Mini-Reviews from Around the Toilet Bowl: 10-15-15


Mini Reviews brought to you from now on by Moshito, the non-alcoholic Mojito.

Since the Masterlord is busy with all his Master business (because let’s be real, any dumb Liege can do Lord stuff), I will be taking over Mini-Reviews for the time being, or until the day Xenu descends from the Heavens and shows us His true reptilian form to bring about the rapture. Or something.


Cryptopsy The Book of Suffering Tome I (EP)
Self-Released | October 30th, 2015

Catchy yet spastically technical riffs? Check. Slap bass? Check. Out-of-control drumming? Check. Untethered amounts of groove and breakdowns?? Double check. Montreal’s prodigal sons have returned, and it seems as if they’ve finally found themselves after more than a decade of struggling to carve out a niche to call their own. The Book of Suffering Tome 1 (the first in a series of several EPs) strikes the perfect balance between the band’s “classic” sound and the more math-y deathcore stylings of the much-loathed The Unspoken King, making for four songs that are as varied as they are, well, good. This is unmistakeably Cryptopsy, yet at the same time it manages to sound inspired by injecting just enough of a modern twist to keep things interesting. Don’t skip this, pre-order here. — MoshOff


Trivium Silence in the Snow
Roadrunner Records | October 2nd, 2015

Being a longtime fan that was a bit underwhelmed by 2013’s Vengeance Falls, I settled in for my inaugural spin of Silence in the Snow more than a bit wary of what might lay in store, but finished thoroughly satisfied. See, the progression toward a (much) more radio-friendly sound initiated a few albums ago has all but ceased, but this time around the band sounds more sure-footed and showcases stronger songwriting while simultaneously serving up a slew of groovily memorable riffs and sing-along choruses, even if the overall production values are a bit much. Of note is one Matt Heafy, whose voice now bears a more distinct tone and character despite not performing, ahem, “unclean” vocals. If you’re a fan of any of Trivium’s previous work you’ll probably dig this.  — MoshOff


odium terraformOdiumTerraform
| October 23rd, 2015

From the land of pucks, Tim Horton’s, and the Fight Network comes the band Odium. Hailing from Hanover, Ontario, this fivesome blends the straightforward aggression of metalcore with flourishes of the Gothenburg sound. Odium shows a lot of confidence in their skills, especially for an independent band. They are unafraid to go from well-crafted solos to quiet, clean moments to punishing straightfoward pound-your-head-into-a-war metal. “Terraform” has got groove and aggression in all of the right places. RIYL: The Absence, Arsis, God Forbid. –365


Temple of Baal Mysterium
Agonia Records | October 2nd, 2015

It feels a little strange to refer to Temple of Baal as blackened death mainstays, but this French quartet has been defiling earholes since 1998. Their 5th album, Mysterium, is yet another solid entry in their catalog but not exactly a revelation. There are certainly some fantastic songs, see “Lord of Knowledge and Death” and “Divine Scythe”, but everything starts to feel a little exhausting by the time you get to the back end of the album. It feels like a marathon-length album that wants to sprint the whole way and begins to falter on wobbly legs as the finish line comes into sight. Perhaps some trimming and a leaner attack could help elevate Mysterium, but as it stands this is a pretty good but bloated affair. — Leif


The Man-EatiTM-ET - ITAOLng Tree – In The Absence of Light
Ranka Kustannus | March 20th, 2015

I’ll bet I wasn’t the only one who’s initial interest in this band was its inclusion of former Sentenced musicians. The music itself quickly proved to be something else; Anathema meets Katatonia would be a closer point of reference. It’s been almost four years since TM-ET’s sophomore, and in between albums they have changed vocalists. Antti Kumpulainen shows his worth instantly; opener Breath Emptiness adds growls to the band’s repertoire before sliding back into the somber cleans, now stronger than before. It’s clear that Kumpulainen’s vocals will allow the band to explore their sound further than before. The guitars and keys have achieved a balance in which neither clearly lead the songs or do anything that would alone be enough to blow any minds, despite beautiful moments like The Vessel or The Divided. It’s all about the whole; unfortunately the whole is a little too samey and a faster song or two wouldn’t hurt. — Karhu


