Make Album Artwork Great Again

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Trumpdown to Extinction.

Artwork for metal albums is in need of a bigly overhaul. Intricate drawings? Tech death bands using the failing color purple? Lame concepts? Weak thoughts and planning? Sad! It’s time to make metal album artwork great again. What better way to do that than by injecting the visage of the man who lost the popular vote by almost 3 million?

Sure, Donald Trump may be historically unpopular and is managing to piss away every last cent this country has but that doesn’t mean the pussy-grabber-in-chief can’t inject a little life into the metal world? I mean, he’s doing wonders for his own family’s careers. Sure, he has a whole bunch of misogynists, racists, fascists and anti-Semites working for and supporting him, but when has that ever stopped the metal world at large from plunking down their money? It’s all about the riffs anyway, amirite? Just take a look at these new and improved album covers for proof? If you disagree, you’re violating my First Amendment rights, you stupid SJW cucksandwich.

Ugh, I feel gross typing all that. Just look at the silly pictures created by ToH writers CyberneticOrganism, Ron Deuce, Lacertilian, Stockhausen and myself. Maybe they’ll make you laugh through all the crippling depression and poverty.

 





 

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  • Howard Dean

    At first I didn’t understand, but now I get it.

    https://i.imgflip.com/1lycsb.jpg

    • Eliza

      This picture makes me feel sad.

      • Howard Dean

        Me too. For some reason the thought of Val Kilmer eating lunch and sipping a Bud Light by himself at some random bistro is pretty sad. There’s some anguish in that face.

        • Óðinn

          He’d be happier if he switched to Miller Lite.

          https://youtu.be/YuSBzEZFcp8

          • Howard Dean

            Drink Miller Lite –> Get attacked and rubbed down by hot lifeguards who want to carry your babies. It’s that simple

          • Óðinn

            Exactly.

        • Eliza

          That forced smile is what kills me.

  • Guacamole Jim

    hahahahahahaahahaha Trump as the little gumby man. Fucking brilliant.

    Also, anyone read his interview with Time? That man is unhinged.

    • Elegant Gazing Globe

      If I were a betting man, I’d have some dollars on him being shown the door before too long

      • Stockhausen

        I dearly, dearly hope so.

    • Holy shit, dude. Reading it right now. “Unhinged” indeed.

  • tigeraid

    There’s really nothing else useful that Trump does, so why not pose for album covers?

    I’d wear that Meshuggah one on a shirt.

    • Depechemodeisgangsta

      I like the Spiritual Healing, is just perfect.

      • GoatForest

        I completely agree. The Anal Cunt one also was very enjoyable.

  • IronLawnmower

    When you use humour to distract from the fact your leader was chosen by Vladimir Putin.

  • GL

    I really hope that Dems win big in 2 years, that way we can all go about trying to live our lives again. Till then, news fatigue is a real thang.

    GL

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      I don’t think it would change much. It’s been over a decade since I could open a newspaper and not read shit about the American president (mind you, I don’t object to having my newspaper partially filled with that) and I live in goddern Europe.

      • GL

        I just want NPR to talk about something else for like… one fucking day. Jesus. JUST ONE DAY

        • Joaquin Stick

          Do you remember a time when you could go a whole day without hearing the president’s name? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
          (Not saying I didn’t like this post, just in general. A+ chops)

          • GL

            I have been listening to NPR for quite awhile, there was a time before the last election cycle that they were really interesting to listen to.

          • GL

            I like listening to both sides of the spectrum (on the radio), that way I can reside (mentally) somewhere in the middle. It is tough to maintain that though!

          • Óðinn

            I could go for a slice of Pepperidge Farm cake, TBH.

            http://gianteagle.com/ProductImages/PRODUCT_NODE_675/51000076267.jpg

          • Howard Dean

            I don’t normally dig a lot of prepackaged cakes like this, but I must admit that their coconut cake is pretty decent.

            https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/96eb9967-5496-43cf-8c4b-a1aca123800f_2.84be805c3c0a8bebbd9e7102e0911a10.jpeg

          • Óðinn

            Me neither. But I do like the Pepperidge Farm cakes for some reason. Haven’t had it in a while. Maybe I’ll pick one up.

