JAG’s Albums of the Year (30 Years Ago)

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1984 was a great year for heavy metal and rock music in general. I’m come here, from thirty years in the past, to give you ten loud examples why. (Also see: midlife crisis.)

Accept – Balls to the Wall

cassette

Technically Balls to the Wall was a late-1983 release in Accept’s homeland of Deutschland. Here in the States, however, it was released in early 1984 by it’s North American distributor Portrait Records. Accept’s fifth studio album solidified them as a major force in the world of heavy metal…and it’s a stone-cold classic that blows speakers to this day. The title track alone is a heavy metal anthem right up there with the likes of Metal Health. Not only is Balls to the Wall one of the best albums of 1984 it is one of the best heavy metal albums of all time.

W.A.S.P. – W.A.S.P.

wasp

Yours truly owned this on cassette when it was released…and I knew of hardly anything heavier or nastier than W.A.S.P.’s self-titled debut  Just looking at the photos of Blackie Lawless, Chris Holmes, Tony Richards, and Randy Piper in the multi-panel J-card was enough to tell a young-JAG what he had in his hands. Playing the tape itself was a revelation. W.A.S.P. embodied the spirit of heavy metal in a way that few others of the era could…and they were the prime target for record-burning evangelical dickwads all over the U.S. Unlike many performers who sing and play an instrument, Blackie Lawless can do both live and still sound like a pro. His evil-rasp vocal style is immediately recognizable…and inimitable.

Quiet Riot – Condition Critical

QR CC

Known as the first heavy metal band to have an album chart at number one. Quiet Riot was also JAG’s first favorite band…and first ever concert in 1984. Condition Critical was for QR a critical faliure, but it was a worthy follow-up to 1983’s surpirse-Billboard-busting Metal Health. Chock full of party tunes…and yet another Slade-cover (Mama Weer All Crazee Now,) Condition Critical only moved a little over two million units…big disappointment, I guess. Career-wise it was all downhill from here for QR…but this album was nevertheless a great snapshot of them still at the top. Title track hits hard…turn it up.

Judas Priest – Defenders of the Faith

slade

I think I’m one of the few who thought Judas Priest’s 1982 album Screaming for Vengeance was mediocre even at its best. 1984’s Defenders of the Faith was, in my opinion, a true heavy metal masterpiece. I actually hate myself a little for not having an original pressing in my record collection. Essential traditional metal that holds up well three decades later. Anthems like The Sentinel are so metal that they can’t be out-metaled by any band of today…no matter how “brutal.”

Metallica – Ride the Lightning

metallica

Before turning into a Load (of shit) in the nineties, Metallica pretty much ruled the eighties as the most formidable heavy metal band ever. My awareness of Ride the Lightning occurred sometime prior to the release of Master of Puppets in ‘86. I probably didn’t hear it until ’85 but I can’t be sure anymore. It doesn’t really matter what Metallica does these days…albums like Ride the Lightning can never be disrespected. Metallica made some of the greatest heavy metal albums ever put to 2 1/2 inch tape…Ride the Lightning is among the best of the very best ever.

Whitesnake – Slide It In

cassette

Many people in The States weren’t even aware of Whitesnake’s existence prior to their self-titled 1987 album. Once a bluesy cock-rocking outfit, 1984’s Slide It In saw Whitesnake starting to slowly turn hair metal (especially so on the version released in the United States. John Sykes was brought in to overdub most of the guitar solos to make the album more marketable to a US audience.) Shit, I never even heard the original mix until recently. As a bloody Yank wanker, I still prefer the US-mix…but that’s what I’m used to. David Coverdale sure wrote an awful lot of songs about chasing poon but he was a terrific frontman with a distinctive voice. After seeing them open for Quiet Riot in ’84 I’ve been a believer ever since.

Dio – The Last in Line

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Who doesn’t like Dio? Get up and get the hell out right now. The Little Man with the Big Voice followed up his excellent solo-debut Holy Diver with the even better (IMO) The Last in Line. Not much needs to be said here. If you don’t own this album you are incredibly fucking wrong.

Iron Maiden – Powerslave

ironmaiden

…I think this was the first album my older brother ever bought and was likely my intro to Maiden. A sealed original pressing will run you at least $200 USD these days. Still worth it.

