Live Girls Don’t Say Yes

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It would be really awesome if I could go one day without seeing something so incredibly stupid it didn’t make me long for the sweet embrace of death, but thems the breaks. I’m a lady, and since I’m a lady I’m used to seeing dumb shit said and done by men who think they’re clever. Shouting at women while they’re out grocery shopping? Normal. Pointing at their dick with one hand and you with the other as a greeting? Normal. Naming your band after corpse rape? Totally normal, bros.

"I love this band! They really speak to me!"

“I love this band! They really speak to me!”

So yeah, there’s a band called Dead Girls Can’t Say No. It’s dumb. Before anyone gets all “free speech!” on my ass, I’m not saying they shouldn’t be allowed to pick whatever name they want. By all means, men. If you want people to believe you’re a hardcore misogynist that believes raping and murdering women is a good name for a band in a time when at least a third of all women murdered in the US are killed by their domestic partners, by all means, go for it. Truly you are the lord of edge. Surely, people will admire your bravery. Your willingness to admit how hardcore you are in an era when an average of three women are killed every day is so impressive, people will bow to your superior wit. I’m sure the people of Rhode Island are proud of their community for creating such hilarious guys.

Of course, not everyone can appreciate this kind of subtle humor. Apparently some lady actually thought that her opinion actually mattered. THE NERVE! She actually had the lady balls to suggest that maybe the venue shouldn’t hire them. I mean, what is the world coming to? Does she actually think the internet is a place for opinions? Everyone knows that’s not the case. The internet is for porn. All kinds of porn. Ladies shouldn’t voice their opinions because the world isn’t safe and people shouldn’t try to take a moment and consider our thoughts and feelings. So what if we’re murdered by dudes all the time? So what if this band wants to remind us with their incredible music that women aren’t people and that our corpses are valued more than our living breathing talking bodies.

DGDSN 01

Cool it, feminists! Don’t you realize that the lead vocalist is a girl, too??

Check out all the support they have! Their true fans know the truth, that feminists are just here to ruin your fun. Man, what kind of world would we live in if we didn’t have bands like this to shove all of the abuse women get on a daily basis into our face? Why do feminists keep having to pop up and remind us that women are literally half the population and maybe it isn’t cool to talk about how you want to murder and rape them all the time? I mean geez, it’s a free country. This is metal. Metal isn’t supposed to be nice, it’s supposed to be brutal. You’re supposed to feel like the men surrounding you and enjoying the nice songs about rape and murder are possibly enjoying the songs because that’s a fantasy of theirs. You’re supposed to feel somewhat threatened by the guys who tell you to stop whining and keep your mouth shut. You’re supposed to keep your opinions to yourself because opinions are for men and the moment you have one, you’re a dirty feminist and you probably can’t even get a man either.

DGDSN 2

Okay, I’m done. I mean holy shit guys, I can’t keep this up forever. I don’t have the stamina to call people out on their bullshit because there’s just too much of it. Every time some dudes think it’s clever to make rape jokes to women, I can’t help but wonder if they realize that nearly one in every five women in the US is raped. Do you know how exhausting it is to tell people that? Because it doesn’t seem like a lot of people know. Or even want to know. Like, if you think getting pussy is hard now, imagine how hard it is when your humor is based on the fact that the people you want to put your penis in are probably disgusted by you and your inability to see them as people. Let’s not even get into the fact that rape fantasies are one of the most common types of porn in existence, or that the internet has numbed people so much that a lot of men don’t even realize what rape is.

Guys, I know you’re not all idiots. #NotAllMen is a hashtag I don’t need to use because obviously there exist some really intelligent guys who understand that the world generally treats women like shit, and maybe they shouldn’t. So I’m asking you as a personal favor to maybe take a look at the kind of metal you support and why. If you want to keep supporting bands that glorify rape and murder, go right ahead. Obviously nobody can stop you. Just remember that if you’re straight, you might actually want to talk to a girl someday.

Caution: EdgelordAnd yes, even edgy “Im not like other girls” girls might be turned off by the idea of going to a show with a band who’s name invokes images of Bill Cosby or Brock Turner. I could be wrong, though. Maybe you’ll find a diamond. Or hell, maybe you can afford a really good Real Doll. They don’t talk back, either.

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  • *vapes in all directions while slamming a natty ice*

    • #burnt

    • “…because of there name”
      “…unless your seeking attention”
      “…if your so on the soap box”

      • he words together good, yes.

