Lunchtime Open Thread

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The cool kid table is full but you can sit with us.

It’s lunchtime, y’all. Is there a jam you’ve been jamming? Does your job suck and everyone needs to know about it? Do you have a good cat video? Share it below!

In the meantime, the first video from the upcoming, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED Belphegor album is out. It’s all bloody n’ stuff. Check it:

(Image Via)

  • Matt Damon

    MATT DAMON

    • Mr. Bojangles

      I will find out who you are. And I will eat your tuna.

      -Mr. Bojangles

      • Joke’s on you because he doesn’t like tuna.

    • JACK BAUER

      • Tyree

        TYREE

        • M SHADOWS

          wait.

          • W.

            MATT DAMON

          • Negrodamus

            NegroW

          • W.

            TYREE HARTSONFIREHEARTSONFIREBURNINGBURNINGWITHDESIRE

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            hammerfall filming a new video that is a tribute to 70’s horror SHOCK WAVES starring the one and only PETER CUSHING.

          • crazytaco_12

            I have Shock Waves on VHS, it’s more of an item I like having than a movie I enjoy. I’m a diehard horror fan, but that movie just wasn’t that great

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            I am glad someone knows it ! I just watched it for the first time on youtube, it wasn’t on there all year but i checked for the hell of it last night and there it was. I was exctied since i had heard good things, plus anything with cushing is usually pretty good. But he had little more than a cameo, he looked pretty sickly too, probably all he could physically handle. The only way to get movies made back then was to sign a star on to it so you could get backing from investors. All i can say is i am glad i didn’t lay out money for a blu ray of it. Another thing, have you ever noticed how trailers for movies in the 70’s were 5 minutes long and often showed KEY scenes and spoilers in them. The last thing i want to be revealed is the best kill scene in the film. But that’s what they did. Old tv shows did it too, like the incredible hulk, rockford files, you name it. At the start of the show someone would say “on tonites episode” and then there would be clips from the upcoming show, i would jump up and change the channel to avoid seeing the spoilers.

          • crazytaco_12

            Yeah dude, Cushing’s definitely got the classic “look” for horror movies (ex. Satanic Rites of Dracula and Horror Express)

          • Mother Shabubu III

            You mean MATT SANDERS?

        • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

          ANN COULTER’S FLACCID PENIS

        • Keegan Lavern Still

          LADIES.

          • Cock of Steele

            AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEarld5TVTo

          • Tyree

            HEY LADIES!

          • KJM

            GET, GET FUNKY

          • Tyree

            COWBELL

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            tenuous link post – guy in the hey ladies video has a whip so ……………………..

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            Riffing on hey ladies, anybody see that incredibly funny show Hello Ladies on HBO by the way ?

          • KJM

            My 43rd birthday(4/14/10) will forever be known as the day Peter Steele died.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      ROWSDOWER

    • KJM

      OOOH-AH-AH-AH-AH

      • Paris Hilton

        Can you feel that? Aw, shit.

    • Stockhausen

      GERMAN DEAD GUY

    • Paris Hilton
      • Tyree

        That’s you!

      • whatever happened to her? she was headed for the top!

        • Paris Hilton

          She is here, speaking to you. She is literally pretending to be a dude who is pretending to be her on a metal blog comments section.

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        now this is pornography ! Joe, paris is showing off her sexy parts to us again !

    • MCNULTY

      GL

    • Ellipsis

  • Now I want some mozzarella sticks.

    • Howard Dean

      I actually had a ridiculously good lunch today. Spicy chipotle wings, an order of burnt ends (the best part of the beef brisket), and coleslaw. My fuck was that a satisfying meal.

  • What’s everyone’s favorite curse word/phrase?

    “Fuck my pussy” is useful in any situation.

    • UnamusedMusician

      “Fuck” makes every phrase sound better.

    • When something really bad happens my first reaction is to yell “SHIT THE BED.”

      • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

        Tool reference? Me likey.

        • Is it?! I had a friend when I was like 8 with a very gruff dad. That was his go to phrase. I guess I just picked it up from there.

          • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

            Here’s the song, but I’m sure they weren’t the ones who created that beautiful string of words.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZXJLQntCP0

          • Steve Smithwick

            10,000 Days caught too much shit. That’s a damn good album. Not the best Tool album, but Rosetta Stoned and Jambi are some of my favorite Tool songs on any album.

