Metal Music still has an unaddressed Unaddressed Problems problem

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There is a very serious AIDS that is slowly AIDSing the metal community and that AIDS is the continued expression of the bipartisan political internet social team that I decided not to choose these last several years… AIDS.

Did you just laugh at my humorous use of the term AIDS? Doesn’t matter if you did or not. Your complacency or offense taken over my satirical use of the satirical use of the humorous use of the term AIDS makes you a Nazi Fascist Socialist Libtard Nationalist Sexist Misogynist SJW Rape Apologist Homosapien Neckbeard White Black Supremacist Cuck Unwoke Racist MAGA ANTIFA Alt-Right Alt-Left Alt-Up Alt-Down Ctrl Alt Delete fedora vape nation MRA feminist LBGTQ tumblrina open borders Muslim Jew Atheist snowflake Millennial BLM ALM EDM BDSM Marxist brony Phil Anselmo who needs to thicken your skin with true tolerance.

My Death Metal blog takes the term “white genocide” literally and reports accordingly. Consult the word salad above for how I typically tag these posts.

Did you just talk back to me? I have an illustrated diagram of logical fallacies perpetually ready in my Google Chrome tabs and you better believe I’m not afraid to use it. (Although No True Scotsman would ever use Google Chrome.) However, if you point out my logical fallacies simply for the sake of pointing out my logical fallacies then you are committing a Fallacy Fallacy which is in and of itself, a logical fallacy, and if I pointed that out to you, I would myself be committing a logical fallacy known as a Fallacy Fallacy. Therefore, all logic and debate is dead. Which is a Black and White logical fallacy. Nice job owning yourself there, sorry about your cognitive dissonance. Stay in your lane, or I will assume you become aroused watching other people having sex with your significant other. It’s not an Ad Hominem if it’s true. I think.

I assure you,  I am subscribed to a variety of YouTube channels that only publish cringe compilations of white women with the line of political views I’m not willing to hear out.

I earnestly believe that all and any political discourse should exist on a social media platform where a complete, educated thought on any given political stance must be 140 characters or less. I also think that if you share any of these thoughts on said social media platform, you should be harshly reminded to stick to your current type of employment or renowned talent outside of political opinion. If you look at all the profile photos of one political-leaning group versus another political-leaning group, one of those groups will have a disproportionate amount of upshot from the chest underchin stare down carseat selfies compared to the other. I am just saying.

Trump won. Trump lost. Trump would’ve won more if it wasn’t for the alternative facts about his winning and actually losing in Fake News. Trump is not my president and he is my president. Trump is the best kind of president because he is the worst president ever. Trump is not a president we need but the president we deserve right now. Trump drained the swamp by filling the swamp with swamp that will drain the swamp with more swamp. Get over it.

Metal journalists brought this political war to metal journalism and I am finishing it. Two words, okay? KIM. KELLY. Her name appears quite frequently in the tags of my death metal blog posts where instead of writing about metal, I feel my freedom to use naughty language is in constant jeopardy at the hands of the fascist college campus kid regime. Metal bands should not find merit and promotion from diversity; whether it be black members, female members, gay members, trans members, female black gay trans members, or Myrkur. None of that matters. Metal is measured by guitar solos and guitar solos don’t see color. Unless that color is black, but not black like African, Jamaican or Haitian or Obama country, but black as in Black Metal and there are no guitar solos in true Black Metal. Guitar solos are for poseurs.

I one time read a Neill Jameson article and I was this close to agreeing with him implicitly based on his use of the term “fuck”. That was a close call, to say the least. But the reason any of you shit talk or bully metal women so much must be because you’re angry they won’t fuck you. Which not-even-in-an-all-that round-about-sort-of-way makes clear that a metal woman’s only worth is for fucking, and the reason I find any of them agreeable at all is I feel like I have a pretty good chance at a few. Or maybe just one who’s really sweet that I can binge watch TV at home with and expect to sit in the back of all my band’s bar shows. Metal women BELONG HERE. If I really drive that point home, I’m confident that one of the women with dark eye makeup whose selfies I diligently double-tap the first few seconds of being uploaded, will finally reciprocate my feelings of unconditional love after seeing what’s been in front of them all along. I need any leverage I can over get over the 1 of 1124 guys who’s Instagram profiles I hate-stalk for also hearting the selfies of anyone of my selection of true internet loves. What was I talking about? Whatever it was, it was probably Kim Kelly’s fucking fault.

Axl. Fucking. Rosenberg. Don’t get me started on that guy. That guy is the most guy that ever guy’d.

Do you remember when Metal Sucks used to — you know — be about METAL?! Now all they talk about shit like Inquisition, Graveland, Destroyer 666, Phil Anselmo, Marduk and whatever they feel like. Metal Sucks? More like — uh — Metal BUCKS. For all the ad revenue they get for… You know. Clicks and shit.

