Gene Simmons: too much of a creep for Fox News

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Oh, so now Fox News cares about horny old cretins harassing female staffers.

Gene Simmons is having a week, y’all. Fresh off the experience of being heckled by a former Anal Cunt guitarist at an awards ceremony, Gene went and got his ass banned from Fox News. How in the hell does that even happen?

In this report by The Daily Beast, sources from Fox tell of his fateful banning on Wednesday morning. After taping a segment for Mornings with Maria to promote his new book, On Power, things… things just kinda got outta hand. Instead of attending a separate taping, Simmons barged into an unrelated staff meeting and started yelling like a senile old asshole.

“Hey chicks, sue me!” he shouted, and then pulled open his red velvet shirt to reveal his chest and belly, according to the source. Then he starting telling Michael Jackson pedophilia jokes, and then bopped two employees on the head with his book, making derisive comments about their comparative intelligence according to the sound their heads made when struck.

Apparently that’s enough to get you banned from Fox News in Donald Trump’s new politically correct America. SMH snowflakes! I’m old enough to remember when you could run Fox News and just constantly sexually abuse any female staffer you wanted with your disgusting raw hamburger penis.

I guess after spending $75 million on payouts to victims of Roger Ailes and Bill O’Reilly, the network is understandably gun-shy about allowing unrepentant creeps in the studio. Following this new strategy, I look forward to Sean Hannity getting thrown into a dumpster.

Gene Simmons is 68 years old. He is now a gross, lecherous old man after a lifetime of being a gross, lecherous young man and a gross, lecherous middle-aged man. In between fronting a promotional supply company disguised as a rock band, he’s claimed to have sex with around 5000 women and advocated for war crimes in the Middle East. In other words, I can’t believe he didn’t already have his own show on Fox.

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  • Retchin’ Rites ov Karhu

    “Gene Simmons is 68 years old. He is now a gross, lecherous old man after a lifetime of being a gross, lecherous young man and a gross, lecherous middle-aged man. In between fronting a promotional supply company disguised as a rock band, he’s claimed to have sex with around 5000 women and advocated for war crimes in the Middle East. In other words, I can’t believe he didn’t already have his own show on Fox.”

    DAMN SON

    • TheGranulatingDarkSatanicMilfs

      He also looks like a living corpse, which means he could get a job as Trump’s counselor, next to Kellyanne Conway

    • Max

      The “promotional supply company” part made me chuckle.

      • GoatForest

        It’s funny because it’s true!

  • GrumpDumpus

    BUT DID YOU SEE HOW THE EMPLOYEES WERE DRESSED THEY WERE CLEARLY ASKING FOR A GOOD HEAD-BOPPING

    • lol

    • rubber dinghy rapids bro

      They didn’t tell him not to do it, and as we all know, not objecting or saying no is the new saying yes.

  • rubber dinghy rapids bro

    Pedo jokes? Misogyny? Shocking! I just wouldn’t expect this type of behaviour from the man that wrote ‘Christine Sixteen.’

  • FrankWhiteKingOfNY
  • “Music From ‘The Elder'” is still one of my favorite LPs in my vinyl collection. It has a bunch of killer tunes interspersed with unbelievably entertaining BAD ones.

  • Rolderathis
  • Janitor Jim Duggan

    Fuck Gene Simmons with a giant cactus. The man is beyond terrible. His comments on depressed people made me hate him forever.

    • Brutalist_Receptacle

      WHY DO YOU HATE CACTUS

  • ME GORAK™✓ᶜᵃᵛᵉᵐᵃⁿ

    GORAK SMAAAAAAAASH NERD OVER HEAD WITH BOOK OFTEN!!!!!!!!!!! DOES THAT MAKE GORAK JACKASS LIKE TGONGUE MAN??????

    • rubber dinghy rapids bro

      One of you is a Neanderthal with a basic primal instinct and limited intellect. The other is Gorak.

  • Ronnie Le Stain

    Do you all think Gene Simmons actually intended to fight? This reminds me of that Onion piece “Average male 4000% less effective at fighting than he believes”. For someone like Gene Simmons, who is on the older end of the spectrum, out of shape, and with zero striking or submission grappling training, the percentage is probably significantly higher. Look how slow that angry fist shake is. That’s a danged slow fist shake.

  • Dumpster Lung

    I say this all the time (in real life, at least), but the best (and probably the only good) thing about Kiss is when other bands cover their songs.

  • TheCheezFace

    >Fresh off the experience of being heckled by a former Anal Cunt guitarist at an awards ceremony,

    lmfao how am I just hearing about this. Also, fuck Gene Simmons forever.

  • David Lee Hrothgar

    fun fact: sean hannity is completely asexual

    i don’t mean like one of those internet people who just say that because endocrine disruptors in the water supply and anime have killed their libidos, i mean he’s like a ken doll down there; no genitalia whatosever

  • Óðinn

    Also, KISS sucks.

  • GrungierNine0

    Gene Simmons is an actual anti-Semitic caricature at this point.