          • Cock of Steele

            I’m a sucker for the Pot

          • KJM

            Great bass line.

          • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

            It was actually the first Tool album I ever listened to. I think that’s the reason why it’s pretty much my favorite, but I’m not a big Tool fan anyway.

          • KJM

            Expectations were way too high after Lateralus. Fortunately I knew that an album like that only came once in a band’s lifetime.

          • Gorgasm

            Jambi was awesome, like that squeal midway through the song that leads into that badass riff….man, fucking Tool

        • Tyree

          Goddamn shit the bed!

    • I consider that to be excessive in any situation. “Son of a bitch” is far more universal.
      EDIT: ALMOST* any situation.

    • W.

      I typically just grunt and mutter under my breath. Sometimes it sounds like this:
      http://www.rectified.name/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Wharrgarbl.jpg

      • Mr. Bojangles

        That’s what I remember your state of the unions sounding like.

        -Mr. Bojangles

        • W.

          I had a very poor speech-writer.

          • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

            Yep, and Fox News uses him as one of their “expert consultants” or fuckever.

    • Tyree

      I like KSOFM’s “Cunting Life Lover”.

        • Tyree

          That’s right!

          • Between The Buried & Smee

            The Toilet needs to start selling their own t-shirts

          • Poop Mango

            Just patches would be fine. Metallica’s metal up your ass shirt is basically already a perfect “toilet ov hell” shirt, you could just cover up their name and be good to go.

          • Xan

            I’ve come up with a concept design:

          • Xan

            Fucking photo posted the one I originally thought of until I had the *brilliant* idea to put *flush*.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            The hilarious part is, it’s not even my phrase. I did not come up with it.

          • Tyree

            What!? I heard it first from you though so there is that at least.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            This is true, but before it got too crazy, I did want to clarify. And I will never reveal my source.

          • Tyree

            Good man.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
    • Further Down the Metal Hole

      “For fuck’s sake” is usually my go to phrase, because I’m Scottish and that makes it sound 200% better. “Frr Fock’s sake”

      • A Feed From Cloud Mountain

        I watch a lot of Mock The Week and I always giggle when I see Fred McAuley (and of course Frankie Boyle) are on.

        • Further Down the Metal Hole

          Frankie’s the best, the show’s just not the same without him.

          • A Feed From Cloud Mountain

            At least we still have the old episodes to go back to, plus WILTY and NMTB.

            Idk what it is about English panel shows, but I can’t get enough of them.

    • I like “Shit!”

      • Howard Dean

        Coprophile!

    • Howard Dean

      [while wrenching at the steering wheel]
      “SHIT! FUCK! SHIT! FUCK!”

    • Ryan Cowdy

      “cock!” seems to be my go to these day

      • Howard Dean

        Slut!

        • Ryan Cowdy

          BYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

          • Howard Dean

            m/
            Byyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!
            Dean-Flair ’16

        • Paris Hilton

          Whenever I try to fix something or get something to work I always say shit like “C’mon you dirty fuckin slut work this time!!!”

          • Howard Dean

            Hah! I sometimes do something similar. I’ll be working on the house, using my cordless drill or some shit, and when I fuck up I’ll be like, “Ah! You old whore!”

          • Paris Hilton

            I’ve called inanimate objects a dirty slut or a son of a whore more times than I can count haha

    • Cock of Steele

      That guitar sound they use on Metalocalypse to blur out the swear words

      • Steve Smithwick

        That really is metal as f**k.

    • Keegan Lavern Still

      Along with the classics, I have quite a few that I like to use.
      “Son of a whore”
      “Horseshit” (although I usually pronouncing it as “whoreshit”)
      “Motherfuck”
      “Mothershit”
      “Godmotherfuckingdammit”
      In addition to those, I’ve added phrases using the word “twat” in honor of my twattish housemate for making my living situation difficult for the past year.
      “Twatternut”
      “Twatternutter”
      “Twatbuckler”
      “Twatshit”
      “Twatstain”
      “Twit-twat”
      “Twatter”
      I’m not proud of any of it, but there it is.

      • Steve Smithwick

        No, not at all. Man, I work in an insurance office in Maine, and we have a lot of commercial fishermen and lobstermen as clients. They curse like nobody’s fucking business for real, the sailor stereotypes are true, and occasionally once comes in in the morning and it smells like saltwater and fish corpses in the office for the rest of the day. Then all the rest of us swear all day too, including 50-60 year old ladies.

