I Believe I Can Slam: Meshuggah vs. Michael Jordan, Part 2

Welcome all to MonstarCity, where B-ball is that of the insane
All is slamfusion in MonstarCity
Ball to it, it knows your game

In 1996, producer Ivan Reitman and director Joe Pytka struck artistic genius when they paired living legend and basketball superstar Michael Jordan with irreverent toon icon Bugs Bunny in the most important film endeavor of this age or any other. Space Jam was a triumph to creativity and would become the best-selling basketball film of all time, easily earning a spot atop the upper echelon of sports drama. In 2014, intrepid remixist Analog Staple breathed new life into the legacy of Jordan’s most important contribution to basketball by combining its iconic, monumental theme song with Meshuggah’s landmark 2008 release obZen to create slamZenthe new gold standard by which all other slam efforts would be judged.

For two years, slamZen has sat upon the throne of stolen basketball talent like a swollen Monstar overlord!

However, the long drought of quality Space Jam odes is finally at an end, for Analog Staple has returned with yet another inimitable work of slamtasy, once again mining Stan’s divot to Toonland to create yet another remix of Meshuggah and Michael Jordan. All hail The Violent Slam of Reason, your new alien overlord and the latest, greatest attraction at Moron Mountain. Boy howdy does this thing slam harder than Charles Barkley deeming an objectionable piece of athleticism as “turrble.”

I actually think The Violent Slam of Reason slams harder than even slamZen. The fertile groove of massive cuts like “By the Ton” and “Ivory Tower” just hit all that much harder when paired with all the ponderous bulk of Patrick Ewing. When Thomas Haake’s poly-meters start colliding with that opening invocation of “Everybody get up, it’s time to slam now,” I can truly feel my spirit lifting. If Michael Jordan can stretch his arm to score the game-winning basket and Haake can keep all of those fills straight in his head, surely I can make it through another day. I believe I can slam.

You can and should throw Analog Staple a few bucks on Bandcamp. You can get his entire catalog of slams for just two dollars, yo! Do it for Bill Murray!

(Photos VIA and VIA)

Written by:

Published on: October 18, 2016

Filled Under: Lolbuttz, Nerd Shit

Views: 688

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  • Señor Jefe El Rosa

    Maximum lolbuttz

  • mother☆shabubu

    Space Djam is my favorite subgenre

    • Don’t you mean subdjenre?

      • mother☆shabubu

        I djo.

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

    New Meshuggah album has grown on me quite a lot. I like it way better than “Koloss” for sure. I still have the softest spot for DEI and Chaosphere though.


    • Señor Jefe El Rosa

      I’m definitely behind the listening curve for the new album. Seems as I’m the only one…

      • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

        Nope, I never cared for this band. Own nothing and never will.

        • Señor Jefe El Rosa

          Let me rephrase that… only person who actuallly has somewhat of an interest in the new album that hasn’t listened to it yet.

          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            It’s too late, bro. The damage is done.

        • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

          I mean, I know Meshuggah isn’t as good as the band below, but don’t be too harsh on them…


          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            Hahaha, you bastard.

          • Eliza

            I remember now why I hate this band, they sound like shit.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            They sound worse than shit. Shit is something a person has to live with, stuff like Asking Alexandria on the other hand…nobody should go through something like that…

          • Eliza

            The fact that this band has fans baffles me to no end.

          • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

            Well, people ARE kinda dumb. This band is able to pay the bills churning out crap, while more unique and talented bands that have been around for more than 20 years still have to work low wage blue collar jobs in order to make ends meet. That’s life…

          • Eliza

            As it has been proven time and time again, just having the members of a band being generically good-looking can spell out success.

          • AC

            Asking AIDS

      • Joaquin Stick

        I didn’t really like the first listen, but I tried again over the weekend it it does indeed seem to be a grower.

        • Señor Jefe El Rosa

          Cool, I’m gonna try to listen soon. So many tunes though.

      • FrankWhiteKingOfNY

        I think it’s pretty good. Of course not as good as DEI, Chaosphere, Catch 33, I and perhaps I’d prefer Obzen as well, but it’s definitely better than Koloss to my ears and I might like it better than Nothing.

        • Señor Jefe El Rosa

          Chaosphere is probably my favorite. I enjoyed Koloss

      • Eliza

        I haven’t listened to it either. Not that I have tine to listen to a lot of music these days, but I don’t plan on listening to it anytime soon.

      • Took me 2 songs to hook me. It crushes.

      • mother☆shabubu

        I’m a large fan of the ‘Shuggah, but I will say this: their earlier material (Contradictions Collapse, DEI, Chaosphere) had a lot more direct energy in the music, almost a hardcore-kinda energy and speed at times. Their newer stuff seems to be more about groove and exploring the sound they perfected on Catch33.

    • Ayreonaut

      I love the early thrashier stuff, that’s what really turned me onto them. I even like the groovier stuff from the nothing remaster and catch 33. But to be honest they started to lose me at obzen. And I bought a special edition pre-order of koloss when it came out but I think I listened to it like four times and it was boring,and I haven’t listened to it since.

  • Eliza

    So, this is a thing that exists. Not the worst ever.

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      But it’s pretty dumb.

      • Eliza

        Yeah, and kinda forgettable too.

  • Further proof that you can sync up Meshugga to just about anything.

  • Freedom Jew

    Sorry, but I need that two dollars for prozac now.

  • 2014? lame, this is 2013 and infinitely better


  • Óðinn
  • Shit, I should have submitted one of these for RotW, would have clinched it ez.

  • 365ChaosRiddenDays
    • Abradolf Lincler

      Meat Heart is what my doctor says I have

      • 365ChaosRiddenDays

        Weird, my doc said me the same!

  • PostBlackenedWhaleGaze

    Good news everyone, you can visit Space Jam’s official site in all it’s 1996 glory.


    • W.

      YUP. I love that it’s still a thing.

  • Waynecro

  • I did a double backflip alley oop slam dunk because of this