I tell people every day that metal has an unaddressed Nazi problem. It’s a point I make every other tweet. I can’t remember the last time I took a day off from passive aggressively telling the void instead of the people I have in mind that you can’t listen to Burzum and be an ally at the same time. The next contrarian who tells me they are able to separate the artist from the art is gonna get punched out like the Nazi that they are. I mean, not by me, because I don’t want to get in trouble. I have a car and a job. Nor have I ever really been in any sort of physical altercation — you know — since I balled up and aggroed that smug cunt Jeremy Peterson in the 6th grade. But what I will do is retweet that video of Thor Harris’ punch-a-Nazi tutorial video so that you get the message. I won’t @ you with it, I’m sure I don’t need to. You know what the fuck is up.

The point is I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t on Twitter demanding the unaddressed Nazi problem in metal be addressed. But when some online multimedia blog that isn’t majorly about metal brings up how it’s not addressed, you better be sure I’m gonna be the first to tell them to fuck off. I’m gonna tell them this as if I was being helpful. What about the good things in metal, huh? What about all the diversity, non-Nazis and groups of young white guys doing a consistently bang-up job? If Power Trip aren’t Nazis, then nobody in metal who matters are Nazis. So who cares? Buncha pessimist judgy outsider double-cuck hipster trashbags thinking they can state the obvious in MY genre of choice. If we stopped addressing the unaddressed problems of Nazis in metal, and started addressing the not-addressed-enough problem of all these other unaddressed problems in metal, I think it would be well worth a lot more of your fucking time.

That’s what happens when you give out participation trophies to any little dork who sucks at soccer. They grow up thinking they’re a special beautiful butterfly that can just report on any musical genre they want. How about you stick to reviewing indie films and let the experts handle this, okay? As someone who hand-selected a metal genre built by white supremacists as one of my very favorites, I’ll be the one who gets to complain about all these white supremacists still in the genre.

It doesn’t take that much time to find out if a band you’re listening to has NSBM ties. That’s what Google is for, dipshits. Google the band, click on the first web forum discussion result you can find. Does the first person you find to speak favorably of them sound like a numpty and have a stupid screen name? Case closed. Move on. Nazis are all dummies, so it’s perfectly reasonable to assume here that dummies are Nazis. Hate is rooted in Ignorance and Ignorance is rooted in being stupid as shit.

If there is no information or direct-from-the-source statements regarding whether any given metal act is or is not Nazi-affiliated, then it is perfectly safe and reasonable to assume the band must be Nazis

Anyway, Metal music still — STILL— has an unaddressed Nazi problem. Even though I just said something about it.

 

  • tigeraid

    This article gave me AIDS.

    But I’ll agree with this statement: “If Power Trip aren’t Nazis, then nobody in metal who matters are Nazis. So who cares?”

  • Doom Scientist

    wat

  • Guacamole Jim

    A Nazi Fascist Socialist Libtard Nationalist Sexist Misogynist SJW Rape Apologist Homosapien Neckbeard White Black Supremacist Cuck Unwoke Racist MAGA ANTIFA Alt-Right Alt-Left Alt-Up Alt-Down Ctrl Alt Delete fedora vape nation MRA feminist LBGTQ tumblrina open borders Muslim Jew Atheist snowflake Millennial BLM ALM EDM BDSM Marxist brony Phil Anselmo you say?

    https://31.media.tumblr.com/197b0c13da89cde34140c430e2bc712e/tumblr_inline_nd5tmhq9wR1r2socc.gif

  • Sid Vicious Promos

    This is like something Charlie from It’s Always Sunny would say.

  • RustyShackleford

    This is the finest work of postmodern metal blogging that I have ever seen. All those beta literary cucks like Thomas Pynchon can suck a fat dick. YEP!

  • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ
    • Maik Beninton™

      Ew their mouths are on their necks.

    • anesthesiac

      Read the whole thing. Still not sure what i read though. Well played?

  • Mosh Hoff

    But how can we see if our eyes aren’t real?

    • Rain Poncho W.

      Real eyes realize real lies, Mosh

      • Scrimm

        Embarassed that I got that reference

        • Mosh Hoff

          Oof, JUMPDAFUCKUP with papa Robb

          • Rain Poncho W.

            Also Banky

    • Sid Vicious Promos

      How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren’t real?

  • sweetooth0

    eeehhh….ok?

  • Doom Scientist

    Put the ketamine DOWN and stop pinching from my stash.

  • Elegant Gazing Globe

    Wowzers

  • GL

    “Buncha pessimist judgy outsider double-cuck hipster trashbags thinking they can state the obvious in MY genre of choice” 10/10.

    Great read. I had to read it twice, but it was awesome.

    GL

    • GL

      As a side note, the Toilet is the curator of all the music I listen to outside of my poser bands. So I am glad I have you all on my side.

      • You were one of the original chatterboxes. <3

        • Dental_Damnation

          OG GL

  • IronLawnmower

    Wait do we worship Hitler or not? I’m confused on that part.

  • Waynecro

    I really like USBM band Druid.

    • sopadeloro

      *NSBM

      • Waynecro

        Nuts. That’s what I get for not following the band-Googling procedure the author describes in the article. I have about a terabyte of music, so if I start Googling bands now, I should be done in time for my retirement.