        • it could be the greatest message ever delivered from one soul to another (which it’s not); but when it looks like it was written by a 12 year old, folks aren’t going to take it too seriously

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Metal band no brain beer well without.

      • Hans Müller

        Managed to at least avoid any “could/should/would of”, which is my pet peeve.

        • JWEG

          That drives me nuts, too. I can’t do anything about it as an educator, because I teach IT not ESL. And I’ve been reminded of that fact by administration more than once.

          Low five.

          https://media.giphy.com/media/9o67upvAnOqRy/giphy.gif

          • Hans Müller

            As in, you get shit on for correcting people about this?
            And why is it a case for ESL? Pretty sure I’ve seen plenty of native speakers do it. Almost piped up when Tyree did it in a comment of his recently.

          • JWEG

            It’s only my observation. I don’t doubt it’s much more common with native speakers who should have learned better generally.

            But my Uni has a larger-than-average percentage of non-native English speakers (especially from mainland China) whose source for learning how to write in English is a single Technical Writing course they had to pass, just one Test of English as a Foreign language (TOEFL), and whatever English they picked up from ESL classes taken back when they were still overseas that has long since been biased by errors repeated by their peers.

            Some of it might be an accidentally-emergent kind of a “pidgin” that allows them to speak broken English with others whose first language is also not English but not something in common. But it really doesn’t need to be repeated in writing.

        • just to clear the air (cause i’m not an expert on the language)…
          you’re saying “have” needs to be used in place of each “of”?

          • Hans Müller

            Ayup. I can see how one might construe e.g. “would of” from hearing “would’ve”, but not seeing that that makes no sense whatsoever is a bit of an achievement. For a native speaker, anyway.

        • Waynecro

          Another good one: “A whole nother level.”

          • JWEG

            Keegan-Michael Key, is that you?

      • “…something else to with your life…”

    • Ah, the classic fallacy of relative privation.

  • BobLoblaw

    Man, dont let these people find out about Gorgasm.

  • Eliza

    Well, their music is absolutely terrible, so they need the edgy name to attract attention.

    • BobLoblaw

      Stupid band name is stupid basically. Im sure they will love the attention this garners.

      • Eliza

        At least we have a shitty band to point at and laugh for the garbage that they are.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Stupid babies need the most attention.

        • BobLoblaw

          Im for leaving these kinds of babies on a mountainside in obscurity. Like the good old days.

    • Owlswald

      I just made the mistake of pressing play. It brings me back to when our band used to play local shows with shitty bands.

    • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

      I won’t even bother listening to their music.

      • Eliza

        That’s the right choice, believe me.

  • Unfortunately, we cannot fix all the stupid that occurs in the world. However, being cognoscente to said stupidity and making sure they are called out for their asshatery, is the just thing to do.

    Excellent write up.

    GL

  • “Get over it”

    Oh, well when you put it THAT way…

    • Sarah Lafayette

      “We hate rape! That’s why we have it on all our stuff!”

      • I just noticed “Protest the laws” and now my forehead hurts from the vicious slapping it received.

    • Owlswald

      What does Gorak have to say about hating woman?

    • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

      Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Man that band is totally in my face, they’re so fucking edgy bro

  • Waynecro

    Let’s all try to look at the bright side. It’s awful that 3 women are killed every day; however, an average of 40 people are murdered every day in the United States, which means probably a lot of them are men.

    • Eliza

      The US is a scary place.

      • InfinityOfThoughts

        Unfortunately, many parts of it can be. Which is why I envision a future for myself where I live in the woods, far away from all this shit.

        • Eliza

          If the woods has wifi, I’d totally be down for living there.

          • InfinityOfThoughts

            Sounds like the Berkshires

          • Abradolf Lincler

            my neck of the woods has wifi (in varying degrees), the further you go up the mountains, the less likely

        • tigeraid

          I live in the woods now, can confirm: it doesn’t get you away from this shit. The murderous, rapey, thuggy, bro-culture neighbours have been replaced with super-duper far right wing uber-Christian, Muslim-hating, chemtrail-conspiring white rednecks instead.

          • tigeraid

            But it is quieter. And Trees n’ Shit.

          • InfinityOfThoughts

            Perfect for blasting Agalloch while attending my garden…and keeping a shotgun handy to shoo away any trespassers.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            TovH meetup at Tigeraid’s place!

      • Waynecro

        It’s really not all that bad mostly. I’ve only been nearly murdered about three times.