        • Keegan Lavern Still

          That last sentence gives me the thought of Betty White in the Golden Girls using inconceivably obscene language, and this pleases me. I guess I know what I’m watching when I get home from work!

          • Poop Mango

            Elderly porn?

          • Keegan Lavern Still

            You better believe your fecal hobknobs.

      • Paris Hilton

        “I ain’t a model. I ain’t a saint. I’m sorry I’m just not sorry, cuz I swear and cuz I drink.”

        -Ke$ha

    • Fred Wurst

      Does cumrag count? No cursing in it, but its still pretty vulgar/icky.
      Also, dickweed.

      • Steve Smithwick

        That definitely counts. I almost feel like cumrag is worse than standard ‘curse’ words, because of the very icky connotation you note.

      • W.

        I’m a fan of dillhole.

        • Xan

          I love using dillhole. It is very degrading without being too explicit.

        • Stockhausen

          I am too. Also, dillweed. It’s a real thing, but is also hilarious when you call someone that.

      • Mother Shabubu III

        I prefer a good, vintage dickhead. It rolls of the tongue cloaked in thunderous glory.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVmmYMwFj1I

      • Xan

        Cum fart is a great one too.

    • Gobshite

      Usually a combination of vulgar and ordinary words.

      “BUGGERING FUCKBARROW!” for example.

      • JWG
        • Gobshite

          Iv’e never seen this before, it looks glorious. And he really is a shitrooster.

        • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

          remember that show called good vs evil, and later G vs E. It had a lot of supernatural shit in it, jack black starred in an episode way before he was known. It was 2 detectives who worked for a secret govt. force involving all things that may have something to do with satan or demons. Very cool.

    • JWG

      I’ve taken to self-editing my cursing in public by saying “Stone Farking Wheaton” instead. Also an okay beer, but I’ve had much better.

      …I seemed to have picked that up from the Twitter of a former child actor of some infamy, whose name escapes me. ..

    • Between The Buried & Smee

      I just flip people off as they or I walk away.

    • Gorgasm

      I like calling people “a bag of dicks” or instructing people to “eat a bag of dicks” or anything other action that could be done with “a bag of dicks”

      • Gorgasm

        Fucktard’s a personal favorite too

    • Xan

      I use “fuck my ass”, “shit yeah”, and “cunt off” frequently.

      • Paris Hilton

        1.Jesus Tapdancing Christ
        2. Sweet, salty fuck!
        3. Fuck beans (usually when I’m playin the vidya)
        4. Moose cock
        5. Fuck! I drop F bombs like Trailer Park Boys via growing up in a similar environment haha

        • Further Down the Metal Hole

          That first one is a winner, the mental image it produces is priceless.

    • Mother Shabubu III

      5. Fuckhead
      4. Fucko
      3. Dammit (Not as cool, but I say it frequently)
      2. Cunt
      1. Valueless pissbag

    • Gloryhole Castration

      fuck off you shithorse.

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      this shuts down a troll like a bullet to the head at 10 feet.
      caption on the real meme – “you trolling cunt” I didn’t put it up because the words were too big – NSFW

  • W.

    My wife made awesome homemade pita bread this week. Imma snack on that today.

  • Tyree

    Jamming the new Bastard Feast album while reading a review of the movie “Under the Skin” and eating a ham and cheese sandwich with sour cream Pringles. Fuck Yeah!

    • Steve Smithwick

      Your lunch sounds a tiny bit boring, but your activities sound splendid!

      (sorry, I’m just way over ham and cheese sandwiches!)

      • Tyree

        Gas station food dude. It’s the worst.

        • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

          The only thing worse is those fucking sandwiches from Domino’s. I got food poisoning twice from those fucking things, and I have a friend that got food poisoning so bad he was in the hospital. Never again.

          • Tyree

            That’s naaaasty!

          • W.

            Why on earth would you get a sandwich from Domino’s?

          • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

            Freshman year of college, design school, and weed are a bad combination.

        • Steve Smithwick

          Prison food is MUCH worse than gas station food. Take it from someone who knows: Those shitty microwaveable gas station cheeseburgers you can get at 7-11? Those are sold in the canteen of Florida prisons as LUXURY food that you can buy for like $4.00 a cheeseburger. And people buy the fuck out of them, because it’s so much better tasting/healthier than the slop coming out of the chow hall.