        • *adds music to Waynecro’s collection at a faster rate than he can Google existing ones*

          • Waynecro

            *wants to check out new album*
            *checks Excel spreadsheet to determine whether band is Nazis*
            *band not in spreadsheet*
            *conducts thorough research*
            *dies before hearing a single note*
            *buried with empty Zune*

          • Óðinn

            You need INMDb (Internet Nazi Music Database). Identifies Nazi bands, so you don’t have to listening to them.

          • Sid Vicious Promos

            So you mean Metal Archives?

          • Óðinn

            Kind of, but they don’t always identify racist bands. This calls for a PhotoChop.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc5c92cb956cf6db34c5219c53d8b3de6d2fac9bb3f739e564ef7618ade29953.jpg

        • sopadeloro

          Better safe than sorry.

  • Finally someone had the balls to say it!!!

  • The Tetrachord of Archytas

    This was hilarious

  • Dental_Damnation

    I definitely lol’d clicking the google link. Was this a debut on TovH for you? It’s incredible

    • Yes. Figured I’d make something Joe would never publish as my first go. Oh well. Surprise!

  • Lord of Bork

    #dafuqdidijustread

  • Cockypock Aioli

    fuckin Myrkur haha

  • Señor Jefe El Rossover

    Okay, yes, I see what you did there, I like it, okay, hmmm… yes, okay, gotcha, that’s nice, oh, well, huh, interesting… so you mean, okay, wait, no you didn’t, okay, hmm… yes, i see, well then, i guess that wraps it up.

  • SupremeKrieg

    The fvck?

  • RepostedJoeThrashnkillFan

    “Brenocide just wants you to think he’s a big bearded metal dude. In reality, he waxes his eyebrows at the same place Jose Mangin does.”

    -Joe TnK 2017

    • Óðinn

      In fact, he waxes Jose Mangin’s eyebrows.

      #BrenocideFacts

      Sorry, Brenocide. Just joking.

      • THESE STATEMENTS ARE FALSE JUST LIKE THE METAL YOU LIKE

  • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

    To this day I’m still wondering who named that Carlos guy the “Mexican King Of Metal”, considering I’m far more metal AND far more Mexican than him

    • Rain Poncho W.

      There was a committee meeting. Didn’t you get the memo?

      • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

        I did, but I’m so Mexican and so metal that I ignore every memo that is not written in Spanish and with umlauts in every vowel

    • Maik Beninton™

      His eighth grade colleagues.

      • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

        That’s only if he actually made it to eight grade

    • The second guy in the final photo I featured.

  • Maik Beninton™

    That was everything and nothing at the same time, good job.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Sod it I’m just going to listen to wood.

  • Unspeakable Axe

    My brain feels like it’s leaking out of my head. Which is how it feels after I read any real article or post like this, so mission accomplished!

  • The Mighty Thorange

    “Although No True Scotsman would ever use Google Chrome.” Fight me you bastard.
    In all seriousness though, it was a good read. Once I understood what it was going on about

  • Howard Dean

    Looking for a good time? Have a Bridget Fonda in Jackie Brown gif:

    https://media.giphy.com/media/l41lVJKYobLBEe0X6/giphy.gif

  • GoatForest

    Good to see you writing again, Brenocide.

    • Thanks! I think we both know you’re going to regret that sentiment.

  • James

    cancer.

  • Berit Dogg

    I’m deeply offended at being called a Phil Anselmo.

    • Are you a Phil Anselmo though? Double-check your privilege just to make sure.

      • Berit Dogg

        Not all Marxist bronies are Phil Anselmo! I think.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm
  • Howard Dean

    deathmetal.org >>>>>>>

  • CyberneticOrganism

    WELCOME, BRENOCIDE

    • Same to you. Like, welcome to this. Welcome to me. Welcome.

      Thank you.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        I am welcome to you.

  • Simon PhoenixKing Rising

    Couldn’t have said it better myself. Unless of course you give me a six pack of Southern Tier IPA and mix just the right amount of “seasoning” in my rat burger ground beef.

    • A six pack? You are like a little baby.

      • Simon PhoenixKing Rising

        Ha. Unlike SOME blog writers I like to be not completely shitfaced when I work. How would it look if I’m carrying a dead body back to the hideout and then just randomly puke on it?

  • Sean Wright

    I’m just fucking jealous that I didn’t write something this amazing for my blog.

  • Patrick Bertlein

    I wonder if metalsucks will respond to this.

    It’s good to be aware of nazis and shit like that, but lets be real here, only 5% of the whole black metal scene is even ns. While that does not include all racist people, sure, it does make it clear that this, albeit a problem, is a small one.

    Walknut-Graveforests and their shadows is still the best black metal album of all time, and if listening to it makes you want to kill jews, well, you were probably already pretty fucked up to begin with.

  • Slaves BC

    You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.

  • Demonic Doomsayer

    The Nazis are good and Hitler did nothing wrong.