Kaizer – Wenn die Sonne untergeht: A Video Breakdown

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Ach du lieber!

In my random scouring and searchings through Youtube, I managed to find a label called darkTunes Music Group. To say that the label is interesting is an understatement. I plan to do a full write-up on the label when I have time (lol), but the one thing I will say here is that the bands on the label have one thing in common: they’re all weird. That might sound harsh, though that is not my intention. It’s just rare for a band on this label to just be a couple of people making music. You don’t really get that with darkTunes. Every band has a gimmick, or a costume, or a theme. Case in point: Kaizer.

Kaizer is a Berlin five-piece…I dunno, goth-y power-y flower-y heavy metal-y type band. Labels and genres are difficult. The one thing I’m positive on, though, is that Kaizer likes them some costumes. Check them out.

0:01: Holy shit, Captain Crunch is in this band!
0:03: And his wife, Lady Crunch!
0:06: And his slacker brother, Fuzzy Crunch!
0:08: And their nosey neighbor, Steampunk Wilhelm!
0:15: And Frenchy LePuke!
0:20: Most of his medals came from having that facial hair in 2017.
0:29: I’m getting a heavy Violet Beauregarde feel from his outfit.
0:35: They’re taking “close-up” to a whole new level.
0:44: He’s probably thinking of inventing a steam-powered canoe.
0:49: I hope they’re playing a real-life version of Battleship.
0:53: Director: “Let’s really get up in their T-zones. I want to see who tweezers their eyebrows!”
1:07: The real question is if that’s his actually ponytail or if it’s attached to the hat.
1:13: He’s just following in his grandfather Colonel Klink’s footsteps.
1:21: “Fuck this shit, I’m going to ride my drum-powered unicycle.”
1:25: Blauer stahl!
1:34: Her gloves help protect her from having to touch these other nerds.
1:42: I’ll be so incredibly happy if the owner of this estate chases them off with a shotgun.
1:47: The red scarf/furry coat is an underutilized look for a reason.
1:53: These guys must slay at all the Renaissance Fairs.
2:02: Guh!
2:08: The water should really get top billing.
2:12: He’s looking at the trees like they stole his girlfriend. I’d believe it.
2:16: That skull cane is the least-ridiculous thing in the shot.
2:25: Someone just hit Auto Contrast on the video.
2:30: That coat is going to stink of mold in a week or two.
2:36: She is going to tear her rotator cuffs with all that arm movement.
2:42: It’s nice they included the cables for his keyboards. Now where exactly are they getting power?
2:48: Maybe the amps are cleverly disguised as trees.
2:52: They’re going to feel so silly when they realize they spelled “Kaiser” wrong.
3:03: The next time someone makes a bassist joke, think of Frenchy LePuke.
3:09: You sure you don’t want to plug your guitar into anything?
3:17: SCHWANZSTUCKER!
3:23: +1 if Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos come in and raid the estate right now.
3:30: I hope Roland paid the band good money for all this advertising.
3:41: And then the sky bled gore.

Kaizer’s album LEBENSZEITVERSCHWENDER is out July 28th via darkTunes Music Group.

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  • It’s Cap’n Crunch, not Captain! And yes, that’s him in the video.

  • Howard Dean

    Is this Nena’s backing band–all grown up? FWIW, Nena is sexier than Lady Crunch.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La4Dcd1aUcE

  • Depechemodeisgangsta

    I think 1:25 is what the kids call “Duckface” so i guess that makes them a “cool” band.

  • “Someone just hit Auto Contrast on the video”
    i’d award a +1 if this was Google Plus.

  • Count_Breznak

    A very aptly named album.

  • Spear

    Video notwithstanding, does anyone actually listen to this sort of thing? It’s just so tepid.

    • many people may use bands like this as a gateway into heavier stuff. then a few weirdos enjoy this and stop progressing.

  • constantine

    He looks like a Prussian David Brent.