          I’m only fat right now because I got out of prison and ate everything delicious for 13 months straight before I started watching my diet.

          • Xan

            They really needed to call it “Big Az” didn’t they.

          • Steve Smithwick

            They had to, so they could make it abundantly clear that both they (Pierre foods) and the State of Florida hates us with a fiery vengeance.

    • The Black Dahlia Burger

      Under the Skin was like the coolest movie I’ve seen in years.

      • Tyree

        I know right?! I can’t stop think about it. I think I’m going to watch it again tonight.

        • The Black Dahlia Burger

          Scarlett was amazing in it. I just watched this 20ish minute explanation video on youtube a few days ago so I’ve been thinking about it again, and I really love it.

  • UnamusedMusician

    It’s not lunch time yet on the best coast but Google Play does finally have the latest Haken album streaming so I finally get to listen to that. Hooray for fucking small victories.

  • Fred Wurst

    So what’s the deal with this website?

    • Steve Smithwick

      Approximately half of MS’ regular commenters, upset that Vince disabled video embedding, have revolted and made our own place. We write all the articles, and Joe Thrashnkill functions as editor. It’s going great so far! This is week #2, first post went live last Monday.

      • Fred Wurst

        That’s cool. I haven’t been keeping up with metal lately; been into it almost exclusively for like 4 years and am exploring other music, so I haven’t been on Metalsucks and noticed anything with the comments. Looking around this site, it seems to have more music and less rants about Emmure, so that’s a plus.

        • Steve Smithwick

          That was basically the mission; less shitty gossip articles featuring bitching, more articles reflecting on new music. It’s also a fairly open concept, and is not exclusively related to metal, although metal is still the big focus. Welcome to the new digs!

          I noticed you hadn’t been around much; we’re really only missing a couple of the old school regulars like bob.

          Shabubu, King Shit, Tyree, W, TrickleDown, God, The Devil, they’re all around here!

          • W.

            I think someone said bob got doxxed and that’s why he disappeared.

          • Steve Smithwick

            No shit? That sucks. I hadn’t seen that. I used to check out most MS articles, but not all of them, so I still missed shit.

          • W.

            I think it happened while I was traveling earlier this summer.

          • Pagliacci is Kvlt

            Wasn’t he open about the fact that he was a musician and had worked with (and got burned by) Blake Judd though? That right there narrows his identity down to about 100 guys.

          • W.

            Not sure. I didn’t see it all go down.

          • God

            …so does anyone know who he is?

          • Steve Smithwick

            Not me!

          • Negrodamus

            doxxed?

          • W.

            Someone revealed his personal info.

          • Negrodamus

            Ah, never heard that before, thanks.

            EDIT: Facebook kinda did that for a lot of us, it was scary at first lol

          • Negrodamus

            We did that all on Facebook and it was a little scary at first lol

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            yea i had been off the internet for a long time and i had never heard the expressions fap, white knight, or doxxed before.

          • Mother Shabubu III

            bob can fuck off and die.

          • Steve Smithwick

            Daaaaaamn, tell me how you really feel about him!

            Shots fired!

          • OH NO, we’re still missing Dental_Damnation and Cap’n Calamari! notifying as we speak…

          • Tyree

            Is Cap’n Calamari still around?

          • i hope so!

        • God

          It’s all about balance my friend. There are some days where metal for whatever reason just is the last Thing I want to listen too. Been running daft punk most of today.

          • Negrodamus

            Liquid Swords in my car lately, shit is CLASSIC

          • Tyree

            I found Peter Gabriel’s So album on my CD shelf last week. I’m rocking that shit all the way to work and home. I’M ON MY WAY I’M MAKING IT… BIG TIME!!!!!

          • Negrodamus

            I was playing TSTAT earlier in my car cause I want to do a TOH Crate Diggin’ post about it, but lately it’s Liquid Swords and Enter The Wu in the car and raw black metal at home lol. This weekend I swear to the gods I will check out Fallujah and Opeth, though. About damn time!

          • Ryan Cowdy

            I thought both albums we solid…although, for whatever reason I find Fallujah sounds quite similar to Elitist.

            But I don’t blame you for taking your time though…I found myself pumping Cuban Linx II lately

          • Negrodamus

            Trying to keep up with the onslaught of awesome new releases was getting to be a little too much burden to carry. My best of 2014 list might be all albums that came out in the first half of the year, lol.

