Let’s Help Dave Grohl Experience Total Ego Death

Do your part and sign this petition to force feed LSD to Dave Grohl til he experiences complete and total ego death.

Around here, we occasionally like to have a little fun at ol’ Dave Grohl’s expense. Dave Grohl, for better or worse, is the go-to figurehead for Rock n’ Roll™, a genre still clinging to the forefront of culture half a century past its prime. Long ago, rock music was the soundtrack to youth gone wild. Dangerous and unpredictable, rock was meant to be wild and anti-authority. Former drummer of the biggest Rock n’ Roll™ band in the world, Dave Grohl has in the decades since Nirvana made a hell of a living for himself creating inoffensive music for dull HBO documentaries and karaoke for scores of Italians.

A caring soul called Thor Speeler is doing the lord’s work by creating a petition on Change.org to make Dave the rock and/or roller we need. Thor Speeler’s plan? Force feed Dave Grohl LSD until he experiences ego death. Maybe, just maybe, by consuming enough lysergic acid diethylamide to completely annihilate every current reference point Dave Grohl has of Dave Grohl, he can crawl back from the edge of the abyss to discard every pleasant but dull Saint Cecelia he has stored in his songbook.

Who knows? Ideally, he’ll return from the brink of oblivion to create an opus of transgressive art that completely eclipses anything on Bleach. Or he could come back from his acid trip like the guy that played drums for milquetoast folk act Fleet Foxes to become Father John Misty. Oh god… Do we really need two of those insufferable pricks? What have we done?

Sign the petition here.

Change_Dave_Grohl


h/t Dagon and Crowhurst. If you’re in the mood for some harsh noise, check out Crowhurst’s Fuck You Dave Grohl. WARNING: Only click play if you’re fully prepared to blow your speakers out to fuck and back.

Written by:

Published on: April 19, 2016

Filled Under: Lolbuttz

Views: 1541

Tags: , , , ,

  • BALLS ROLL

    So we’re going to Grohl Roll that petition? count me in brotha

  • Pressed play before I read anything.
    RIP MY EAR DRUMS LUL

  • Waynecro

    Well, that’s one of the least annoying petitions I’ve seen on Change.org. That’s something.

    • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

      I’m amazed anyone noticed it, under the millions of “impeach Obama”, “arrest Hillary” and other mindless petitions there that have gone absolutely nowhere.

      • Waynecro

        I haven’t seen many of those petitions. I usually get notifications about petitions that say shit like “My kid got really high and murdered several people, but he shouldn’t be in jail because reasons.”

        • more beer

          I would need more details than just that. Who did they murder? Why did they murder them? Is it your fault for being a bad parent? You know what fuck that and fuck their kid. Stay in jail murderer. I’m not signing anything.

        • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

          Same. I’ve heard about quite a number of them from reading articles on Fark, which is an indicator.

  • BALLS ROLL

    hey the link is not working

    • Ah son of a bitch. Looks like some wiener removed it. Glad I took the screenshot.

      • BALLS ROLL

        I had the diesel all fired up ready to go

        • cooler packed with Bud Light Lime’s

          • CyberneticOrganism

            bro

          • hieronymus bossk

            A dude on my team brought a 48 pack of Costco lite beer the other night. It was described as being “beer-ish tasting swill-water”.

          • BALLS ROLL

            So it was like Pale Communion Ale?

          • Boss theSpeedMetalBastard Ross

            Balls Roll plz!

          • hieronymus bossk

            Good question, I don’t drink.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            That’s all lite beer, no exceptions!

  • Dubs

    Well, since the campaign is over, may I present y’all this enjoyable gif?

    http://45.media.tumblr.com/09a1c78d85f7fd6ba170358422a07b87/tumblr_o5hl1hd6cC1rrftcdo1_540.gif

  • Dave needs to play some blast beats. Here Dave, increase your ego with this…

    http://media.onlinedrummer.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Blast-Beats-Variations.png

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Blast beats or GTFO. Now and forever.

    • hieronymus bossk

      In an alternate timeline, Dave left Foo Fighters long ago, became Queens of the Stone Age’s drummer circa 2002, got fired in 2007 due to “musical differences” between him and Homme, then wound up putting together Dave Grohl’s Nirvana Tribute with Kris Novocelechsjsjs (bassist guy) in an attempt to stay relevant. The other members of Foo Fighters (there are other members?) faded into obscurity harder than A Dozen Furies did after winning “Battle For Ozzfest”.

        • hieronymus bossk

          420 BLAST IT

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Dave Grohl’s Nirvana seems like something Dave and the bassist would do if Foo Fighters ever disbanded permanently. Maybe they could get Gavin Rossdale to replace Kurt. They could tour the lucrative nostalgia circuit with all the 80’s bands that were destroyed by them and their grunge bullshit. They could probably do a package tour with co-headliner Live and opener Tantric.

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          The Foo Fighters would probably try to continue with a new guy and fail. They’d be playing The Chance while Dave Grohl’s Nirvana with Soul Asylum and Spin Doctors played my county fair.

          • i would attend the JJD county fair, given the chance.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            This is in an alternate timeline. Th3 county fair is getting Third Eye Blind and a ton of garbage this year.