          • Doom Scientist

            Me & Mom usually get this kind for our respective birthdays and now none of the nearby stores carry it. I have to keep it in mind whenever I go to a different grocery store.

        • Doom Scientist

          I’ve cut so much news consumption out of my life. I don’t watch or listen to any news shows except the occasional Democracy Now newscast(where they DO talk about different things), and I’ve unfollowed a bazillion Twitter news feeds.
          Perhaps it could be seen as burying my head in the sand a bit, but I’m just so tired of it all…

          • Dumpster Lung

            I get all my news second-hand through the bitching of others on Facebook.

          • Doom Scientist

            I haven’t had an FB account since 2010, no regrets.

          • Dumpster Lung

            I’ve had one since around 2006 or so, maybe? I don’t really remember, but I stopped using it around 2010-2011 and didn’t start using it again regularly until this past December or so.

            I like it well enough now, but I don’t get into political bullshit with people. I mostly use it for the Toilet group, and it’s the only way to keep up with local shows I would otherwise never find (house shows and venues that don’t really have much web presence at all and are easy to forget).

          • GoatForest

            I get that. I’m phrasing out, too.

        • Howard Dean

          This is my second favorite comment of the day (after the Andrew Carnegie one from TDT).

          http://i.imgur.com/8aqMCXL.gif

        • I was just in the car listening to NPR. They were talking about new opera albums. 5 minutes in I wanted Trump talk back.

          • Óðinn

            Yikes! I hope you’re okay, Joe.

          • Howard Dean

            You don’t like opera talk? Are you some kind of uncultured pleb?

          • GoatForest

            I prefer their jazz programming.

          • GL

            Well I will give you that, they do talk about other things sometimes. lol

      • Óðinn

        TBH, this current administration is a pretty big scandal. It should be the biggest in decades, and one of the biggest ever.

        It looks like Putin has been able to do what the Soviet Empire was never able to accomplish, defeat the United States. And he did it by exploiting our own political weaknesses. Our President is beholden President of Russia. We’ve been defeated by cyber-warfare. I saw a story the other day about how the Russians were using Twitter bots to drown out any positive discussion about Clinton by creating a barrage of pro-Trump and anti-Clinton discourse on the internet. The process was automated and very sophisticated.

      • The Mighty Thorange

        Same here. I swear that it sometimes seems like American politics gets covered more than local politics.

  • Depechemodeisgangsta

    I remember that Walmart was selling Brujeria T-shirt online, with the Donald on it, but i think they realized they made a big mistake and then shut it down.

  • Stockhausen

    The Black Cilice one kills me.

    • GL

      but ur already dead. Twice dead, now?

      • Stockhausen

        So hecka twice dead.

        • GL

          OH MY

          • Stockhausen

            OH YOUR

          • GL

            How is your boy doing, bud? Been meaning to ask!

          • Stockhausen

            He’s great! For awhile he didn’t seem much interested in walking, despite ALWAYS moving and climbing on stuff. But he started walking a couple weeks ago, so now life is going to be much more terrifying. How about yours?

          • GL

            Shes is goood. Only taking 2 or three steps then falls/laughs hysterically. Getting there, though! Glad things are well for you all.

          • Stockhausen

            That sounds friggin’ precious.

          • GL

            OH MY GOD DAD IMMA GONNA FALL.
            /FALLS
            HAHAHAHA FUCK THAT WAS GREAT
            /X20 A DAY

  • Óðinn
  • Eliza

    The Scum one fits very​ well. Too well.

    • GoatForest

      Yep. It’s not even an exaggeration.

  • DON CILICE

  • Doom Scientist

    You know what sucks? Having Wo Fat email you personally to tell you they won’t be able to play the Boston area anytime soon. Feh.

  • Óðinn

    These are some nice Photoshops. Thanks, 365.

  • Óðinn

    So this is a thing now. Kid Rock has his own line of grills.

    https://youtu.be/425ywoLJgqA

  • Al Bvndy

    These are all very cool. If I had the technology and skillz, I’d do my own for Sodom – Agent Orange.

  • Max

    It’s amazing how well his visage fits into some of these.