        • CAVEMAN GORAK™

          ONLY LIKE 2 PREZ BEEN MURDERED THOUGH!!!!!! U GOT GOOD ODDS!!!!!!!!!

          • Waynecro

            That’s exactly what I mean by looking on the bright side.

      • I’d say it’s alright here, but then I remember the 900+ mass shootings that have taken place here over the past few years and the fact that a fascist is about to run for office with the conservative party’s blessing and I think things could be much, much better.

      • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

        Depends on where you live, really. The area I live in now is really peaceful, and hardly any violent crimes. Chicago, or at least the area I lived in? Yeeeeeaaaaaah, it can get really really bad, and it’s gone to shit this year.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      Now if only all those 37 could be Dead Girl’s Don’t Say No fans…

      • Eliza

        Hopefully, this band doesn’t have that many fans.

        • Waynecro

          I was going to say that there’s no way the band has that many fans.

          • Eliza

            37 is 37 too many.

          • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

            Oh, never underestimate the power of human stupidity my friend! More than sure Trump supporters and the men’s rights idiots (especially the ones who man-struated over Fury Road and claimed it was misandrist) would find common ground with these living colostomy fires.

      • more beer

        They don’t even have 37 fans.

      • I’d be surprised if 37 people have actually watched them play.

    • Those three women are primarily killed by dudes. The other 37 dudes are killed by dudes. Dudes are the more murderous gender.

  • Megan Alexandra

    fuck I like this site so much.

    • Eliza

      I know, right, this place is great.

    • InfinityOfThoughts

      Here on the Toilet, we are equal. The swirling, putrid waters will one day claim us all and bring us to our eternity, suffering in bile and filth.

      • CyberneticOrganism

        So sayeth the flush

        • InfinityOfThoughts

          Hail Poocifer

        • Hans Müller

          Thusly flusheth the commode.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Welcome to the toilet

    • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

      Good to have ya here, and welcome to the Toilet!

      https://media.giphy.com/media/ZxrpYTevDLmmY/giphy.gif

      • Lacertilian

        She’s been around since the start.

        • Dubbbz

          I can vouch for this because she always likes it when Joe calls me a nerd 🙁

          • Lacertilian

            We all do Dubs, we all do.

  • InfinityOfThoughts

    There is such a thing as edgy and then there is completely crossing the line. Like take the members of Venom and (some few) members from the second wave of black metal. It’s one thing to sing about burning churches and another to carry it out.

    I certainly DO NOT condone violence against women: it’s one thing to have an attention grabbing band name, but a completely other to base your image on that. If you need sexual violence to sell your product/music, whatever, go jump off a bridge. The world is better without you.

    • Abradolf Lincler

      im not sure you can equate burning down an idealogy with necrophilia (or rape)

      • InfinityOfThoughts

        In talking about extremes, sure. But I understand they are two different things. I was using it as a metaphor which may or may not have worked too well.

        • JWEG

          I for one think it was a closer comparison than you concede there. Arson is still arson. “I don’t like their religion” is a moralistic responsibility-dodge with support only by others who share those morals.

          It can’t override the underlying illegal act of destruction of property – whether or not may in fact by leased by the ‘church’ but owned by a municipal authority instead. Morals are often used somewhat in the pursuit of creating laws. But shouldn’t be a factor in applying them after the fact.

  • Aren’t 99% of all these bands with this shtick terrible anyway? You can tell by the name that they are talentless ass clowns. Wouldn’t press play.

  • Abradolf Lincler

    this is the same problem i have with the -gore bands. well enough said, if preachy. even the guys in the bands know theyre stupid

    • BobLoblaw

      Tongue in cheek and shock value. A lot of it is garbage some are worth checking out and none are to be taken as seriously as this. Thats when it truly becomes funny.

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    I don’t necessarily think we should ban everything that offends people, but bands like that should realise that the name alone is gonna get them banned from a lot of live shows.

    • All you have to do to get your WT metal band a gig is to find a WT bar that will book you. Plenty of WT around to achieve that scenario.

      Also, aren’t you from the UK? How are you voting today?

      • Dave Vincent’s Perm

        I’m not voting, the whole thing is a complete joke fuelled by the self-interest of a bunch of fat overpaid 50-year old men. Besides, even if I wanted to, my national insurance number didn’t arrive in time to register.

        • Abradolf Lincler

          i asked a british customer this mornin about her opinion (which was to stay in)

        • I am not completely up to speed on the whole ordeal, but, it seems like a bunch of people want to flex their “voting muscles” for no other reason than to make a splash. Seems like a weird thing to do, to me. But, I am not from there… so… interesting.

