King Satan – Satanized (Praise Hail Satan): A Video Breakdown


King Devil Dog would’ve been a better name choice.

Do you need some satanic industrial techno music in your life? No. No, of course you don’t. You’re not a pill-snorting devil-worshiping neon-loving fiend that wears fuzzy boots and and dances inappropriately at funerals. Or maybe you are, I can’t read your mind. If that’s the case, then you are definitely going to like Finland’s King Satan.

On their Facebook page, King Satan list their Band Interests as “SEX, MAGICK & ROCK’N’ROLL” and Personal Interests as “CHAOS MAGICK AND SPIRITUAL ANARCHY”. The ALL CAPS is their emphasis, not mine. I… you know what? I’ll just let their bio speak for itself:


KING SATAN is industrial metal project founded by vocalist and multi-instrumentalist ALEISTER SATAN (a.k.a. fra. Zetekh) at Tampere, Finland in 2015. KING SATAN combines in its electro-industrial music the elements of extreme metal (such as black and death metal) and dark electro (EBM, aggrotech, trance…) which all together marks completely defiance not only towards the conventions and boundaries of the mentioned genres, but also towards the status quo of spiritual life and mental status of modern world. Fuck the rest, Satan is best.

KING SATAN released its first single titled ”Enter Black Fire” in December 2015 which was followed by a demo EP ”We Are King Satan And We Fuck The World” first in digital form and in January 2016 as a CD edition which was sold out very fast during the becoming weeks due to widespread attention not only in native Finland but also aboard. Second single ”Psygnosis” was released in May 2016 together with new music video which was alike ”Enter Black Fire” directed by ALEISTER SATAN himself.

Due to the success of the first singles KING SATAN started playing live in autumn 2016 with great results as gaining a reputation of very powerful, energetic and controversial live band where the worlds of extreme metal and dark electro truly entwines into a very unique and explosive combination of extreme musick. First shows took place in SAARIHELVETTI festivals 2016 at Tampere, Finland and GOTHIC FEST SOFIA Festivals at Sofia, Bulgaria together with couple of single gigs of which all while sharing the stage with such names as PAIN, SHIV-R, SHINING, TURMION KÄTILÖT, HORNA.

KING SATAN’s debut album was recorded during 2016 and is being prepared to be released during 2017 via SATURNAL RECORDS. So debut album on the way and more gigs to come, the saga of KING SATAN has not yet even began!

What a time to be alive! Let’s get this party started!

0:01: *Googles “James Douglas Morrison”, feels incredibly stupid*
0:02: *Suddenly feels a lot less stupid*
0:05: That baphomet has seen some shit.
0:08: Praise Hail Satan? Is King Satan high on those marijuana pills I read about in Newsweek?
0:11: Yes. Yes he is.
0:14: Why so not serious?
0:16: Suddenly Last Supper.
0:21: So this is what Richard Spencer sees when he shuts his eyes.
0:26: “P” stands for “Please make this stop.”
0:32: Giving the finger is the least offensive thing in this video.
0:37: C.G. Jung? Didn’t he open for Steve Aoki on his last tour?
0:40: Drive-by Nazi tank.
0:44: Take me to the Bemusement Park.
0:51: Do you think King Satan had the video of lions having sex in their personal collection or they had to Youtube it?
0:56: King Stock Footage is more like it.
1:01: D.A.R.E. should show this video in elementary schools. You’d have a generation of sobriety.
1:08: And a generation in therapy.
1:16: Rave 4 Satan.
1:21: Shake Ur Butt 4 Satan.
1:26: This video can be used for the “bad tripping” scene in every raunchy teen comedy.
1:32: I see what you did there, King Satan.
1:37: Live shot from Mortiis’s basement.
1:44: See, this is why you go with the water-resistant mascara.
1:55: It seems like the direction for this woman was “Act like someone put fire ants in your undies.”
2:03: If you suffer from epilepsy, I’m sorry. If you don’t suffer from epilepsy, I’m also sorry.
2:10: All the edge of a pair of scissors in pre-school.
2:23: Somewhere, Semargl weeps.
2:28: Or they’re doing Ketamine and grinding on each other all night.
2:41: I think there was an episode of The Outer Limits that was exactly like this.
2:47: Actually, it might have been an episode of the Gilmore Girls.
2:56: I feel the exact same way.
3:05: Didn’t think it was possible, but this video suddenly became even more uncomfortable.
3:16: So is this going to be the big hit in nightclubs all around Finland?
3:20: For kicks, I googled “Finland nightclubs” and here was a Yelp review for a place called Kaiku: “My girls and I roll like we’re single and ready to mingle. In fact, we’re a blonde-tourage of mums who have been living the teenage dream for two decades. Kaiku’s a good place for that sort of thing.” Good to know club culture is dumb everywhere.
3:26: “Nah, I’m good.” – Satan.
3:31: Aaaaaaand that looked suspiciously like a heil.
3:39: If you look closely, you can see the cropping from the green screen.
3:47: Gah! Stop doing that!
3:56: Sweet dance moves, brah.
4:06: Smash the monarchy.
4:09: Wait, Aleister gets to be a king while Katherine only gets to be a boss? That’s not fair.
4:10: Satan is going to be hearing from Human Resources about this!
4:14: Magister Demania? Okay, Jyrki. Whatever you say.
4:22: Throwing up the devil horns after heiling does not make it any better.
4:29: Looks like he forgot the camera was on.
4:34: “No means no!” – Satan
4:38: In the museum of album art, there is the Mona Lisa…if someone had thrown up on it after eating multiple cans of SpaghettiOs.