Van Halen – 1984

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Van Halen’s “MCMLXXXIV,” is probably one of my favorite summertime albums. Pretty much every song on here is designed to make someone feel good. And it does so for me to this very day.  VH kinda walked a thin (often blurry) line between hard rock and heavy metal. Sometimes they fit in better with Night Ranger and Aldo Nova than they did with most of the other bands in this post (and I’m ok with that.) Eddie’s pioneering guitar technique, in particular, is absolutely  quintessential to the history and evolution of heavy metal.

Slade – Keep Your Hands Off My Power Supply

slade

(US/Japan release on left / Orig UK-World release on right)

This is admittedly an odd pick for me (over more metallic albums such as Scorpion’s Love at First Sting, Twisted Sister’s Stay Hungry, Ratt’s Out of the Cellar, etc…) I was only familiar with a few songs off here as I never heard the entire album until much later. (K-Tel compilations, mix-tapes, dubbed tapes, etc. were the thing back then. Instant access to all of the music one wanted was a pipe-dream.) It was released the previous year in the UK and elsewhere, with a slightly different (better) track sequence and a couple different (better) songs, as The Amazing Kamikaze Syndrome.” For some reason the North American and Japanese markets got the (inferior IMO) alternate version but I actually recommend the original; it opens with the barn burner “Slam the Hammer Down” and features the singles “Run Runaway” and “My Oh My.” Listen to Noddy Holder’s vocal delivery and compare it to the Slade-worshipping Kevin DuBrow’s…you’ll see why Quiet Riot did so many Slade covers. Eighties-Slade managed to stick to their original formula and sounded very much like a mature ’70s glam rock band in spite of the new decade. Essential listening.

There you have it: three decades have passed since these albums were released and there’s been a lot of great heavy metal since then. The genre has evolved and rock in general has seen the birth of a lot of new sub-genres and many stylistic changes. One thing that hasn’t changed is my love for heavy music…then and now. Heavy metal music belongs to every generation. (Don’t forget to tell me about all the Trve Real Metuhl™ shit I “forgot*” in the comments…the stuff you’d surely have been listening to, had you been around…and then evacuate my yard.)

*I’d have included Manowar’s excellent back-to-back 1984 records Hail to England and (especially) Sign of the Hammer but I honestly wasn’t listening to them at the time. My awareness of Manowar began with Fighting the World.

  • Whoops

    No Swans. 0/10

    • Edward #negrod4eva

      Swans >>>>>>>>>

      • Whoops

        Edward >>>>>>>>>>>>>

    • It was a list of things that I was actually listening to that year. 84JAG had no idea who they were.

      • Whoops

        You didn’t know who Swans were back then? 0/10

      • JWG

        This makes perfect sense to me.

        If I did a list of my favourite albums for a year prior to 1985 that I was actually listening to that year it would probably be a very short list dominated by Raffi and Fred Penner.

  • FeelTheDarkness

    Everything but Condition Critical. That was a crap follow up to Metal Health

  • BEVRDBEVRD

    Forgot Deafheaven

  • NO DOKKEN?

    GTFO!

    JL

  • Warheart

    Even if my original pressing of Powerslave were sealed, I wouldn’t sell it for measly 200$.

    BTW, it’s true, Defenders it’s far better than Screaming.

  • tertius_decimus

    Wanna add Camel – Stationary Traveller to this chart. Andrew Latimer didn’t receive the recognition he derserves.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkhR1L37mt8

    • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

      Camel>>>>>>

      • tertius_decimus

        I’m not new in the Internet but sometimes just can’t understand an ocean of wisdom hidden in these smiles, signs and gif animations. Don’t wanna sound like a grumpy ass (which I am, actually) but really: what did you mean? Even if we share different views, it’s always interesting to read someone’s opinion. I respect you and everyone else in this wonderful toilet. Please, elaborate.

        • “Camel>>>>>>>” roughly translates to “Camel is greater than all.”

        • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

          Camel is a great band, I love them, own multiple of their albums, and have (unsuccesfully) tried to copy Latimer’s flute playing style.

          • tertius_decimus

            > tried to copy Latimer’s flute playing style.

            Wow! That’s a surprise. Pity, flutes and saxophones are so rare in heavy music. IMO, they perfectly match the sound scene of rock and metal.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Me and a buddy had a folk-ish side project and after a while got bored of using only local instruments, like Kantele and Accordion, I got an Ocarina and after a while started to try the flute. I don’t own one, but I may try to master it again one day.
            Exactly because I think woodwinds and to an extent horns fit heavier music perfectly and are often not used to best advantage.

