Future Flush Meals: Illusion / Chin Chin

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I have been planning this for months, and it is finally here. Flushers: I present to you, Future Flush Meals.

I meticulously select only the finest food and metal combinations to review, and would never resort to googling it last minute and filming it on my phone and just making it up as I go along. That’s not my style.

This pilot episode took me about 18 hours of planning, about 16 different takes, and weeks worth of meticulous editing to create the perfect video. I think you’ll find that apparent when you watch this video.

The band reviewed is called Illusion: a Chinese Symphonic Power Metal band, according to their YouTube link. Their bandcamp page is located here. As advertised, they play a European style of power metal, ripe with synths, gumdrop guitar melodies, and pretty vocals. Would recommend to anyone curious what a Chinese power metal band might sound like, or anyone who is into Euro-style power metal.

On to the food.

Chin Chin, my favorite local Chinese restaurant, is a tiny little place. This is a pretty typical dialogue when I call them to order food:

CC: “Hello what you want?”
RT: “Sweet & Sour Chicken please.”
CC: “Ok 10 minutes.” -click-

Very efficient. For a lunch special, you receive plenty of food that, while not gourmet, is exceedingly delicious and filling.

Like what you see? Want to go on a date to Chin Chin and listen to random power metal I google moments before I start the video? Do you like Sweet & Sour Chicken as much as I do? What should I do next? Hit me up in the comments below!

Did you dig this? Take a second to support Toilet ov Hell on Patreon!
  • Next do sushi / Galneryus.
    http://i.imgur.com/ozLEuks.gif

    • Leif Bearikson

      SO SENSUAL.

      • W.

        It goes down smooth.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      Agreed. I live near a sushi place that has an all you can eat sushi thing but it’s expensive. My college sold great sushi and the buffet I go to has great sushi and they can make you custom sushi.

      • Lady SteelDragon

        K

    • Howard Dean

      This gif straight up looks like a power metal Jimmy Fallon with long hair crushing some sweet and sour chicken.

      • Randall Thor

        I crushed it so hard, guh i want more right now and I JUST ate lunch

        • Elite Extremophile

          Did you say you live in Charlotte in the video? Like Charlotte, North carolina?

          • Randall Thor

            Yes, do you?

          • Elite Extremophile

            I did, I just moved up to UNC Asheville for my first year of college. It’s so weird, I just assume everyone on this website is super far away.

          • Randall Thor

            are you in our FB group?

          • Elite Extremophile

            I wasn’t aware there was one.

          • Randall Thor

            I’ll figure out how to get you into it. go post on our wall so i can find you, add you, and invite you into it (it’s a secret group)

            https://www.facebook.com/pages/Toilet-ov-Hell/268370690021747

    • dem blowjob eyes when you look up as you’re putting the food into your mouth…mmmffff.

      I swear I’m not homosexual.

      • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

        CROM IS GOING TO NEED PROOF AFTER THAT INFLAMMATORY STATEMENT !

        #CTMK

      • Gorgasm
      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        Are you sure? It sure sounds like you are.

      • Metaphysical Anus

        Then add #NoHomo every time you say something that is homosexual.

        • you don’t have to do that. every #NoHomo lasts 24 hours

          • Metaphysical Anus

            But one should always be careful and put a #NoHomo.

  • Leif Bearikson

    The greatest post in the brief history of the Toilet.

    • Metaphysical Anus

      What about BDubs?

      • Leif Bearikson

        I stand by my statement.

        • Metaphysical Anus

          I thought BDubs was the favourite of you Americans. I still don’t completely understand it.

          • KJM

            I don’t think we have BDubs in the Boston area.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            There’s a BDubs about five to ten minutes from my house. I don’t go there often.

          • KJM

            I have too many good restaurants in my neighborhood to bother with major chains.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            What is Bdubs?

          • crazytaco_12

            buffalo wild wings

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Thank you. Is that a place to go or to avoid?

          • crazytaco_12

            It’s good, just an inside joke in reference to these articles: http://www.toiletovhell.com/?s=bdubs

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Buffalo Wild Wings. I’m not one to enjoy that kind of douchebro atmosphere but they make good wings.

