Metal Blog Spotlight: Heavy Latin

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Latin is a dead language. What better music to employ that dead language than a genre that celebrates death? I recently came across a fellow metal blog called Heavy Latin that periodically highlights use of Latin in heavy metal lyrics and song titles, typically with the intent of poking fun at its misuse. Because, really, Illud Divinum Insanus is a bit too silly not to deride.

Thankfully, unlike this guy who commented on one of Cybro’s old articles, Markheim, the owner of the blog, doesn’t take himself too seriously.

latinman

In the introduction to the blog, Markeim notes that only a small handful of Latin aficionados (read: dweebs) would actually notice any of the errors in the lyrics and song titles. Instead, Markheim hopes to offer helpful translations that may allow you to appreciate the sometimes incorrect wordsmithing used by your favorite artists. Let’s take a look at some examples, shall we?

latin1I guess Il Papa needs to spend a bit more time in the catechism, no?

latin2

Pretty cool that Markheim was able to draw out all those allusions to Roman politics.

latin3

Turns out Anaal Nathrakh are masters of both sword and sorcery films and dead languages. Who’d have guessed.

There are a lot of other excellent posts, including an entire section on Powerwolf. I encourage you to head on over to Heavy Latin and check out all the thoughtful analysis Markheim provides. I, for one, appreciate this contribution to our understanding of this genre we love.

hl

(h/t Pope Guilty on Metafilter)

(Photo VIA)

 

  • Salvador Dalí Lama

    Coincidentally, it’s one of Nathrakh’s most savage songs. The middle section of this song sounds so pissed off.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3Gvijhzp48

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    This was very interesting.

  • Guacamole Jim
    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      This was such a good movie.

      • Lacertilian

        This was is such a good movie.

  • ┼yree
    • ┼yree
    • Celtic Frosty

      Dat Garlic sauce, tho

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        Papa Johns is gross as fuck

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          Bigtime. I have way too many good local pizza options to even consider eating that slop.

        • Growing up we would only have it on very rare occasions. So I always thought it was the “elite” pizza. lol

        • I think just about any local pizzeria is far superior to a franchise one. As a rule I never buy from them and I know I’m supporting a local business by doing so.

    • Salvador Dalí Lama

      …nihil verum nisi mors

    • “Shit Pizza, Shit Ingredients” – Papa John’s. Suck it PayTon.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Papa Cunt

      • ┼yree

        Gold.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      My dad’s friend owns a few Papa Johns down in DC. He said Papa John is a douche of the highest degree.

  • Stanley

    My latin teacher was such a bastard. Any minor infraction would result in making us “ski”. He would make us get in this position and makes us stay like that until he deemed otherwise. If it was a particular heinous offense (like losing your pen), he would up the ante by making you hold your arms in front, parallel to the floor and then placing your schoolbag full of books on top. Some of the girls would be in tears. What a wanker.

    http://www.topendsports.com/testing/images/wall-sit.gif

    • Vote for Jeb

      Did you get spanked by your teachers too?

      • Stanley

        Nope. I got the cane once (which is getting walked on the palm of your hand with a stick) and some of the teachers were lethal with a board duster.

      • KJM, Shake Zula

        I even got smacked across the face a couple times.

    • Dagon

      Hardcore Latin 202

      • Stanley

        Hardcore Latin 1984.

        • I guess it is assumed that you were not Hot For Teacher?

          • Guacamole Jim

            Maybe he’s a sadist.

          • Possibly… that would surely be a House of Pain!

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Right Now I’m happy I’m not in school anymore.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Even after all this time, I’m still glad that High School is long since over.

          • I guess I cannot call you a Little Dreamer, then….

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Nah, he’s more of an atomic punk…

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            You Really Got Me KJM!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Let’s go get some ice cream, man…

          • KJM, you are ON FIRE!

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Well, fire is what you get when you’re…

            (puts on shades)

            …runnin’ with the devil!

            YEEEEAAAAAAAAHHH!!

          • This is the finest circle jerk I have seen in awhile.

