Joe is Out of the Office

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Howdy friends. I’m taking a few days off to find something or other out in the wilds of Texas.

I’m not quite sure where I’m going or what I’m doing but that isn’t an entirely new feeling. In the interim, I’m leaving the T ov H in the very capable hands of the Masterlord and W. Our posting schedule will be a little different for this week due to a combination of my laziness and you guys being off your normal work schedules: New posts will go up at 9 AM CST and 1 PM CST. I apologize for the inconvenience and I sincerely thank you for your continued patronage of this particular internet toilet.

I’ll see you guys in the new year.

– xoxo Joe

[W. Note: This is our last official post of the day. We were going to run this at 1, but decided to push it earlier to avoid confusion. Open Swim it up!]

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  • Whoops

    Have fun Jo-Jo.

  • Stockhausen

    May your dreams and travels soar as high as something that is quite high.

    • VVorld Peace

      Hopefully not as high as a hawk.

      • Stockhausen

        The comparative height of a hawk is probably alright. The vicious intent directed at our former president, however, is strictly forbidden.

        • It was too good not to do dis!

          JL

          • Stockhausen

            Hahahahaha. Stockhausen has spoken.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        Not even Road Warrior Hawk?

        • VVorld Peace

          Don’t use the H-word.

          • VVorld Peace

            No, I like this H-word.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I apologize. I didn’t know you hated him.

          • KJM

            Do you not remember that our former Fearless Leader was attacked by a hawk over the Summer?

          • VVorld Peace

            I don’t think he was around then.

    • Howard Dean
      • Stockhausen

        One of the best album titles of all time.

  • Side note: I saw this at the grocery yesterday. All I could think about was Anvils Metal on Metal. It must have been what he craved!! I thought you’ll would enjoy it

    JL

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT3-tyA4KmQ

    • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

      Anvil is the best.

  • Howard Dean

    I just browsed the Dark Descent webshop, since they have a sale in effect until the New Year. I added CDs to my cart, making sure I added only things I really intended to buy.

    My cart total is now $306.58.

    Poverty in this hand, painful pruning of my beloved cart in the other. Will decide later. It’s time for lunch, motherfuckers! Meatloaf and ‘taters!

    • VVorld Peace

      I bought that Swallowed album yesterday because of the sale.

      • Whoops

        I bought it two weeks ago and dig it.

        • VVorld Peace

          Huzzah! We share something in common.

      • Howard Dean

        I’m apparently getting ready to buy 36 albums.

        I’m fucking crazy. Must pare down this list!

    • Dark Descent’s webshop is a black hole in my wallet.

    • I am literally eating meatloaf and taters too. omg weird

      JL

      • Howard Dean

        It was so damn good. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, gravy, and zucchini and summer squash. Now that’s a lunch!

      • Tyree

    • Stockhausen

      What’s taters, precious?

      • Howard Dean

        Mashed potatoes.

        • Stockhausen
          • Howard Dean

            I’ve actually never read The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings series, and I’ve never seen any of the movies. It’s like me and five other people at this point.

          • VVorld Peace

            The Hobbit is the first novel I remember reading by myself as a kid. Up to that point, it was just books about dinosaurs.

          • Tyree

            Same dude.

          • Howard Dean

            Byah! Solidarity. I’d rather just eat beef jerky and listen to war metal.

          • Tyree

            What a fantastic combo!

          • Stockhausen

            Tell you what, I’ll host a watch party in my grave where we can eat beef jerky, watch Lord of the Rings, and play war metal during the battle scenes.

          • Howard Dean

            You had me at grave (Grave?) and beef jerky.

          • Stockhausen

            …and maybe afterward we’ll start a grind band called Grave Jerky.

          • Tyree

            Count me in fuckers.

          • Howard Dean

            That’s a sweet band name. I’ll learn to play an instrument just to be a part of it!

          • Tyree

            Can you just chew Jerky into a pichshifted mic?

          • Howard Dean

            Fuck yes! “Grrrrrrrooooooooocchhhhhooooooommmmmp Grrraaaaaaaaaawwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!”

          • Tyree

            Hahahaha, that would be incredible!

          • Stockhausen

            “This is our song GRAAAAAWNTHTFCHHCCHCH off the album HORRRRRRRRNGGGGTHGGHTHCHCH.”
            *CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK*
            “GRNCHTH!” (song over)

          • KJM

            The Hobbit was one of the first real books I ever read at about age 8.