          • tertius_decimus

            By the way, Änglagård has everything I love in prog and lot more. Many bands write shitty material after long hiatus but not these swedes. I almost cried after first run of Viljans Öga. Give me what they smoke! 18 years between releases and the last one rips through flesh!

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            I’d have to do a long sitting if I sent you what they smoked. But they are great. Check Otyg if you haven’t. A little folk-ish prog and Andreas ‘Vintersorg’ Hedlund on vox

          • tertius_decimus

            Love this guy as well. I even owned “Sagovindars Boning” CD few years back before getting rid of my CD collection.

            He’s in trouble now.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            I heard of that. Right before I attended a Borknagar show. Glad I found out before I went. ‘Twas good, but I wish he turns out fine.

      • Whoops

        They’re good, but not >>>>>>> material for me. VDGG and King Crimson are >>>>>>> material. Pawn Hearts is probably my favourite prog album ever.

        • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

          Snow goose was my intro to prog.

          • Whoops

            Minewas In The Court of the Crimson King. I would also say that Gentle (wanking) Giant is >>>>>>> material. Really enjoy them as well.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            GG is really good stuff too. Don’t know any other who like it though, not face-to-face-know.

          • Whoops

            I think that The Power and the Glory is their best. That darn album is goooooooood.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            That and maybe Octopus. They ended on a sad not though.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            I agree. I hated Civilian.

          • Whoops

            Octopus is great as well. Yeah, their last few albums are quite bad.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            Who can hate Gentle Giant? They’re so good!

          • Whoops

            I’ve met quite a lot of people that don’t like them.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            My favorite prog album is Red followed by Relayer and The Power And The Glory.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            My intro was Starcastle. I’m ashamed of that fact.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            If one could get past the fact they are an inferior version of Yes, they wouldn’t seem like the worst band ever.
            No one can (nor am I sure should anyone) get past that though.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            They were an inferior Yes that had the original singer of REO Speedwagon named Terry Luttrell. They were still better than Fireballet.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Never heard Fireballet.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            Fireballet was a very obscure American prog band who had one good album known as Night On Bald Mountain. Their next album had them wear ballet clothing on the front cover and the music made Love Beach look like In The Court Of The Crimson King.

          • Whoops

            Best Finnish prog band? I maybe enjoy Haikara’s first the most.

          • tertius_decimus

            Never heard ot them. Gonna give a try. Thanks!

          • Whoops

            Tasavallan Presidentti, Wigwam and Pekka Pohjola are great as well.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Manala is the go to album.

          • Whoops

            It’s a song from their first (and best) album.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            I always forget it’s s/t

          • Whoops

            You’re a poser.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            He hates Starcastle. He cannot be a poser because of that.

          • Whoops

            But he doesn’t remember that the first Haikara album was s/t. That’s poser material.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            I’ve never heard Haikara. I’m more of a poser than him.

          • Whoops

            Yeah, but I already knew that you’re a poser.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            You sure did.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Yes I am.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Haikara, Elonkorjuu… Shiiiiiit. There were so many good ones. Wigwam and everyone who went solo. Tolonen and Pressa…

            Maybe Haikara. They were pretty unbeatable

          • Whoops

            I remember when my mom heard me listening to Luoja Kutsuu. She wasn’t a big fan of the lyrics.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Luckily, or not, my parents (pa) are atheists

          • Whoops

            I was raised christian. Only my dad had a problem with me leaving the church.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            My parents, naturally, thought it okay when I left church (yeah, I was still baptized). Funny enough, I didn’t turn out atheist.

          • Whoops

            I’m glad that I didn’t become a militant atheist (damn you Blackbeard).

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Damnbeard

        • tertius_decimus

          Attending King Crimson show is my wet dream that once failed to happen. The concert in Kiev cancelled this year (The Crimson ProjeKct without Fripp). I didn’t even mind to get moneyback.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            You haf a chance Levin/Fripp/others haf reunited as KingCrimson this very year.

          • tertius_decimus

            Little chance to see them live in my 3rd world country. There’s only one interesting show on the map: Eluveitie at the end of the winter. Which is bummer, because here in Kiev everyone’s safe. Musicians or booking agencies from around the globe think otherwise.

          • Whoops

            Some good bands come here, but always in Helsinki in the middle of the week.