          • more beer

            If your in lower Westchester the Candlelight on the Yonkers Scarsdale border has the best wings around.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I live in the Hudson Valley, specifically Poughkeepsie. I do go to White Plains sometimes as they have a good movie theater and a great Cheesecake Factory.

          • more beer

            I knew you were in Poughkeepsie I used to live in White Plains. It`s not that far down Central Ave. Well worth the trip if you are down that way. You talking about the movie theater on the corner of Main and Mamaroneck? that was still Macy`s when I left there.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Yeah, I’m talking about the Mamaroneck one. They used to have a Circuit City there which closed with the chain. I miss Circuit City.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            99, Applebees, etc. Interchangable

          • Christian Molenaar

            No, Applebee’s is cougar-only territory.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Applebees sucks. When it comes to chain restaurants like that I prefer Ruby Tuesday or Golden Corral.

          • Gorgasm

            Golden Corral is a great place to drown you’re depression in all you can eat mashed potatoes….at least that explains the smell.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Is that why you hang around there?

          • KJM

            Oh yah, we have lots of chain restaurants here but they’re balanced out by the good ones. That’s the good part of living in a trendy neighborhood.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            horray gentrification!

          • KJM

            Yep, great area if you can afford it.

          • Cock of Steele

            Where I live, there is BDubs, but South Phoenix is pockmarked with all of these fantastic little Taquerias.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            You live in Boston? That’s cool. I have family in Sudbury who used to live in Worcester.

          • KJM

            Somerville to be specific.

          • Howard Dean

            BDubs will be BDubs, and Americans will always have their opinions. Opinions will always differ. Except for the two opinions all Americans share about Finland: 1) It doesn’t actually exist. And 2) This is our favorite Finn.

            http://static.iltalehti.fi/julkkislista/viiviavellan1703hr_jl.jpg

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Who is that?

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Nobody knows! Also go listen to the greatness of Kansas you Finnish man you. You’d love their prog stuff even though they became arena rock in 1980.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I know Kansas. They have some good stuff.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I’ve been trying to listen to their discography while I finish up the Blue Oyster Cult discography.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            their best song is carry on wayward son though, they have nothing better than that, although i still like their other stuff. Dust in the wind is just too depressing for me.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I love the classic stuff but they have a great discography. The only albums I hate of theirs is Drastic Measures because it sounds nothing like Kansas. At least Power had an evolution of their sound and it had Steve Walsh to make it sound like Kansas. Drastic Measures not only did not have Walsh it had no violin and sounded like a ripoff of 90125 era Yes or Asia or some other prog band gone AOR or pop.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Carry On Wayward Son and Dust In The Wind are pretty much only songs by them which I like.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            They have other stuff that is good such as their three albums before Leftoverture and Point of Know Return. I own copies of those two albums as well as their debut, Monolith and one they did with Steve Morse called In The Spirit of Things. All of these are on vinyl.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            just know that she prefers “men aryan with blue eyes and “north of Berlin””

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Oh, it’s Viivi Avellan. Why is she your favourite? There are better looking Finnish women than her.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            There is? I don’t believe that any other Finnish woman could be more attractive than her.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            plz share all borderline PG-13 images as possible

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            from the going to hell video, it’s on screen for a split second (in the video) The second is a classic metal (double) take on the banana classic.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Oh no, I’m not gonna fill your wank tank!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Damnit!

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            I did have one, and all her lady parts were covered with body paint. But old man joe, the cranky old bastard took it off, and on a friday. 🙁
            BOO! HISS! *wipes away tears of rage*

            #CROM IS ANGRY

            #CTMK

          • Cock of Steele

            But should we Finnish on her?

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            lol

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Of course you should Finnish on her, she’s smoking hot!

          • Howard Dean

            Did you date her before you dated and married Torrie Wilson? Did Viivi come to the wedding?

          • plz no.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            zing!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            No, I just enjoy looking at her.