          • VVorld Peace

            We’re like peas in a pod.

          • KJM

            Indeed.

          • Pagliacci is Kvlt/Elite

            Wow. Same here.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            No. Sorry. Two of them just saw and read them last week. And the rest have been convicts since 1920’s. They are getting pretty old, so what’s yer excuse.

          • Howard Dean

            I prefer Mark Twain and Kurt Vonnegut. And I’ve no interest in watching 6 movies that are spread out over 117 hours of film.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            I like Vonnegut too. Twain not so much. Tolkien isn’t even the best fantasy out there. But I might call myself a fan, without having ti stretch much.

          • Herr Schmitty

            I read all the books. Watched 0 of the movies.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            I have all the versions of all the movies. I’ve seen all the extras. I have all the books. In multiple languages, two different translations in Finnish. I have owned/played every game ever released even slightly hinting at one of the characters. Oh, and when I say all the books, I mean every book ever hinting at any Tolkien.

            But I see your side, I think.

          • Whoops

            Me neither, sis. Let’s hug.

          • Howard Dean

            Solidarity, Death/Anus. Void embrace!

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            I haven’t either. Fuck it, amirite?

          • Howard Dean

            You are indeed correct, Monarch of the Intercourse Massif.

      • newb

        JL

      • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

        Po-ta-toes. Boil ’em, smash ’em, stick ’em in a stew.

        • Stockhausen

          Someone’s with me!

          • VVorld Peace

            THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD!

          • Stockhausen

            MAN-FLESH.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            MEAT’S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!

          • Stockhausen

            A red sun rises. Blood has been spilled this night.

          • VVorld Peace
          • made it till 2:14.

            JL

          • VVorld Peace

            Noob.

          • Stockhausen

            Oh my.

          • VVorld Peace

            I’m really surprised you’ve never seen this.

          • Stockhausen

            If I come across remixes of things (like the original, non 10 hour version of this), I tend to avoid it with all the intent I can muster. This, however, is hilarious.

          • VVorld Peace

            I’m with you on most remixes being bunk. This is a treasure, though.

          • This happens to my go to for lolz

            JL

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWFBqiUgspg

          • VVorld Peace

            Shut up, woman; get on my horse!

          • VVorld Peace
          • SOLID, INDEED

            JL

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Didn’t someone here mention once listening to that in its entirety while working?

          • (possibly me)

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            That’s pretty epic. How did you avoid biting your own ears off?

          • I didn’t actually listen to the whole thing, probably just about 30 minutes of it, haha. Stuff like that can put me in a trance when I’m working on tedious things like doing digital color and inking.

          • VVorld Peace

            I think it was Leif Bearikson. I’ve made it through a few hours, but I’m pretty sure he swallowed the whole thing.

          • Whoops
          • Stockhausen

            A classic. Anyone should be able to get behind this.

          • Stockhausen

            Trvly.

          • Bunk Moreland

            Most remixes are me.

          • Stockhausen

            Nailed it.

          • dear lord man, i haven’t laughed this hard in a while.

          • VVorld Peace

            I’m glad you enjoyed!

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
          • Tyree

            Wow. Those vocals are insane.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            You haven’t heard Isengard?

          • Tyree

            I honestly have not given this project a chance. Not sure why since it is Fenriz. Folk Black Metal is can be a hit or miss for me, but this is fucking killer. Glad you posted this.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Both releases rule, I think I like the second album, Hostmorke even more.

          • Tyree

            Excellent. I got some homework to do this week.

      • KJM

        Po-ta-toes?!!
        Boil ’em!
        Mash ’em
        Stick ’em in a stew!

        • Whoops

          The Bear did it first!

          • Stockhausen

            Nordling was first, but KJM had a little more gusto. This is a tough call.

          • Whoops

            I’m a biased bastard, so I’ll go with my fellow countryman,

          • KJM

            Damned Nationalist…

          • Whoops

            Dan weedwacker!

    • Edward #negrod4eva

      I’m going to attempt to smartly tackle my preference for digital media in my next post for this site, while referencing you and other esteemed members of our community in a totally respectful manner. Lol.

      • VVorld Peace

        I bought several albums with Chrimbus money, Excited for my physical copies of Cloak of Altering and The Mother of Virtues to arrive.

        • Edward #negrod4eva

          Two fantastic records.