          • tertius_decimus

            Glad, I always have a job that doesn’t tie me up in this regard. On the sad note, there’s nothing to see here. Should have attended some local show with Fleshgore in headline few days ago, but wasn’t excited since they’ve recorded awesome debut album (brutal death metal) and the next one that came out in 2006 showed rapid shift to whatever-core which I loathe. What else? Nothing. It’s a void of nothingness here in Ukraine.

          • Whoops

            I’m hoping that this summer a festival near me gets more than two good bands so I could go there.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Which Fest is it?

          • Whoops

            I shan’t tell you, for this would help you locate me.
            Ilosaarirock. This year only Opeth and Oranssi Pazuzu were the good ones

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            You have good taste in prog. What is your opinion on American prog bands? Are there any good ones that aren’t really remembered?

          • tertius_decimus

            Jasun Tipton solo album FTW! And I’m an avid fan of Canvas Solaris, especially their last two albums before split up. They have disbanded just to form another project called The Universe Divide which is shameful To-Mera ripoff with female vocals. Why they did so? They were very original, so out-of-the-box…

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvpYb_hnloM

            And the list wouldn’t be full without Phideaux. Vast discography in which every album has something to offer.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Doesn’t To-Mera have fevox too?

          • tertius_decimus

            It does and it’s very good.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Also addable to list, Carmen. ‘Twas halfly American. And wholly awesome. Not a tale told too often either.

          • Whoops

            The word “Universe” reminded me of the greateness that it Univers Zero.

          • tertius_decimus

            Funny, it reminds me of Spiral Architect whose only album has that word in the title.

          • Lacertilian

            I’ve been going through their songs when I do housework.
            Thanks an00se.

          • Whoops

            European prog >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
            American prog

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            What about Triumvirat? They were closer to Starcastle and Fireballet than Yes and Camel.

          • Whoops

            Nah.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            I hate their Russian Roulette album. I’m listening to it now and it sounds like fourth rate Famous Last Words era Supertramp.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Supertramp, another great band ruined by America.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            I love Supertramp. Crime Of The Century is a great album. Same goes for Brother Where You Bound. I hated Famous Last Words and could tolerate Breakfast In America.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Before breakfast they were fine. BIA has a couple of okay-ish tunes. After that… thanks fame, fortune and united states. You fucked it up.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            Brother Where You Bound was the best album post Hodgson in my opinion. The title track had David Gilmour doing amazing solos and even the single was good.

          • Whoops

            Triumvirat is German, btw

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            They were German but they remind me more of American prog than German prog. Their Spartacus album is a classic in my opinion.

          • I just read Trivium I like Trivium.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            I like Trivium as well. They’re good live.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            I hear you. It was hard getting gigs before I started living at the capitol area. Jinjer tours Ukraine a lot and are supposedly great live. And a little proggy/techy at best.

          • Whoops

            I forgot, did you see the Swans gig that I missed (fucking fuck fuck)?

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            I found about it after it had begun.
            (A bigger fuck than any if the fucking fucks you can possibly fuck) FUCK

          • Whoops

            I knew about it way before it happened and knew that I can’t go there.
            (The fuckiest fuck that has ever fucking fucked)

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            That’s pretty fucked.

    • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

      Camel>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • I’ll back you on Defenders of the Faith.

    • Max

      “Rock Hard, Ride Free” is one of my many favourite Priest songs.

  • Miguel Serra

    I think I got classic merol homework to do in the beginning of 2015, jajaja. Cheers, my friend JAG!! *raises a jar to the air*

  • Howard Dean

    ’84 was an amazing year for metal.

    Slayer – Haunting the Chapel, Mercyful Fate – Don’t Break the Oath, Celtic Frost – Morbid Tales and Hellhammer – Apocalyptic Raids, Fates Warning’s debut, Bathory’s S/T, Jag Panzer – Ample Destruction, Brocas Helm – Into Battle, Sodom – In the Sign of Evil, Voivod – War and Pain.

    Plus many, many more. Great year!

  • Tyree

    I don’t give a damn, I fucking grew up listening to Whitesnake with my dad. I fucking jam that shit Jag!

    • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

      Whitesnake is the shit. I have a copy of the 1987 album somewhere.

      • Howard Dean

        Do we refer to you as VGNC now? ’cause I still wanna call you JJD.

        Occasionally I still want to call you Kevin Nash’s Jackknife or Kevin Nash and Friends.

        • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

          Yes I do. You can still call me any of those former usernames though.

      • Get Slide It In too, dude.

        • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

          I have that somewhere as well. I don’t remember where though.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    1984—the u.n. takeover plot on america was well underway–that had begun with the jfk assissination—the pmrc fake “conservative”psyop—had paved the way for govt censorship of media/music—thru “misdirection” against staged “satanism” in heavy metal

    most of the acts targeted were from elektra records—the “jim morrison” cia affiliated record company—who started out as govt “vietnam protest” music—-and created the “hippie movement”

  • JWG

    What, no Bon Jovi?

    Obviously kidding. Mostly.

  • JAG, this was a great read and i it would bring me great cheer if you made this a yearly tradition!!! and Powerslave remains my favorite Maiden album to this day

    • Thanks man. Prolly will.

      I implore anybody who likes good 70s-style hard rock to track down a copy of The Amazing Kamikaze Syndrome. Give the whole album a chance. Forgotten classic.

      • funny you bring that up, i was just jamming Slade’s greatest hits (don’t taze me bro) because i did not know that Cum On Feel the Noize was a cover. it was great stuff! i will check out that album.

        • Don’t get the US version Keep Your Hands Off My Power Supply. The track sequence stinks and the two songs on it that are not on the original are forgettable.

    • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

      No question! Powerslave >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • Tyree

    We all know that “Welcome to the Pleasuredome” by Frankie Goes To Hollywood is JAG’s favorite album from that year.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLGbXHc-Ce0

    • Tyree
    • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

      No Lyonwhite, no pleasuredome.

    • Max

      I’ve got that album on vinyl! It blew me away when I heard it as a kid. At the time I didn’t know you were “allowed” to make pop songs that went on as long as the title track. Still a great listen.

      And Body Double is a fuckin’ great movie.

      • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

        I hate the song Relax. The rest of the album rules though.

  • THIS IS A NO WIMP ZONE! ALL HAIL JAG!

    I own Accept’s Balls to the Wall, original pressing, on LP

    • Nice. I have the tape as you can see haha.

      • If we are ever together, we’re getting a picture with our tapes/vinyls together

        • Man I’be got crates of records. (Onay abut two dozen tapes though.

  • KJM

    Owned all of these except Slade and Quiet Riot back then. Funny thing is I’m a big fan of Slade’s 70s material.

  • Nothing but a bunch of grandpa’s metal bands.

    • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

      Curse you! I love every one of these bands!

    • FeelTheDarkness

      It all starts somewhere you whippersnapper

  • No mention of the Kings Of Metal, Manowar and their masterpieces Hail to England and Sign of the Hammer. For shame.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Jb-Afg_k9k

  • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

    First things first. Last in Line could be THE Dio record.

    but mire importantly. Accept never seemed an album band to me. Restless&Wild was a surprise bullseye they couldn’t repeat. Always writing too much filler. After Udo returned theymanaged to make another consistent (if not as good) record, then spiraled to mediocrity. Only having found new life with Mark have they challenged themselves.
    Three consecutive albums, not only consistent, but each cintaining great songs. Not perhaos their best, but never having to resort to filler.
    There I said it.

    • Russian Roulette is actually my personal fave. I like Mark. Had TT Quick’s Metal of Honor back in the day.

      • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

        I forgot RR, it’s actually the third good Udo album. I tried to look for TTQ one day, but didn’t find anything.

        (Also, Udo’s new guitarist is a Finn. Haben’t heard anything though)

        • I think Metal of Honor may be long out of print. Hit me up on Facebook and I can help you find it.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Will do.

    • Whoops

      Are you the realest?

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    Ahhhh yes great memories JAG!

    1984-Graduated high school, got kicked out of the house with my shit left on the front lawn for all the neighbors to see. My buddy Craig L (dead now) rented a u haul on his moms credit card and took me over there to pick up my shit with metal blasting in the cab the whole way! m/…Thank god for our music! RIP Craig!!

    • Craig sounds like a cool dude. RIP.

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        Yes he was!

    • Craig sounded like he was a dude’s dude. RIP, Craig!

      • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

        he was man for sure! Thx kjubd@12!

  • Scrimm

    Powerslave is all that matters. That is where it all began for me.

    • Tyree

      Van Halen dude.

      • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

        Van Fucking Halen and Slade are where it is at bro!