Ironsword None but the Brave
Shadow Kingdom Records | May 19th, 2015

I will not extend myself with this, because only watching that awesome cover art with that audacious warrior shattering skeletons you will get what menace is Ironsword dealing with. Slaying posers since 1995, these Portuguese berserkers unleash None But the Brave, another tribute to the powerful underground Heavy Metal style. The Manilla Road, Cirith Ungol and Manowar influences are present in their solemn and devastating 11 furious anthems. Expect a earthshaking rhythmic over chants of glory and power, because Ironsword do not want to stop fighting for the metal treasures.  Link Leonhart


Dolven Navigating the Labyrinth
Independent | May 13th, 2015

In Navigating the Labyrinth, we will wander around hearing an ecclectic mix of acoustic guitar Nature Folk and Doom Metal. Born from the darkness on unknown foggy mountains of Portland, United States, Dolven is an interesting project that fuses the slow melodramatic tempos of the metallic bleakness with the delicate atmosphere of the nature worship. A very dynamic sounding drumming style sets the game in which bluesy guitars collides with steel melodies; along some baritone chants a la Empyrium that echoes through the stone walls. Making heavy use of the contrasts between both genres, I think Navigating the Labyrinth can be considered as a great record.  Link Leonhart


Of Feather And Bone – Embrace The Wretched Flesh
Good Fight Music | September 18, 2015

If Napalm Death and Hatebreed had crusty grindy sex together, the result would be something like Of Feather And Bone’s Embrace The Wretched Flesh. So you’re a Mosh Bro and you like breakdowns? You’re invited. Haven’t showered in days, possibly weeks? You’re invited. You like to bang your head? You’re invited. Dissonance? Got that too. This is even doused with a little salt and pepper of blackenedness. That’s right people, there’s multiple genres at play here and they are all intersecting and high-fiving each other. Everything’s copacetic. So if you’re having a rough day, don’t turn on some twinkle toes bullcrap that will sully you further. Get your Embrace The Wretched Flesh on and channel those terrible feelings. It’s guaranteed to keep that frown a frown in the best way possible. — Ron Deuce


Solaire  Magic Witch Bomb
Self-Released | September 26, 2015

Y’all remember Solaire? Y’know, the band we declared the best unsigned band in South Carolina? They just dropped their debut LP, and I think it’s worth your time. Magic Witch Bomb retains the elements that made their Solaire EP so enjoyable, including impressive down-tuned bluesy rock riffs, understated vocal melodies, and a driving sense of motion throughout. Most exciting, though, are the few curveball tracks Solaire pitches here; “Jet Cat” is pure power pop and an absolutely joyous listen, “Johnny Gets Paid” feels like a stoner take on Motörhead, and “Coloradoing” is metal silliness in the best way. My only beef here is that the production makes it sound like the band is playing in the apartment next door. — Joey Thrashnkill


Aosoth.OrderOfOriasAosoth/Order of Orias – Split 12″ MLP
W.T.C. Productions | October 15, 2015

This is probably the single most sinister black metal split you’ll hear all year. Both bands contribute exactly one festering sacrifice to this sonic occult ritual, and each half is equally thrilling. Aosoth start things off with a dissonant riff I can only describe as diseased before belching forth ten minutes of malevolent polemics and arcane chords, all while unrepentant blasts coil and shift around the guitars like the Serpent of olde. Order of Orias follow up with a more subtle and insidious 13-minute track that suffocates you with strangling riffs and a noxious, fuming atmosphere. Your frail mortal coil will be buried beneath the falling, flaming timbers of the unrelenting assault. Unfortunately, I can’t find this album streaming anywhere yet, so keep your eyes on the WTC Bandcamp page. – W.

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  • Damn you Dubya!

    • Vote for Jeb

      Aosoth and Trivium in the same post. This is what’s cool about the Toilet. There’s something for everyone!

      • I was just kidding around. I’m just pissed I can’t hear it yet.

        • Vote for Jeb

          Haha, I knew exactly what you meant. My comment was more of a general thing.

          • Ah gottcha.

          • Vote for Jeb

            I was also trying to find a video of Koko the gorilla getting kittens for her 44th birthday for you, but the link is broken 🙁

          • this is an intriguing comment. I wish to see described video plz

          • Vote for Jeb

            I think facebook accidentally gave the Koko website a death-hug, so here’s this.


          • If this doesn’t warm someones heart, I am not sure what is wrong with that person.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            My friend just got a kitten. She’s awesome and loves to play.

  • Thanks, MoshOff.