        • Stockhausen

          I really want a physical of Plague Beasts. I have The Mother and Virtues and I like to pet it before going to bed.

          • upon first read, i thought you were saying you play The Mother of Virtues (by Pyrrhon) before going to bed. like it helps you fall asleep or something.

          • Stockhausen

            No dude, that would be weird. I just pet the case while I hold it in my arms and sing songs to it.

      • Howard Dean

        I look forward to it! Let me know if I can answer any questions, and don’t be afraid to call me a no good poopy-pants old-school curmudgeon with a hard on for CDs.

      • KJM

        16/44 Wav files or GTFO.

  • Stockhausen

    I can’t remember where if one of you jabronis turned me onto this group, or if I came across them in a Bandcamp binge that was started by one of you jabronis. Anyway, they have a new track up, and it’s well-named (warning: extremely not metal).

    https://zhaoze.bandcamp.com

  • I really want to go to my record store and buy some shit with my xmas money/holiday pay but it’s located in the tenth biggest mall in the country and I should probably avoid it like the plague until the holidays are over. First world problems.

    • Howard Dean

      Pistol whip the bastards!

  • I’m back in the office for 3 hours and I already want leave.

    • Solid. I have done 15 mins worth of work in a 5 hour period. My day is stacking up quite well..

      JL

  • I got a vinyl player for Christmas. I want to buy all the vinyl. I will kill your mother for Cynic’s Focus on vinyl.

    • Stockhausen

      I finally replaced my busted turntable for Christmas, and I’ve been spinning mad amounts of Tom Waits.

      • Yeah when I first set it up, I did it wrong, and it wouldn’t play. Finally figured it out, first record I played on it was, naturally, Cynic’s Traced In Air

        • Stockhausen

          Excellent choice. My mom was also way too nice and got me a hefty gift certificate to my record store, and I’ll probably head down there later and blow it all.

          • Nice! I only got two gift cards (Target / Best Buy).I have no idea what to do with them.

            Some friends and I have joked about trying to go into a store with a gift card and buying a gift card of the EXACT same type. like buying a $25 target gift card using a $25 target gift card.

          • Stockhausen

            Haha. Do it. Then come back to the same register with $25 worth of Tic Tacs.

          • But then, instead of paying with the $25 gift card, you pay with exact change in nickels.

          • Stockhausen

            I like the way you think, Ms. Kvlter.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            This just keeps getting better and better.

          • Then go to the service counter, return the Tic Tacs, ask for change in pennies. Then go the coin counter/machine to count the coins – pay the fee to count the coins. Get cash back that is less than 25 dollars. Go back to the service counter and get exact change in nickels only to go back to buy less Tic Tacs than before. Repeat until nausea ensues.

            JL

          • Stockhausen

            Repeat until you only have money for one box of Tic Tacs, then pay with the gift card. After the transaction, use the nickels to put that amount back on your gift card. With the newly recharged gift card, buy a 25 dollar gift card. Return the Tic Tacs.

          • Tyree

            Randall Thor?

          • Stockhausen

            Hahahahaha.

          • Tyree

            Seriously though!

          • Scrimm

            Use the target one and just buy all toilet paper with it.

          • This takes the work of a pro. First, I’ll choose an uncomfortable looking outfit. Perhaps some jean short shorts with the pockets hanging out and a blood stain on the crotch. And a long sleeve flannel on top.

            Part 1 is relatively normal. Walk inside, go to the register, and ask to buy a $25 gift card with my $25 gift card. No problem. This is where my work begins.

            Then, run enough laps around the parking lot to get ultra sweaty, and also so that everyone who is inside Target when I make my move has seen me.

            When I finally walk in, I am dripping in sweat, and probably have unbuttoned at least half of my flannel. Back sweat clings my shirt to me tightly like a smothering lover. I dart hurriedly towards the toilet paper, panting loudly. After figuring out how much toilet paper i can get for 25 dollars, I throw it all in my cart, eyes darting back and forth frantically.

            When I reach the register, immediately burst out “I HAVE A GIFT CARD” while maintaining fierce eye contact with the person behind the register. This is the same cashier who exchanged my gift card earlier. it’s been 20 minutes.

            The most important part is that until you turn to leave the store, you must NEVER break eye contact. Your breathing must be ragged, and your eyes wide.

            This is how you properly use a $25 Target gift card.

