Getting Laid at Bandcamp: The Fourth of 2015


Welcome back, campers. It’s time to die all over again. I’m sure most of you have noticed my recent taking to War Metal and overall vile-sounding black metal. Personally, it’s been a rough month for me at work, having to deal with multiple fucked up issues and changes. I won’t go into details with the troubles, but I’ve found that savage, hateful metal is an effective coping mechanism for me. It’s managed to relieve quite a bit of my stress, especially when I’m at home. So, here are some bands that have helped me through another week of shit at work.

Unholy CrucifixORDO SERVORUM SATANAE (2012)


Hailing from Norway, Unholy Crucifix began as a one man black metal project created by Profanation of Deity back in 2004. The band has dropped over 20 impressive and unpleasant releases within an 11-year period, with out releasing a full length until 2012. In 2011 Profanation recruited California based drummer Sean Merriken to take over drum duty. Soon after, ORDO SERVORUM SATANAE was born from blackness into flames. This is a thrashy bestial black metal album taking old school black metal influences (Venom) and mixing them up with some old school war metal and death metal (Sarcófago, Possessed, and Blasphemy). It’s gritty and it brings the blasting fury, the thrash, and the groove. The guitar work is worth pointing out. The riffs are catchy and the leads are incredibly icy-sounding, with a nice cloak of reverb and an echo that chills listeners into a frostbitten coma. The vocals sound distant yet harsh, as if painfully screamed from the back of a cave. Be sure to check out the many other releases from the band on their Bandcamp page.

Favorite song: “Sin”

Black Fucking CancerSummoning Aural Hell (2011)


When it comes to demos, Summoning Aural Hell has to be one of the most savage things I’ve ever goddamn heard. These 3 heathens went into this demo knowing exactly what they wanted to achieve. This 31 minute hell monster comes running right at you, unrelentingly biting and tearing your flesh from your body. Normal cancer wants to take your life away by slowly deteriorating your body over time, but Black Fucking Cancer wants to violently crush your life away and provide you with the most agonizing pain there is by dragging you down to hell where you will suffer for eternity. These tracks pepper you with bricks. The ugliest sounding riffs you’ve ever heard blast away at your face like a Gatling gun. The vocals sound absolutely horrid, like a witch burning at the stake. This is an ugly demo, and there is no mercy whatsoever. So buy the ticket and take the horrid ride to hell, because this is total fucking pain and desecration worth experiencing. This demo came out three years ago, and it’s their only release. Hopefully very soon this disease will come back to kill us all once more.

Favorite Song: “Exit Wounds”

Caveman CultRituals of Savagery (2015)


Rick Smith may not be a familiar name to you, but some of his bands may be. The man plays/played in Shitstorm, Torche, and Mehkago N.T. to name a few. Coming from such a grindy and crusty past, the man obviously knows how to play aggressively. But why just keep it grindy and crusty when you can blast out some of the most barbaric sounding war metal around? Rick did just that, and he did a mighty fine job at crushing skulls with his bare hands. This is highly similar to the Canadian style of war metal (plenty of Revenge and Conqueror influence to go around). My favorite part about this release are the really heavy, slower parts – something that is all too uncommon in war metal. Caveman Cult do a great job of switching up the pace from unrelentingly fast to face crushingly slow, which adds a killer dynamic to their overall sound. The drumming is magnificently tight and abrasive, following the menacing guitar riffs perfectly. Vocals are incredibly obscene, ranging from higher pitched barks to deeper growls very similar to Black Witchery and Revenge-styled vocals. This is a band to look out for here. Get crushed!

Favorite Song: “Tribal Slaughter”

VidargängrVidargängr (2013)


This German hell army doesn’t fuck around when it comes to crafting their mean and filthy style of bestial black metal. Do I dare even call it crusty, as well? This is 40 minutes of nonstop war fury that doesn’t let up, and it’s fucking painfully delightful. For as long as these songs are, the overall speed is pretty much consistently fast, only leaving a small portion of time for slower sections and breathing room. Vidargängr‘s self titled full length reeks of dread and the grimmest of hate. This is like a 600 horsepower engine doused with the vilest, putrified swamp tar found from the deepest and nastiest depths of hell’s bile duct. This engine gets hotter and hotter the longer in runs, until it finally stops and you’re left in a silent black hole with no way out. The guitars and bass have a distinctly crusty tone that adds a certain captivating element to Vidargängr’s sound. The vocals, barked out in German, are violent as hell. If you want something dismal and depressing but still furious, Vidargängr is your new favorite band.

Favorite Song: “Suche für nichts”

TrepanationHideous Black Abyss (2013)

a3410392727_10Do you like war metal? Do you also like crusty and grindy sounding shit? Combine all of that shit together and push blend and you’ll get the ugly yet brilliant Trepanation. This is a short but sweet disgusting demo from New Zealand, a place that has produced many of the prospering war/bestial/black metal metal bands in the scene (see: Diocletian, Witchrist, Vassafor, and Heresiarch). I’d call this demo a chaotic masterpiece injecting the savage sound of war metal and black metal into grindcore/crust punk structures. Drums are a mixture of blasts and d-beats, while guitars range from thrashy black metal styled tremolo picking to punky riffs. This is a great demo and the only release by them, so get on this and make sure to follow this band. I know Christian will.

Favorite Song: “Trepanation”

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  • Tyree,

    What happens when you run out of volume on your head phones? My work computer only goes so loud with my current head phones. I am thinking about amping it before it goes to my head phones. What do you think?

    Seem like extra volume would help with the stress too.

    BTW, the Unholy Crucifix is grooving!


