Mini-Reviews from Around the Toilet Bowl: 01-14-16

We welcome the new year with a fresh look and the humblest reviews on the face of the Earth.


Teramaze Her Halo
Mascot Records | October 30th, 2015

Ever wish Dream Theater did a whole album eschewing all the boring filler stuff and focusing on writing songs with nothing but amazing, brooding melodies and great guitar riffs? Yeah, I didn’t see that happening anytime soon… but then I found myself face to face with Teramaze‘s Her Halo. Researching this Australian band, it turns out they started out playing thrash and then evolved to a progressive/thrash hybrid very reminiscent of my dear Prototype. Nowadays, armed with the talent of new vocalist Nathan Peachey, they sound more like a midway point between DT and Kamelot, only… consistently good. The real star of the show throughout the album though is guitarist Dean Wells; damn if that man can play the coolest riffs and make them just complex enough to keep things interesting but still really memorable. Prog Metal fans, DO NOT skip this, I need to go spin it again. Listen here and grab here.  — MoshOff


AgelessPowerArisenRide for RevengeAgeless Powers Arise
Bestial Burst | October 8th, 2015

Ride For Revenge has dabbled in bestial black metal madness as well as recorded fifteen minute-long droning, noise-like songs. But Ageless Powers Arise sees neither. While it’s still black metal at heart, doom/sludge keeps dominion here. Songs are extremely bass heavy and plodding, rarely deviating from a mid-tempo and even revisiting “anti-music”, managing to agitate itself into such fervor songs that break into an utter chaos of sounds. Yet, the album never feels very diverse – everything falls into its logical place, and the whole appears almost uniform – though some songs, like “The Hell of Old Testament” and “Pale Is The Moon of Doom” feature, for the lack of a better expression, electronic influences. AGP is Ride For revenge’s most interesting and, quite possibly, best album.  Karhu


bode preto

Bode Preto – Mystic Massacre
Iron Tyrant | January 7th, 2016

I (very) briefly mentioned Bode Preto on TTT, but this album deserves your attention for another time. I previously compared the band to Goat Semen, if they were more thrash-y and frantic. And I’ll hold my ground on that regard. Mystic Massacre is 12 (actual) songs  in little less than 30-minutes. These Brazilian [Oi! – M.O.] Black Goats are fast, brutal and dirty –  to a point where it becomes too much for some. Our friends at AMG noted that there was very little to differentiate the songs from each other, and that is indeed the case. There’s little in the way of dynamics or variation, but while they felt it was a fault, I feel it is the purpose. Mystic Massacre as an album is much (or more) about the experience of listening, the feeling of playing it through. Repetition is an essential part in its construction – in, out, no fucks given. If you can spare a moment and get yourself in the mood, I highly recommend this.  Karhu


Grim Winds Records | December 21st, 2015

Cape of Bats is punk rock at its very core. It is black metal on the surface. And there’s some gothic influence mixed in between. It successfully twists and turns those elements on VIOLENT OCCULTISM while you hardly notice. It is crusty, dirty and ugly in all shapes, sizes and forms. To further complicate matters, they employ some weird hybrid of Type O Negative/Locust keyboard stylings just for flavor. The recording has a genuine shitiness to it that is so repulsive, you will either pledge your allegiance to its unpleasantness or avert your ears in horror of its lo-fi chest thumping. There are no build ups, no breakdowns. Every track just rages like a pack of savages that have rampaged through a local village and laid everything to waste with total disdain for everyone and everything. Cape of Bats takes you on a wild ride of thirteen tracks that live up to the album’s namesake. Ron Deuce


The Afternoon Gentlemen –  S/T
Bones Brigade Records/Dead Heroes | May 27th, 2015