    The new Trivium won’t be for everyone, but for those who like decent mainstream heavy metal it’s thoroughly enjoyable. The songs seem more to-the-point than (their masterpiece) Shogun and that’s not a bad thing IMO.

    As a person who’s been listening to heavy metal since 1983 I can draw a far straighter line from Maiden, Priest, Dio, etc. to this than the more extreme types of metal that many of Trivium’s detractors are still complaining about them not delivering.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      I did like Vengeance Falls. This isn’t as good as I thought it would be.

      • I respect your opinion. At least you’re not a douche about it. It never bothers me when metalheads say they dislike a band and/or their albums.

        What irritates me is pricks (unlike yourself) trying to make other people miserable for liking something they don’t like and trying to suck all of the fucking fun and comradery out of what should be a diverse “metal community.”

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          Thank you. I don’t force my opinions on people and I never will.

    • Maik Beninton™

      This, people are even calling them hard rock.
      I guess Maiden should be called hard rock too.

      • You’d think the same people would already be doing that but Maiden (though they’ve released no masterpiece since Seventh Son) are pretty much untouchable in the pantheon of metal gods now. Whiny metalheads aren’t known for consistency or logic though.

        • Ted Nü-Djent ™

          There may be no masterpiesces as such but they’ve had some pretty great releases in the last 15 years. Compare them to some other bands of their era and they’re doing just fine by me.

          • There’s some good tracks here and there but I’ve not been super-duper impressed by any of Maiden’s post-eighties stuff as much as you, I guess. At least they didn’t disintegrate into shit like post-eighties Metallica though.

    • I kind feel like the songs were a bit less “full” than normal. The songs are good and the performance is great… but I feel like there could be a bit more “meat” to the songs. They mentioned they wrote most of the songs when the band was jamming together… so it is possible that they just left the songs simpler rather than over the top. All and all it is a fine record. I have been enjoying it thoroughly!

      • It’s definitely not shock&awe mindblowing but IMO stuff doesn’t always have to be. Matt Heafy’s vocals sound great though.

        • The vocals make the songs SO much more digestible and memorable right from the git-go. He has really stepped up his game

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Trivium is on my top 5 disappointment list.

    • Says the guy who loves Siren Charms……. I don’t get it.

      • Trivium needs a DJ tho. J/k JJD 🙂

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        I didn’t get why they said it was going to be like Shogun. I love Shogun but even though I do like the new one I don’t love it.

        • They never said it was going to be like Shogun. They said that they won’t ever just write Shogun 2.0

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Well I guess I was confused. Maybe I’ll give it another listen to see if it grows on me.

          • I didn’t like it on first listen

          • If you don’t dig it you don’t dig it. It’s all good.

          • Which is ok. Because they couldn’t possibly make a better Shogun without failing miserably.

          • Yea that would like Cattle Decapitation trying to top Monolith of Inhumanity……OH THATS RIGHT THEY DID

          • Based Pingu

            Topping a meh album ain’t that hard.

          • I think they did too but MoH was such a shockingly great album to me that now I just expect it from them haha.

          • Yea they’ve set an extremely high standard for themselves lol

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’m giving it abother listen and you know what? This is quality rock. It may not be Shogun but Im enjoying it much more than anything since that album. I’m gonna buy it

          • The mastering job sounds great for a 2015 release.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Is it brickwalled? If not thank god.

    • Based Pingu

      How can something that’ll surely be shitty be a disappointment?

    • ME GORAK B.C.™


      • Do you live in OHIO, Gorak?

        • ME GORAK B.C.™


          • Toledo? Sandusky? Cleveland?

          • ME GORAK B.C.™


          • Findlay? Defiance?

            SPILL THE BEANS, BOY!

          • ME GORAK B.C.™


          • Relax, Gorak, just enjoy the merol.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™


          • Now THAT would be a plot twist lol

        • Vote for Jeb

          You and I both know where he lives and who he is.

          • I don’t know. Did you know the current problems Lake Erie is having? I believe it takes someone who lives close to know about it….

          • Vote for Jeb

            Haha, I was insinuating that Gorak is McNulty. McNulty lives in St. Louis.

          • I know what you were saying! I was just pointing out a reason for why I think they are different ppl.

          • Vote for Jeb

            Ah gotcha.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™


      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        They’re good live though. I saw them with Volbeat in 2014 and enjoyed it.

