perhaps Dagny Susanne can share some of hers with me.

  • KJM, Shake Zula

    Clutch rips shit up.

    • Boss the Ross

      All day, everyday, 24/7, 365. Without fail.

      • I think you mean 365.25, Boss.

        • Boss the Ross

          And 366 on leap years

  • Salvador Dalí Lama

    Joe did you get to see any chupacabras?

    • I was on the lookout, but I didn’t see a single one of the bastards. Next time, I’ll travel with a goat.

      • Hubert would surely volunteer!

        • more beer

          That’s harsh!

          • Dubs

            He probably doesn’t want to be sucked.

          • more beer

            Which is why I don’t think he is going to volunteer. To have his blood sucked out.

          • Oh. I am an idiot. I thought we were talking about those cute things from the flush it friday post 2 weeks ago.

            /sorry

          • more beer

            Yes they are called goat suckers for a reason.

          • this is what I thought we were talking about.

            http://i.imgur.com/qKLpuFr.gif

          • more beer

            Those are just like Guinea Pigs on steroids.

          • AHHHH those things are friends with Tapirs… That is where I was getting confused. God damn, what a day.

          • more beer

            Hahaha!!!! The Tapir has no friends. He doesn’t even like us.

          • HARSH. lol

          • OUR tapir doesn’t have any friends. The rest of them seem to like capybaras though.
            https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8242/8600103838_304585306c.jpg

          • more beer

            Okay. So the Toilet gets the one unfriendly Tapir on earth. That seems kind of messed up.

          • more beer

            Very cute.

          • ┼yree

            One year as I was walking through the woods while doing a hunting drive I came across 2 skinned Coyotes hanging from a tree. It was a little eerie.

          • I’d say! Gross smelling, I bet. They stink to high heaven! Especially two of them!

          • ┼yree

            Nah, it was freezing out with about a foot of snow. It was just odd and and surprising. Not sure who would have done that.

          • Not sure, the hid is worth nothing. So who knows? Sentimental value, maybe.

          • ┼yree

            Yeah, no clue. I found a severed pigs head in the woods to one year. The farmers must dump shit on top of the mountain I guess. That’s the only explanation I have for it.

      • more beer

        Don’t you guys had them in Texas?

        • It’s a pretty common belief among the Mexicans I know. I think it’s originally Puerto Rican folklore though.

          • more beer

            I’m not sure where it began. But they think that in New Mexico also.

        • Dubs
          • more beer

            Do you know where in Texas that was taken?

          • Dubs

            the link said Wise County, which is outside of Fort Worth and includes Decatur.

          • more beer

            Cool. It is pretty crazy looking.

          • Dubs

            I think they proved the weird animals were coyotes with bad cases of mange, if memory serves.

          • more beer

            Looks kind of like a coyote. Except the snout looks a little short. I worked on a golf course in Albuquerque that had one living there. It was pretty fearless. It would sleep in the sand traps. While I would be on the mower cutting greens. So I have gotten a pretty good look at them.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            We even have coyotes in Somerville now. They live in some of the disused industrial areas and are very timid. Even at night you won’t see them unless you really try.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Awww, just trying to catch a ride!

          • Silly coyote, you don’t even have to go to work today!

          • more beer

            They are actually in all of the lower 48 states.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            We’re seeing them more now because their usual hiding spots are being developed by the MBTA for the Green Line extension. Before a few years ago you never heard about them.

          • more beer

            Progress tends to displace wildlife.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Their food sources(raccoons, possums, strays, rats) are still very plentiful despite that, so they won’t go far.

          • they are more scavengers than hunters. They typically only hunt for mice and such.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Plenty of smaller rodents here, also lots of high end garbage.

          • more beer

            Then they will be in competition for food. With the crust punks

          • I say that but they can also mutilate deer fawns….I have seen that first hand.

          • more beer

            They can adapt to anything.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            They’ve proved it.

          • I will have to make a note to post some yote pictures that I have gotten on my trail cams this year. They are bastards!

          • Waynecro

            I live in Southern California, and my neighborhood is lousy with coyotes. When we first moved into this house, the neighbors warned us about the coyotes. The night before, coyotes killed their tiny dog. They found pieces of their pooch all over the yard.

          • more beer

            They were everywhere when I live in New Mexico. They kill many peoples pets there.

          • Waynecro

            Yeah, we pretty much have to be outside with our little dog whenever he goes out.

      • I’m sure Hubert is stoked.

    • chupacapybaras?