          • Scrimm

            This would be classic. Must have video.

  • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

    Needs more musiqq. Herpaderpaderp.
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H96ROmQokbk

  • VVorld Peace

    So, my brothers in law bought me Smash Bros. for 3ds. Anyone wanna play?

    • Stockhausen

      I’ll be at your place in 20 minutes.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

        Will you guys wait for me?

        • VVorld Peace

          I’ll put the kettle on.

    • Scrimm

      I got pretty good at that game at my old job. I had to stop though cause this autistic kid kept beating my ass and I almost cussed out loud a few times.

      • VVorld Peace

        Hahahaha. Oh man. Nothing worse than losing a fighting game to someone you think you could beat.

        • Scrimm

          Yes I don’t take it very well. Almost all the kids I worked with that had that condition were KILLERS at video games.

          • VVorld Peace

            Interesting. Do you think it’s because it became an object of very intense focus for them?

          • Scrimm

            Somewhat I do. You could really watch them and they were very focused on them. Most of them are super smart it just comes out in different ways and they could memorize the motions of playing games very well. My first school we had a 5 year old that was like a savant. There was a guy who worked there who was a lifelong chess nut and this little kid used to destroy him without fail everysingle time they played, but he couldn’t grasp UNO.

      • Howard Dean

        Autism speaks! Loudly!!

        • Scrimm

          Very loudly, and sometimes violently. I had to take a few down and some of them were quite big.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      I’ll have to buy it first. I have been wanting it quite a bit though.

    • Whoops

      I could rek you in Pokemon if you’d have that.

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        I have Pokemon X somewhere. I’d obliterate you with my level 45 Porygon m8.

        • Whoops

          My Ev and Iv trained level 100 Conkeldurr disagrees with you.

        • is that how a racist pronounces “polygon”?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            No, that’s what the Pokemon is called.

      • VVorld Peace

        Two of 3 editors have been playing Emerald emulators.

  • Tyree
      • Tyree

        Yeah. Take that Mitchell!

    • Scrimm

      One of the most underrated movies of all time. Just gets better and better.

      • Tyree

        One of the most re-watchable movies of all time. So damn funny!

        • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

          What movie is this. I wants to watch it now.

        • Scrimm

          I know! I went to the theatres a few times, and somehow I ended up with two copies on dvd. Sing the song boys!!

      • what is wrong with his nose?

        JL

        • Scrimm

          It got bit off by a saigon whore. That was his last movie.

    • any of you bros seen Norm MacDonald live? man is a GENIUS. one of the funniest.

      • Tyree

        Super dry! A lot of his humor goes right over peoples heads. I for one love it though.

      • Scrimm

        Just the videos. Classic.

        • Between The Buried & Smee
          • Scrimm

            HAHAHAHAHA I’ve never seen that one.

          • Tyree

            He’s always great with Conan.

          • Scrimm

            I used to watch Conan all the time. Next to Triumph this was probably my favorite moment from the show. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJx9BNbzHKY

          • Tyree

            HAHAHA! That was incredible. I wish I could watch more older Conan episodes like this.

          • Scrimm

            They were great back in the day. Even Max Weinberg had some really funny moments.

          • Tyree

            No stopping me this time, Smee. This is it. Don’t make a move Smee, not a step. My finger’s on the trigger. Don’t try to stop me, Smee.

          • Between The Buried & Smee

            Oh, not again.

          • Tyree

            Don’t you dare try to stop me this time, Smee, try to stop me. Smee, you’d better get up off your ass. Get over here, Smee!

          • Between The Buried & Smee

            I’m coming. I’m coming.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            This guy will stop you with his speed. Don’t fuck with Chris Johnson Tyree. He’s serious.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1LySBd9Rpo

          • Tyree

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            Don’t mess with Chris Johnson. I’m serious. He fucked up my NFL career and made me name synonymous with the phrase draft bust.

      • KJM

        I hope it’s funnier than the stuff he did on SNL.

      • Virgil the Ghost Poet

        He’s one of my favorites. Only saw him on TV/DVD though. I did see Mitch Hedberg live though.

      • I saw him a few years ago. He was set to do an hour and just kept going for another 45 minutes. Dude is my favorite.

        • welcome back joe! now i get to go through all your new comments…
          i saw him a few years ago on a saturday night and laughed my nuts off. my buddy that went with me had seem him the night before, and stated that both sets were completely different!!

