Ce-le-brate good times, come on!
It’s that time of year again. With the warmer weather comes all sorts of formal parties, receptions, gatherings, get-togethers, hootenanies, wingdings, and super fancy chili cook-offs. Weddings and proms are the big ones, but there are also graduation parties, bar & bat mitzvahs, christenings, Sweet sixteens, quinceañeras, and all sorts of stuff where you have to dress up and not talk about “staying tech” for more than an hour.
Now I know the thought of peeling off your battle vest, you know the one with the ultra rare Venom patch on it that you bought from the guy at the flea market who kept talking to you about the time he saw Odin on the Strip back in ’88, and putting on fancy clothes is scary. Even more terrifying is the thought that you may actually have to slow dance with someone. Gasp! The horror! Human contact? Manners? Formal Wear? That’s not metal! Your cred is going out the window faster than that time you accidentally admitted to going to Warped Tour when you were in high school. Whatever will you do?
Luckily, there are some pretty good songs out there by some heavier bands that would be perfect for weddings and proms. Hold your sweetie close and whisk them off their feet to the sweet sounds of these slow dance jams.
Mr. Bungle – Pink Cigarette
Mr. Bungle – Retrovertigo
Mike Patton – Mondo Cane concert
Opeth – Ending Credits
Misfits – Saturday Night
The Loveless – Love Entombed
My Dying Bride – Two Winters
The Devin Townsend Project – Feather
Devin Townsend Band – Sunday Afternoon
Shades Apart – One Starry Night
Yngwie Malmsteen – Blue
recommended by TovH writer Lacertilian. Frilly shirt optional.
[Lizard Note: bad karate kicks in testicle constricting black leather pants are mandatory]
Type O Negative – Haunted
recommended by TovH writers Richter and CyberneticOrganism. Make Peter proud.
Suburban Tribe – Now And Ever After
recommended by TovH writer Karhu.
Now it’s your turn. Post your favorite metal waltzes, 3/4 time signatures, and all-around slow jams in the comments section below.