      • Scrimm

        First band you got into?

        • Tyree

          The first Van Halen album is what really got be into rock music. I was probably only 5 or 6. My dad would blast that album in the basement among others but Van Halen stuck with me.

          • Scrimm

            I had a cassete when I was little but no dice even then.

          • Howard Dean

            The Van Halen debut from ’78 is still awesome to this day. The first half dozen or so VH albums are so good.

          • KJM

            Diamond Dave FTW.

  • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

    This is the greatest list ever. Bravo!

    • it’s older than you!

      • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

        Every band on this list is a good band in my opinion. Every album is an awesome album. This is some of my favorite 80’s rock and metal in one list.

      • DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS A GUITAR PLAYTHROUGH OF A NEW GOROD SONG

        • WILL YOU INTRODUCE IT TO US ON TECH DEATH THURSDAY?

          • BEVRDBEVRD

            WILL I TYPE IN CAPS BETTER THAN YOU?!

          • Whoops

            SHUT UP GUYS, I’M TRYING TO TAKE A SHIT

          • BEVRDBEVRD

            SHUT UP I’M TRYING TO EAT

          • Whoops

            I THINK YOU’VE ALREADY EATEN ENOUGH

          • M Shadows!

            That’s what any loofah would say

          • BEVRDBEVRD

            I’LL EAT YOUR SOUL, F4G000000000T

          • Whoops

            YOU’RE GONNA HAVE A HARD TIME WITH THAT. I DON’T HAVE A SOUL

          • BEVRDBEVRD

            YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE DISAPPOINTING NOW THAN YOU WERE BEFORE BECAUSE YOUR PERSONA DOESN’T MAKE SENSE

          • M Shadows!

            whoops!

          • Whoops

            GAZE UPON THE FIELD WHERE I GROW MY FUCKS AND SEE THAT IT IS BARREN

          • M Shadows!

            That’s because the little loofah seeds you planted have not yet sprouted!

          • BEVRDBEVRD

            I’M SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR INFERTILITY ISSUE

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            I LIKE WRITING WITH CAPS LOCK ON TOO! LOOK AT THIS ALBUM LINKED BELOW. IT’S GOOD.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TERuUqS7bXg

          • you have successfully ruined a senseless circlejerk.

          • Whoops

            Stay in character Jim-Jim

          • M Shadows!

            aysse hete ndercoverue offahle!

          • Rhonda Pearlman

            Now why would anybody want that?

          • Whoops

            You and your fucking characters!

          • Bunk Moreland

            “Fuckin’ characters”… you’ve hit the nail right on the god damned head brother!

          • WHOOPS

            Jimmy McPlz!

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            Are you happy that I ruined the exchange or should I be apologizing for doing so?

          • tertius_decimus

            Every time I listen to 70’s prog, I feel myself like a tourist in the country I’ve never been before. There are claims by older men who have spent their time as children or grown-ups in 70s that everything was simplier, easier back then.

            Have no arguments to prove or disprove these claims, I just was born in late 80s, so how could I know? Just take a look how light the music is. It’s conceptual album about freaking catastorphe! If we talk modern days, the soundtrack to disaster should have sounded like this:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0D9DTc1eZQ

            Maybe yeah, these folks have a clue.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            I agree. That is an awesome Nile album and the album I linked is the last great album they did. The next two were awful beyond measure.

          • tertius_decimus

            “Ithyphallic” veered to the side I don’t get. “Annihilation Of The Wicked” is the last album I enjoy any time in any mood. Just used the song from “Ithyphallic” as an example how different people’s mindset is in comparison to past times. That’s the way it is. We can’t live in 70’s forever.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            I agree. The new Yes album is extremely shitty and the live album they released called Like It Is couldn’t be worse if it tried. Yes needs to hang it up.

          • tertius_decimus

            On a positive note, we can’t claim modern music to be complete shit like some elitists do. Such releases as Änglagård’s “Viljans Öga” and Anders Björler’s “Antikythera” are here to prove them wrong. Every epoch has something good to offer. It’s just a matter of what do you want from the music.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            There is good modern music. Look at Blut Aus Nord and Electric Wizard’s new albums. They are amazing albums and even newer prog bands such as Spock’s Beard have made great music in the past year. The new Strawbs album is awesome as well.

          • tertius_decimus

            Spock’s Beard? Really? I tried to dig them but that was few years ago. They didn’t touch me as Phideaux did, for example. If they came up with something good, I should check newer material.