King Satan’s album King Fucking Satan is out on May 26th via Saturnal Records.

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  • It’s like Rob Zombie meets C&C Music Factory but, like, worse.

    • Rick Chard

      So the girl dancing in the video must be King Satan’s wife.

  • Joaquin Stick

    I don’t like this. Not one bit.

    So edgy that he used Satan in his name, the song title, and the sub-title? Praise Hail Edgelord.

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    Every known cliche covered? Check!

  • Waynecro

    Sunglasses over corpsepaint? Say what you will about this shitty music, but clearly Aleister Satan is a fashion pioneer. That black-metal dude has attitude! *snaps fingers sassily*

    • Hans Copronym

      *swivels neck*

  • Howard Dean

    Like 75% sure this is completely tongue-in-cheek and King Satan is sitting back right now saying “You’ll cowards don’t even absurd Finnish humor.”

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      Think you may be on to something there.

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      I wish…

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      This is basically just te next, edgier steo from Turmion Kätilöt – who are 100% tongue-in-cheek.

      But, Zetekh seems to be an edgy-craphat irl, and the kind of dude who totally would “buy into this shit, man”.

      • Howard Dean

        Oh, that’s too bad. Wasn’t aware of that. Was really hoping this was some next level tongue-in-cheek ridiculous trolling stuff.

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          I mean, it could be, I don’t wanna seem like I know for sure.

      • Joaquin Stick

        The authority has spoken.

        • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

          Chief (Ten) Bear(s) spake.

  • Grvm Spectre ov Derth

    So tired of Satan. You know who’s scarier than Satan? Our future, and possibly wrathful, A.I. superbeing overlords (if this already isn’t a simulation).

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      I’ve a theory that AI’s may already be roaming the internet…

      • i love that theory, and might latch onto it.
        (you mean other than RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan2?)

        • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

          RepostedAvengedSevenfoldFan2 is one of my favourites.

      • Grvm Spectre ov Derth

        I’ve heard that too. Google search engine being an AI entity. I’ve heard theories that they’ve even made Facebook profiles and let AI run them to see if they can blend in with actual human online behavior.

        • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

          I wouldn’t be at all surprised by deliberate efforts like that. Gotta be some serious commercial/military potential there. My thinking though is that the quantities of information and complex programming that make up the internet, not always reliant on human input, may constitute a similar primordial soup to that which apparently first spawned life on Earth. And if by accident something did become self aware, how would we necessarily know?

          Mind you I’m not a programmer so this all may just be total science fiction, I don’t really know.

          • Grvm Spectre ov Derth

            And as we all know via movies, AI doesn’t always realize it is AI.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Plus even if it did, knowing what humans are like it would probably keep fairly quiet.

          • Dumpster Lung

            I can see it now — a living, sentient meme begging for its own death.

        • KJM, Doom Scientist

          At least 50% of Google+ profiles are probably AI.

          • Max

            I’d say about 30% of Disqus profiles were AI, including my own.

            Meet ratio sex girls you like from home.

      • Count_Breznak

        I’ll start concidering that as soon as there is a Civilization game with an actual AI.

  • The Tetrachord of Archytas
  • Guppusmaximus

    ..but also towards the status quo of spiritual life and mental status of modern world.

    It’s funny when people / musicians comment negatively towards modern life yet they still take advantage of the advancements that the modern world provides.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Still better than King 180.

    • Max

      But not better than King Parrot. Or King Diamond. Or King Crimson. Or Kerry King. Or Kingston biscuits.

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        All good points.

  • Decemberklar

    Did I just listen to noise, or noise. I can’t distinguish the two at this moment.

  • Primordial Chaos