Members of ACCEPT & DESTRUCTION Launch PANZER

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STOP FUCKING YELLING INTO MY EAAAAAARS!

Supergroups are at an immediate advantage for a few reasons. Aside from amassing publicity at the very moment of their inception and effortlessly drawing followers from the fanbases of multiple groups, they can pretty much use any band name that they want to use, regardless of whether or not it’s already taken. This week, three heavy metal legends formed Panzer and inadvertently ruined the lives of nobodies around the globe. It’s sad, but true and sort of hilarious.

Let’s all take a moment to mourn the loss of the 8+ other Panzers listed in the Metal Archives, who now will almost assuredly never amount to anything and kill themselves. From the Tennessee sludge/thrash(?) band with a single 2008 demo to that Spanish one that’s been barely scraping by for over 32 years. None are exempt and courtesy be damned! The real Panzer has arrived.

Panzer logo

Accept veterans Herman Frank (guitar) and Stefan Schwarzmann (drums) are teaming up with Destruction bassist/vocalist Schmier for this German supergroup. They’ve signed to Nuclear Blast and their debut, Send Them All to Hell, is set for release on November 28.

Schmier is confident: “If you are a metalhead, you will love Panzer — I’m a 100% sure about it.”

Are you a metalhead? Listen to the first album trailer and find out.

It’s not a lot to go on, but what do you think of this?

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  • Metaphysical Anus

    I think it’s decent. Pretty boring, but not bad. The end result may be better.

    • Xan

      We’ve all been living a lie.

  • Definition of lolbuttz.

  • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

    New Accept was good so this doesn’t seem to have disturbed that too much. Newest Destruction wasn’t that good so maybe this’ll be better. I hope it’s gonna be better than the snippet though

    • Yeah I’m hoping this ends up reflecting Accept way more than Destruction. Blind Rage was pretty good.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

        I wouldn’t mind at all if it channeled some good ole’ Destruction. Maybe Eternal Devastation era, but hearing this I think that’s way too much hoped

      • Xan

        I like most of the German thrash bands but Destruction never did anything for me. The first few albums were decent but everything since has been a big ‘ole MEH.

        • There is only Kreator.

          • TheCheezFace .

            Hey, there’s Sodom too. Haven’t heard their recent albums though.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

            Aren’t you forgetting Tankard

          • Hail and Kill

            Pizza Cake!

          • Between The Buried & Smee

            Isn’t everybody?

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      Accept are putting out their best music since metal heart. Russian roulette and everything before tornillo joined was weak. As soon as Tornillo joins they are back on top, UDO must have been a real drag on band morale or something. Let’s face it, mark is a dead ringer for prime UDO. And now he gets his big break at 50 years of age. To me that’s just a great story.

  • Tyree

    “If you are a metalhead you will love PANZER, I am 100% sure about it!” (SCHMIER) LOLZ!

    • I guess I don’t like metal after all.

      • Tyree

        I just pretended to like it.

        • Xan

          We’ve tricked them all!

      • I have a feeling that, by these standards, the number of metalheads is in the world is going to be significantly decreased.

        • IronLawnmower

          Eh metal is a dead genre for neckbeards anyway.

  • Scrimm

    I’m not metal then. Don’t like Schmier.

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      look no further for panzer related music.

  • “if you like one band that sounds exactly like another band, you’ll LOVE it when members of the first band join up with members of the second!!!”

    • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

      And sounds like a watered down version of the first!

      • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

        Wovenwar?

        • ;(

          GL

        • Nordling Rites Ov Karhu

          Yup, it’s a trend now

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      You are living up to your middle name, i am extremely rustled about this sarcastic statement. Not near as rustled as i am with manson’s performance on SOA though.

      • not sarcasm! to me, most thrash bands like these are identical. you might feel this way about tech death or deathcore.

        • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

          ahhh, i see, i was joking of course except for the SOA part.

  • Imma just leave this ‘ere:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBD_RjuKJYU

    • Tyree

      I was wondering how long it would take for some one to post this band. Fucking Brutal!

    • It’s pretty good but I prefer
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=170eyPKa9aE

      • Rob M

        How this series hasnt been brought back yet, I’ll never know

        • It has a spiritual successor called Crimson Dragoon on Xbox One but it got panned by critics. Apparently wasn’t too great.

          • Rob M

            Not surprising…I guess rail shooters, as a genre, are pretty dead at this point. Just not much you can really do with them anymore.

          • I’m holding out hope for Pokemon Snap 2: The Snappening.

          • And after that, I’ll await the Blackfish-esque documentary about the mistreatment of pokemon in these photographic safaris.

          • HA!

          • “Watch as this poor creature is pelted mercilessly with a pester ball until it stumbles backward into a pool of lava.”

            I unironically love that game.

          • I never had an N64 and Pokemon Snap was the game I was always jealous my friends had. I played it every time I got the chance.

        • Dang, I never played this one.

          • First big RPG I ever finished. 4 discs long on the PS1, and full of epicness.

          • Rob M

            It was mostly written off as a FF clone, but its actually a really solid game, with a better combat system

        • Rob M

          Oh hell yeah…absolutely loved playing this game..totally blew all four discs in no time

  • Rob M

    Im cautiously optimistic about this…Destruction has been in a rut for a long time, but maybe working with the guys from Accept will give Schmier a much needed boost of inspiration

    • Exactly. Maybe the troubled lad just needs a good influence to set him straight.

      • Rob M

        ..or you other guys will be right, and it will be a disaster of epic proportions

        …either way Im bringing popcorn

  • Jag Panzerbastard

  • Oh good spanish Panzer, I can smell the cheese coming out of my speakers

  • Cock ov Steele

    Damn, this didn’t sound like was I was hoping.

  • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

    C’mon lads , shit talking Accept AND destruction. These guys have done nothing but drink lava and shit out metal since day one. For shame my friends, for shame. Please turn in your metal passports at the end of the day as you are now banned from future entry to true metal shows. I look somewhat like a combination of the 2 guys in this pic. Would never where tan pants though.

  • crazytaco_12

    This is going to be a huge shit sandwich. Listen to any album of Destruction’s outside of “Release From Agony” and “Cracked Brain” and tell me otherwise.

  • Further Down the Metal Hole

    “If you are a metalhead, you will love Panzer” well duh, I don’t know any tanks that aren’t made of metal!