It costs $0 to say nothing

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Or, “Black metal dude shoots self in foot.”

Last night I was alerted to a particularly stupid post on Facebook. I can hear you, “Someone saying something stupid on Facebook? IMPOSSIBLE.” You’re yelling. Of course I can hear you. But yes, an Icelandic black metal label accidentally (or totally intentionally) went full-on anti-Semitic for what appears to be no good reason. Mystiskaos made the announcement that they would be pulling their music from “(((Bandcamp)))” due to the fees they were being charged. The triple parentheses, as you will recall, was a meme among internet Nazis used to identify and harass Jews online.

Mystiskaos could have easily just explained that they were unhappy with Bandcamp’s fee structure for labels and announced that they would be pulling music from the platform without implying some kind of shadowy Jewish conspiracy. Was this an intentional stab at Jews or a dumbass joke? Mystiskaos refused to concede in the comments of their post before catching enough flak that they just deleted the whole thing. That was probably the smartest move. Aside from, y’know, not posting this in the first place.

We live in particularly stupid time in modern history. Everyone’s basest and dumbest thoughts are captured and crystalized immediately on the world wide web. In an instant, the entire world is aware of your weak ass jabs. I don’t see that changing anytime soon so dudes in music with access to social media accounts, allow me to give you one piece of advice: it doesn’t cost anything to say nothing.

Take the time to really think about what you want to say before launching it into the ether. Maybe have your least dumb friend look it over for you. Does your post contain a slur or a coded attack on a particular group? Maybe reconsider it. Or go ahead and post it if that’s really what you mean. You’ll lose a lot of fans that refuse to spend their hard-earned dollar on bigots but you might gain a few knuckle-dragging followers with Aryan Brotherhood neck tattoos.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt . — Some old dude

Are you in a band and just positive that you’ve got some hilarious zingers about women and disabled people? Consider keeping that shit in the van and don’t risk bumming out your fans or potential listeners. People wanna hear your music, not your dumb jokes. Unless you’re Ghoul, of course. And you’re not. It’s hard enough to be somewhat successful with music without alienating huge swaths of potential fans with bigoted statements. Or, as the late Oderus Urungus once said, “Keep your fucking mouth shut, Dave Mustaine. Play your fucking guitar.” It’s doesn’t cost a penny to say nothing.

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  • Brutalist_Receptacle

    Wht must everything be shitty all the time?

    • Count_Breznak

      “When you have a toilet, everything looks like shit”

      • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

        “WHEN THERE’S NO MORE ROOM IN THE TOILET….THE TURDS WILL WALK HERE”

        *cue Mortician slamblast*

    • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

      THANKFULLY FOR US EVERYONE SEEMS TO SHIT ON THE FLOOR INSTEAD OF OUR NICE TOILET

  • Butts4Gutts

    More like (((Toilet ov Hell))).

  • Nothing says PVRE FVKKING BLACK METAL like plugging your Insta.

    Buncha chodes

  • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

    ON THE OTHER HAND THE MORE CHODES THAT OUT THEMSELVES THE EASIER IT IS TO KNOW WHAT NOT TO BOTHER EVER LISTENING TO OR SPENDING MONEY ON

  • slipjackthewanderer

    Goddamit. I saw this last night and forgot the coded, anti-semite parentheses bullshit. I really hope this doesn’t mean the guy from Skaphe is a Nazi.

    • Dubby Fresh

      Disappointing to see Wormlust there.

    • GoatForest

      I wouldn’t have caught it, honestly. I wasn’t aware of the nazi parentheses thing, as I apparently not internet learned. Anyway, fuck those idiots.
      https://youtu.be/TcIPXKKjcgU

      • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

        I ALSO HAD NO IDEA THE LAST I HEARD WAS THAT PARANTHESES WERE A WAY OF SHOWING HUGS IN CHATROOMS ON AOL

        • Dubby Fresh

          Nah mate, that was double colons ::hugs Grump::

          • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

            OH WEIRD I THOUGHT DOUBLE COLONS WAS JUST WHAT MY PROSTATE CHECKUP WAS CALLED

          • Dubby Fresh

            You have two colons?

          • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

            WHAT CAN I SAY I AM A COLON-ARY DELIGHT

          • GoatForest

            Damm.

          • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

            GotEm.tar.gz

        • GoatForest

          Our wrinkles are showing.

          • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

            I AM LIKE A FIBONACCI SEQUENCE OF WRINKLES WITHIN WRINKLES

    • Lacertilian

      I don’t think the anyone on the label espouses neo-nazi beliefs in their music, including the dude who wrote the post (as far as I know).

      Seemed like a very dumb attempt at a joke to me.

      • Bong Johnham

        They don’t. And it was a poor attempt at an already unfunny joke that flopped as bad as it should have.

      • I am relieved.

  • Kinda disappointing they didn’t yet take down their Bandcamp.
    Nothing screams try-hard like saying your going to do something and subsequently not doing so.

    On a positive note, here is a link to Fin’s Arrows of Dying Age.