You’d think these lads from the UK would be inviting you over for a spot of tea with a name like The Afternoon Gentlemen. Bar room brawls with broken beer bottles is the more appropriate description when it comes to the grinding powerviolence that the band delivers over the course of sixteen tracks on this album. Vocals range from Jon Chang-esque screams over the blast beats to mongo stomp grunts over the hardcore aspects of their sound which rips many a page from the NYHC playbook. TAG pulls it off by multitasking between the two genres within their short bursts of volatile meanstreaks. All of it is delivered with precise musicianship that is tighter than J-Lo’s backside [wat the h*ck is a jlo u must be rly old lol haha – M.O.] as the group doles out healthy doses of concentrated blast beats and a fist-flinging moshability. Ron Deuce


Terror Legion of Gore EP
Hell’s Headbangers | January 1st, 2016

Not to be confused with Scott Vogel’s hardcore unit, this Terror has actually been around for quite a time longer than their more famous name doppelganger [ALWAYS THE HARD WAY – M.O.]. Their new EP Legion of Gore is their first studio recording in 20 years, and while I’d never say two songs are worth a decade wait each, they ARE pretty damn good slices of deathrash. Riffs bob and weave from fasten-your-seatbelt thrash to more measured and pounding death. The vocals leave a bit to be desired, but having been raised in a world where the standard vocals for this genre are more akin to Sadistic Ritual or Mortal Scepter, that’s more taste than some kind of legitimate failure. If you want to get your 2016 off to a deathrashin’ start, this EP ain’t a bad way to do it. — Leif B. Eriksson


Oxygen Destroyer OD Demo 1
Independent | December 3rd, 2015

The guitars ring out with tremolo-dominated thrash furor, a really good riff occasionally shooting out with the speed and deadliness of King Ghidorah’s lightning, such as the opening riff to “Summoning the Moth of Divinity”, or manifesting as a slow city-crushing stomp like the middle part of “Atomic Breath”. The bass is almost as non-existent as fans like to believe the 97 live-action movie is. The drums are slightly sloppy but done well enough. And front-man Jordan Farrow exhibits a fairly commanding monster snarl. Overall this 4 song demo, released last month, doesn’t hide that it’s a demo but is still serviceable. So why am I even reviewing this you ask? Because I am absolutely stoked about the existence of a kaiju themed death-thrash band, let alone one who named themselves after the weapon the government used to kill the OG King of the Monsters [W. – I’m sold]. So you can be certain I will keep an eye on this trio from Seattle to see what audio behemoth they can unleash from the depths of the sea on future releases. Simon Phoenix


  • “Ever wish Dream Theater did a whole album” No.

    • MoshOff

      Lucky you, because they’re about to drop an EPIC

      …piece of “huh”.

    • RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan2


      i really wanna no what u guys listen to because any band that anyone brings up u rip on avenged sevenfold, dream theater, and atreyu, idk whats wrong w atreyu, their new album isnt exaclty my kind of music, but i saw them 2 days ago in concert and they were great, also, avenged sevenfold put out a great album called nightmare, it was a wide vairety of songs and doesnt scream? does that make it bad cause idk what makes it bad, i guess having one of the best drummers, guitarist duos and singers of the past 10 years arent good enough for you? and dream theater is a fucking awesome band , and the most talented band u will find bar none , fuck all of u , this website is a bunch of haters

      -Dudeski , 1 Year Ago

      • This is the most eerily relevant reposted comment this site has ever seen.

        • We’re a bunch of h8ers sk8ers r8ers 8/8 m8 🙁

        • If I was to speculate, I would guess that Paris is the mostly likely candidate for our Reposted commenter.

          my 2cents.

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      Things you’ll never wish:
      1. Trump runs for a second term.
      2. Mgla opening up for LOG on tour in 2016.
      3. ToVH merges with Metal Sucks.
      4. ToVH releases a CHAPO style shirt.

      Feel free to chime in, these three just jumped out at me.

      • Mgla opening up for LOG


        • CyberneticOrganism

          When baggy camo shorts met battle vests…

        • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff


      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        I really am a lifelover. Shock and horror ensues…….

        • Oh, you shut your filthy hole.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Back and forth forever.

        • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

          C’mon now, there’s no life love in you. Nooooo way….

      • I think a TovH El Chapo shirt would be dope. You might be on to something here.

        • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

          Id prob get one…lol.

    • I like Yes, King Crimson, and Opeth, but I’ve never been able to stomach Dream Theater.

      • RUSH

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        That’s because they’re poopy.

        • Yep, best explanation I can think of.

          • Bunch of try-hards that like to show off there music theory knowledge. All of their shit sounds forced. Poop indeed.

          • from what i’ve heard, this band doesn’t know how to construct a long song. they could learn a thing from bands like Rush in that regard.

          • Or just stop.

          • All the ability in the world doesn’t mean shit if you can’t write good songs that stick with the listener.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Even I hate DT and I like a lot of bad prog.

    • Óðinn

      Agreed. Blind Guardian too.

    • Ted Nü-Djent ™

      Oh ye of little Faythe

  • Sweet artwork for Ride by Revenge.

  • That Ride for Revenge LP is on my infinite list of albums to acquire. Good description of the band too. They took the Triumph of Death formula and made it even heavier and filthier sounding. People give the band some grief because of the Goatmoon affiliation but whatever.

  • Been meaning to check that Bode Preto album out. I liked what I heard the last time it was brought up here. The artwork looks like something Grand Belial’s Key would use for one of their albums. Just apply some corpse paint and it would be 😉

    • MoshOff

      I thought exactly the same thing about GBK when I saw it.

    • RJA

      I just went and checked it out. I like it pretty alright BUT, I could have swore it said $14 on the digital album.

      • It’s nothing mind blowing, but it’s mean and to the point. $14 is absurd though for digital.

        • RJA

          Yea, I mean there is a good chance at $4 I would have bought it.

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          P sure label has the physical for less.

  • Waynecro

    I am fully on board with The Afternoon Gentlemen. Those chaps bring all the lumps to teatime, if you know what I mean.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    So fresh, so humble #fresh #humble

  • Do I have to defend J-Lo’s butt piece now? It’s a modern art masterpiece.

    • He’s calling you old, dawg.

      • Well I will be 40 next month.

        • Time to hang it up!

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            Wtf dude you can’t just tell people to kill themselves


          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I don’t take orders from characters from shitty prog metal albums!



          • Boss the Stoutdrinker Ross

            Well, you sure are getting into character.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I need you to shove that scepter wayyyyyyyyy up your ass.


          • Sir Tapir The Based
          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Really GL? Why would you change your name to something off the shittiest rock opera ever?


          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’m not a number I’m a free man!



          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            I have the same outfit as Nicko, true story.

          • PROOF OR GTFO

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            I said this on the internet. It has to be true.



          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Ditto for Ohio.


          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            ‘Til my last cunting day on this wretched rock.


          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            I am become death.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’ve been Running Free since I was born. I’m my own man, not a servant.

          • Sir Tapir The Based

            I’m psure you ain’t free. Not with that big ball and chain you call Catholicism.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            No comment.

          • Sir Tapir The Based
          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            It’s your opinion.

          • Vault Dweller

            That’s some VICIOUS Tapir commenting right there, who knew Tapirs instinctively rip out the jugular?

        • Dang! Had no idea. You’re looking pretty good for an old man.

          • Thanks, semi taking care of my health does wonders!

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Although, after all these years tight might not be the most describing word.

      • Would motorboat or get motorboated by that butt/10.

    • Scrimm

      Dat new Disqus name and avatar>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • Stanley

    Oxygen Destroyer would be much better if they turned up the treble a little more.

  • pïgchop™

    David Bowie tells the story of being lost in an Indonesian jungle.

  • sweetooth0

    Bode Preto reminds a bit of oldschool Impaled Nazarene, which to me is always a good thing to be reminded of.

  • OldMetalHead

    The lead singer of Teramaze reminds me of M. Shadows during the slow parts.