          • He seems to make things up as he goes along. It’s pretty impressive!

    • Rob Ford celebrating his retirement? ^^^^^

    • Bronan The Motherfukker said ur a bunch ov elitists now! Cool m/

      *flush*

  • Whoops

    I’m going to buy a hammered dulcimer. It will make me happy

    • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

      But will you play it.

      • Whoops

        I’m not a fortune teller.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

          Misfortuneteller?

          • Whoops

            I can tell that I’m about to cut a bitch.

    • VVorld Peace

      Are you going to be the next Botanist?

  • Æ (Justin Nowlin)

    Have fun Joe!

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Pondering what albums to buy for my first New Year listening. Probably some or other Striborg plus Evangelista, unless I happen to be drinking, in which case it could be anything.

  • this is no inconvenience, Papa @joethrashnkill:disqus! tis better to have less content than no content at all.
    and i’m sure we’ll all do our part in keeping the seat warm with our relevant circkejerking!

    • Senior Santiago!!!

      JL

    • VVorld Peace

      I’d expect we’re all pros at the ol’ “play with a friend” by now.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      Jimmy! Have you heard my podcast yet?

      • Whoops

        You have a podcast?

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan

          Yes I do. Here’s a link.

          https://soundcloud.com/stream

          • Whoops

            I’m not sure if the link works. It just takes me to a pop song

          • shake it off

          • Whoops

            You dirty weasel!

          • Tyree
          • I absolutely hate indie hipster faux music. But this gal has some serious pipes. Her live (video) performances are killer.

            Did I mention I hate hipsters? lol

            JL

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            Damnit Tyree! Do you want me to say that I like these people too? I do like these people but I’m not a hipster like most of their fans.

          • Tyree

            Ha, yeah. Sorry dude.

          • pls fix the link JJD! we need to hear this!!

          • Whoops

            It’s fixed Jimmy

          • did you see @Stockhausen:disqus’s recommendation on the other page?
            http://zhaoze.bandcamp.com
            i bet you’d dig it!

          • Whoops

            Dig I do

          • edit: link broken

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            Damnit.

    • Stockhausen

      STAY ON TOPIC, JIMMY.

    • Scrimm

      I like the mew moniker.

  • KJM

    Thanx fer the thread, dudes.

  • KJM

    ^_^

  • Akercocke ov Steele

    Joe is taking break from the daily grind, hopefully he will not take a break from grind.

  • Enjoy, and definitely grab some BBQ and Mexican food out there! Some of the best eats I’ve ever had in my life.

  • Whoops

    The weather today has been excellent. -22 celsius is the perfect temperature.

    • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

      Warrmmm!

      (Here, that is, only -12 today)

      • Whoops

        Nordling Rites Ov Shrunken Testicles.
        Only -12? Get rekt hesalainen riistoporvari!

        • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

          (You might want to refresh)

          Nordling Rites ov Swollen Prostate

          • Whoops

            I did. You should also

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            It’s all coming to me now.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

          This heat is sucking all the moisture from my fur.

          I need to get back to Utsjoki.

    • Tyree
    • That reminds me, I gotta rib my friends back in Chicago about the weather there! The weather here is about 70, and over there is, well, Chicago in December weather (aka, frostbite in 20 minutes).

  • CyberneticOrganism
  • In more entertaining news, a guy died in the back of a police cruiser after eating a sack of cocaine out of his brother’s ass crack (with video goodness). I think we have our winners for the Darwin Award Of The Year!

    http://blastandask.com/man-dies-eating-cocaine-brothers-butt-video/

  • NefariousDude

    Any of u guys use the new BIAS amp modeler for iPad? I’m gonna be sitting down with it later today to craft some tone. Sorry it’s not axefx or analog you elitist fux

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    Be careful out there Joe, especially if you happen to venture into East Texas, so I’ve been told.

    • He’s most likely white, so as long as he avoids the meth labs and doesn’t have an Obama/Biden bumper sticker, he should be fine.

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        the Bama sticker would not be a good move…lol!

  • Tyree
    • I expected so much more out of that movie.

      • Tyree

        James Franco gets stuck and then cuts his arm off. The End.

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        Is it just me or is Danny Boyle just not that great at anything that doesn’t involve violent or otherwise addled Scottish people? Shallow Grave was great, Trainspotting was even better, but everything since then has just felt like trying on different genres for size.