          • Call the Slambulance

            That pun is the best thing to ever happen to this site. Thank you, sir. You may die fulfilled, knowing that you have made history.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            That pun is pretty old.

          • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

            CROM APPROVED

            #CTMK

            TOO MANY CLOTHES THOUGH

          • Cock of Steele

            Bdubs is love…

  • Bob Nühart

    You like food too? We should hang out.

  • Xan

    This is amazing.

  • W.

    Cyborg Octopus and calamari.

    • Did they release an album yet?

      • W.

        I only see those three tracks on banditcamp

    • Tyree

      What happened to Captain Calamari?

      • Janitor Jim Dvggan

        I don’t know. I might have eaten him when I was at the Chinese buffet on Wednesday.

      • W.

        He ain’t been around in a minute.

      • we should plan a surprise party for when he finally joins us

  • Metaphysical Anus

    If you make a mess with your food, you should buy this.
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iZjGb18kd7g

  • Metaphysical Anus

    Is that Randall?

    • No it’s the other power metal aficionado…..

      • W.

        There are at least three of us!

        • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

          make that 4

        • Yea, but no one as knowledgeable as he, correct?

          • Woah, let’s not make assumptions!

          • We need to have some sort of battle between the two of you to determine who is the chosen one, the one true power metal warrior.

          • We co-rule.

          • co-ruling always fails in the end, the desire for power prevails.

          • Randall Thor

            Nonsense, I have my realms and he his. Power only corrupts those who have not released their soul to the light, as we have. We now have one will: to unleash the majesty of the most powerful of metals to the land, and to vanquish all those who would reject it.

          • Lol that sounded incredibly corny.

          • No it didn’t.

          • Don’t tell me what my head thought !

          • Christian Molenaar

            GEE MAYBE THAT’S THE POINT YOU INSUFFERABLE BUFFOON.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I smell a coup!

          • Xan

            I shall be your peon!

          • Randall Thor

            Although one man can indeed make all the difference in the world, one man alone is not enough to lay down the flame to light the ground beneath for those of the false.

          • “The right man, in the wrong placcce, can make all the differenccce in the world”

          • Randall Thor

            HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I don’t believe you. Valve doesn’t know how to count to 3. I’d be slambabblegasted if they announced Left 4 Dead 3.

          • someone call the slambulance!

          • Edward Meehan

            SMITE THE POSER WITH FIRE

      • Metaphysical Anus

        Are you fucking with me?

    • Randall Thor

      Yes. I am not fat. Is that a surprise? (It probably is, let’s be real.)

      • Metaphysical Anus

        I’m disappointed that you don’t have a beard.

        • Randall Thor

          Bad news: Won’t have one for another 15 years.
          Good news: My hair will never die.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Why 15 years?

          • Randall Thor

            No one in my family could grow one before 40. I’m almost 25.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I can grow a great mustache and an even better soul patch. When women look at my face they want to fuck me right where I stand. I try to at least get somewhere private before it happens.

          • You’re being really weird again and you’re saying too much random shit. Cut it out.

          • Gorgasm

            Mjol-NOOOO!!!

          • Leif Bearikson

            Mustachioed Bear doubts the legitimacy of this comment

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Fuck me! I just noticed that the bear has mustache.

          • just say when and where

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Do you know how to travel across dimensions to the imaginary land of Finland?

          • Christian Molenaar

            This comment knocked the wind out of my soul.

  • W.

    Yngwie Malmsteen and lots of cheese.

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan

    I love your love of food. I went to a Chinese buffet on Wednesday that makes great sweet and sour chicken. They also have good crab legs, good sushi and a grill that makes good grilled food.

  • Gorgasm

    I had chinese yesterday.. went to the stereotypical lunch buffet and was devasted when they had no potstickers on that day. I’m still in a deep depression for the lack of potstickers on the buffet line.

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      The buffet near me has good dumplings and good calamari.

      • Gorgasm

        The dumplings/potstickers are my favorite…and for a small town Chinese restaurant, this place is surprisingly fantastic.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan

          The one I go to is the only one left near me. There used to be two others but one closed and the other is a sushi buffet now. They had crawfish at the one I went to Wednesday but I didn’t eat any.