          • good thing JJD’s in here to Balance it all out

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            At least if I go it will be Mine All Mine.

          • Ted Nü-Djent ™

            I bet you got all the pussy

          • Stanley

            Probably. He was alright outside of class. He was also our cricket teacher and as I played cricket, I didn’t get as much shit as everyone else.

          • BobLoblaw
    • Salvador Dalí Lama

      He made you do wall-sits? Was your teacher Joe?

      • Stanley

        Is Joe from the West Indies?

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      That is some hot shit.

      • ┼yree
        • KJM, Shake Zula

          Nice!

        • Stanley

          Once the legs start shaking, that’s the logical conclusion. Go give “skiing” a try and report back in 5 mins on how you got on.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            Went down Waterville Valley’s bunny slope once, never again.

          • did it “shake” you up?

            *my jokes are terrible*

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            (triple Picard facepalm)

          • Vote for Jeb

            We would do wall sits a lot during soccer to show off to the volleyball girls.

            High school is stupid.

          • Stanley

            Do you remember how long you could hold the pose for?

          • Vote for Jeb

            I’ve got no idea. I was very thin then and ran all the time, so I’m certain it was longer than I could now.

          • We need quantifiable data, W. Come on

          • Stanley

            You and Tyree should have a ski-off.

          • Vote for Jeb

            Let’s all do it over lunch and report back on the next thread.

          • Make sure to do it before you eat lunch. The added moment due to the increase in mass in your stomach region (created about your knees) will surely hurt your time.

          • Vote for Jeb

            You ever tried explaining a moment to a non-engineer?

          • Not that I remember…. the closest thing was probably my dad. Instead of explaining I just ended up saying “Trust me. I know what I am talking about. Do it this way”

          • Vote for Jeb

            You see, if you apply a load here…

          • … then you can visualize the direction of the moment by curling you hand in the direction of the load and seeing which direction your thumb points!

          • Vote for Jeb

            *blank stares*

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            Huh, I was in physics today doing an experiment involving stretching a wire with weights to measure its Young Modulus. I asked the teacher what we were tuning the wire to and all I got was a blank look.

          • Nice, what are you in school for? I did Mechanical Engineer for undergrad and graduate school.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            We call it sixth form over here, it’s sort of a bridge between high school and university. I’m doing Maths, Further maths, physics and history.

          • Excellent! Let us know how you are coming along, from time to time.

          • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

            Misread that as ‘skeet-off’.

          • (he’s still doing it)

          • Stanley
          • Vote for Jeb

            Those calves need to be trimmed.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            God damn, you gotta stop posting all this hot ass shit.

          • BEARD-SPLITTER

            Steroids are awesome

          • Stanley

            I liked high school. We had none of that bullshit that goes on American schools with one-upmanship. Made a lot of good friends for life.

          • Vote for Jeb

            I’m still close to some of my high school friends, but I think that had more to do with the fact that I’ve known many of them since elementary school and because we had a very small school.

          • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

            Only person I’m friends with from my school days is the guy who got me into death metal 20 years ago.

          • CyberneticOrganism
          • ┼yree

            I’ll try it at home. Sounds dangerous at work.

          • Stanley

            All you need is a wall. And a bag of books. Get to it!

          • ┼yree

            Christ! Ok. I said later damnit!!! I have done these before and I know they do suck.

          • Waynecro

            I used to have to do “skiing” a lot when I was taking martial-arts classes. We also had to do forehead planks as punishment for fucking up or whatever. It all seems awfully sadistic when you’re 10 years old.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          God damn it, you’re a fucking genius. Hot shits all around!

    • ProfoundHatred

      I had a crazy priest for a Latin teacher. He would tell us hunting stories about stomping geese to death. Never verified, but there was a story that he brought in a deer head and put it on a vegetarian girl’s desk. He was bipolar and started crying one day about how he was a failure as a teacher. Shit was bonkers.

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      My dad had to do that when he was in catholic school. They called it the Chinese Torture.

    • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

      I had to do that shit in military school, though they called it Chinese TV. Fucking shit, it hurts after about 30 seconds!