        • Trainspotting sucked, IMHO.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I can sort of see not liking it. For me its one of the few great drug movies. Too many are glorified after school specials like Requiem for a Dream or just juvenile/obnoxious like Spun. I’ve never known any heroin users but from spending a lot of time around alcoholics, cokeheads and speedfreaks Trainspotting gets the mix of horror and absurd humour of addiction just right.

          • Read ‘Leaving Las Vegas’. The book is way better than the movie.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I’ll give it a look. I do love the film, but ultimately I think the whole sort of scene is best in literary form.

          • The book is way different, and tells why Ben was wanting to kill himself. The film, since the author killed himself shortly before the film was made, is an homage (with several of his personal belongings being used in the film) to his life rather than keeping to the book.

            The book is easily one of the most poetic and dark books you’ll ever read, trust me. I ordered ‘Better’, a book of his that got released 20 years after his death. Such a poetic and magnificent author.

          • KJM

            The darkest, most depressing drug movie I’ve ever seen is ‘Panic In Needle Park’ with Al Pacino, makes both ‘Requiem’ and ‘Trainspotting’ look like My Little Pony.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            That sounds very depressing.

          • KJM

            It is. I’ve only seen it once and have no desire to see it again despite the fact that it’s a good movie.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            I’ll have to watch it.

          • KJM

            Al Pacino(pre-Godfather) and Kitty Wynn are excellent. Just make sure you have something to cheer you up after.

          • Never heard of that one. Might have to check it out sometime.

          • KJM

            It’s the movie that Coppola screened for Paramount to prove that Al Pacino was good enough to play Michael Corleone.

          • KJM

            Requiem is far better than Trainspotting IMO. Unfortunately I’ve known a few junkies and Requiem is much closer to the mark than Trainspotting is. Ellen Burstyn should’ve won the Oscar that year but I guess the Academy was more interested in Julia Roberts’ boobs.

          • Tyree

            Requiem, is great!

          • KJM

            It’s really more of a horror movie than a drama.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Ellen Burstyn is excellent in Requiem, really the only part that doesn’t collapse into bathos for me. I used to find it really powerful but nowadays just can’t take it seriously, just seems like pretty people and pretty pictures playing at being dark. Fun to see, but just eye candy really.

          • KJM

            Guess we’ll have to agree to disagree(bigtime) on this one.

            A friend once described Trainspotting as “a Calvin Klein infomercial for smack”, spot on IMO.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Hah, I do recall some of the posters looking a bit like underwear adverts. But also passages of quite powerful unpleasantness. I think Requiem tried for that with stuff like the ass to ass scene, but by that point I was just rolling my eyes. To be honest, I don’t think Aronofsky is my kind of serious film maker, I’ve not seen The Wrestler or Noah but I find the rest has little to no feel for subject matter, just surfaces. Also, I’m biased by my love of the source novel. The film isn’t a bad adaptation as they go, but I don’t think any film maker can capture Hubert Selby Jr.’s immersive nightmarishness.

          • KJM

            Ah, you’ve read the book. That’ll do it. I haven’t so I don’t have strong feelings about it.

            Haven’t seen Noah and probably won’t but I enjoyed The Wrestler a lot. It helps that I’m a pro wrestling fan to begin with. I also enjoyed Pi quite a bit. The only film I’ve seen of his that bored me was Black Swan. Blegh.

          • KJM

            Agree 100%, total snoozefest.

        • KJM

          Strangely enough, I liked Sunshine. It kind of fell apart at the end but I still enjoyed it.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            I don’t mind Sunshine, it definitely has its moments. But my moderate feelings on it have been soured by coming across too many people hailing it to the rafters as a classic of thinking person’s sci fi.

          • KJM

            Oh I definitely don’t like it THAT much. 2001 or Solaris(1972) it ain’t.

          • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

            Shamefully I’ve not seen Solaris yet. On my list though. 2001 is probably my favourite sci fi film, even though I don’t hugely tend to go for classic cinema it’s just mesmerising.

  • Scrimm

    I can’t stop watching this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgX_4rLzJWw

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    —-
    as the wizard plays the guitar on the mountain—before the entire earth

    mesmerized heaven—-and crowds of billions

    all 3 at once
    1st vid 75%vol
    2nd vid 100%
    3rd vid 100%

    http://youtu.be/CQBZ1v9f1ok

    http://youtu.be/tXElbAtFJw4

    http://youtu.be/ruhbLVrLISU

  • J.R.