        • ME GORAK B.C.™

          ME SEEN 10 YEAR AGO!!!!!! IT ROCKED!!!!!!

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            They are good. I’m seeing the Misfits next Sunday hopefully. They’re performing Static Age in full.

          • ME GORAK B.C.™


          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I enjoyed them when I saw them two years ago. There’s 4 local openers for this show.

      • ME GORAK B.C.™

        ME SEEN 10 YEAR AGO!!!!!! IT ROCKED!!!!!!!!!

  • I’m listening to the new Gorod album. They are really good at instruments.

  • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

    “Joey” Thrashnkill?

    Really going for that Brooklyn-based crossover thrash stage name, aren’t we?

  • I back up Karhu. In The Abscence of Light is one of the records of this year that I’ve enjoyed most.

    New Trivium is in my listening queue.

    I wanted to hear 365 recommendation, but the only thing I found was this:

  • Vote for Jeb

    In case y’all haven’t heard Order of Orias, check this. That split has a bit fuller sound.

    • I’m actually not very familiar with this band. I’ll make sure to give this a go sometime. They have the guitarist from Ignivomous which is rad though. That band rips!

    • Phoenix of the House Tendies

      Yeah I have most of their stuff and this song sounds quite more expansive. But there were hints of that on Inverse anyway.

      • Vote for Jeb

        I think this new track is the full realization of what they were trying to do on Inverse.

    • Lacertilian

      That cover looks like the work of the mysterious Metastazis.

  • Also, if you enjoy Akercocke (wtf is wrong with you if you dont) check this out. It’s really goddamn good.


      I just spent $41 on that Antichrist Imperium vinyl….worth every pennt

  • Thoughts? Apparently no one else has it!


    • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

      I hate the fact that they put their shitty state’s shitty shape inside the O.

      • Guppusmaximus

        Considering it looks like someone’s rendition of a torn anus, ‘LOL BUTZ’ might be the perfect license plate for Ohio

        • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

          or “SHIT HOLE”

          • I have seen such animosity for a state.

          • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

            I thoroughly enjoy hating states for no reason and with no provocation.

          • Guppusmaximus

            I’d rather have a license plate that says “Shit Hole” then to live in one like Massatwoshits

          • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

            Assachusetts? That’s right above my shithole state of Connecticunt!

          • Guppusmaximus

            Yea, NE is pretty much a giant fucking armpit

          • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

            Almost the whole US is at this point.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Ya know, I was going to say that in response to your comment below – something to the effect “You must not get the chance very often to hate a state for for no reason and with no provocation because they all pretty much suck”…but I didn’t want to sound like a cynical douche (of which I am)

            Yea, electing another clown isn’t going to fix the fucking problems we have. Even if Sanders gets in there, he’ll just get fucked by the Lobbyists

          • Mvthvr Shvbvbv 8

            On that note, I love the delusional people who think Trump will actually be able to pull off the stuff he’s spouting, and won’t be told “Here’s your agenda. If you have any questions please refer to the point-of-view version of the Zapruder film we gave you.”

      • Iron Spagheti’O Nose Hair Doom

        Sadly, I’ve lived in Cinci.

      • 3leggedDog

        Nvermind politics. Texas. Great place to live. Enjoy all four seasons. Summer and a two month winter.

  • Since Cryptopsy is in the news. I should be getting my vinyl copy of None So Vile in the mail today. In fact it should be sitting on my porch right now.

  • Cryptopsy plays good death metal. I’m gonna rock that shit when it comes out. Liked the last album alot too.

  • I just discovered this.

    how poser am I?

    • Vote for Jeb

      v v

    • Did you have a beer yet? Or are you still hanging in there?

      • How are you coming along? I was telling JJM how I cut back a bit… and how much better I was sleeping/feeling in general.

        • Alright. Sleep has been the opposite for me except for last night which was good. As long as I get some exercise I can fall asleep fine it seems. I was having some pretty horrifying nightmares the first 2 days. After tonight I’ll be 4 days sober.

          • I’m kind of enjoying the weirdness of it. My mind is so used to at least having some alcohol when I get home from work, so when I’m just sitting there drinking water/tea and NOT alcohol, time passes so slowly and I feel so in control. It’s nice

          • Oh yeah. It’s strange. Last night I cleaned my house for 3 hours while listening to records to pass the time. If I just sit down and do nothing the urge is really strong to grab a drink.