    • tertius_decimus

      If this could’ve happen in CIS countries, this teacher would have ended in the thrash bin beaten up beyond recognition.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Well, well, well, look what was released 20 years ago today.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6G9tEqqMqnw

    • Vote for Jeb

      365 Days of Chaos beat you to the draw on the last post.

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Oh, no shit? Well, fuck that!

        • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

          Look at him, kids! Point at him and laugh at his pain and failure!

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Those children are all dicks.

          • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

            Probably not nearly as cruel as me and my classmates at that age.

    • Salvador Dalí Lama

      Alius iam missae hoc , homo vestris fraudulentiis!

  • Dagon

    This is pretty cool, actually. Latin may be a dead language, but it’s still badass.

  • ┼yree

    “Klaatu Barada N… Necktie… Neckturn… Nickel… It’s an “N” word, it’s definitely an “N” word! Klaatu… Barada… N…”

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/zgvXtexdgAM/maxresdefault.jpg

    • BobLoblaw

      Beat me to it, damnit!

      • As a man of the law, you should challenge the law!

        • BobLoblaw

          It’s a repeating gitbox made in 1870, used in the American West. Out there, guitars like this didn’t enforce the law, they were the law. I didn’t write that, it was on some asshole’s website. I wish I’d written it. It’s a good line.

  • Eliza

    Latin is such a hard language to learn. Still, it’s one of my favourite subjects at school.

    • Guacamole Jim

      I took it for a year in university, and absolutely loved it.

      • Vote for Jeb

        My main exposure was a language arts class in high school, but it was helpful.

      • Eliza

        It’s a beautiful language. And besides that, learning foreign languages is what I’m best at.

        • What others do you know?

          • Eliza

            Romanian is my first language and I am learning English, German, Latin and Chinese.

          • Are you learning them are part of a degree you are obtaining? Or just for personal interest?

          • Eliza

            Both.

          • That is awesome, Eliza. Props to you!

          • Eliza

            Thanks!

          • Stanley

            I’m so jealous. There are plenty of skills that I do not possess (more than I actually possess), but if there were one that I could magically obtain, it would be “aptitude for languages”.

          • Eliza

            All you need to do is work hard and get enjoyment out of what you do.

          • My wife is Chinese and I have learned little from her. I know how to say “I Love You” and that’s about it.

          • Eliza

            How cute!

        • KJM, Shake Zula

          Ugh, I’m lucky if I can speak coherent English 1/2 the time, and it’s my first language!

          • Eliza

            That’s just not your string point then. There must be something else that you’re good at.

          • KJM, Shake Zula

            I’m just joking for dramatic effect.

    • Hi, welcome to the Toilet. Out of curiosity, have you been given the No Anime schtick yet?

      • I think avatars are off limits. Eliza is ptrill, Gurp!

        • Vote for Jeb

          And she obeys the rules.

          • BobLoblaw

            Rules Tony?

          • Lacertilian

            NO ANIME Bob.

          • BobLoblaw

            That seems like a challenge more than a statement.

          • Lacertilian

            Where’s @CyberneticOrganism:disqus and his rules .jpg dammit?

          • JWEG
        • Ah, cool. Hope Eliza can stay.

      • Eliza

        I noticed it, but I don’t really mind it. I like watching anime, but, compared to most anime fans, I don’t watch as much.

        • Maik Beninton™

          Tbh, I don’t watch anime anymore, it used to be a hobby not long ago, but I don’t have much time to spend on it, the only thing I do now is follow manga series that I started before.

          • Eliza

            I watch one or two episodes a day, when I feel like it or have the time. What manga do you read?

          • Maik Beninton™

            One Piece, Fairy Tail, Bleach, Kuroshitsuji, Attack on Titans and Gintama.

          • Eliza

            I see. I like Bleach and Kuroshitsuji too.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
  • Fine Sexy Ladies

    Has Heavy Latin ever examined Abyssal’s use of Latin in their song titles and lyrics? If for nothing else, I’d like to know just what the fuck “Antikatastaseis” is supposed to mean.

