Jack Chick, Satan Enthusiast, Has Died

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Jack Chick, a complete and total religious weirdo, died this week at the ripe old age of 92. In his time on Earth, he created hundreds of Christian morality cartoons (known as “Chick Tracts”) that revealed him as a man that was depraved, morbid, and above all else, totally obsessed with the Dark Lord. Let’s enjoy some of his greatest hits.

If you’ve lived mercifully unaware of Chick Tracts, you likely weren’t raised in a suffocating Christian environment. Good for you! Please let me know what it’s like to not have the distorted point of view that all of your thoughts and actions will result in death and eternal damnation, even years after embracing atheism.

Since the 70s, Jack Chick’s palm-sized cartoons have been handed out to small children. Trick-or-Treating at a Southern Baptist house? You probably got a Chick Tract. Caught acting up by a busybody evangelist adult or a narc-ass kid? You probably got a Chick Tract. Stuck in an oppressively religious environment like a church camp? Buddy, you better believe you were getting a Chick Tract. And it’s not just Americans that have been saddled with these minuscule books of horror; Chick Tracts have been translated to over 100 languages and are distributed worldwide by well-meaning but utterly clueless missionaries. People of all ages, the world over, have been traumatized by Jack Chick’s horrible cartoons.

Through his comics, Jack Chick’s had a message for women, gays, Muslims, blacks, Jews, D&D players, teachers, people that enjoy Halloween, people that believe in religious tolerance, and most other groups on earth: You’re goin’ to hell.

Let’s start with perhaps his most widely mocked work, “Dark Dungeons“, a cautionary tale of the dangers of D&D.

Or this story about how science is fuckin’ dumb.

I personally love “Soul Story“, a tale about how Chick never met a black person in his entire life.

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I can’t even explain how wild this tract is. If you love Halloween and murderous pumpkins, please read “Boo“.

Basically, fuck Jack Chick.

One’s thing for certain: dude loved Satan. Let’s look at some of his loving depictions of hell.

Jack Chick lived a notoriously reclusive life. Not much is known about him personally, but through his art we can be certain that he believed everyday jamokes were doomed to hell with unexpected death, while pedophiles and murderers could achieve salvation simply by reciting the Lord’s Prayer before shrugging off their mortal coil. This one’s for you, Jack. Hail Satan.

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