Linkin Attila – Bulletproof: A Video Breakdown

Limp Attila, Fronz Biscuit, Attila Park, whatever you want to call it, everyone’s favorite most punchable face is back with a new video.

Rejoice everyone! Attila, the kings of genericore have returned to bring you the absolute best cookie cutter horse shit imaginable. You know Attila. You know they are bad and not good. You as a rational human being with common sense and basic cognitive functions struggle with the fact that other human beings purchase their music and attend their performances. Some people find them so off-putting that they would rather have sex in public than be faced with the prospect of actually having to listen to or watch them. Studies have shown that people that enjoy Attila are clinically brain dead and that cabbage is an intellectually superior species. Somehow, some way, this clown car of a band has procured the funding and the backing to record another album. Furthermore, they have duped people into filming a music video for said album. Because I’m a nice guy and I like all of you, I have performed the civic duty of actually having to listen to this drek so you don’t have to. With the power of gif technology, you can watch the highlight reel of this abomination of a song without actually having to hear it. For those who want to punish and torture themselves, you can watch the video for “Bulletproof” below. (Serious question: why in the fuck would you subject yourself to potential loss of brain cells by pressing the play button on this steaming pile of elephant shit?)

:05 – RED ALERT! RED ALERT!: They are jumping da fuk up, they are jumping da fuk up to a fart noise riff. You may also notice the shipping containers they happen to be jumping on. Why are Attila not inside these shipping containers on a one way trip to Antartica?











:16 – This one doesn’t move, but take a step back and observe the poor life choices in this photo like the bad hand tattoo, playing bass for Atilla and tactfully displaying knee cartiledge while playing bass.










:41 – Looks like some combo of Dee Snyder and David Lee Roth minus all the talent.











:44 – Shocker, Attila consumes Liquid White Trash Steroids











:46 – Linkin Park called, they want their chorus back




















:58 –  This is by far the least enthusiastic circle pit in the history of circle pits. Bravo Attila, you really know how to fire up a crowd of Juggalo asshats.











1:04 – Hand gestures bro, you see the way Fronz gestures with his hands? He’s trying to compensate for the fact that this song is softer than melted marshmallows.











1:10 – Fred Vanilla Ice Justin Bieber Durst











1:22 – Here the lyrics say something about kicking ass and taking names. This coming from someone who would get his ass kicked and his name took by a 5th grader.











1:48 – Fronz hungry after guzzling all that Monster Energy Drink, Fronz eat microphone.











1:53 – If you didn’t click play then I can tell you that this guitar solo is garbage.











2:37 – Through some Underpants Gnome scheme, Attila somehow makes money and they use that money to pay people to show up for their video shoots, jump up and down and act like they enjoy their music.











2:41 – Fronz coming back for a second helping of microphone.











3:22 – He’s actually not head banging, he’s counting in his head how many measures are left to play until this song is mercifully over.











Attila’s new album, Chaos will be released on November 4 through Sharp Tone Records. Or you can just wait until November 11 when you will find it in the cut out bin of your local record store.

For the love of all humanity and for the sake of your friends, your family and your children, do not under any circumstances like Attila on Facebook, Instagram or anywhere else where you may encounter their likeness.

Written by:

Published on: October 10, 2016

Filled Under: Lolbuttz, Video Breakdown

Views: 693

Tags: , , , , ,

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
  • Joaquin Stick

    I made it to the “MONSTER ENERGY™ Official Beverage of Internal Bleeding™ and Tuffguy Music™” scene before I just had to watch the gifs. I can’t believe there’s a market outside of 16 year olds for this.

  • Kevin Nash’s Jackknife

    I unfortunately saw them at a festival in 2013. They were awful.

  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    Mr. Deuce, you brave soul.

  • God is dead and his blood is on our hands.

    • God


  • mother☆shabubu

    I heard tell that they are in every city touching every titty.

    This is like when Crazy Town tried to be all srs, but still were lolbuttz, only it’s chuggy-core counterpart.

    • 2millions views, wow!

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Lol this is actually quite sad. I can’t really explain why it’s sad, but somehow it is. I really feel sorry for this band, like I would feel sorry for the bullied little kid who just got his lunch stolen from him.