          • Waynecro

            I can get down to some Tantric and Spin Doctors.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Oh, sheeit, I saw another one this morning that screams JJD!

            http://assets.blabbermouth.net.s3.amazonaws.com/media/laconiafest2016poster.jpg

          • more beer

            Laconia N.H. is not in his area.Plus this is part of a pretty big motorcycle rally. I am not sure he is ready for that.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            I know, but that lineup sounds like his wet dream come true! He’d crawl on his belly across miles of broken glass for Lita Ford and Warrant alone.

          • more beer

            But only if it is in his area.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Before I forget, wanted to slide this one over to ya.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oLC49sfsAQ

          • more beer

            it doesn’t play.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Weird! Youtube ‘ossian ítéletnap’ and see if it works.

          • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

            Toss me an email at geistimsturm@gmail.com and I can get it over to ya.

      • Max

        Has anybody ever gotten fired due to “musical similarities?”

        • hieronymus bossk

          Dave Grohl once fired a piece of cardboard for being too musical similar to himself.

          • Max

            Ha ha, good comeback!

    • Dave Vincent’s Perm

      Have you seen the Goatpenis demo reissue on Bandcamp?

      • Nah, is there a link? Which demo? I have their demo Comp CD that they put out.

  • CyberneticOrganism

    That’s some seriously angry noise

    https://media.giphy.com/media/xaMg6NGwH2fFS/giphy.gif

  • hieronymus bossk

    Dave killed Kurt. He took the stash of unused songs, Courtney took the immediate financial benefits. Dave started running out of material halfway through Colour and the Shape, hence all the filler on that album, as well as the beginning of true Foo Fighters music – soccer mom rock. While recording The Colour and the Shape, their drummer at the time noticed a lot of odd things about some of “Dave’s” material. He then noticed the written music was in Kurt’s handwriting. Dave discovered this discovery, so he secretly did all the drum parts behind the drummer’s back, fired the guy, and threatened him with a lawsuit for slander if he spilled the beans. The reason Foo Fighters have lost their edge and have been treading the same, safe waters for the last decade is because Dave doesn’t have a dead Kurt writing good songs for him, very similar to how Denis Leary stopped being funny once Bill Hicks died. Dave’s goofy, airheaded, but nice guy demeanor is not only a mask, but a way to hide his inner pain from stabbing his old bandmate in the back (literally and figuratively). Him and Courtney not getting along is also a ruse so no one would ever suspect the two conspired together.

    Play these three songs at full volume together.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vRlJrkxsqo

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vRlJrkxsqo

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vRlJrkxsqo

    • BALLS ROLL

      this makes me want to catch a few zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’s

      • hieronymus bossk

        I wanted to do his shitpost-form justice.

    • So there IS a Foo Fighters album worth listening to?

      • I liked the first two a lot as a kid. I still think they aight.

        • I might have to check them out, then. The last decade rock music was artistically relevant also happens to be my favorite, always on the lookout for something else to listen to.

          • there’s worse shit out there. i may be discussing 90’s one hit wonders at some point in time, so that could be a resource for all… one of you who desire that stuff 😉

          • hieronymus bossk

            There’s worth shit out there than dying from a bear attack, doesn’t make dying from a bear attack any better.

        • PostBlackenedWhaleGaze

          Self titled is a pretty good album.

      • hieronymus bossk

        Their singles are their strongest material. There’s not too many memorable deep cuts. So a greatest hits album.

        Even though I despise the Grohlverkill in media about his bland music, and it is from modern Foo, “White Limo” paired with the video is aight.

  • hieronymus bossk

    Dave Grohl is the musical equivalent of Guy Fieri if he were a soccer mom.

  • JWEG
    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      Awwwwwwww.

    • Rob M

      Awww..

      AWWWW….

      Damn dog!, youre fucking up my turntable!

  • I just listened to this after it was breathlessly recommended. It’s, uh, bad. Or maybe I just have poor taste.
    http://artifactofskulls.bandcamp.com/album/iii-luciferian-blasphemy

    • Rob M

      “maybe I just have poor taste.”

      Well yeah, but we knew that…

      Actually checked this out recently and thought it was kind of cool, but I definitely could have saved you the (literal) headache and told you, you wouldnt like it

      • It’s just so lo-fi that it strikes me as lazy.

        • Rob M

          Its probably intentional, but honestly, I think that style works best when the production is lo-fi

        • GOSH, DAD. IT’S RAW, THAT’S HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO SOUND. OLD PEOPLE LIKE YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND.

          Joe: Fucking kids these days…

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    They should put one of these in Foo Fighters and let them battle for supremacy http://media1.onsugar.com/files/2010/03/09/4/192/1922243/97425071_10.xxxlarge/i/Shiny-Fur-ASAP.jpg

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    Only thing that could save him in my book is if he whips out his Ouiji board, contacts Lemmy (with a case of whiskey and a carton of Marlboros to lure him in, just in case) from the dead, and gets another Probot CD up and going.

  • The Tetrachord of Archytas

    Dave Grohl doesn’t have the religious upbringing necessary for a father John style transformation, so maybe his trip would have the opposite effect

  • Lisa Ling: Devourer Of Souls

    Excellent song, but insanely lolbuttz video.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yycraQWm_tI

  • Dave Vincent’s Perm

    Make him listen to this.

  • NEW BEHEXEN NEW BEHEXEN NEW BEHEXEN NEW BEHEXEN NEW BEHEXEN!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzVMQoFK8uI

  • Guppusmaximus

    If one thousand Italian retards could play that shit then there’s no excuse for this…
    http://www.engadget.com/2016/04/19/magic-instruments-digital-guitar/