          • Ryan Cowdy

            Yeah, this year has been pretty stupid…in a good way.

            I just have new Pallbearer, WU, Death Grips and Cannibal Corpse on my watch list. I might listen to the new Pink Floyd…I haven’t decided yet

          • Negrodamus

            Pallbearer is going to destroy all!

          • Bert Banana

            It’s going to be a heavy and doomy August

          • i’m definitely going to spin the new Pink Floyd, i give ZERO flushes to Roger-less albums Momentary Lapse and Division Bell

          • Bert Banana

            Here’s my thing about it. My expectations for it are too high. I expect Pink Floyd to put out something that will sound fresh but I know they are going to play it safe and go with sound that they’ve done before

          • Gorgasm

            Trudger’s new one comes out in a couple weeks, i think….Shit is fucking heavy.

          • Negrodamus

            With a name like Trudger it must be heavy!

          • Gorgasm

            That’s pretty much the only release i’m looking forward to for the next few weeks. Plus Yob, Earth and Ides of Gemini have some new ones coming out this year too, and that’s about it for my metal hype ’14, so far.

          • Negrodamus

            PALLBEARER

          • Gorgasm

            Awesome…this is what i expect out of a great metal site: perfect recommendations for bands we’ve not heard of.

            This Pallbearer track on Profound Lore’s bandcamp is really good.

          • Poop Mango

            Not to be that guy, but I’m genuinely shocked you haven’t heard of Pallbearer. They got a ton of mainstream attention, all the kvlt dildos dismiss them as “for hipsters” now. (Their loss.)

          • Gorgasm

            I’m still relatively new to doom metal, was a death/grind-corer for a while, but then got tired of all the bro-shit….oh and speaking of Loss…

            http://youtu.be/vNtWuAkWqY0

          • death/grind == bro-shit?
            WHY I OUGHTA!!! *shakes fist

          • Gorgasm

            lmao…i was into the bro-shit, but got very sick of it…i didn’t mean to imply all death/grind was bro-shit

          • Poop Mango

            All good. Pallbearer’s “Sorrow and Extinction” is definitely worth grabbing and deserved the hype it got.

          • Bert Banana

            I’ve pretty much accepted the fact I’m a hipster when it comes to metal now…because apparently every band off Profound Lore is a “hipster” band and that’s the only label really making any money off me

          • Poop Mango

            Anything metalheads dismiss as “hipster” is usually worth giving at least one listen to.

          • Poop Mango

            I’ve been on a minor kick of electronic music that sounds like the soundtrack to a dystopian 80’s scifi action movie lately. If someone has recommendations similar to Perturbator, send them my way.

          • Negrodamus

            That sounds interesting. I have no idea what it sounds like but reading that description reminded me of the DJ Green Velvet.

          • Poop Mango

            Their album is free on bandcamp if it’s something you’d want to check out.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Lazerhawk’s “Skull & Shark”

          • Poop Mango

            Googled that and noticed it’s on the same label as Actrazer, another one I’ve been digging lately. Starting to think I should just get all of that label’s releases.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Rosso Corsa? Yeah they’re pretty good, Mitch Murder is a current favorite of mine; a lot of his stuff could pass for actually being made in the 80s.

          • Gloryhole Castration

            Check out Noir Deco and Dynatron. Both are pretty tasty!

          • Poop Mango

            Looking at the album art for Dynatron, I am already excited.

          • Gloryhole Castration

            Yeah, I’m definitely a sucker for 80’s sounding synth stuff haha! Lemme know what you think!

          • Gloryhole Castration

            Also, Mega Drive.

          • bro, that’s my fav song of all time. love the cunt out of Peter Gabriel!!!

          • Tyree

            OMG ME TOO! I have all of his albums and dvd’s (Well 3 of his live dvd’s). No joke dude.

          • i’ve got most of the albums and two of his blu-rays. also love: Peter Gabriel era Genesis!!!

          • Tyree

            Nice, Peter Gabriel Genesis! I lied about all of his albums, I don’t have his last 2 or 3 albums. I like his scores for Last Temtations of Christ and Birdy too.

          • i seem to remember his newer stuff being semi-flushable. i stopped after “Up”, which i found to be OH I DUNNO…… 2/5 flushes.
            re: Genesis – listen to “Fifth of Firth” while enhanced, tasty……….