    • Vote for Jeb

      I don’t see it 🙁

      • Fine Sexy Ladies

        Well, I’ll just have to contact them and see if they would translate.

        • Stanley

          That’s probably Greek but I’m no linguist.

          • Fine Sexy Ladies

            Greek, Latin; Potato, Potato. Except not really.

    • hey d00d, what’s your opinion on their other albums?

      • Fine Sexy Ladies

        I enjoy their other albums. If I had to rank them:

        1) Antikatastaseis
        2) Denouement
        3) Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius

        Novit is a bit of an ordeal to listen to for more than a few consecutive songs, just with how oppressive the atmosphere on those songs are. Denouement has a lot really interesting melodies that contrast with the overall bleakness of the album as a whole that I really appreciated.

        • thanks man! agree about Novit

        • RJA

          that would be the correct order

    • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril

      Ummmmmmmmmm, Anti-Cat Tasties?

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      Sounds like Greek rather than Latin to me. Boned if I know what it means though, haven’t studied it for years.

    • Count_Breznak

      Graecvli.

  • A Chili Dog In Each Nostril
  • tertius_decimus

    Turlet, please, say something good to me. Even one good word would be enough. 🙁

    I’ve lost my girlfrend today. She decided to part our ways.

    • Vote for Jeb

      I’m so sorry, friend.

    • BEARD-SPLITTER

      Sounds like youve been having a rough time lately, man.

      Shit will work out in the end, as it usually does. Sometimes just takes longer than others.

      • tertius_decimus

        Thank you.

    • Love is a crazy thing. If she wronged you in any way, I recommend going to her place and doing this.
      http://www.gifwave.com/media/116250_dave-chappelle-rick-james.gif

    • Someone who doesn’t want to spend all of his or her days with you, through all of your good points and bad points, is not someone that is worth staying with. Finding someone who you can relate too, through the good and the bad, is the only person worth having. I am certain that you will find someone of this standard if you keep searching, TD.

      • tertius_decimus

        I thought she was exactly the person you describe, but when I trapped in the shit again, she senteced that I’m bad-thinking dude and she tired of my pessimistic mind. I have always been beside her at her bad moments in life…

    • the universe has a way of course-correcting. you’re a good guy and good things will come your way, even though it doesn’t seem so at the moment. stick around here for free therapy 😉

      • tertius_decimus

        Thanks, mr. McNulty, much appreciated!

    • Furthermore, if the person you were with was not willing to work through the ins and outs of being in a relationship with you, then that person doesn’t sound like the right person to be with. This obviously does not make what you are feeling right now any better, but in the end it better than you find someone that you can fight for!

      • tertius_decimus

        Thank you.

    • BobLoblaw

      Money. Over. Erything.

      • BEARD-SPLITTER

        Truth

        • BobLoblaw

          “1”

    • BobLoblaw

      Throwing it out there again but it always brightens my mood.
      https://youtu.be/_km-IYnrV6Q

      • Guppusmaximus
        • BobLoblaw

          Superior audio, enferior video.

          • Guppusmaximus

            So true… The way they covered Testament is what reminded me of the song I posted. Yup, nothing beats Panama even if it’s not the original audio track.

          • BobLoblaw

            Check out Vomitron as i have now done with Defiance. Mortal wombat, the long distance ejaculator and their ghostbusters rendition are superb.

    • Waynecro

      I know those feels, dude. My girlfriend of nearly eight years left me recently. Just keep hanging in there. Find other things to focus on.

      • tertius_decimus

        Shakes hands.

    • Guppusmaximus

      Life’s too short to stay bummed over a chick that doesn’t want to stick it out with you. Sometimes it’s better to part ways that way you can sample all the other fine fish in the sea. Just wrap that rascal!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9_v-DyUIKA
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBZyscacGJs

    • /VenezuelanHugs

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Desideratum is much better than Vanitas.

  • Waynecro

    Dude, thank you! I’ve been interested in something like this for a long time. I love Latin, but I’m terrible at it.