    GLC

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbOYA90-xgo

  • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ

    UUUUUUAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!!!!! WHY COME IZ BEING KNUCKLE DRAGGER BAD THING!?!?!?! GORAK HAVE NO NECK TATTOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • (((NO!!))), (((NOT))) (((THE ))) (((DREADED))) (((TRIPLE))) (((PARENTHESES)))

    (((((((((((((((((((((((NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    • Lord of Bork

      ((((((((((((S)))(((unn))))))0))))))

      • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

        BODY onload!#$%&()*~+-_.,:;?@[/|]^`=SUNN(“O”)

  • HessianHunter

    There’s been a mini gamergate-style culture war erupting in the Magic The Gathering community. Some bigoted neckbeard who likes harassing/doxxing people relentlessly for being “beta cucks” is banned from participating in tournaments and official events and he has been crying about how he’s being targeted and is owed an apology for infringing on his “free speech”. It’s a huge mess and reminds me why I fucken hate nerds

    • GrumpLumpusCrumpus
    • Dubby Fresh

      Fandom is cancer.

      Unless it’s Godzilla fandom. Then it’s just rickets.

    • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

      READING UP ON THAT WAS A HARROWING TRIP THROUGH DOWNTOWN CRINGE CITY BUT YEAH THERE EXISTS A STRANGELY NOT-OVERLAPPING YET OTHERWISE IDENTICAL ELEMENT IN MTG THAT IS EXACTLY LIKE THE WORST PARTS OF METAL UNDERGROUND

      -ANTI-FUN
      -ENTITLEMENT TO BEING HEARD
      -ENTITLEMENT TO ‘FEMALES’
      -MENINISM IN GENERAL-
      -TALKIN’ REAL BIG FROM BEHIND A KEYBOARD
      -PERSISTENT BELIEF IN WEIRD MACHO FANTASY MEMBERSHIP DESPITE BEING A DOUGHY MOUNTAIN DEW BASEMENT TROLL

    • GoatForest

      I like playing MTG, but I abandoned the general community about six years ago for that very reason. I found it hard to sit across the table for an extended period of time with somebody I completely loathed. The only guys I’ll still play with are my nerd friend that introduced me to the game and a local punk band who came into the game via the same friend.

  • Damn, I didn’t know that about the parentheses.

    In any case I’m a big fan of posting my basest and dumbest thoughts so they’re captured and crystalized immediately on the world wide web. …but I won’t be any part of anti-Semitism no fucking way.

  • Lisa McCormick

    This is utterly stupid. The assumption that everyone is up to date on nazi internet memes. I doubt these folks are in anyway informed, as I myself had no idea until reading this article.
    Black Metal band are more likely to get thrown under this bus of “anti-semitic” due to previous problems within the genre with hate-groups condoning their messages of hate through this beautiful form of music.
    I will personally brush this off as a blunder/mistake on the labels half for not being up to date on “internet memes”, cause who knows, they might spend more time in the real world than in front of a screen looking up hate memes.

    but then again, maybe I’m just naive and uninformed.
    I was probably a monster on AOL back in the day, if it is common knowledge that triple parentheses is a act of hatred. Cause I mistook that as a act of hugging.

    • Spear

      You’re right. Anti-semitism is completely unheard of in the black metal community. It’s probably just an honest mistake.

      • Lisa McCormick

        I wouldn’t say it’s completely unheard of, I’d say it has been a past problems with some select groups. So I can understand when people point fingers. I just think this instance is a mistake.

      • AP

        In this case, yeah. While I didn’t write the status, I had 0 idea parentheses contained any sort of significant meaning. The individual that posted the status thought it meant something entirely different (thinking it was some ironic NWO/shadow world wide secret government overloads/whatever thing). Once the meaning became clear, obviously the status was deleted by the same person who posted it.

        That said, damage is done. Mistake was made, and if people are upset over what was posted, that’s totally within your right. No one involved in the label or anyone I work with is a red-pill swallowing moron or someone dabbling in political/racial extremes and I refuse to work with anyone who harbors artificial superiority. Take it for what it’s worth.

        • RJA

          Entheogen record is awesome! Keep up the good work.

        • Rich Kaminski

          I don’t think that damage is done as the post was deleted and as a person involved with the label, you were able to explain what happened. You’re owning up to it as a mistake as much as you can since you didn’t post the status.

        • Spear

          Hey, that’s good to hear. That’s a pretty unfortunate mix-up, but I’m glad that it was indeed a mistake.

    • Butts4Gutts

      Yea, because it’s complety innocuous and has been common for years to specifically add three sets of parantheses around a name, especially when being critical of said entity with the name.

  • SomeGuyDude

    I’m really struggling to dredge up some energy to give a shit about this.

    • Butts4Gutts

      Good thing you found the energy to let us know you don’t have the energy.

      • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

        FIRST LAW OF COMMENT THERMODYNAMICS

  • zackflag

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand….. the nazi black metal witch hunt continues…

    • thank you for bravely standing up for black metal dudes, the most persecuted group in history.

    • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

      DID YOU SEE WHAT THEY WERE WEARING THEY WERE JUST ASKING FOR IT

  • Akerskronks ov Steele

    Metal Archives be like “Sensitive Snowflake Cucks can’t take edgy black metal bands opinions of the truth! Damn Immigrants and Women!”

    • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

      METAL ARCHIVES DOES A WHAT

  • NDG

    “Keep your fucking mouth shut, Dave Mustaine. Play your fucking guitar.”

    I think this should apply to musicians in general.

    • GrumpLumpusCrumpus

      *PEOPLE

  • Kyle Reese

    Buncha fucking excuse making, pathetic piss babies here making excuses for the band. You don’t accidentally do the three parentheses for no reason. Like, why include extra punctuation if you don’t know what it means? Does it have a secondary meaning? No. Oh ok.