            Such shit happened to me with Porcupine Tree. Never could understand what people find in them as they were more like Pink Floyd-wannabes until I tried Steven Wilson’s “The Raven That Refused To Sing”.

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            I love Spock’s Beard and I love Porcupine Tree. Steven Wilson is a great musician and he’s a studio wizard. His remasters of Gentle Giant and Jethro Tull are amazing. I wish he would have remastered the Fireballet albums though as those remasters aren’t perfect. He should also remaster Starcastle due to the remasters from 2002 sounding shitty.

          • Porcupine Tree put on a decent show when I saw them with Opeth, but I could never get the worship of them either. And the vocals are absolutely fucking AWFUL!

          • Their new vocalist was with Glass Hammer, though, who kick major ass. I like them better though since the new chick took over the vocals.

          • listen to Those Whom The Gods Detest STAT!!!!!!

          • tertius_decimus

            Incredible music, big time!

          • Tyree
          • favorite song of all time.

          • WHOOPS
          • BEVRDBEVRD

            Spoiler: This has already received merely 2.5/5 picards.

          • WHOOPS

            That was different The Fall song tho. Also, no one cares about your ratings.

          • BEVRDBEVRD

            Fine then, youre going from 4/5 picards to 2.5/5 picards, as well.

          • WHOOPS

            Still don’t care

          • BEVRDBEVRD

            I can’t seem to incite a reason to use this gif, so I’ll do it anyway.
            https://31.media.tumblr.com/a3a46f76d6bc1c8c69ce4e7bad0fb545/tumblr_nfentil35s1rzynyko1_500.gif

          • *your

          • BEVRDBEVRD

            uh.. no?

          • you win!

          • BEVRDBEVRD
          • Tyree

            Every time I go to my shitty job in the morning this song is playing in my head.

          • I loved the hell out of his vids as a kid!

          • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

            I agree. It’s a shame they made two Love Beach level albums after this great album.

          • SIMON DIDN’T SAY THE LOOFAH COULD SPEAK

          • Whoops

            HEY THERE, FUCKFACE

          • HELLO!

          • SHOTS FIRED

          • SIMON PHOENIX?

          • CAPS OFF!!!

          • DA

          • DA DA

          • DA DA DA DA DA..DA DA

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Daa daa- daa da daa da. Kiitä alla autostrada…

          • Whoops

            Ala-asteen musiikkitunnit… Oh the horrors

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            Aina kiire jonnekin on, on, on

          • M Shadows!

            eathde ouldwe be illlyse ittlele oofahle!

          • don’t hijack this thread, you two!!!

          • Whoops

            All your thread are belong to us

          • M Shadows!

            your*

          • Whoops

            I already fixed it, fuckface

          • M Shadows!

            whoops!

          • BEVRDBEVRD

            WHY DIDN’T YOU SCREENSHOT? I’M MAKING A COLLAGE

          • Whoops

            GET A LIFE

          • M Shadows!

            sorry sorry I’m busy stealing riffs from judas priest for the new album!

          • JamesGrimm

            M Shadows!!

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            I just want to have a part in your life.

          • Whoops

          • Whoops

            Speak of the devil.

          • Nordling Rites Ov Leõnhart

            That’s what s(he) said.

          • Aaaaaaaaagh, I remember this being on a car commercial years back and they tried (and failed) to make a comeback through that.

        • Lacertilian

          How many times you listened to it now?

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    Great list, that rivals 1986.

  • FeelTheDarkness

    Great work JAG!!!!
    I swear you are my long lost brother

  • Max

    I could wax lyrical for days about Van Halen’s 1984. Truly a masterpiece from go to woah. I sometimes wish I was a movie director just so I could film a scene set in a strip joint where I got to use “I’ll Wait” for the background music.

    It’s never been fully appreciated how interesting a drummer Alex is. Just listen to the swings on “Hot For Teacher”!

    And of course “Jump” – the first heavy metal song I ever liked.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Lr-5Xn0cnw

    • Alex’s talents should be obvious but he’s always been overshadowed by Eddie. Alex Van Halen is an amazing drummer.

    • Lacertilian

      Jump is one of the only Van Halen songs I’ve heard that I don’t like.
      It may be that it has been thrashed by every radio station ever.
      That or the keyboards being the main focus.