    I love stories where the characters set off on adventure due to some nameless feeling.
    I also like in Metalocalype when Nathan has those whale dreams and he’s just floating in the presence of the incomprehesible vast whale god. Stuff’s tight yo

  • Whoops

    Huh, it seems like Ghost (yes, the shitty one) will release a new album next year. Everyone with a good taste in music cries. All dreams are destroyed.

    • @thecultoftheblueoyster:disqus, @disqus_VdRaJdjIv2:disqus (right?), and i will be all over it.

      • Whoops

        Darn you guys!

      • Scrimm

        Off topic but I have been revisiting Origin’s catalog after hearing your opinion of Omnipresent.

        • judges? “we’ll allow it”.
          i hope i’m not steering you wrong!!

          • Scrimm

            No, I’ve bought every album since Informitas Infinitas Inhumanitus but they have just never really clicked with me till this year. I was just trying to see where you got such a low opinion of the new album.

        • Lacertilian

          Entity is enough for me.
          It seems to combine everything I like about Origin in one neat package. Although, I still have a couple of tracks from Antithesis on my phone.

          • Scrimm

            I think at the moment Antithesis is tops for me, but thats a pretty slim margin.

      • KJM

        Indeed I will. Hope it’s as good as the 1st two discs.

        • the amount of complaining within the metal community will be legendary.

          • KJM

            I will be happy to buy them all tubes of Preparation H if it will help with the butthurt.

      • KJM

        Heck, my freakin’ Mom wants to go with me next time Ghost comes to town and she usually only likes Doo Wop and other older music.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      I don’t mind Ghost, they ain’t hurting nobody.

    • BEVRDBEVRD

      Dawnbringer is what Ghost should have been.

    • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

      Yay! I’m so excited!

    • Lacertilian

      I’ve never listened to them, what’s the big deal about them?
      Costumes or something?

      • KJM

        If you like 70s style Blue Oyster Cult w/extra spooky cheese, you’ll like Ghost. If not, you won’t.

        • Lacertilian

          I like BOC but some of their stuff is too cheesy for me. Guess I’ll pass on Ghost. Cheers.

          • we ain’t letting you off the hook that easily…
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Mbxe33BYW8

          • KJM

            Strangely enough this is my least favorite song by them, also don’t care for either ‘Prime Mover’ or ‘Monstrance Clock’.

          • Lacertilian

            I made it to 1:40.
            Is that good enough?
            *looks toward sky yelling ‘What more do you want from me?*

          • you did more than Conan would have.
            <3

        • but why on Earth does Infestissumam have the “Parental Advisory Explicit Language” sticker on Amazon?!?!?!?!?!?!

          • KJM

            Uptight Catholics?

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Wait, so we can just dl like, all the Biolich? I’m uncomfortably sober right now but this makes my evening a little more exciting. Also, while I’m here, what are some good bands on the weird side of grind? Like Cephalic Carnage and stuffs?

  • KJM

    Fucking scumbag scalpers are already selling EW tickets on Ebay for at least $100 a pop. I hope their dicks/vaginas rot and fall off.

  • BEVRDBEVRD

    This new job is pretty cool. A little more technical, but a bit less physical than my old job. Still seems fun though.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    I’m going to watch a weird Brazilian softcore/horror hybrid involving a talking plant.

    • Youtube it to me!

      • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

        Got it from veehd rather than Youtube, A Reencarnacao do Sexo is the name. Never gets quite as weird or wild as I would have liked but still pretty weird, with plenty of boobs and a bit of blood. I’d give it around a 6/10.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    post 911truth–overflow–and the scattering of ideas–

    all at once–
    1st vid muted
    2nd vid 50%vol
    3rd vid 100%vol

    http://youtu.be/jNNgnBQnivo

    http://youtu.be/UofocL1vcA8

    http://youtu.be/7QF_n7aGogM

  • Jointsalot

    The toilet has worked real hard this year. Enjoy your new years celebrations.

  • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

    Fuck this person and their shitty cover of I’d Love To Change The World. You do not turn a classic song like that into a shitty pop song! It’s even worse than that cover of Let’s Dance linked below. Fuck hipsters turning classic songs into shitty pop songs!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvYgbXipvP8

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbxQ9bvdZgU