  • Dagon

    I think it’s super cool that a guy who used to play for Torche is in a war metal band.
    Caveman Cult and Trepanation (I have moar medical pictures for the kids) I’ve jammed. I’ll jam the rest as soon as I hit the poser slaying mood.

  • Black Fucking Cancer is the real highlight for me here. Good find, Tyree!

  • Black Fucking Cancer and Trepanation bring them tasty tunes.
    Curse you, Based Tyree.

  • Scrimm

    I remember seeing Trepanation somewhere before. Good stuff.

    • VVayne Brady

      Yah, that name definitely rings a bell for me.

    • Tyree

      I posted them on the FB page a while back.

      • Scrimm

        I figured.

  • VVayne Brady

    I’m digging Caveman Cult.

    • Checking them out because Shitstorm and Mehkago N.T., not bad. There might be a little too much verb on the vox but the rest is good.

      • VVayne Brady

        Checking out Trepanation now. I likes tha grind.

  • Dagon
      • Dagon

        Too many words.

        Jk I’ll get to it as soon as I can.

        • I’d like to get your professional medical opinion on the pros and cons of drilling a hole into your skull yourself.

          • Scrimm
          • GAAAAAAAAH!

          • Scrimm

            I’ve not seen it or read the book although I’ve read a ton of that guys books. He’s seriously f’ed in the head though.

          • Hahaha, I see what you did there

          • Scrimm

            Yeah haha I didn’t realize I did it until I typed it.

          • Dagon’s Shocked Right Nipple

            This seems like a nice thing.

          • VVayne Brady

            I just read this whole article. WTWTF!

          • Dagon’s Shocked Right Nipple

            This is why we can’t have nice things.

          • Scrimm

            That guy has issues. Coven was the most disturbingly gory book I’ve ever read. Apparently the guys fiance read the proofs for it and left him lol. Ever thing about getting deboned and somehow being still alive?

          • The God Emperor of Mankind

            Normal activities in the eye of Terror

          • Sounds interesting, is the movie actually any good?

          • Scrimm

            Actually haven’t seen it, just a fan of the author

          • The God Emperor of Mankind

            It’s more beneficial if you incorporate cybernetic and or/neuro-psyker implants. Best used on servitors, other than that it’s just dumb and heretical.

          • Dagon

            I’d say if that’s what makes you happy, go for it! Life is too short to be worried about fatal cerebral infections.

      • Brouroboris

        My poor humble merely mortal mind is dissolving in the flood of humanity’s thought on consciousness and self knowledge including but not limited to ingesting mind altering drugs; abstaining from all available pleasures; worshiping constructs of the subconscious and drilling holes in your own fucking skull.

      • “That would have worked if you didn’t stop me.”

        • Scrimm

          Bill looks like he’s playing with himself.

        • Virgil the Ghost Poet

          Don’t cross the streams!

    • what a wimp. the drill isn’t on yet and he have the derpy face already!

    • Same here, that’s a wide array of styles they are cramming into 1 minute songs.

  • sweetooth0

    man I love this shit

    • Tyree

      You and I seem to have similar tastes in metal.

      • sweetooth0

        so it would seem. Basically, if it’s ugly, evil and harsh, I am there.

        • Tyree


      • more beer

        Getting laid at bandcamp just keeps getting better and better! I raise my beer to you.

        • Tyree

          Cheers! I’m pretty drunk. Hope you are too.

          • more beer

            I`ve had a few and smoked a bunch of weed I`m certainly not feeling any pain. Cheers to you!

  • I’m listening Caveman Cult.

    It’s cult and cavernous.

    And I liked the dynamics between the sonic intense parts and the slower ones.


    • Dagon’s Shocked Right Nipple

      How did you find The Howling Void?

      • Jajajaja, from a certain bear!!

        • Dagon’s Shocked Right Nipple

          There was something lost in translation here, did you like it?

          • Well. I don’t tend to listen to much drony stuff. But, I think I can go back to them when I need some stuff like that because it wasn’t so much opressive. It got a different vibe 🙂 Thanks!

          • Dagon’s Shocked Right Nipple

            I linked an album at the Seven Days ov Diskografies that has lot of keyboard stuff in the middle of songs and melodies.

          • MELODIES! I need to dive again, then!

  • Trepanation and Black Fucking Cancer are sick.



  • *casts Tapir Conjuration spell…

    • Tapir McPhallus

      U a witch?

      • nope, Argonian! missed you…

        • Tapir’s Inquisition

          Well you better keep on missing me because I’m gonna go see CMX live soon.

          • i hope they play all the hits!

          • Dagon’s Shocked Right Nipple

            I’ll be with you in spirit and as the jizz on Yrjönä’s beard.

  • EsusMoose

    So many children at my university today, I hate them

    • VVayne Brady

      Careful, the Corgi bites.

      • EsusMoose

        A rapid corgis is best attack corgis

  • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    war metal—music of the future—cyber war against media/911 perpetrators–and those that use “race” as a tool to divide people—as music saves the earth from secretly racist libtards
    fuck those motherfuckers
    (both at once -full vol)
    1st vid –full vol
    2nd vid-50%vol

  • CyberneticOrganism

    Dude! Sean from Unholy Crucifix made a remix of a Deus Ex song for me once.

  • Great tunes this installment, Tyree, and I appreciate the shoutout <3 That Caveman Cult is (rather appropriately) scratching all my itches as I sit awaiting the arrival of my anthropology teacher.

  • Stockhausen

    I need to get home and listen to these so I can be home listening to these.

    • Tyree

      That’s a plan you should plan on doing.

    • CyberneticOrganism

      I agree with this, which is a thing I agree with, that being this.