    • Cock of Steele

      Those lunch buffets are good but watch out, they’ll make your ass explode.

  • Tyree

    Otto’s Pub and Brewery here in State College is like a second home for me. If any of you guys are ever in State College PA stop in at Otto’s for a nice craft beer and a pretzel. I’ll most likely be sitting at the bar waiting for you with a Slab Cabin IPA in my hand. You can’t miss me I look like a hairy monster.
    http://ottospubandbrewery.com/

    • Janitor Jim Dvggan

      I love pretzels and especially pretzel bread. Every sandwich should be forced to be on pretzel bread.

      • Tyree

        Their pretzels are beer infused. The mustard they serve with it is hot as a motha fuck too.

        • Gorgasm

          Hot mustard is second only to honey mustard in the grand scope of best condiments in the world.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I consider ranch and the Zesty sauce from Burger King the best condiments in the world.

          • Tyree

            Anything spicy/hot is a must have for me. I need to scorch my mouth, bowels, and asshole.

          • Gorgasm

            Then come on down to my corner of the desert for some amazing New Mexican cuisine. We repeatedly win best burger in the country with our green chile cheese burgers.

          • Tyree

            That sounds like some epic bowel fuckage.

          • Gorgasm

            if you’re looking for absolute bowel devastation head down to Las Cruces… Some of the hottest food, outside of Indian food, I’ve ever experienced.

          • Tyree

            Now we are talking.

          • I was thinking of driving to Las Cruces next week actually on a short little road trip…

          • Gorgasm

            You should stop there and chow on some amazing New Mexican food.

          • more beer

            The Owl Cafe in San Antonio, N.M. Best green chile cheese burgers!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I have a bottle of ghost pepper hot sauce that I want to drink. I wonder how much that would hurt…

          • Tyree

            It would hurt bad.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            I shall not do it if it will hurt that bad. I like using it once in a while even though more of it gets on my food than I want to be on there. I’m having tacos tonight so I see a reason to break it out and use it.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan

          I love hot pretzels. Whenever I go to NYC I always get a pretzel from a vendor and they are good.

        • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

          lotta hot mustard going around that happy valley. But not in Dotties basement.

          • Tyree

            Good one!

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            I’ve got plenty more if you’d like. PS my family is from a village right outside of Mill Hall

          • Tyree

            No shit! I have some brahs from Mill Hall.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            Mackeyville brah! This is they roll coal there

          • Tyree

            Ya brah! We have fuck ton of Amish here in the valley as well.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            the love them some puppy mills, those heathens.

          • Tyree

            Oh yeah.

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            But in Dotties basement you know that bed time is when the big hand is on the little hand

          • Oof.

      • pretzel bread hot pockets.

        • Janitor Jim Dvggan

          I eat those so often. The chicken jalapeno cheddar ones are my lunch of choice.

          • Jalapeno cheddar chicken pretzel Hot Pockets could replace sex.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            They sure could. I eat them so often that on weekdays I live off of them and Diet Mountain Dew.

    • Gorgasm

      I also prefer my local brewhouse (Three Rivers Brewery) as my favorite place to drink beer and creepily stare at pretty women.

      Unfortunately they don’t sell their brews outside of their establishment.

      • Tyree

        I’ve heard of Three Rivers Brewery. Looking up now.

        * Maybe not, I must be thinking of another brewery.

        • Gorgasm

          It’s a bonus that the manager of the Taproom is a sexy bartender that only looks more sexy when she’s bringing me two full pints.

          • Tyree

            Ayoooouu! All the sexy bartenders here work in the sleezy PSU frat boy bars downtown. Ottos is mostly full of large Ron Swanson looking men.

          • Gorgasm

            I bet they all have good stories about their mustaches or battle scars…one of the reasons I like the Taproom so much is I get to talk to all the old badasses there, and the sexy manager.

          • Tyree

            Exactly! I’ve talked to guys in their 70’s and 80’s at Ottos. Heard some really awesome stories over some beers.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            How can you hate the great American named Ron Swanson? He’s an inspiration to us all!