          Thanks for your opinion.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Just wait until Texas tries it with their “Texit.” That should be a lol.

          • Dubbbz

            Please don’t joke about that. There are more than enough numbskulls here who think that would actually be a good idea.

          • struggling… to… rectify raging…. leftist… tendencies… with completely ignorant… state pride….

          • Abradolf Lincler

            FREE WNC!!!

          • CyberneticOrganism

            The Independent Republic of Jesus’ Gunland (formerly Texas)

          • Psure they try that every 4 years?

          • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight
          • There are many, many brief guides you can read on the subject but the overall consensus is that leaving the EU is some dumb bullshit.

          • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

            IF you leave EU, you die. In weeks. A fact.

          • Dave Vincent’s Perm

            It isn’t much different to people voting for trump just to see what will happen.

          • they are going to get what they are seeking. (and what will they get? i don’t think anyone knows yet, including Trump himself!)

          • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

            Hell, I think Trump’s literally sinking his campaign on purpose right now, now that he actually seems to be figuring out that the presidency isn’t a reality show or a dictatorship. Between the fact he admitted himself that he hasn’t bothered setting up anything for the general election, the Repubs talking about giving him the boot at the convention, the Trump U lawsuit, a new federal lawsuit involving him having raped a 13 year old, begging donors for $100,000 within a 7 hour time frame, and many other factors, you can pretty much stick a fork in his campaign. It’s over.

  • Step 1: Form shitty band
    Step 2: Play shitty generic music
    Step 3: Give shitty band that plays shitty generic music super 3dgy name to attract attention because no one else would give a fuck about your band otherwise.
    Step 4: Throw temper tantrum when someone disagrees with your band name advocating violence against women.

    • Shitty band = 0 pulls.

    • Owlswald

      Step 5: Make up your own genre. Call it Rage Metal.

      • Fucking idiots.

      • Step 6: Sign to Attila dude’s label, die in mediocrity.

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Step 7: Deleted from Metal Archives (the ultimate insult)

          • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

            No, I think Step 6 would be a far bigger insult!

      • Rowsdower

        My own genre is Kevin Metal. I’ve never met a Kevin in my life.

  • excellent article Sarah! it puts a huge grin on my face when idiots are tactfully and intelligently taken down a peg. noice mic drop!

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Fuck this band. These edgelords are not only terrible people but their music is awful.

  • Simon PhoenixKing Rising

    Dear people of Rhode Island,

    Stop giving this shitty band attention and promote Eternal Khan instead. Kthnx.

    https://youtu.be/_1lYiP8PzyA

    • JWEG

      Seconded. And ‘thirded’.

      I got my first two #MetalBandcampGiftClub items (EP and demo) from them. Spoiled my intent to actually pay for both, but obviously I can’t complain.

    • …And Sangus.

    • Hi = Person of Rhode Island here

      Nobody in providence gives a fuck about this band. Everyone else is usually seeing one of the many local bands that don’t suck. I know so many people in this city and most of the people that book here and I can guarantee theh have no real support here

      • and Sire and Bog of The Infidel and Witch King and and and and a

      • that’s why Simon wants folks to support Eternal Khan!

  • FUCK THIS COOTIES INFESTED POST

  • Grandpa’s Magic Fleshlight

    Sounds like the band spent far more time coming up with a shocking and edgy name than their actual music, which is often the case with bands that pick overboard names (Homophobic Fecalphiliac, anyone?).
    Can’t say I’ve ever seen any guys grabbing their junk in a grocery store and pointing to women, but I honestly wouldn’t be amazed. I have, however, chased one of my friends (who’s male) down an aisle with a strategically placed baguette.

  • Montanaboyssareeasy

    Baton Rouge, You Have Much To Answer For.

  • Please don’t blame Firehouse 13! They’re awesome people.

  • Villainian

    Don’t want to step on anyone’s toes but I just want to point out these rape statistics are based on a flawed study and a flawed CDC report from a few years ago. In it any sex that didn’t involve clear and outright verbal consent (as in a female had sex while she was under the influence or really tired or something) as incapacitated form of sexual violence which then somehow got counted as rape. By this measure I’ve been raped 6 times in the last 4 months. This counted for a chunk of the statistics that were being sported as rape. It’s dubious at best.

    http://time.com/3393442/cdc-rape-numbers/