    • Mr. Bojangles


  • ¡Jajajajajajaja! This sucks so much. I tried to listen one complete Attila song for the first time, but I have to pass out.

    I mean, I passed out.

    • For purposes of this exercise, I had to hear it several times and that jackoff chorus is stuck in my head as a result.

      • Scream at your screamy records to avoid ear infection by Attila!

        • Dillinger Escape Plan and Wormrot this week, I think I will survive.

      • Also:

        Chris Fronzak Hace 3 días
        Thank you all for the kind words, I’m glad you guys dig this song. This was VERY different for me as a vocalist but I’ve always wanted to push myself to be the most diverse vocalist I can possibly be. For those of you who are concerned about the overall style of our new album let me tell you this- Our goal when writing/recording this album was to create the MOST DIVERSE album we’ve ever made. “Bulletproof” is by far the LIGHTEST song on the album. To put things in perspective you guys haven’t even heard the top 3 HEAVIEST songs of the album. There is so much more to come, just wait 😉 We purposely made this album extremely DIVERSE because we hate boring albums and we love keeping everybody on their toes! After all… This is CHAOS!

      • Thank you for your sacrifice. This is priceless.

        • I’m going through detox as I write this.

          • WE NEED 30 CC’S OF HM-2, STAT

          • I’ve called up The Gatecreeper to erase these horrible memories.

  • JWEG
  • Hubert
  • W.

    Does Fronz have a beauty mark piercing?

  • Scrimm

    Dee Snider and David Lee Roth minus the talent would still be Dee Snider and David Lee Roth

    • Kevin Nash’s Jackknife

      I agree with the Dee Snider part but not the DLR part. I saw Twisted Sister with Y&T. Y&T blew them off the stage.

      • Scrimm

        Pretty sure just about anyone would.

      • Count_Breznak

        Twisted Sister, Yyrkoon and Tulus sounds like weird lineup.

    • STAY HUNGRY, SCRIMMY, jajajaja!

    • I agree it’s a reach but consider what I have to work with here.

      • Scrimm


    • dan

      Thank God someone said it.

  • Waynecro

    I think the singer’s tongue is trying to escape.

    • Wouldn’t you if you had to speak that gibberish?

      • Waynecro

        Very few organisms deserve to languish in such a disgusting environment.

    • My personal wish would be for it to separate completely from his mouth thereby rendering his mouth useless.

  • InfinityOfThoughts

    Why promote this crap?

    • We’ve run video breakdown every monday for two years now. “Promote” might be a bit generous

      • InfinityOfThoughts

        Oh I know, I’ve been following the site for a while now.

        But this is trash man. I know it’s funny and all but these clowns don’t need anymore publicity.

        • I guess my thought on this is that no one that reads this site would be interested in purchasing their music. It’s a net neutral effect on the world.

          • InfinityOfThoughts

            Cheers, I understand. I’m still suffering post traumatic MetalSucks disorder (I can’t believe what they’ve become…well, yes I can) and I’m wary of any of that creeping into my other beloved metal sites.

        • Maik Beninton™

          Well, I’m pretty sure the majority of the people (including me) didn’t even clicked on the video.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    There’s one thing this band succeeds at; and that’s at being cancerous to BOTH ears and eyes at the same time.

    • Count_Breznak

      Calling them Periphery is a bit harsh.

  • Abradolf Lincler

    this really is ripping off Linkin Park hard. this is worse than i remember Atilla being. Fronz also became more punchable somehow.

    • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

      Aesthetically Fronz has been taking notes from the innovator and overlord of “fratboy metal buffoonery”:

      • Abradolf Lincler

        man, im pretty sure fronz has now surpassed durst in terms of i-wish-i-were-black-ness.

        i also learned today that my patches will be 5 days late instead of four because its all well and good to call Columbus a racist and massmurderer but gods forbid you work today, mailmanbro

      • Hubert

        Rarely have I seen eyes this dead.

  • Maik Beninton™

    NÃO PODE SER!!!!

  • The Unicorn
  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Is The Fronz now taking style tips from guy fieri?

  • Mr. Bojangles

    this band is actually still a thing?