Hot Dad Is On Fire: New Tunes From Our Savior Erik Helwig

1437
87
Share:

There’s something missing in your life. You don’t know what it is, but you feel the pangs of its absence every passing second. Fill your hole with Hot Dad (fuck).

He goes by many different names: Erik, Erik Helwig, Erik H., Mr. Helwig, Helwig, E., dotflistHot Dad, Alpha & Omega, Eric (when spelled wrong), etc., and he’s well on his way to making all other music completely irrelevant. Deal with it, metalheads.

The whole world wept and then shit its pants in sorrow when he revealed that he’d be wrapping up his exorbitantly ambitious rewritten TV themes. It left many empty and alone; grasping in pitch darkness for reasons to wake up every morning, each jet of cold air through the fingers salt in a mortal wound, hands clasping shut on nothing. Fucking nothing, man.

That said, I’m here to tell you that you can untie that noose and push the dining table chair back to where it belongs, because while our beloved TV Themes might be a thing of the past, Hot Dad shows no signs of slowing down. The latest addition to his delightfully perplexing catalog is entitled PPL. They are songs about people. He’s three songs in to this endeavor right now, and because trying to explain the appeal of Erik Helwig’s work is something I’ve never been able to translate to text, I’m just going to say that, as usual, they’re outstanding.

____________________________

1. Mac DeMarco

I don’t know who Mac DeMarco is, but I’ve never heard his name come from the mouth of a person I didn’t want to punch in the face a million times. Until now.

lol

____________________________

2. Tyler, The Creator

“He said a few mean things
But we forgive him because he sings
Songs of praise to our Holy Lord”

lol2

____________________________

3. The Killers

“Brandon Flowers is so talented
Brandon Flowers is so talented
Brandon Flowers is so talented
Brandon Flowers is so talented”

 

If you haven’t yet (shame on you), give this man a like on Facebook.

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
    • Dagon

      That is one big emoji.

    • DCLXVI

      what does this even mean!?!

      • Praise him

        • DCLXVI

          Satan

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Always

          • 365chaosriddendays

            Wins

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Muffins

          • 365chaosriddendays

            Or puddings

        • RJA

          for real? that’s pretty awesome – I will use it when needed!

      • Pagliacci is Kvlt

        It means you got 4 geography questions right in Trivial Pursuit.

  • Dagon

    Mac DeMarco posted his address somewhere and so far 9 or 10 kids have showed up for coffee.

    He actually brought them in. I thought that was a cool move. He also had an open BBQ on NYC a couple monhs ago.
    –EDIT-
    These songs are too real, damn. Hot Dad can do no fucking wrong.

    • RJA

      I enjoy Mac DeMarco – please don’t punch me in the face Masterlord!

  • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

    I wanna meet that Dad. What’s your dad like?
    Doo Dah Doo Doo!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21UP0frYg-E

  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Did someone say more tunes from Hot Dad? Yay!

  • Guacamole Jim

    Hot Dad is all I live for.

  • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

    My hot dad can beat up your hot dad.

  • I must say I was not very keen to his first batch of tunes… But these… these are sweet.

    His brand of trolling is top notch!

    GL

  • CyberneticOrganism
    • Dubzlinger, Malandro

      I look forward to my wife’s eventual spawning so that I can purchase dad shorts.

      • Stockhausen

        You would.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          He did.

      • Janitor Jim Duggan

        We sell dad shorts exactly like that at my job. They might be on clearance now that the summer is almost over.

        • Dubzlinger, Malandro

          I don’t think we can get the nine months of gestation after a successful pregnancy done in time to capitalize on that sale.

          • Stockhausen

            HURRY.

          • Dagon

            My momma held me for 4 months, and look at me! I am a very special star! A beautiful mermale!

          • Astounding logic, W.

            GL

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’m sure we’ll have them again next year.

    • DCLXVI

      you forgot this

    • Janitor Jim Duggan

      This is a true statement. My dad has all of these things. He also has Sperrys which are dad shoes as well as a lot of polos.

    • BEARD OV GREAT DAWKINS

      I rock new balance almost exclusively

      • CyberneticOrganism

        Kickass-looking but somewhat uncomfortable dress boots or GTFO

        • Dagon

          I up voted you both because I’m unapologetically addicted to footwear.

          • Janitor Jim Duggan

            I’m also a footwear aficionado. I have quite a few retros from Reebok and Fila and hopefully I’ll pick up some British Knights soon because their new retros are awesome.

          • Lacertilinger

            Skin is what your feet should wear as often as possible

          • Dagon

            That is my paradox: love footwear, spends 70% of time bare footed.

    • The Haunting Presence of Tyree
      • Stockhausen

        Now that’s just sensible. Some good quality sneakers for comfort, and a fanny pack for convenience.

        • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

          It really just makes sense. Very practical.

          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree
          • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

            That action zone is doing it for me.

          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

            That extra large snack sack is a plus too.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            That’s a cruel thing to call a dog.

          • The Haunting Presence of Tyree

            I bet she loves it.

          • Guppusmaximus

            I think the dog is already familiar with that “action zone” 😛

        • Janitor Jim Duggan

          The Rock wears fanny packs. They’re not just for convenience anymore now that all the 90’s trends are coming back.

          • Guppusmaximus

            It’s amazing what stackin’ drugs will do to your physique. And, people think it’s his fucking diet…ROTFLMAO!

          • Óðinn

            I think he had breast reduction surgery at one point to get rid of his steroid tits.

          • Guppusmaximus

            Anything’s possible in that fucked up industry. They are almost as bad as Hollywood…

    • King Shit of Fuck Mountain

      Don’t forget about giving up forever. Couldn’t find a pic for that, oh well.

    • I am fairly certain that shirt bottom would end up being north of my belly button, which adds to the Hot Dad affect.

    • Dagon

      You aware of the brief fad of dressing “normcore”?

      • CyberneticOrganism

        I ignore any and all things ending with “core.”

        I’ve seen that word somewhere but I don’t think anyone outside of tumblr (and possibly awful New York Times “lifestyle” articles) are aware of these smug little trends in ironic fashion-awareness dickslappery.

        • Dagon

          Well I don’t really have a tumblr but occasionally browsing menswear/sneakers stuff I get exposed to this shit.

          • CyberneticOrganism

            Really? Where do you find that kinda stuff?

          • Dagon

            Mostly through Complex. I actually hate their editorial line but I never stopped following them. Occasionally there are good articles there.

    • Ha, this dad wears none of that jerkoff attire. #DadStains.

    • Óðinn
  • Stockhausen

    I had not heard of Mac DeMarco until now, but he seems like a guy I want to dropkick to the chest with no warning. However, I can stand looking at his dumb face while Hot Dad caresses my ear holes.

  • I have no idea what’s going on here but it is indeed glorious.

  • Dubzlinger, Malandro

    These songs are songs about which I would say, “These are fun songs.”

    • RustyShackleford

      Hot Dad is someone about which I would say, “That’s a hot dad.”

  • TrickleDownOvTacoKvltRiff

    Youth is a matter of circumstance not virtue….lol.

  • “OOH OOOH OHHH, TYLER THE CREATOR, SINGING ALL NIGHT LONG”

    I am in love.

    GL

  • Mother Shabubu 4

    If Hot Dad gets Cold Mom preggo, does that make Lukewarm Kid?

  • Hubert

    These are funny songs. Chewable/10

  • YourLogicIsFlushed

    First time back on the Toilet after a long move, and this is the first live post I see. All is right in the world.

  • J.R.™

    I had no clue Tyler the Creator was so devout :^)
    These are awesome