          • Tyree

            Yeah, his stuff got a lot worse after Up. Up was ok like you said. I love the peter Gabriel live in Athens concert.

          • have you seen Secret World Live? aside from being a great vocalist, Paula Cole looked sofa king tasty on that one.

          • Tyree

            Hahaha, yeah dude Secret World Live is fantastic. He dose a ton of tight pant humping during that concert.

          • Max

            Passion is an all-time fave of mine. All killer, no filler.

          • TrickleDownTacoRiff

            trick of the tail…ttdr fav.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            what about Broadway, or are we talking phil era.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            remember this 80’s gem. Remo kicked ass – norris step aside – the inside word was fred ward is actually a good actor.
            Also – Batmang, fuck him, I want darkmang chico. I really do , darkman is fucking awesome.

          • Max

            “Red Rain” is rad.

          • DOUNT FOGET a SLEDGEHAMMER MOTHERFUKKER!!!!!m/

          • Tyree

            NEVER FORGET!!!!m/

          • Ayreonaut

            The gza!

          • Negrodamus

            The Rza, the Gza, the Ol’ Dirty Bza, Inspectah Deck, Ghostface Killah…

          • Ayreonaut

            Lol that same line got stuck in my head

          • Xan

            I’ve been blasting old rock recently, though, I did pulverize my ears this morning with Motorhead and Slayer.

          • The Satan ov Hell

            Andrew Jackson Jihad all week here.

      • Embedding was the final straw. It was more that 98% of the articles they posted were useless things none of us cared about.

        • Steve Smithwick

          Well, right. We had already started filling up all the posts with different music recommendations for each other, basically trying to turn MS into the site we wanted to go to. When that was thwarted, like you say, it was the last straw.

    • Welcome Fred!

      • hey Joe, has anyone volunteered to review the new Darkest Hour?
        i’m not the man to do it, but i’m currently spinning… and it’s so terri— flushable.

        • Mr. Bojangles is assigned to that terrible, terrible task.

    • CyberneticOrganism
      • Steve Smithwick

        This flush sound made me inordinately happy.

    • W.

      Hail the Wurst!

      • Ace Ventura

        IF YOU WERE ME, THEN I’D BE U. AND I’D USE YOUR BODY TO GET TO THE TOP

        YOU CAN’T STOP ME NO MATTER WHO YOUARE HEHAHHAHA LOSERRR!

    • you made it!!!

    • Welcome home, Fred.

    • The Devil

      A metal website created of the toilet dwellers, by the toilet dwellers, and for the toilet dwellers.

      • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis
        • Johnny Crunch

          Stop right there.

      • Mother Shabubu III

        Well, we are all a bunch of turds, so it’s very fitting.

        • Bucket ‘o Blood

          Well, I’m not a turd, per say. I’m a bucket full of period blood. So a vagina turd I guess?

          • Mother Shabubu III

            It all goes down the turlet.

      • Ace Ventura

        DIE, EVIL SPAWN OF SATANNNNNNNNNN!

      • KEEP IT REAL, KEEP IT MOIST!!!

    • Poop Mango
    • God

      <3

    • LAMENTATIONS OF THE WOMEN

      We’ll let RiotAct666 do the explaining on this one

      • you know you’ve made it when @RiotAct666 endorses it.

        • Max

          Or flushes it, for that matter.

      • Bert Banana

        It’s only a matter of time where everyone shifts over here and Axl is stuck talking to himself kinda like Chris Harris @ Metal Injection

    • whuts up!

  • W.

    Sometimes I like to take those stupid online quizzes like “Which female Harry Potter character are you?” The results are often quite revealing.

    • Ryan Cowdy

      Which character are did you get?

      • W.

        I’m Hermione.

        • Ryan Cowdy

          Sorry you didn’t get Harry in the end and got stuck with Ron

          • W.

            What’s a girl to do? :/

          • Ryan Cowdy

            cry?

      • Mother Shabubu III

        Ed Elric. Wait, wrong series.

    • d3ad13

      I’m NEVER Hermione, damnit! I’m always that blubbering bitch in the ill forgotten bathroom.