          • CÖÄL RÖLL FRÖM THE TÖILET BÖWL

            PSU…the only university where you can get a major… in a minor.

          • slap her ass bro!!

          • Gorgasm

            I wish..but she’s the type that doesn’t put up with bullshit. I’ve seen her personally bounce several belligerent assholes. Plus I really like drinking there and don’t want to get perma-banned.

          • i was just being the bro from cybernetic organism’s stories.

          • Gorgasm

            Then Hellz yea!!! Right after i finish this bump of Monster Energy!!!!

            Fuckin’ GIT SUMM!!! YO!!!

            *high five for ass slapping, but miss due to the tremors from all the caffiene just snorted*

  • Randall Thor

    Please flush any sorority lax pennies you have down your toilet, and they will arrive at TOH headquarters so I can wear them.

  • I didn’t know that this video is all I’ve ever wanted until I saw it.
    Next time, no shirt and get some greasy food you can rub all over your body.

    • Leif Bearikson

      Ann Cvlter’s Erect Penis

    • Metaphysical Anus

      We want to see some nipple twisting!

      • Pretty sure we don’t.

        • Metaphysical Anus

          Don’t deny your pleasures, Jack!

          • M Shadows!

            I THINK YOU SEEM LIKE A STUPID!

          • Guacamole Jim

            M Shadows!!!!

          • M Shadows!

            GUACAMOLE JIM!

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            M Shadows!

          • Cock of Steele

            S MHADOWS!

          • M Shadows!

            COCK OF STEELE!

          • Metaphysical Anus

            U wot?

        • Leif Bearikson

          ITT: Jack Bauer confronts his sexuality.

          • Cock of Steele

            (Que the long emotional self-reflecting walk around his local small town)

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Let’s not forget these.

          • Yes that was when chloe made me drink myself to death because all she could say is how shes emo and likes escape teh fate now and if I don’t like it I can fuck off. Which is the true reason why i disappeared.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I don’t understand jack shit because I never watched that show.

          • Yes well you took chloe a few weeks ago so it’s only a matter of time until you realize what I’m talking about. I don’t expect my show to air in imaginary places so I’m not that surprised.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I’m not death anymore Jack! The show did air here, I was just never interested in it. Some of our shows have parodied it.

          • Janitor Jim Dvggan

            Excellent. She annoyed the fuck out of me. At least you’re free of her annoyances.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Its very entertaining if you like action movies. Jack Bauer is like a hardcore version of James Bond.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            I don’t really care for action movies.

          • Virgil the Ghost Poet

            Then that was a good choice on not watching it. But Jack is fierce.

  • CONAN THE MOTHERFUCKING KING

    …………

    • Guacamole Jim

      Seeing Randall Thor AND Conan here like this just gave me the stoutest 3 inches of my life.

  • KJM

    Love me some Asian cuisine.

  • Gorgasm

    I have a sudden desire to eat ribs with a face that says, “I’m gonna make these bones my bitch…..”

    “……and then hump them.”

    • Cock of Steele

      I usually stick my tongue through the hole, before I eat the donut.

      • Metaphysical Anus

        Only your tongue? Fucking pleb!

        • Cock of Steele

          Whoa whoa whoa! Cool down there tiger, Sensuality is spoiled when done in strides.

          • Metaphysical Anus

            Sensuality is for plebs. Just jam that cock in the donut!

  • Simon Phoenix

    And I JUST had boneless chicken and pork fried rice this afternoon too.

    The version I had was a cut up chicken breast and not the usual nuggets such as you have there.

  • Chino’s Shoe

    Sexy

  • crazytaco_12

    Cattle Decapitation and a veggie burger

  • Janitor Jim Dvggan

    The music of Kansas goes well with tacos. I just ate some tacos and listened to Kansas and it made me think deeply. Kansas music makes me think deep thoughts.

  • localization question: Wherever any of you live, is it also customary to go to chinese food places and always having chinese people loudly screaming at each other in chinese?