      • Dubs

        I used to have a Chupa chup tree in my room. Hundreds of chupa chups, there for my sucking.

        • Dagon

          Naughty

      • Salvador Dalí Lama

        Joe’s new band name.

    • KJM, Shake Zula

      I thought those were only in Mexico.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzIJ88oEPYg

  • Boss the Ross

    Pure Rock Fury, hahaha MoshOff is the man.

    • MoshOff

      I thank thee for the kindest of words.

      • Boss the Ross

        I thank thee for reviewing Clutch.

  • ┼yree

    Light beer in general pretty much falls under that description.

  • That Puerto Rico album sounds dope. Can’t believe it’s been out that long and we’re just now getting around to it.

    • Dagon
      • Forgot to mention in the review: super attractive women, super aggressive dudes. Proceed with extreme caution.

        • Dagon

          I imagine they’d get defensive. Think about how many dudes go overboard disrespectful over there. Same in Brasil and pretty much every beach + beautiful women destination.

          • Dubs

            Dagon on holiday be like:

          • Dagon

            Am I nothingness?

            I sure feel like it.

          • Dubs

            Oh oops, the picture went away. I called you a hedonist.

          • Dagon

            I’m no hedonist. I am a collected, responsible member of society.

          • MoshOff

            tel me mor about Brasil

          • Dagon

            You probably know more than I do at this point 😉

          • It’s proven that a nice round booty will drive a man bonkers.

          • Dagon

            It’s science.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            PROVEN science.

          • Doesn’t matter whether you are looking at the front or the back of a lady. You’re going to get hypnotized by something.

          • Waynecro

            When I was in college, a classmate did an experiment for a sociology class to determine what causes men’s love of lady butt. He deemed the cause evolutionary. Protip: The guy probably just wanted to skulk around the campus talking about and looking at lady butt.

          • This excuse is as good as any.

          • Waynecro

            His study certainly had merit: He collected an awful lot of data.

        • Stanley
  • Keith Richards’ Itchy Gooch

    Glad you enjoyed PR! 😀
    Gorgeous place, and would love to go back someday.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyoV6mk74_o

  • COAL ROLL

    True story. My bother in law and his new wife booked a honeymoon to PR. When they go there, the place was no longer in business. And of course they prepaid. It was supposed to be an all inclusive so they brought minimal money. They ended up staying in a hostel or some shit. It was a disaster

    • Sounds like a hell of a way to make sure your marriage starts off on the right foot!

      • COAL ROLL

        considering what they went through leading up to the wedding which almost didn’t happen, this was a relatively easy thing for them to deal with

  • Chaotic hardcore is Viagra for the ear drums. Definitely feeling ATTAN, nice pick Stocky!

  • ┼yree

    Mini Review:

    Ride For Revenge – Ageless Powers Arise (Bestial Burst) 2015

    Finnish hell warriors released their 5th studio album “Ageless Powers Arise” back in
    October of this year. RFR take an interesting approach to their brand of Black
    Metal by down tuning their instruments and playing particularly plodding. I was
    pretty blown away by their 2014 album “Enter the Gauntlet” so I was excited to
    see that they already had an album dropped this year. If you are into downtuned
    sludgy mid-tempo bass annihilation but also like the black metal spectrum of
    metal then “Ageless Powers Arise” is worth a shot. Just some filthy blackness
    to ruin everything.

    https://rideforrevenge.bandcamp.com/album/ageless-powers-arise

    • Dubs

      The track I’m listening to now sounds more doom than black to my ears.

      • ┼yree

        It’s very sludgy/doomy. Vocals/Lyrical themes are more on the blackened spectrum I guess is what I should have said.

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          I’ll be the judge of that. ^_^

          • ┼yree

            Bring on the Judging.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I shall judge the Sludge.

            Very Doom/Sludge so far, but with Blackened production.

          • ┼yree

            Oh yeah, the filth is draped with that layer of blackened goodness. This album shakes my house when I crank it up. The sub sounds like it’s just going to explode.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      I have a mini of this in the folder :/
      Agree with yours though.

      • ┼yree

        Oh, poop. Comments don’t count though. My thoughts don’t matter. None of this matters. Looking forward to yours.

  • ┼yree

    New Ritual Chamber track “Beings Of Entropy”!

    https://soundcloud.com/profoundlorerecords/ritual-chamber-beings-of-entropy

  • Waynecro

    I’ll be blasting Attan in the gym in the near future.

  • Old Man Doom

    Holy shit, ATTAN is so damn good. Praise be to Stocky.