    • Cock of Steele

      I got Moaning Myrtle, probably on account of all that porn I watch

    • Ann Coulter’s Flaccid Penis

      So you’re that fucking cunt that always posts those things in my fucking news feed. I’m going to flush you while windmill kicking and fighting invisible ninjas.
      xToiletxOvxHellx

      • W.

        Ha, no. I actually hardly ever post anything on Facebook (besides the RHR group page).

        • hell, that’s the only thing i HAVE on facebook (refuse to have an IRL account)

  • Howard Dean

    I’d like to introduce everyone to my ’16 running mate. A true legend in every regard, a man among men, a man’s man, a ladies man, the man on the silver mountain, people among sheeple, can’t steal it, wheel ‘n’ deal it, whoooooooo! He can’t help that he’s custom made. The Dean machine is running hot and is ready for 2016 baby!

    Dean-Flair ’16!

    Byyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTKMxFNqlcQ

    • Steve Smithwick

      Is it bad that, if this team actually ran for office in 2016, I would almost certainly vote for them? Because I would. I mean it. I’m not joking.

      • Howard Dean

        [breaking character]
        Hah! No, that’s not bad at all. I would probably also vote for them. Because it’s fucking hilarious.
        [jumping back into character]
        Wooooooooooo! Byyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! Dean-Flair ’16! We’re coming to a caucus or primary near you, motherfuckers. And if we catch you wearing any Hulkamania gear, you’re getting figure-four’d and curb stomped. We don’t fuck around on the big jobs!
        Byyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      hey mang, you got my support , i’ll do a skit like eastwood did at the convention, totally free of charge mang.

  • RuIN?

    I would like to ask the class what their expectations are for the new Devin Townsend double that is being produced as we speak. I am really looking forward to the DT part but the Ziltoid tangent that he takes does not grab me by the boo boo like it does so many others. What say y’all?

    • Ryan Cowdy

      It’s probably going to slay…The only time I’ve actually been disappointed with Mr. Townsend’s work was Epicloud.

      • RuIN?

        Songs like Grace make me like that album. Others like Animals make me not like it. Looking forward to new stuff none the less.

        • Bert Banana

          Grace, More and Save Our Now is all that album has to offer.

  • Gorgasm

    Music to slay sandwiches to, but only if the sandwiches are extraterrestrial

    http://vcorecordings.bandcamp.com/album/vco-002-synthesizer-of-the-gods

  • TrickleDownTacoRiff

    Violaton Wound is fun! Sounds like actual punk…

  • Xan

    Relapse put this on their YouTube today and I had to share it. Great thrash: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtCV5Yb-pSo

  • LAMENTATIONS OF THE WOMEN

    yummy

    • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

      ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,that thing you posted reminds of this one i have been saving for a proper segue

  • Scrimm

    cant stop listening to this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xihGJveutQ8

    • Tyree

      Yayyy!

  • geddy

    EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!

  • Paris Hilton

    I ate a sandwich and drank an iced coffee. Way too much sugar but it’s so fucking hot out.

    • Stockhausen

      Dude, it’s miserable right now. I have to mow my lawn and run a marching band rehearsal later (not at the same time though).

      • Tyree

        That would be impressive sir.

        • Guest

          MMMMMBBBRRRRRRRalrighteveryonedon’tdragVVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRMBMBBBBBBMBBMMMBMBtheendofthatphraseMMMMBBBRRRBBRBRRBneedtheimpactMMMMMBBBBGETYOURDRUMSTICKOUTOFTHERE

          • Tyree

            Hahahaha. I can visualize it now. Kind of.

        • Stockhausen

          And if it was a riding mower, I could do some sweet stunts in the drill!

          • Paris Hilton

            Nothin better than a ride mower, tunes, and an ice cold Rolling Rock in the cupholder man!

      • Paris Hilton

        Ugh I know! I’m currently sweating like a priest at recess. All I can think about is the ice cold beer I have at home!

        • Stockhausen

          I have one beer left in my house, but luckily it’s a bomber. Well I have other beer, but it’s aging right now and I’m practicing some serious restraint.

          • Tyree

            Grrrr restraint.

      • Paris Hilton

        My honest feelings about cutting grass

    • Poop Mango

      My lunch in two words: all-day happy hour.

      • Paris Hilton

        I envy you so much!

  • Stockhausen

    I’m jamming the junk out of Cormorant, Anciients, and Haken today.

  • Follower of Satan

    Left Christ behind, now I follow satan here in the Toilet. Praise the Goat!