          • The hookah is still an issue and roots me to the couch, but its far easier to avoid sober, so I can stay up and productive on laundry/cleaning longer

          • Vote for Jeb

            wait, you trying to get healthier too?

          • Yeah, Tyree was going cold turkey, and i recognized I have some of my own issues, so I figured I’d go at it too

          • Vote for Jeb

            Very commendable, dude.

          • I love beer and will still drink after a couple weeks of this, but I’m not Lemmy and don’t have a liver that can handle enough alcohol to fulfill a third world country’s GDP

          • Vote for Jeb

            I think I’ve mentioned this to you, but I used to be a problem drinker. I recently took one of those quizzes to see where on the alcoholism scale you land, and back when I was drinking a lot, I was at like a 15. An 8 is considered at least problematic if not alcoholic.

            I haven’t been drunk since December 2011, and I’m honestly perfectly happy with that. No more hangovers, black outs, and damaged relationships.

          • I was an impulse spender when I was drunk. I would just buy shit online and not even realize it until the next day. It was depressing. I’m hoping to eliminate that problem by not drinking.

          • Vote for Jeb

            Is that the secret to your bandcamp collection? I’m trying to think if I ever drunk-bought anything. Hmmmm.

          • Unless I am buying alcohol, my wallet is sealed tight when i am drunk. Good quality to have haha

          • My weakness right there. Anyways… Enough from me, I have some shit to finish up here at work.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            “Work?!!Are you out of your mind?!!!!”

          • 75% of the shit I bought on there was a drunk purchase. I’m certain of it.

          • I mean I only had one actual time where the drinking affected me at work, but otherwise it just kind of wasted time at home that I could have used on more productive things. I was pretty functional now, but who knows how much longer that would last?

            Also I can save a lot of money now because not drinking = not buying beer

          • Vote for Jeb

            I buy beer for home maybe once a month. Saves a lot of money.

          • I used to be a little crafty snob and only buy that stuff, but then I slowly turned quantity > quality

          • I’ll tell you what though. Waking up not hungover is fucking amazing! I was never a morning person (Obviously) but now I enjoy the mornings. I was up at 5:30 yesterday and was able to do a bunch of shit before work at 9.

          • I don’t really get hangovers, but it’s been ULTRA noticeable for me too! way more energy!

          • I used to not really either. But, drinking hardcore everyday of your life catches up to you eventually.

          • If i don’t drink any water I will get it BAD, but i chug water at work all day so it’s not even something i have to think about

          • I’m just getting old. I can’t be risking it anymore.

          • I love being able to stay awake all day at work, as well as being able to think clearly. the difference is impressive

          • Agreed!

          • Sounds a bit rough (regarding the sleep). I am sure things will even out given more time.

          • Vote for Jeb

            Exercise always helps me sleep.

          • Yup, I went running for the first time in a month yesterday. My body was fucking not having it. Therefore sleep was very easy.

      • I had a couple with friends the other night during our Pathfinder game, but once they left i went back to water.

    • Gross. This is nearly unlistenable to me. More power to you though haha 🙂

    • Well, I’ve listened this last year…



    • Phoenix of the House Tendies

      Tch. You should’ve been the second person after Dubs singing this bands praises, you posuer.

      CoF are one of the few pure black metal bands that still tickle my fancy.

      • Based Pingu

        You like Cradle of Filth? That’s nasty!


    I forgot how good that Of Feather and Bone was. Tight jamz

    • Been listening to it alot lately, great way to spend 20 minutes.

  • Celtic Frosty

    The first track on that Temple of Baal album is not to be trifled with. I haven’t made it through the whole album yet in one sitting (because it is kinda bloated), but there are some killer tracks on that thing.

    • six months later… what do you think about it? took me a while to get it, and i adore it. Track #2 is where it’s at

  • Phoenix of the House Tendies

    Dolven is some wonderfully gloomy stuff. Hope they make more.

  • Waynecro

    I’m psyched about the new Cryptopsy. I know everyone hates The Unspoken King, but, come on, “Worship Your Demons” shreds. I can’t be the only person willing to admit that. The new Gorod is going to be awesome, and I’m pretty jazzed about the new Panopticon. I have to buy the new So Hideous as well. It’s an expensive week for music.

  • Iron Spagheti’O Nose Hair Doom