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    fuck those pmrc motherfuckers!!
    —-
    all 3 at once—(1st vid full vol-2ndfull vol–3rd 50%vol)
    http://youtu.be/veoYcsH7Wrs

    http://youtu.be/XRU1AJsXN1g

    http://youtu.be/4xmckWVPRaI

    • BEVRDBEVRD

      whatever ————- happened
      to animals —————————————————————————————-mating

  • tertius_decimus

    Just wanted to say thank you! All of you. Hadn’t such a wonderful conversation since 2008. I love this site and all the infernal inhabitants of this toilet ov hell. Such people as you will make ToH lot bigger than Metalsucks which sucks donkey balls.

  • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

    Ride the Lightning is fuckin’ supreme. Big props to Accept as well. Seem to recall they rocked it up on Demons and one or two other Italian schlock classics of the era. Good times…

  • Whoops

    Eh, I don’t really like Dio.
    #Iamtheworst

    • …wot…

      • Whoops

        You heard it here first folks!

        • BEVRDBEVRD

          if it werent for his influence i could care less about him. in fact, 100% of this list i dont/wont listen to

          • Shoulda been more tech death in ’84 🙂

          • BEVRDBEVRD

            I should have been born a little earlier maybe?

          • Nah…getting old isn’t that fun IME.

    • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

      You don’t dislike Dio though do you?

      • Whoops

        I don’t hate Dio.

        • frozengoatsheadupanunsarse

          Well that’s ok.

        • Tyree

          Yeah, that’s a nice. Yeah… That’s a reeeal nice.

          • M Shadows!

            Tyree you are sexting in the wrong app!

          • Tyree

            Say wat?

    • Tyree
    • M Shadows!

      Eh, I don’t really like Metaphysical Anus. I always forget he exists and then I remember and am like whoops!

      • Whoops

        MA is not something to be liked, but hated

        • M Shadows!

          Eh, I don’t really hate Metaphysical Anus. I always forget he exists and then I remember and am like whoops!

          • WHOOPS

            Damn you Billy!

  • awesome post for real. 11/10

    • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

      I agree.

    • Thanks for reading.

      • Jöhnny Crünch ™

        You need to post more articles mate

  • FeelTheDarkness
    • Song is still the shit.

      • Lacertilian

        Looks like the dude who did the Mastodon cover for ‘The Hunter’ got some ideas for style from here.

  • FeelTheDarkness
  • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

    Among my albums of the year from 1984 are Morbid Tales, Don’t Break The Oath, Arena from Duran Duran, Some Great Reward from Depeche Mode, everything off of JAG’s list, Stay Hungry from Twisted Sister, In Rock We Trust from Y&T and Penetrator by Ted Nugent (just kidding about this choice).

  • I totes listened to The Last in Line today. As a Christmas gift for myself, I purchased a Dio beanie. I eagerly await its arrival.

    • Vernon Gholston’s NFL Career

      I listened to the album Pompeii by Triumvirat. I shall buy that album as a gift to myself.

  • BEVRDBEVRD
  • RuIN?

    Sticking to the list. I would opine that in the year of our lord 1984, there was Maiden, Van Halen and Metallica. The rest are footnotes.

    • Come on…Accept? Priest? 😉

      • RuIN?

        Priest was a good band but at this time they were writing stuff that was good but still a notch below these other bands. Accept? Are you serious?

        • Of course I’m serious. You said the rest of these bands were footnotes…Priest was a major headlining act regardless of how you feel about the quality of their 1984 output.

          You were right about VH and Maiden but Metallica would have been closer to a footnote in 1984. They were on very few people’s radars and more than a couple years away from being a headlining act. They’re obviously more significant “now” but in 84 most of these other bands were headlining more than just clubs. Whitesnake didn’t do arenas in the States until after 87 though.

          • RuIN?

            You make a good point about Metallica and Judas Priest. I realize that it wasn’t until around ’86 that Metallica started garnering the heavy headlines. They are major players but my question about Accept stands. It’s just my only fleeting interest in Priest that keeps me from giving them too much credit.

  • Scrimm

    So baked right now

  • Lacertilian

    Born in ’84, loved this article thanks @jayalanbadfail:disqus

  • And how’s about this underrated gem from 1984?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0I42MkJ9tY

  • Eliza

    Sometimes, when I listen to records from the 80’s, I think what’s great time that was and how awful is that I missed them.