Jinjer – I Speak Astronomy: A Video Breakdown

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Great, another language I don’t understand.

Jinjer is a Ukranian metal band currently on Napalm Records. While it’s certainly easy to make fun of the band’s name (are they going on tour with Synamyn, etc.), I can let the band explain the name via their own website:

“Originally there wasn’t much sense or meaning in the name of JINJER. That was simply a word easy to say and to remember, also it looked cool in written. However, in some time people started associating “JINJER” with the sound of a distorted guitar and the idea was adopted by the band too.”

I appreciate the honesty. Naming a band is hard these days. It feels like everything has been already used. At least they managed to not include “witch” or “wolf” in their name. Maybe that’s because Ginger Witch is a part of the Harry Potter universe and Gingerwolf (check ’em out, they’re pretty good!) was already taken.

Regardless of their name, I’m interested in hearing what a Ukranian band has to say. Their ongoing conflict with real-life supervillian and Trump BFF Vlady Putin must fuel a lot of creative fires. They must have a lot to say, being on the front lines of social and political unrest. This video should be interesting, and I… oh wait. This is the same band that had a staring contest with a dog in their last video. Hmmm. Alright, let’s take a look.

0:00: Six and a half minutes? Crud on a cupcake.
0:03: Can’t we hire an intern to do these?
0:11: In space, no one can hear you eat Butterfinger BB’s.
0:16: Or space doody. Only one way to find out.
0:22: Well, the budget has certainly increased since their last video.
0:26: Though I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.
0:34: Somehow, the shaking camera makes this situation even less believable.
0:42: Weedily Deedily: The Final Frontier.
0:53: Ukraine’s “Send Bros To Space” program is light years ahead of NASA.
1:04: She’s The Matrix. Maybe she knows the singer from Gemini Syndrome.
1:07: She’s got a serious case of “Jell-O arms.” Wiggling all around and stuff.
1:15: At least she has a scarf on.
1:21: Space can be chilly.
1:28: Those solar winds can really gain speed out there.
1:37: Holy Otep of..of…crap, what rhymes with “Otep”?
1:42: And don’t say “Notep.” That doesn’t count.
1:45: This is where I’d make a Prometheus reference, but I never saw the movie, so make it yourself.
1:57: Wearing all black was probably a bad idea.
2:05: All I’m hearing is 0011010100101011010101001.
2:11: Miss, don’t look, but there is a drummer right behind you.
2:21: Totally natural pose.
2:27: Them’s are some Aversions Crown-size ear plugs.
2:35: Hope some space Butterfinger BB’s don’t get stuck in them.
2:47: TOO CLOSE!
2:52: So how does one speak astronomically?
2:59: Is it passed down from generation to generation?
3:05: Or can I just get an Astronomic Rosetta Stone?
3:09: Hey, it’s one of those cell phone coverage maps they show in Verizon commercials.
3:23: Random costume changes are go!
3:31: I feel like watching Species now for some reason.
3:42: So if I understand this right, the space doo-doo represents Putin.
3:49: Huh. That was weird.
3:57: Yup. Still weird.
4:05: Now I want to watch Tron.
4:10: The original, of course.
4:21: This video contains more unnecessary arm movements than two nerds slap-fighting.
4:34: Giant Space Meteors for Harambe.
4:42: Let’s be honest: If we all spoke astronomy, all we would say is “Uranus” over and over.
4:56: I wonder what that dog from their previous video is up to.
5:04: I hope he goes on lots of fun walks and has lots of yummy food.
5:14: Raise your hands in the arm and move them around unnecessarily like you just don’t care.
5:34: Space butt to space butt action.
5:40: I’m no Neal DeGrasse Tyson, but I don’t think that’s how space works.
5:53: The Milky Way is looking extra milky today.
6:01: I had a feeling this was an Ingwar Dovgoteles production.
6:06: Classic Ingwar Dovgoteles.

Jinjer’s album King Of Everything is out now via Napalm Records.

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  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Napalm. Makes sense.

  • Guppusmaximus

    Jinjers don’t have souls!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkbawBBj6_0

    • Elegant Gazing Globe

      Shabubu vouch for this

  • Joaquin Stick

    That is one hella obscure Potter reference.

    But have you ever seen lolbuttz…in space?

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
    • Waynecro

      Dude, I think I was in a band with that guy when I was 16. He bought me my first bottle of whiskey.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        Speaking of famous people we know my dad’s friend is friends with Josh Freese.

        • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra
          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            He is in Devo and The Vandals and was a member of Guns N Roses for a short time among others.

          • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

            Oh!

          • brokensnow

            One of the best and most sought after drummers alive.

        • Elizabeth Short

          Sigh…I grew up with the jerkoffs that are (mostly still) in Slipknot. A couple of them are actually okay people.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            Which ones were okay people? Also how did you grow up with them?

          • Elizabeth Short

            I grew up in Des Moines and was part of the music scene back then. Joey was a good guy back before all the liquor and coke. Paul was one of the nicest guys I’ve ever known. Shawn’s an insane person, Corey is actually a really nice guy but likes the sound of his own voice way too goddamn much, Craig’s a serial killer, and Mic is a complete douchebag and I’m glad his brother (who is actually a pretty all right dude) stabbed him in the back of his massive, awful head.

    • Eliza

      Truly a hidden gem.

    • Guppusmaximus

      Well, at least we now know that James Labrie’s father wasn’t the talented parent…

      • Jennifermwilloughby1

        <<u:i. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::::!!bz724a:….,….

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain
      • Holy shit indeed.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          And the couple is from Indiana too. Figures.

  • Abradolf Lincler

    its been a while since ive worked with cyrillic but i dont think they even have a hard consonant J sound like we do. maybe t_d can correct me

    • One letter has a “Zh” sound which tends to be used for J’s.

    • tertius_decimus

      Clear “ж” sounds mellow compared to “j”.
      Commonly used in Ukrainian “дж” still sounds not as staccato, high pitch and sharp as “j” in English.

    • Hey, you see that AA has that Veles / Legion split? It’s in CD format, but it’s a hard split to come by and it’s really fucking good.

      • Abradolf Lincler

        i did see that but i HATE cds. maybe just pray for a repress

        • I don’t mind CD’s, but that’s one I’d much rather have on wax. The Veles side is really incredible.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            Their use of atmosphere is a lot different than some of the other black metal that’s out there, I think the only other band that really does that style is AA

          • I can see that. I’d also say Infernum and early Graveland as well.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            I’m not sure if HH have any more of them but I’m trying to get as many of those grave land early albums as I can on wax

          • Yeah, they tend to sell out fast. I got my two favorite at least. In the Glare of Burning Churches and The Celtic Winter.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            Very nice man I wanted to get following the voice of blood, which I think is my favorite

          • Rad, I also really like Thousand Swords.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            Although I think my next wax purchase will be at the record store because they still had some black witchery LP and they still had that orange hooded Menace LP that I was looking at a year ago

          • It’s probably the Upheaval of Satanic Might wax. That one has been out for a while now. I really wish they would repress Desecration of the Holy Kingdom though.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            It was definitely that one but I think they had two but I’m not quite sure

          • I’m only seeing that one.

          • Abradolf Lincler

            Who knows I’ll probably hit up the store on Saturday after work and see what I can dig out of the used record pile

  • Waynecro

    This song has a surprisingly low suck quotient for a video featured in A Video Breakdown.

    • Eliza

      It’s just more subdued.

  • Do watch the other vid 365 linked with the stare down contest, worth it.

  • Eliza

    Astronomy is not a language.

    • Abradolf Lincler

      tell that to Dragonland . . .
      https://youtu.be/iYAQRDQzzPw

    • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

      THE CLOCK STRIKES TWELVE AND THE MOONDROP BURSTS

  • Paddlin’ Rites ov Beargod

    These fellers used to maje decent music, I even dared to cultivate hope they’d evolve towards more melodic, proggy-goodness that they kept hinting at.
    Shame. This sucks. The whole record sucks.

  • 365ChaosRiddenDays

    According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star you’re actually million of years too late, that star is dead, just like the dream of Jinjer to make good music.

  • BobLoblaw

    Just Jinjer

    • CyberneticOrganism

      Ukrainian Trailer Park Boys

      • BobLoblaw

        *south african

        • CyberneticOrganism

          Oops, my GPS coordinates must be miscalibrated. *smashes head against wall*

  • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

    Actually enjoying this song. Sounds a lot like Meshuggah without the drill sergeant vocals, and definitely beats listening to Mgla.

    • Abradolf Lincler

      worst comment ever

      • Brock Lesner’s Oily Wonderbra

        *takes a bow*

  • tertius_decimus

    Given that in the clip musicians are standing upright, there’s a gravity. How then small chunks of rocks are revolving around the asteroid they are onto?

    • Abradolf Lincler

      faked like the moon landing